Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
ROWAN
P issed off didn’t even begin to cover it.
It seemed everyone had figured out just how far off the edge I was dangling, and I couldn’t even pretend to give a shit anymore.
Bear. Scout. Even Sadie knew by now. She said to stop screwing with her life.
It was more like the other way around. She was on a goddamn warpath, and I was the fucking wreckage she was leaving behind.
Not only that, but she was also doing a damn good job of making sure I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t do much of anything but try to figure her out and fail.
The soft press of her lips lingered on mine, burning me up from the inside out.
Sadie Cooper was mine. At least according to the entire club. Yeah, smart fucking move that was.
I scrubbed a hand through my hair, shoving it back, and drew in a deep lungful of nicotine from the cigarette teetering between my lips. I paced hard enough for the gravel to grind under my boots, every turn another crack in my self-control.
Bear stood by his bike parked in my driveway, arms crossed, his silence louder than any words. Scout hung back a few feet away like he was too scared to come any closer. He shifted his weight, hands shoved into his pockets while glancing at Bear as though looking for direction.
I was looking for direction too, left behind in the nothingness that followed Sadie with each shove to keep me away.
But this time, it was my stupidity that had landed me in this shit pile.
She still wanted the truth. But until Snake was out of the picture, I couldn’t let her near the smell of it.
That night, when Logan had come to me, I’d brushed it off. I remembered it all too clearly—the strain in his voice, the look on his face when he had told me Sadie would need me. Back then, I’d never understood. Practically laughed it off as Logan being dramatic.
Now, I knew there were things he’d hidden from me. Hidden from Sadie. Things that circled back like a pack of rabid dogs, teeth bared, ready to tear through the life I’d built when there was nothing left of the old one but the house and my brother’s ghost.
Somewhere a dog barked into the dark. It probably sensed the bullshit brewing inside me, just as the two men standing in front of me did.
Bear nudged a larger rock with the toe of his boot.
It rolled a few times, then settled back into place with the rest of the dirt.
He stared at it like it had all the answers he was looking for, then fixed those knowing eyes on me, steady enough to peel away what little patience I had left.
“You pacing for a reason?” he said, his voice low and grating on my goddamn nerves. “Or are you just marking your territory?”
I glared at him through the cigarette smoke as it curled into the humid night air. “Is it that fucking obvious? ”
He scoffed. “Getting there.”
Scout rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes whipping between the two of us.
“This feels like it’s going to blow up, VP.
You should have seen Snake’s face after you two left.
” He looked like he wanted to ask a hundred questions but didn’t dare open his mouth again, his discomfort about as welcome as Bear’s stare-down.
He never had been all that good with tension, and the amount rolling off me at that moment could be sliced with a knife.
“Well?” Bear said, dismissing Scout’s concern, arms still crossed like he had all night.
“You want to tell me what the hell that was back at the clubhouse? I know you two have history, or whatever, but claiming Sadie as your old lady . . .” He shook his head, unimpressed.
“Risky move, man. But tell me, what’d she think of it?
I know you didn’t ask first.” A hint of humour lingered in his tone, as though he knew exactly what Sadie thought of it.
My jaw tightened as the memory of Snake draped over Sadie gnawed away at me.
I flicked the cigarette butt into the gravel and toed out the cherry.
“I didn’t have a choice,” I said, the words forcing their way out.
“She found a letter from Logan . . .” The words hung there, unfinished and accusing, and I rubbed the back of my neck in an attempt to buy me some more time.
“He wanted to tell her something the night he . . .” I cleared my throat. “. . . you know.”
Jesus Christ, I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word suicide out loud. If I uttered it, it would make it more real, an unchangeable fact. But his death wasn’t still up for debate. My brother’s ghost wasn’t hanging around waiting for a fucking verdict.
Scout was the first to react, his mouth dropping half-open, a question stirring on the inside of his mind. He glanced at Bear, to me, then back to Bear again. “What did he want to tell her?”
I sucked in a deep breath, dust and motor oil clinging to the air.
