Chapter Twenty-Six
ENZO
While I've been an idiot in the past, I'm not about to be one now. If I can help it. I'm going to be a father, after all.
In the morning, I drop my pregnant woman off at work, this time with two people to protect her. There are also two people outside watching the building, and the guard who assigns badges and lets people in is one of the men I've pinched from my father.
Of the two keeping guard in the office, one is a woman, and I've made it clear to Lola that anywhere she goes, the woman goes.
She was a little tight-lipped when I let her out of the car, but too bad. She's having my baby. I want them both alive and well.
She's got the same freedom that Lyndall has.
Sort of.
Lyndall doesn't really go anywhere, as most of her friends are at boarding school, and those that go to fancy Manhattan schools are caught up in their work, too.
Or maybe it's Lyndall who is caught up. Who needs to have her muttered excuses so she can then concentrate on her true passion, her violin.
But my point is, if Lyndall wanted to go to something with a friend, it would be with guards.
I don't think she's under threat, but fucked if I know what's going on in that prick Dom's mind. I can't find him to torture it out of him.
And yeah, I'm also self-aware enough to know that me being so iron-fisted with Lola isn't a good look. But that's the thing, her protection and safety come ahead of my happiness.
Because I'm aware now, painfully so, that everything she's said to me—everything about how she forgives me and how she wants to move on—doesn't quite jibe with everything she told me.
The sense of betrayal. The fact I could have and didn't tell her the truth.
But now I have. She knows all the truths.
And the moment I find out anything about Lyndall's parentage...if I still go ahead with looking, I'll tell them both.
But not before.
A "what if" and a "maybe" are not a secret held, and they're not truth.
I sigh, hurrying to the subway to go to Cade's place.
The loft is big, and it's different from my place. But sometimes, I need that change of scenery, and the server we have there now is good to use to do hardcore work when we need to. It throws off the scent from anyone good enough and dedicated enough to unravel the way our VPN bounces.
My phone buzzes as I approach the subway.
Lola
Really, Enzo?
I don't need to ask. I know what she's on about.
Me
It's Sir, and yes, really.
Lola
Not playing. She followed me to the bathroom. Stood outside the door.
There's no one else on this floor!
I grin, I can't help it. As I said, I have a Lola fetish, and Lola being feisty is hot as fuck.
Of course, I like breathing, so I don't say it.
She was...emotional before, during, and after sex. More than I thought she'd be. And I don't want to set off tears. Or more anger. Or whatever.
I'm already a little wary of her declarations of forgiveness. It could be hormones speaking.
When the fuck do pregnancy hormones kick in?
I make a mental note to do some research.
Me
I know this isn't fun. Especially as we're supposedly starting with as clean a slate as we can get it, but, Lola, you have the guards, they'll do what they're told, and you can deal with it and have as much freedom as I can give you.
It's the same as Lyndall gets, BTW. So, let her wait outside, let her wait outside the cubicle if you go to a public bathroom.
She's doing her job, keeping you and the baby safe.
Lola
I can take care of myself.
Me
I'm sure you can, but not like they can. Even I can't do it without them. Or without having you under lock and key in the house.
Lola
Thank you for explaining. Just note my opposition.
And I breathe out the breath I didn't know I was holding.
Me
Noted.
I race down the subway stairs, using the phone to use my metro, and then I jump on just as the train doors start to shut.
It's not that long a ride, though the train's local, so it stops at each stop.
It gives me time to think. To go over the texts in my head.
But I was honest. And I don't think I'm being overwhelming or cloying.
She gets freedom, of a kind. It's the same as a president or a rock star.
Those people live with protection around the clock. Lola can, too.
She's having my baby, and I don't want anyone to hurt her, take her, or force her into situations she'll hate.
Yeah, she hates this, but it's small, nothing, really, in the grand scheme.
And I'm being honest.
I get off the subway and make my way to Cade's.
"Hi, Enzo." Vi lets me in. She hugs me, then grabs her bag. "I was on my way out. Cade is in the study. Bye, Enzo, and bring your girl by, okay?"
She's out the door in her suit, and I shut it behind her.
I take a step and stop.
These two love exhibitionism. I've seen things that make me shudder. So, while pretty Violet was dressed, who the fuck knows what they were doing?
Who knows if Cade is dressed. Maybe she just finished blowing him.
Cade might look like the dependable and standup guy of the two of us, but he's got a deep and wild kink.
So...
