CHAPTER NINE #2
I smile, soft but genuine. “Just the living room.”
RAY
I can’t shake the pissed-off feeling clinging to me.
The way Wynter pulled back last night, like the second she realised what we’d done, she instantly regretted it.
Maybe it was guilt, but I checked beforehand that it was what she wanted, and she didn’t give two shits about her preppy-looking boyfriend then.
I groan, dragging a hand down my face.
Why the fuck did I bother? I’ve gone almost a year without a woman in my bed, and now she’s all I can think about.
I step into the apartment, tossing my keys onto the side.
Laughter hits me first. Anika’s. I look up, surprised to find her in the living room . . . in her chair.Wynter sits beside her, the television playing some mindless show they both seem glued to.
For a second . . . I just stand there taking it in.
Then I move forward until I’m in her line of sight. “You’re up.”
Anika grins. “What do you think? Does it suit me?”
I can’t help the smile that pulls at my lips. “Yeah,” I say softly, stepping closer. “It does.” I lean down and kiss her cheek.
It’s good to see her like this. It’s been a long time. Too long.
Wynter follows me into the kitchen looking smug. “I didn’t force her,” she says quickly. “We made a deal.”
I lift the lid off a boiling pan, letting the steam hit my face. “What deal?”
“I wouldn’t push her to go outside.”
I nod slowly.
“It’s soup,” she adds, quieter now. “She likes my potato and leek.”
“Okay.”
I don’t look at her. “I’m gonna shower and change.”
“Do you want to join us for dinner?”
I check my watch, already knowing my answer. “No. I’ve got plans.”
There’s a pause behind me, as if I can feel her thinking. “Maybe we should talk,” she says. I shake my head before she’s even finished, it’s too late. That moment’s gone. “But you said adults talk,” she pushes. “So, let’s talk.”
I let out a short, humourless laugh. “That was when I thought you were mature enough to act like one.”
My words are harsh, I’m aware. Her face doesn’t hide her hurt well and I almost crumple. Almost.
But then the intercom buzzes, cutting through it. I curse under my breath. She’s early. “Answer that,” I mutter, already moving. “I need to shower quickly.”
I don’t wait for a response.
Cowardly? Maybe. But I was right. Me and Wynter was never going to work.
And so, I’m taking Anika’s advice. I’m moving forward. And not with her.
WYNTER
“I’m here to see Ray,” a female voice speaks through the crackly intercom.
I release the elevator with my heart suddenly racing.
The doors slide open, and a stunning redhead steps into the apartment. She’s all confidence and elegance. Her heels click sharply against the marble floor as she approaches, her black designer dress hugging every curve like it was made for her.
She’s . . . effortless.
I barely have time to take her in before Anika calls my name.
“He’s just in the shower,” I say, forcing a polite smile. “Is he expecting you?” Obviously, he is.
She smiles. “Yes. I’m early. It’s my fault.”
“Take a seat.” I point to the couch.
Anika looks anxious when I move to her eye line. “It’s fine,” I reassure her in a lowered voice. “Just a friend of Ray’s.”
I sit back beside her and stare at the television, praying for Ray to hurry up and get the hell out of here. It’s not nice for Anika, but moving her back to her room will only bring more attention to her.
I almost jump for joy when he finally reappears freshly showered and dressed in a dinner suit. The woman stands and he kisses her on each cheek.
“You look amazing,” he says, smiling before turning to us. “Ladies, this is Heather.” He waits a beat before adding, “Heather, this is Anika, my very good friend, and her carer.”
His words sting. They were meant to, I see it in his eyes, but they shouldn’t because he’s right. I’m here for Anika, and shagging my boss doesn’t change that.
“Don’t do that,” says Anika angrily.
“What?” he asks innocently.
“You wouldn’t introduce Catherine as my carer.”
He scoffs. “Because she’s family.”
“And Wynter isn’t?” Anika fires back. “Or have you forgotten her name too?”
“It’s fine,” I say quickly, my voice quieter than I want it to be.
“She’s hardly family, Ani,” Ray cuts in, his tone sharpening. “She’s been here five minutes.”
Silence stretches, it’s tight. Uncomfortable.