I swiped the back of my wrist across my nose, trying to clear the tightness in my throat.
“The letter didn’t say much. Just that there was some truth he needed to tell her.
Now Sadie won’t leave the damn thing alone.
That’s why she was there tonight, stirring shit. She’s looking for answers.”
“What’s it got to do with the club?” Scout tilted his head, a frown set on his face.
I crossed my arms over my chest, half-shrugging. “Sadie and Logan had this, I don’t know, song or some shit that they’d made up as kids while catching tadpoles at Hollow Creek.”
Scout’s frown deepened, but he stayed quiet—same as Bear—and let me keep going.
“My old man had gotten into Logan’s head,” I said, my gaze darting to Sadie’s blacked-out window.
“I found messages on his phone after he died.” That was it.
I’d said the words out loud now and there was no taking them back.
“But that’s not all.” I glanced out at the empty street.
“Patricia—Sadie’s mum—had notebooks full of addresses.
Looks like she was investigating Hollow Creek Farm. ”
I’d spent years pretending—ignoring—the gnawing voice in my head that said my father had something to do with Logan’s death. Not that he’d strung him up himself but handed him the rope.
Bear remained silent, those all-seeing eyes remaining set on me. He understood what I wasn’t saying. Understood that the shit I’d dredged up was a lot deeper than any of us had thought.
“What are you saying? That Logan knew Patricia was onto something?” Scout said, stepping forward. “Her death was ruled an accident, right?” His voice had that eager edge to it, like he was about to stumble onto something big. He was getting there.
“I think my brother knew more than he had let on,” I said. “And as for Patricia’s accident, I’m sure you can put two and two together. Hollow Creek Farm seems to be the centre of all this shit. Whatever was going on back then, it was enough to have the chief’s own wife taken out.”
“Fuck.” Scout’s cheeks puffed out as he forced out a breath.
“Now you know why I don’t want Sadie touching this. She’s trying to pick up where Patricia left off, like she’s got any idea what she’s walking into. What I did tonight, it should keep Snake at bay for now. Still doesn’t mean she’s out of danger. Look who her goddamn father is.”
Bear shifted, a slight movement that carried a tonne of weight. He wasn’t good at hiding when he was worried, and I’d known him long enough to recognise the set of his jaw. “You think your brother was in on it—Patricia’s death?” It wasn’t so much a question, more so a grim confirmation.
“Maybe,” I said, my words looping in my head like a scratched record.
“He was hiding shit from me the whole damn time. From Sadie, too. She won’t stop until she uncovers whatever it is he took to his grave.
I’ve been pushing her away, but now . . .
we’re official.” I hated what I’d done to Sadie.
Made her question herself, all because I wasn’t ready to face the truth.
Logan had gotten himself into shit.
Bear stared at me, the way he did when he knew I was trying to convince myself of something.
“You said there are notebooks?” He lifted a thick eyebrow, stroking his beard with tattooed fingers.
I nodded. I knew where he was going with his line of questioning.
Still, I waited for him to continue. “Sadie could be sitting on a fucking ticking time bomb.”
My blood pounded in my temples, and I swallowed against the hard knot in my throat.
“She’s in over her head, and she doesn’t even know it,” I said, the truth of it hitting me where it hurt the most—my goddamn heart.
“She’s going to bring the entire shit pile crashing down on all of us. It’s a goddamn mess.”
The dim porch light cast half Bear’s face in shadow as he nodded, slow and calculating. He was wrapping his head around the situation, all those wheels in motion, figuring out our next move.
Snake was simple. We had a plan, and once the chief was on board, it was go time. But Sadie? She was a whole other storm, and this mess wasn’t something we could solve in thirty minutes under the office light.
Scout rubbed his hands together, his nervous energy buzzing like the first sign of the cicadas in the distance. I could almost hear the gears turning in his head.
“Maybe . . .” he said, gaze zeroed in on me, “we should let Sadie help.” His voice was uncertain, as it fucking should have been. There was no way that was happening.
I scoffed. “Over my dead fucking body.”
