Chapter Seventy-Four Charlotte
Chapter Seventy-Four
Charlotte
When Azrael and I finally touch down on what feels like solid ground, my eyes are closed, and my hands covering them are still shaking. I don’t know why I’m more terrified by the thought of seeing Heaven than I was of seeing Hell, but some part of me doesn’t want it to be a disappointment, maybe?
It feels like I’ve been training my whole life for this.
I sort of have been, I guess.
“It’s all right, little siren. You can open your eyes.” Azrael lowers my hands for me, holding me steady.
I blink, finally feeling brave enough with his support. My eyes slowly adjust to the bright white light.
My heart swells.
We’re standing in the middle of a vast field of flowers, the vivid purple blooms around us seemingly unending. Sloth lands silently beside us.
I never imagined Heaven would look like this.
Like the most beautiful places on Earth I’ve ever seen.
All the spots that’ve been left untouched by humanity.
Heaven isn’t a palace, a floating city in the sky.
It’s mountains carved into the universe’s highest peaks.
Sharp, pale-pink ridges rise from the ground, ancient and wild, their jagged edges cutting into the fabric of the universe and softened by a blue sky.
The light hangs low behind us, painting the stones in hues of rose and lavender beyond the stretch of lush green.
The air feels pure, sacred, like an endless rush of spring.
Like I’m breathing in something older than time.
I notice the gates in the distance.
They’re unspeakably beautiful.
They shimmer as iridescent as mother-of-pearl, vast and curved like open wings, their surface sparkling with a light that shifts, half-memory, half-dream.
Colors ripple over them that I don’t even have names for, and their nearness feels like music.
Like the first note of a lullaby or the last breath before sleep.
This isn’t at all what I expected.
Heaven isn’t a place.
It’s a feeling of finally coming home.
Azrael holds me tight, steady as ever, but I’m barely aware of his dark wings brushing over me. My eyes are on those gates. The way they don’t swing open. Instead, they just . . . glow.
My hand drifts to my stomach, the smallest flutter beneath my palm reminding me why I’m here. Why I have to do this.
“I never thought it would feel like this,” I whisper.
Like I could stand here forever in this field and be happy.
Azrael presses his mouth to my ear. “It’s always been beautiful,” he murmurs. “That’s why he misses it.”
Lucifer, he means.
I take a heavy breath, shaky and full, my heart aching.
My husband will never get to relive this.
My heart breaks for him.
I step forward, leaning down and brushing one of those vibrant purple blooms until it shivers in the wind.
A sudden roar echoes off in the distance, from the mountains.
“The Living Creatures,” Azrael says. “They’ve summoned them.”
The angels who were chasing us.
I’d hoped we’d somehow managed to throw them off.
But they took a detour for a different reason, it seems.
I glance at Sloth.
He seems almost as incapable of speaking as I am. Like he can’t believe he’s finally home, but now that he is, he’s paralyzed by the sight. “I didn’t think you’d ever actually get me here,” he mutters, his voice breaking.
“You can thank Salome the next time you see her.” I look at the gate before I turn toward Azrael. “I thought you said we were going to blow through them all.”
He nods, the contentment in his expression fading. “I went through as many as I could, but even I have my limits, little siren. This is the last of the twelve. The seraphim and cherubim are still hot on our tail. It won’t be long before they find us here.”
I nod, struggling to determine what to do next.
I’ll never complain about traveling through the ether ever again.
Breaking into Heaven was like being shattered apart, only to find all the pieces of myself I’d thought I’d lost and have them molded back together.
Now I feel more whole and complete than when I started.
I glance around at the gorgeous mountains.
This place may be beautiful, but I’ll take Hell over this any day.
All the real fun’s down there.
My gaze sweeps over the landscape. Over Sloth.
He belonged here. Just like Lucifer.
Once upon a time.
In this place of divine beauty so unmatched it almost makes me weep.
It only makes the way God cast them all out seem even crueler. More devastating.
“How are we supposed to—”
“Go through the gate.” Azrael nods toward it. “I’ll hold them off. It’ll open for you. You’re the only reason I was able to break through the others, remember?”
“But I don’t want to do this without—”
“You can, little siren.” He cups my neck, his calloused thumb gently tracing along my jawline. “You can, and you will. End of story. Once you’re past the gate, you’ll be safe. All you have to do is find Him.”
Find God.
The guy who’s abandoned us all this whole time.
Easier said than done, I think.
Another roar echoes.
This time, closer.
It sends a chill down my spine.
I’ve seen what kind of creature that noise is attached to. Or an early version, at least.
I’m not eager for a repeat.
“Go.” Azrael releases me, nudging me toward the gate like he’s delivered so many others here so many times before. “Time moves faster here. You won’t have long. Remember that.”
“And what am I supposed to do if I—”
“You’ll find Him, Charlotte. I have every faith in you, and Lucifer does too, and when you’re ready to come home, I’ll be here at the gates, waiting.”
Sloth takes my hand, like even if Azrael can’t go with me, he will.
For now, at least.
So, I allow him to lead the way as I watch Azrael fly off, dark wings spread like shadows against the sky, and I wonder how Lucifer and I ever thought we could do this without him in the first place. I don’t want to imagine a different ending.