Chapter Seven
LOLA
I'm in his heart.
I'm in his heart?
Maybe, as a friend, someone he's always known. Someone, I guess, he cares about.
And it should make me feel better, make me soft.
It doesn't.
It's something people say to try to make someone else do their bidding, to win them over. But I'm not a prize to be won at a fair.
Besides, being in his heart is...what?
He didn't say love, not that I'd believe that. I don't even care that I've known him all my life. Back then, he was a boy, a teen, not a man, and me being in his heart means he saw me like a sister.
I get on the bed in the spacious suite, which even has its own sitting room attached, and hug a pillow to my roiling stomach.
Sister?
Gross.
I know his sister, and I'm not that.
I just mean someone he cares for because he's always known me.
"Yes, but something changed when he pretended to be Alex."
Intimacy. Freedom to talk worked both ways, as I had no idea who he was, and he knew that.
The sex...
Is just sex.
Was just sex.
I let out a shaky breath.
There's no lock on the door, no old-fashioned thing I can think of picking. Just a keypad that has a blank spot for a thumbprint.
I spent an hour trying to unlock it, but I can't guess the number, and even if I could, how the hell would I get the stupid print thing to work?
Bite off one of his fingers?
It's so stupid that I start laughing, and the shift in the air makes me stop and turn.
Enzo.
"What's so funny?"
"Biting your finger off."
Behind him, the door is shut again, and I would rush him, but for what? I tried that when he first put me in here and got nothing. Besides, the door is already shut.
He sets down the bags he's holding, along with the bag of something that smells divinely fragrant and savory.
Then Enzo approaches and leans over me, pinning me to the spot on the bed.
His mouth almost brushes mine. "I'm game."
"You wouldn't like it."
"I said I'm game to let you try. I'm up for exploring our kink."
My breath comes in short, sharp gasps as he trails a hand up my thigh, slipping it against my pussy, rubbing the material against the sensitive, hot, and now wet flesh.
And I moan.
He grins, pushing the cotton aside and sinking two fingers into me as he bites and sucks on my throat.
My entire body and half my brain are natural-born traitors as my back arches, and that part of my brain that turned to mush widens my legs to give him better access.
His mouth is so freaking good, his teeth sharp as they nip and graze, tongue hot and lips soft as he licks and kisses before going back to sucking and biting.
And it's in perfect sync with his fingers inside me.
My body sucks at his fingers, hips moving for more as he rubs my clit and those fingers stroke my G-spot.
He could make me come, make me—
Enzo stops, pulling free and is on his feet so fast my head spins.
"Asshole." I spit the word at him.
He smiles slowly. And there's an edge of anger to that smile.
Good. I haven't forgiven him, either.
"You liked it."
"Me liking it and wanting it are two different things. I want to go home. This isn't space."
He shakes his head. "Sure, it is. And it's the only space you're going to be getting. I'm keeping you safe, remember?"
"Maybe this Dom isn't that bad. Look at what you do?"
"I don't pull guns on you."
"No. You're worse. You lie and stalk."
"He was spying on your apartment first. I shut that down."
I stare at him for the longest time, my pulse hammering as my blood pressure rises. "And you didn't tell me. You just used his spying to spy on me instead."
"To protect you."
"Is that like murder to stop a stubbed toe from hurting?"
He glares at me. "You're not going anywhere. I got you pho and summer rolls."
More bribery.
I don't respond to him, even as my tummy rumbles.
"And I got you toiletries. Nice ones. Clothes, too."
"Oh, good. I can dress up for... no one at all. I'm not getting changed or showering because I think your quota of free peep shows is more than full."
He slams a hand against the table where the food is, and the package jumps. "I don't have cameras in my house. I don't need them. The room is camera-free."
"And how do I know that?"
"You'll just have to trust me."
I narrow my eyes. "Because that worked so well last time."
"That's a you problem, Lola."
"I think it's more of a you thing."
"Then stay in here for all I care."
"Good."
"Great." He prowls the room.
And I yawn.
He glares at me. "You're such a fucking child."
"So are you. Locking me up—"
"You're locked up for your own good. And you'll stay this way until I can be sure you're not going to run a second time. Hitchhiking? You could have been raped, killed, sold into sex slavery."
I offer a sugary smile. "Is that what you do?"
"No. I make concrete heels for loud-mouthed females named Lola who fight me when I'm trying to protect them."
"Some say protect. Others say stalk."
He goes to say something but clearly realizes this isn't a battle he can win.
"For fuck's sake." He turns, using his thumbprint to get out of the room.
Satisfaction fills me as he slams the door behind him.
"Strike one for me." I punch the air.
But the words are empty because a childish fight isn't what I wanted.