Scout slumped back onto his bike, fidgeting and kicking a few loose rocks with the toe of his boot. He deflated like I’d just popped his insides.
Bear gave a slow nod. “Kid’s got a point, bro,” he said, his voice even, an unspoken challenge in the words. “Sadie’s mum was working on a story before she died. Let’s find out what she knew. If it ends up being a dead end, then at least we’re covering every angle.”
Bear wasn’t spit balling. It was a strategy. One I’d refused to even think about. But he was right. He was telling me what I already knew and didn’t want to admit—that if we didn’t sort this out, someone else was going to pay with their lives.
And that someone could very well have been Sadie .
I bit down on the inside of my cheek, hard enough for that familiar taste of metal to fill my mouth. The truth gnawed at me. We needed to know what Patricia had been working on. Logan had been smart, using a song they’d made up to lead Sadie. He must have known no-one else would understand.
I sighed, scrubbing my hands over my face, the tension in my temples pounding like a dull hammer. The noise of the bush seemed to grow louder, like even nature knew shit was coming.
“Fine,” I said, my voice hoarse. “But we do it my way. I don’t need Sadie getting any more involved than that.
” That last part was for my benefit as much as anyone else’s.
If I said it enough, maybe I’d believe it.
“We find out what her mother knew, and that’s it.
” I met Bear’s steady gaze. “But I want it kept between us. Iron doesn’t need to know, and God help me Scout, if you so much as murmur a word to anyone else, I’ll cut your goddamn tongue out myself. ”
Scout scrunched up his nose. “Jesus, VP.” He held both hands up. “Mouth shut. Got it.”
He knew I wasn’t kidding. He’d been around long enough to understand that if Iron got wind of this, there’d be hell to pay.
And if Snake found out we were involving Sadie in club business, it would be all over before it even began. My claim on Sadie had already piqued his curiosity, and I didn’t need another reason for him to come after me. If I had my way, his days were numbered.
“But if we’re doing this, I need eyes on her,” I said, my throat dry, as I stared straight at Scout.
He was my only lifeline. It was a hell of a thing to trust him with this, but what other choice did I have?
He shoved a hand through his hair, uncertainty written all over his face. “Sadie? ”
I gave a quick nod, lighting another cigarette to keep my hands busy.
“Snake’s getting too curious,” I said, attempting to keep the fear out of my voice.
The last thing I needed was for them to know how bad it really was, that I could feel the danger wrapping around us.
“I don’t want him getting ideas, and we could be dragging her further into trouble. ”
His eyebrows shot up. “You want me to follow her?” He shifted from foot to foot, like his legs couldn’t decide which side to stand on.
But if he wanted to prove himself to me, to stay on my good side, then he’d very well do as he was told.
I nodded again, blowing out a lungful of smoke. I pointed to her window. “Follow her. Watch her. I don’t care if she’s buying fucking toothpaste—I want to know.” My voice was rough, grating against my throat like I’d chewed glass and thought it was a good idea to then swallow it.
Scout straightened up. “I’ll keep close,” he said. “She won’t even know I’m there.” But I caught the pause before he spoke, the doubt in it, like even he knew that was going to be hard to achieve.
“You keep pretending this is about keeping her safe,” Bear said, more amused than pissed. “And one day you’re going to have to admit you’re the one who’s dangerous.”
I didn’t have a comeback. He was right once again, and I fucking hated him for saying it out loud.
It meant that no matter what, at some point I’d have to let Sadie go for good.
While we were pretending, we could do just that—pretend.
But once this was over, once we got to where we needed to go, she would leave me again.
Bear didn’t say another word, just let the silence close in around us. It was a challenge, that silence, a dare for me to own up to my bullshit. I let it hang there like the cigarette smoke. Like the goddamn memory of Sadie’s face when she had left me all alone.
I flicked the last of my cigarette into the dirt and ground the butt into the ground until the ember went out with a hiss. I thought handing her off would be enough. But at that moment, I wanted it to be me in the shadows.
Obsession didn’t come with an off switch. It just flickered, waiting for the right time to burn everything down.