Chapter 20
Gabrielle
“Are you up for it?” Brodie asked as we approached the hardwood planks still laid out in the middle of the yard.
The rental company wouldn’t be by until tomorrow morning to retrieve them.
I looked down at my torn gown. I wanted to cry.
I wanted to go inside and run to my temporary room in Brodie’s house and shut the door, throw myself on the bed and cry. I knew that wouldn’t solve anything.
I hadn’t been raped. Almost, but not. I could hold on to that.
Thank God. Thank Brodie for that. Brodie had come to find me.
Why? Brodie. Of all people. The one guy in the world I didn’t think I could trust. Didn’t want to trust. My face hurt where Jeff had punched me, and I probably needed to put some ice on my lip, but then, Brodie’s mouth was in just as bad of shape as mine. We both needed ice.
We stopped walking just before reaching the wood floor. “There’s no music.” I pointed out, and Brodie shrugged.
“We have music.” He took my hand in his. “Close your eyes and listen.”
I did as he suggested and didn’t hear anything at first. Then, there it was. Crickets chirping, frogs croaking, and a swish of breeze blowing through the tree branches with leaves ruffling against one another around us. Sounds of the night. Beautiful sounds. I smiled and opened my eyes. “Okay.”
He led me onto the floor and took me in his arms. His fingers wrapped around my left hand, his other settling gently against my waist. He held me. So different from the way Jeff had held me a few hours earlier. I followed Brodie’s lead, and we moved our feet to the music of the night.
This was a side of Brodie I hadn’t known existed. A tender side. I decided that I liked it, and suddenly, I didn’t feel so dirty anymore.
Brodie pulled me in a little closer.
I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his chest. He led me around the dance floor, swaying with each step to the beautiful sounds of the night.
I kept my eyes focused on the hardwood floor until Brodie placed his finger under my chin, lifting my face so my eyes met his.
His lips were mere inches from mine. I couldn’t breathe.
His breath was sweet as he whispered close to my cheek, “You’re okay. You’re safe with me.”
And I felt safe.
After changing out of my torn gown, I showered off all traces of Jeff from my body; every spot he had touched me, every spot his lips had pressed against my skin, everywhere, even the places he never had a chance to make contact with before Brodie had pounced upon him.
I shrugged into a t-shirt and cotton sleep shorts, ready for bed.
I had agreed to stay at Brodie’s for the night to help him clean up from the reception tomorrow.
Besides, I didn’t really want to stay in Lena and Jackson’s big new house alone, not after what had almost happened tonight.
I knew Jeff was in jail, but I couldn’t shake what had happened so easily, at least not yet.
I’d been so scared. I hadn’t given myself to anyone, not willingly anyway, and not all the way.
The thought of someone taking me under those conditions sickened me, made me feel weak and vulnerable.
I’d been violated before, but there was never any penetration.
Thomas was always careful never to do that to me.
He’d always said I should save that for when I fell in love.
At the time, I wasn’t sure what I was saving.
It seemed to me he’d already taken everything I had.
Thinking about Jeff only made me angry. Angry at the way I’d let him trick me, angry for allowing myself to be in that situation.
I swore I would never tolerate being in a position where someone touched me without my consent again.
How could I have been so stupid? I knew in my heart I was going to be fine.
I would survive this night, this violation, just like I’d survived those others so many, many—desperately wanted to be forgotten—years ago.
I would never forget though. Wasn’t that why I’d written the book?
A knock on the bedroom door yanked me from my thoughts. I opened it to find Brodie holding a bag of ice in his outstretched hand for me and another pressed against his own mouth.
“You should come out; sit and hold this to your face for a while. I can put on a movie.”
I rubbed my hand gently over the spot where Jeff had punched me.
I took the ice and touched it gently to my mouth.
“Thanks, but I should probably go to sleep.” I turned back toward my bed, leaving him standing in the doorway.
With one knee on the edge of the mattress ready to climb in, I stopped.
Who was I kidding? I was being stupid. There was no way I’d be able to fall asleep, so I stood back up and turned to face him.
“On second thought, I don’t think I could sleep much anyway.
” I followed him to the living room and took one corner of the sofa, tucking my legs up next to me.
“Here, take these.” He held out a bottle of water and two round, red pills.
“What’s this?”
“Ibuprofen. It should help with any swelling, and ease the pain a bit.” Brodie took up the spot at the opposite end of the sofa with the remote in one hand and the bag of ice pressed to his chin in the other. “Any preference?”
“Anything non-violent.”
“Hmmm… that might be tough. There’s violence of some sort in just about everything these days.”
“True. I don’t care. Anything you want, then.”
“Let’s see. How about a comedy? Woody Allen or Mel Brooks?”
I shrugged. They weren’t my favorites, but I was willing to watch anything that might take my mind off what had happened tonight.
Maybe if I got bored with something I’d fall asleep.
Otherwise, I feared I might be awake most of the night.
As Brodie scrolled through countless titles on the screen, the trees blowing in the wind outside the window caught my eye.
I studied them as they swayed, the way they withstood the abuse from the wind was amazing.
I wanted to be like the trees. Able to stand tall the next day after being slammed by something I had no control over; only dropping a few fragments of my self-esteem the way the trees only lost a few of their leaves.
“Wait, I got it.” Brodie smiled and flipped the TV over to the Internet and downloaded Zoolander. Perfect! I thought and curled up into myself, leaning my elbow on the arm of the sofa and my mouth against the cold compress I held in my hand.