I wanted something far worse.
Connection.
The thing Alex gave me, and it seemed Enzo was doing, too.
But with Alex and Enzo being one and the same, my fantasy of a threesome with them isn't something he shares, and it makes me...
It makes me feel like a freak.
The smell of the food no longer teases. It just turns my stomach leaden.
One thing I wanted was connection, a way in. Because no matter what, there are feelings in me for Alex. And for Enzo.
Even knowing they're the same person, those feelings are still there.
Maybe stronger, maybe the same, I don't know.
But those feelings live and breathe, and I don't know what to do about it.
Because I don't think they're going away anytime soon.
Or at all.
But the betrayal and pain inside from his lies and the things he did aren't going anywhere, either.
To make it worse, Enzo seems to think I should sweep it all away under a rug, he thinks I should stop being childish and grow up.
He hasn't properly owned up to his mistakes and his part in this, which makes it worse.
Sure, he said sorry in the most generic way possible, like he was apologizing for acting like a Neanderthal and not for what he did.
If he actually apologized for lying to me and meant it, maybe there'd be a chance we could work this out.
Those chances are slim, next to nonexistent.
A light knock on the door rips me away from my thoughts, and the anger bubbles. Of course, he'd knock to rub it in. Of course—
"Go away! I'm done talking to you, Enzo."
There's a pause, and the door opens.
I jump up from the bed at the sight of Lyndall, who looks fine and in one piece.
She closes the door, and I hurry to her, hugging her close.
My eyes are blurry and hot with tears as she hugs me back just as fiercely. "Oh my God. Lyndall! I'm so sorry, I should never—"
"You've nothing to be sorry for. I wanted to go with you, to make sure you were okay. I screwed up."
I frown at her, pulling out of the hug to take her pretty face in my hands. "No. I shouldn't have made you come with me."
"My choice. Enzo would never hurt me, and I knew if we were both gone and you were as stubborn as you are, he and Dad would rain hellfire down to get us back."
Get her back, she means. But I don't say it because I'm not here to trash her family.
No matter how much I want to.
She slides a satchel off her shoulder. "I got these for you. I know he's feeding you, but you need some snacks. So, I got a variety of chips, some banging new chocolates with caramel centers, and Pop Rocks... Oh, and I got you some gummies."
No fruit, no healthier snacks.
I couldn't be more delighted.
"Thanks." I give her another hug.
She looks at me. "And my phone's in there, too. Not the smashed one, but the new one Enzo got me, so just use it for entertainment. You know, at least until Enzo comes to his senses."
"You're the best."
Lyndall grins. "I know."
I'm not sure what time it is when Enzo walks in without knocking. It both titillates my senses and makes every hackle rise.
There's a part of me that likes the aspect of getting caught in a state of undress, but the rest of me is rubbed the wrong way.
It's too soon, too close to the spying violations he committed. And Alex asking about it is different from Enzo watching.
I get it. They're one and the same. But in my head, they were different people. One had permission, the other didn't.
It was the perfect opportunity for him to come clean.
"Lola?"
I don't answer, and the air thickens.
"Lola, fucking talk to me."
Nothing. I keep all the words locked up tight.
"Goddamn it." He leans over me, and I could kiss him if I wanted to. He's that close.
But I don't move from where I am on the sofa in the bedroom that's bigger than my apartment.
"How are we going to move forward if you act like a childish brat? I want to talk, adult to adult."
"Maybe I don't want to talk to you."
He doesn't fly into a rage like I expect. Instead, he straightens, nods, wipes a hand over his mouth. "Maybe so, but to get through this, we need to talk."
"No."
Because while there's a lot I think I can learn to deal with, a lot I can probably eventually forgive, I can't get past the fact he's Alex.
It's too much of an invasion of trust.
I know he's talking, but I've tuned him out.
Of course, he won't be ignored, and this time when he cages me in, he's far from calm. He's spitting fire.
"If you're going to be like this, Lola, I'll keep you locked up until you come to your senses."
I lift my gaze to him.
He narrows his eyes. "Keep you here in order to make sure you're safe."
"I don't care what the hell you do. Just as long as when this is done, I get to walk away and never see you again."
"Fine by me."
"Good."
But the worst part is I do care, and I hate it.
But even I'm not sure what that means.
"Fuck it, and fuck you." He pushes away from me and heads for the door.
"Enzo?"
He stops and looks at me. "Yes?"
"I do have questions I want answers to, and one day, maybe I'll have calmed down enough to ask them."
His jaw twitches. And then he gives a stiff nod. "And when you're ready to listen, I'm ready to talk."
He walks out the door.
It's clear what this is...
Stalemate.