They stare each other down, neither willing to back off. I offer Heather a weak smile, heat creeping up my neck. This is humiliating.
“Who is this exactly?” Anika asks, her voice pointed.
Ray smirks slightly. “You really want to do this now?”
“No,” I cut in quickly.
“Yes,” Anika says at the same time. “I do.”
Ray exhales sharply, irritation flashing across his face. “You told me to meet someone,” he snaps. “I’m doing what you asked.”
“You don’t date strangers,” Anika shoots back.
“I don’t date, Anika,” he barks, his voice rising. “When was my last date?”
The room stills. “In case you didn’t notice,” he continues, harsher now, “I’ve spent the last year either working or being here with you.”
There’s something bitter in his tone, something that makes Anika flinch. Her eyes glass over.
“That’s enough,” I say quietly.
But neither of them listen.
“You told me to put myself out there. You told me to find someone to look after me when you’re gone, so here I am, finding your replacement.”
My heart twists painfully. Is that what last night was? Just a step in that direction? And when it didn’t work out, he moved on, just like that?
I swallow hard, shame creeping up my throat. He was my first ever one-night stand, and I was nothing more than a mistake.
I glance at Anika. Her face crumples, the hurt written all over it. Something inside me snaps, and I push to my feet.
Ray’s eyes flick to me, his expression already hardening.
“Yes,” he says before I can speak, his tone sharp, “I took you out because she suggested it.” Each word feels like a slap. “But I fucked you,” he continues coldly, “because I was drunk.”
The room is so silent, we’d hear a pin drop. Its heaviness feels suffocating.
“Get the fuck out,” Anika growls, her voice shaking with fury.
Ray’s head snaps towards her. “It’s my apartment,” he fires back.
“And you promised,” she hisses, her voice trembling now. “Remember? You promised me.”
Something shifts in Ray’s expression. The anger drains just enough for something heavier to take its place. Understanding.
He nods once. “Fine. Let’s go,” he mutters, already turning away. The woman hesitates for half a second before grabbing her bag and following him out.
The apartment falls silent the moment the door closes.
“I need to lie down,” Anika whispers.
I move quickly, guiding her back towards her room and using her harness to lower her gently onto the bed. Her lashes flutter as tears spill over, slipping down her temples into her hair.
I grab a tissue, dabbing them away carefully.
“Sorry,” she sniffles. “I don’t even know why I’m upset.”
I hesitate. “It’s been a lot,” I say softly. “And he’s pretty scary when he yells.”
She lets out a quiet, breathy laugh, shaking her head slightly. “Ray Carmichael doesn’t scare me,” she murmurs.
There’s something sad in the way she says it. Something knowing. Like she’s seen a side of him no one else has.
The evening nurse pops in to check Anika over, and once she leaves, I begin our usual routine. I don’t usually mind the evenings. They’re my favourite part of the day. It’s when we talk.
But tonight, everything feels off.
Heavy. Awkward. Ray’s words from earlier still ringing in my ears.
“I didn’t make him go out with you,” Anika says eventually, breaking the silence.
I keep my focus on her legs, running the towel gently over her damp skin.
“I told him he should start dating again,” she continues.
“I just mentioned you were nice. Maybe I hoped he’d like you.
” She exhales softly. “I just want to see him happy before . . .” She trails off.
“Anika,” I cut in gently, “you’ve got plenty of time to see Ray settle down.”
“Maybe,” she whispers. A pause stretches between us.
“So, you and he . . .” she starts, and I nod before she can finish.
“The date went well then,” she says, a small smile forming.
I let out a short, humourless laugh and nod again.
“Then why are you barely speaking now?” she asks.
“Was it because of this morning? The chair?”
I shake my head quickly, turning away before she can see my face properly. The tears come out of nowhere. I busy myself with the water, emptying and refilling the bowl just to give myself a second to breathe.
When I return, I take a steadying breath.
“I’ve only ever had one boyfriend,” I say quietly. “Josh.” The name alone makes my chest tighten. “I loved him. A lot.” My voice wavers, but I push through it. “He didn’t choose to leave me,” I add, my throat tightening. “He was taken.”
