Epilogue
Jamison - One Year Later
“Can you grab the big serving tray off the shelf in the garage?” Claire asks, taking mini egg tart things off of the pan she just pulled from the oven.
“Sure,” I say quickly, shoving a third piece of nicotine gum into my mouth. Does it count as being “better for you” if you stress chew an entire row? I switched to the gum a few months ago but days like today definitely make me miss the real thing.
Claire puts down the tray and walks to me without taking her eyes off mine. “Hey, you okay? It’s just our friends and family, remember?”
“No, no, it’s not that.” Of course, I still have an occasional moment where the idea of socializing sends a chill up my spine, but at this point, I think it’s the same as anyone who just generally dislikes most people.
“Just tired. Jackson and I got in late last night," I say.
She nods and lifts the side of my shirt, exposing my ribs and fresh tattoo.
“It looks so good,” she says, running her finger around the outline of the Maverick that my brother and I both got permanently placed on our bodies last night.
At this point, it’s so much more than a car.
To us it's the reason we were brought back together after way too much time apart. To me, it's the reason I met Claire.
“Thanks, babe.”
“Hey, is Mel going to be able to make it?
“I don’t think so, but she told me she’s dying to meet you. Maybe we can get together another time soon.”
“Ooh, over monkey bread pancakes?” she begs.
I kiss her on the side of the head. “Whatever you want.” She smiles and then puts on her back-to-work face.
“Perfect,” she says. “But right now…I want the serving tray.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say, walking towards the door.
The garage is detached so I have to walk through the backyard to get to it. The perfect excuse to put some distance between Claire and me and get these nerves under control.
We moved in a few months ago. It was the biggest thing either of us has ever done.
For me it was finally having a place that’s mine.
It was proving to myself that I can make a life for myself and for Claire and help us start our future.
Not only that, but it was a physical structure to put meaning to the word home — something that, for most of my life, never even existed.
And I would have never made it here without her.
Or Sean.
Claire and I lived together in her apartment for a while until it was time to invest in something bigger.
It just so happens that at the same time, Sean’s parents decided to sell their house in Maple Grove and stay on the road permanently — with Sean’s blessing of course.
He always said it was too much house for him anyway.
Instead, he moved to a spacious two-bedroom apartment downtown and when his parents were ready to sell, he suggested that they bypass the grueling market and give it to his favorite couple to rent-to-buy.
So, now Claire and I live in that quiet neighborhood, a few streets from Enzo’s. We have a light gray house with a white porch around the front, flower boxes, and a teal wooden door.
And Sean has officially paid his debt to me.
He had one last Fourth of July cookout here and then passed the keys to us. It’s now been a few weeks and we’re pretty much settled in, so we (Claire), figured it was time for a little housewarming party.
I still can’t believe I get to call this place home with the most amazing person I have ever met.
If you would have told me over a year ago that I would be inviting all of my favorite people to a party for the home I share with Claire, I would have told you to kick fucking rocks.
But here I am, and it’s the perfect excuse to gather all of the people that we love without ruining the surprise.
I get to the garage and I stop to take it in, like I always do.
It’s small and unorganized for now, but it’s the perfect size for a car I hope to one day have in here.
When we were looking at the house, it was actually Claire who suggested it.
I always left the repairing I do at Monroe’s and thought one day I’d just buy a hotrod that was ready for the road, but she reminded me that I’m good at putting things back together that were once not at their best. I did it for myself and now, I hope to one day rebuild something that has been tossed aside and make it something special.
I scan the shelves for the plate that Claire needs and eventually find it with the other miscellaneous items that don’t yet have a place inside. I grab it and head back to the house, but not before also grabbing the little white box in the back of the first drawer of my tool chest.
I open it and take a deep breath looking at the ring inside for the millionth time.
When I asked Claire’s parents for their permission to marry her, her dad had a million questions of course, all of which I was prepared for, but her mom simply left the table.
At first, I was concerned. Is she that upset that her daughter may spend the rest of her life with me?
But that changed when she came back with this.
A solid gold band with a ribbon of small diamonds swirled around one large one in the center — Claire’s grandmother’s ring.
I had never seen something so nice, so expensive.
I had never seen a family heirloom before.
But where my family was the type to pass on only generational trauma, Claire’s family is the type to pass on these types of meaningful and beautiful things.
The type of family I will soon be a part of officially.
Or at least I hope so.
I tuck the ring box in my sock under my jeans and take the plate inside.
Stepping through the back door and looking into the living space and kitchen, I look around and see Zeke talking with Claire’s parents, and Sean and Rick goofing around with the other guys from the shop.
I see Ronan and Mikey checking out Jackson’s new tattoo. And then I see Claire.
Her hair is down in soft waves around her perfect face, her freckles on full display from the summer sun.
Her cheeks are flushed from the warmth of the oven as she dances around Chloe to pull out another tray.
She throws her head back to laugh, her sundress swaying from the movement, and I’m still completely mesmerized by her.
“Jay!” she calls when she sees me and I’m instantly nervous like she can suddenly see inside my sock. “Just put that here. I have a surprise for you.” I relax just slightly. Here I thought surprises were my thing today.
“Jay Bird,” Chloe says when she sees me.
“Chloe,” I say back. She wraps one arm around my waist and hugs me from the side as Claire leaves the kitchen.
I do the same and lean my head against the top of hers in an embrace.
Chloe and I have gotten much closer this past year.
She has a tough exterior, but she’s total mush on the inside — much like some other people I know.