"You better fucking be dressed," I shout, going into the kitchen area and pouring myself a drink.
A vodka energy drink mix.
It's early, but I need it.
I'm going to be a fucking father.
What if I screw up?
I want to shout it out, but I'll be cool.
"I'm fucking dressed. Join you in a minute."
Nope. I'll be cool, get down to business, and do some work with Cade. Silas is busy, so it's just us, as per usual. Yeah, I'll play it cool and maybe drop it nonchalantly into the conversation.
Or do I wait until the trimester is done?
I really need to read up on this fucking stuff.
He walks in, holding his laptop as he types. "Sorry, had to finish something."
"Like getting your clothes on?"
"No, you dirtbag. Like something the Ghost is putting out."
"On who?"
He shrugs, puts down his computer, and grabs my drink, nose wrinkling. "A celebrity with a thing for underage girls. And...a little early?"
"Lola's pregnant. I'm going to be a dad."
Well, I guess blurting it out is as fucking good as nonchalance.
Cade just stares at me and puts the drink down. He makes his own, pulls out a chair at the table, and sits heavily. "Holy fuck."
"I don't think the Lord was involved in it."
"So, she's forgiven you?"
"I think so. We're working through it, being honest, you know." Then I frown as I sit as well, dragging my computer from my bag. "She didn't tell me until I found the test in the trash, and then Lyndall took responsibility for it."
"Fuck."
"Yeah. And Luke's fucking lucky Lola confessed. I was going to torture him, feed him his dick, and then feed him to the fish."
"Well, Enzo. As long as you're calm and thoughtful about it all."
I am.
But he's staring at me. He leans forward. "And you fucking believed Lyndall?"
"Well, she said it was hers, and she was pregnant?"
Cade is still staring, his lips pressed together. Then he huffs out air. "And you didn't think, oh, she must be covering for the girl I'm fucking?"
"I'm not fucking your wife," I say, just to be an asshole. "Or whatever piece you have on the side."
"See, that could really piss me the fuck off, even if I know you are just being a jerk."
"Fine, I'll make it clearer. I'm not sleeping with Vi."
"And I don't have a piece on the side. Wouldn't ever."
The conviction guts me.
Not because I ever thought he would, but I never thought of myself as the forever faithful type. The type to only ever be with one other person for the rest of my life.
But I can see it. I see that person as Lola, and when I think of her, and ever since I started flirting with her as Alex, I haven't wanted anyone else. Haven't really thought of sex with anyone else.
Sure, there are hot women like her friend Ruby, but I have no desire to touch her, kiss her, or fuck her.
If I have to fantasize about a woman, that woman is always, always played by Lola.
"I know that. I'm just saying, we're having a kid."
"You putting a ring on that finger?"
"Yes. But baby steps." Because I mean that yes, but will Lola want that?
"It helps to marry her before your baby takes steps."
"Old-fashioned asshole."
He shrugs. "And you're being honest now?"
"Yeah."
"What did she say about Lyndall's parenthood?"
I glare. "We don't know for sure. When I do, and if it's not her mom and Mario, I'll tell them both."
He rubs his eyes under his glasses. "Jesus, Enzo."
"Look, I need to tell Lyndall first. If there's truth to what I'm thinking. But without proof, telling either or both of them is just needless upset. I'm not doing it."
"If you say so."
"I do." I gesture at the computers. "Let's get the fuck on with it, okay?"
And we get to work.
I get home at three, and I know for a fact Lyndall's finished with her classes, and she doesn't have music lessons today.
Usually, when I'm home at this time, the violin strains drift through the house.
But there's nothing.
I pace my study for a few minutes, looking at my phone.
Lola
Just letting you know I'm a-OK. I might stay a little longer in the office with Ruby and your gang of protectors, but they'll take me home soon.
I didn't instigate the message, and I keep looking at it to remind myself it's real, and whether it's meant to be or not, it's a shining light, and it means the world to me.
Fuck, I'm getting old.
Falling apart at the sight of a text.
My fingers itch to text back. But I don't. There's no question there, and I have to let her set her own comfort zones within the perimeters I've given. What I do is text Rich, who is in charge today.
Me
Lola texted she's staying late. Let her know I got the text.
And once more I hold back from a bombardment.
He knows what he's doing.
She might ask to see the text, and I don't want her seeing a million texts to him from me.
This is about earning enough to have that clean slate she craves.
Rich
Will do.
Satisfied, I put my phone down and climb the stairs.