The words feel too heavy for the room. “Last night was the first time since him,” I admit, barely above a whisper. “The first time I’ve been with anyone else.” I swallow hard. “Ray was the first.”
Anika’s eyes widen, the weight of it hitting her. “Oh shit,” she breathes. “Josh . . . died?”
I nod, swallowing hard against the tears burning at the back of my throat. “Yes. He was hit by a drunk driver about eighteen months ago.”
Anika’s face softens instantly. “Oh my god, Wynter, I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head lightly. “It’s not your fault,” I say, because I’ve never understood why people apologise for things they had no control over. I focus on the cloth in my hands, needing something to ground me.
“That night . . .” I begin quietly. “The night he died, I was mad at him.” My voice wavers, but I push through it.
“He’d gone out drinking with his friends.
He was supposed to come back to mine, but .
. .” I swallow. “I was still grieving for my mum. I wasn’t coping.
I needed him there and,” I let out a shaky breath, “I didn’t really care what he needed. ”
The guilt still sits heavy. “We argued,” I continue. “He said he needed a break from me, from the crying.” My chest tightens. “And I let him go.” I blink quickly, but the tears fall anyway. “That was the last time I saw him.”
An awkward silence settles between us.
“If I could move,” Anika whispers softly, “I’d hug you right now.”
A small, broken smile pulls at my lips. “I’d take it,” I say, my voice barely there.
I take a breath, steadying myself. “That’s why I came to London,” I admit.
“Home felt suffocating. Everywhere I went, there was something that reminded me of him, of my mum.” I shake my head slightly.
“I couldn’t breathe there anymore.” I glance at her.
“I tried to stay. For my dad. For Aunt Lucy. But I couldn’t.
Then the job came up here and,” I shrug weakly, “I took it. I guess I ran.”
“You didn’t run,” Anika says firmly. “You survived.” She pauses.
“After my accident,” she continues, quieter now, “I moved here because I couldn’t face going back to my own place.
Being alone in it.” She exhales slowly. “Sebastian was here most of the time anyway, so it made sense. But if I didn’t have Ray .
. .” She trails off, shaking her head. “I don’t know what I’d have done. ”
I smile faintly. “You two argue like siblings,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
She grins through the remnants of tears. “Yeah, we do.”
Something she said earlier comes back to me. I hesitate, then ask, “What did you mean before, when you said he promised?” Her smile fades slightly. “What did Ray promise you?”
“He promised he’d never storm off during an argument,” Anika says quietly.
“But if I asked him to leave, he would. It was his idea,” she continues.
“After the accident, I struggled. I needed control and lashed out a lot.” She gives a small, sad smile.
“When you yell at someone and they want to walk away but you can’t follow them, it’s frustrating. ”
I nod in understanding.
“And sometimes you need space,” she adds. “But the other person won’t give it to you. I can’t exactly walk out, can I?”
“It makes sense,” I say softly.
There’s a small pause before she studies me. “Does he know about Josh?”
I shake my head. “No. I was going to tell him earlier, but . . .” I exhale slowly. “I pulled away last night. Pretty quickly. It annoyed him.”
Anika tilts her head slightly. “He’s not annoyed,” she says. “He’s hurt.”
I frown. “He didn’t look hurt this morning.”
“He wouldn’t,” she replies. “Ray doesn’t do hurt. He does anger.” Her voice softens. “He can’t handle rejection. Not after the way we grew up.” Her words settle over me. “He likes you,” she adds. “More than he wants to admit.”
I shake my head instinctively. “I don’t think so. He made it pretty clear this morning that it was a mistake.”
“Was it?” she asks gently. “For you?”
I busy myself helping her into a fresh top, threading her arm through the sleeve.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I mean, I liked being with him.” My cheeks warm slightly. “More than liked it.” She smirks faintly. “But then I thought about Josh,” I continue, “and the guilt just hit me.”
Anika’s expression softens. “Wynter,” she says gently, “Josh isn’t here anymore. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“It feels like I have,” I whisper.
“Then tell Ray that,” she urges. “Explain it to him. He’ll understand.”
I hesitate. Because Ray Carmichael doesn’t strike me as a man who understands anything he doesn’t want to.