Claire comes in from the front porch with a large cardboard box. I take it from her and put it on the counter.
“I just got a text that they came,” she says shakily and I assume it’s from the weight of the box until I realize what’s inside.
“Oh, no shit!” I say loudly. They both slap me from either side of my body.
“Shh!” Chloe whispers.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it,” Claire says.
“Make a big deal about what?” Sean yells from the living room, grabbing the attention of all the other guests. So much for being discreet.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Claire calls back, but at this point, all of our family and friends have gathered around the perimeter of the kitchen to see the mystery inside the box.
“It’s okay,” I whisper into Claire’s ear. “This is everyone who loves you. Now’s the perfect time.” And I’m not sure if I’m saying it more to her or to myself.
She nods back at me and grabs scissors from the kitchen drawer. Sliding the blade down the middle, she opens the box and pauses.
Chloe, who is absolutely too short to see inside, just squeals with pure excitement for her friend. I grab Claire’s hand below the counter and give it a quick squeeze to let her know I’m there.
Wherever you are, I think.
Claire takes a deep breath in and pulls out a book with a blue and yellow cover that reads, “The Adventures of Alice and Owen.” She exhales, rubbing her thumb along the bottom text: Claire Dawson.
“Wait what’s that?” Sean calls out.
“A book you dumbass,” Mikey says.
“Whose book?” Ronan asks.
“Claire’s!” Chloe yells at him, before trying to hide her smile.
“It’s here!” Claire’s mom squeals.
“Hey, did you hear my daughter’s an author?” Mr. Dawson says to Zeke.
“You did it,” I whisper just to Claire. She leans back into me and brings the book to her chest.
“Thanks to you,” she says.
I wrap my arms around her from behind and rest my chin on top of her head.
“No way, baby, this was all you.”
I feel her head move back and forth beneath me as she holds the book out again. She opens it and turns to the very first page with words. I read them over her shoulder.
“Dedication -
To all of those who were once so beautifully broken. Thank you for showing the rest of us how to piece ourselves back together.”
I let out a quick gasp and squeeze her tighter. This girl who turned my world upside down in the best possible way, who brought me back to life, who saved me despite constantly reminding me that I saved myself, is thanking people like me for helping someone like her.
“I love you,” I whisper in her ear.
“I love you, too,” she says back, nuzzling into the crook of my neck. It’s now that I realize this is the perfect time. I clear my throat and stand up straighter.
“Actually, there’s one more box," I say.
Claire pushes off of me and looks toward the front door. “No,” she says, sorting through the books on the counter. “I just ordered a handful. This was the only one.”
I drop to one knee, and she spins around when she hears gasps from guests behind her. When she does, her hand flies to her mouth as her honey-colored eyes land on me, box in my hand, arm extended.
“Jay,” she says tentatively as Chloe squeezes her arm at her side.
“Claire.”
“What are you doing?”
“When I met you, I was just barely living. But from the second I laid eyes on you through that tinted window, everything changed. You saw the best in me when I could only ever see my worst. You broke down walls, peeled back layers — you saved me, Claire.”
“You saved yourself,” she whispers.
“Thanks to you,” I say smiling, mimicking her from earlier.
“But this life we’ve built, these people behind me, I wouldn’t have any of this without you.
My past is so messed up, but my future, with you in it, is everything I have ever wanted.
” I set the ring box on the floor and take both of her hands in mine.
"Claire Elizabeth Dawson, I love you so much. So fucking mu—”
“Jamison…” Claire’s mom calls from behind.
“Sorry, Mrs. Dawson,” I say finding her in the crowd. “So much,” I continue, turning back to Claire. “Will you please spend the rest of your life with me?”
Claire nods with tears streaming down her face as Chloe jumps beside her.
“I’m gonna need you to say it, Claire.”
“Yes!” she says. “Of course, yes!” I drop her hands, grab the box off the floor, and kiss her with everything I have, entangling our limbs in the sweet scent of vanilla.
I slide the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit, and feel a hand clap my shoulder from behind.
The rest of our guests swarm Claire, but Ronan is there for me, arms open, as he always was.
“You better be ready to be my co-best man,” I say, hugging him tightly.
“Wait, for real?” he says. “You swear?”
“I swear.” I hold out my pinky and he smiles, wrapping his in mine, both of us spitting right on the kitchen floor.
“Ew, you guys are disgusting!” Chloe squeals, the two of us laughing hysterically at each other. “Claire, you’re so lucky your maid of honor will be there to save you from these clowns.”
Ronan raises his eyebrows toward me then throws a wink in Chloe’s direction who tries her best, but fails, to hide her blushing cheeks. After a year, I still have no idea what is going on there. And neither do they.
“Now it’s a party!” Mikey yells from the living room as Sean tinkers with the speaker we have sitting on the coffee table. I look at Claire, who is holding her hand out to her mom, smiling from ear to ear.
When I used to think about my life, I thought of abuse and neglect, pain and suffering.
I was sad and depressed and so incredibly broken.
Now, looking around this house, our house, I see my life, and it is nothing short of perfect.
There’s love and meaning, peace and happiness.
I have my friends, my brother, my new family, and Claire — everything I could ever need.
Jackson intercepts me on my way to Claire and hugs me like a brother does. “I’m proud of you,” he says and I feel it light up all of the darkest parts of me.
“Thanks, man,” I say, choking back feelings.
He steps to the side and says, “Now, go get your fiancé.”
I nod at him and then I do. And for once Sean’s song choice is spot on as Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car fills the room.