Chapter 5
At the sound of her words, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
I’d struggled to stay detached from the experience so I could take her where she wanted to go, but everything about her reactions to my touch had amplified my need for her.
The way she squirmed and tried so hard to maintain control.
The way her body moved into my touch when I slid my fingers over her swollen clit.
Elena was always responsive. It was one of the things I loved about fucking her—aside from the clear rules—I never had to guess how she felt. She showed me, loud and clear. Not having to worry about parsing everything and the risk of getting it wrong meant I could let go as well.
I’d gone through half a dozen BDSM books, trying to understand the basics of spanking and what Elena needed from me.
The information on arousal concordance helped the most with my plan.
Everything had gone the way I intended. Better than I expected.
I’d committed to giving her what she asked for, partly because I was curious too but mostly because she asked.
I hadn’t expected to sink so far into the dominance play myself.
I liked acting like the stern boss for a change—maybe because it was completely out of my character.
Maybe it was because I’d spent so much time as a kid on the wrong side of an authority figure’s disapproval.
It felt good to play the other side for a change.
And I fucking loved the way her skin bloomed for me, angry red fading to a paler color.
The way her cunt responded, so wet I could see it, feel it.
The way her body clenched around my fingers as if she was hungry for me. Aching for me to fill her.
I’d worked so hard to maintain objective control, but after my palm came down for the last time on her gorgeous pink ass, I worried I’d gone too far.
That she’d forgotten to say Uncle or I’d missed her cues.
But her words erased all of that. She begged me to fuck her.
It wasn’t ambiguous, and there wasn’t a thing in the world I wanted more than that.
“Whatever you need. I’ll give you whatever you need.” My thoughts didn’t go beyond meeting her demand, but my voice sounded scratchy. Like it belonged to someone else.
I made quick work of freeing my aching cock and pulled a condom out of my pocket.
Her legs were too close together for me to fit myself between, but she was so wet, it didn’t matter.
I straddled her thighs and notched the head of my cock at her opening.
Her body tightened around the tip in response, and it took everything I had to keep from slamming into her, sheathing myself with her tight body.
I sucked in a breath, forcing myself to slow the fuck down.
Keeping my hand flat, I ran my palm up the center of her back, starting just above her abused ass and ending at the base of her skull.
I cupped the back of her head, tightening my grip on her hair, holding us both in place for a moment.
“Is this what you want?” I rolled my hips, easing into her the tiniest fraction of an inch. “My cock inside your tight little cunt?”
She whimpered in response, a noise I hadn’t heard her make before, and tried to rock back to take me deeper. I tightened my grip on her hair, stilling both of us.
“I’m going to need to hear you say the words, Elena.” Quickly. Dear God. I was dying. Was it possible to die from wanting someone so much?
“Yes. Fuck me. Yes.”
The first yes was enough. By the second, I was working my way inside her, fighting for every inch.
With her legs together and her sex swollen from wanting this, she was so tight; I worried about hurting her.
I didn’t need too. As soon as I eased my grip on her so she could move, she pushed against the desk and thrust back to meet me, taking me all the way inside her.
The combined sound we made was raw. Wild.
It broke something open, shredding the last of my restraint.
I fucked her hard, slamming into her, my hips slapping against her already stinging ass.
She met me thrust for thrust, taking me so deep there was no way I was going to last. I slid my hand between the desk and her body, my fingers finding her slick clit.
I knew how to make Elena come, how she liked to be touched.
Ignoring the edge of the desk pressed into the back of my hand, I put everything I knew about her body to work, pinching her clit and rubbing hard circles over it the way I knew worked for her.
Her whimpers turned into needy cries, and her body pulsed around me as the climax took her. The first squeeze of her cunt on my cock sent me over the edge with her. My balls drew up tight to my body as I pumped into her, emptying myself, claiming her in a way I hadn’t knew I needed.
Iditched the condom, and as soon as I was sure I could move without stumbling, I sat down in my desk chair and eased her onto my lap. She wriggled a bit, and I worried sitting was uncomfortable for her. That hadn’t been my goal with the spanking.
“Is this too much?” I asked, resigning myself to letting her go if it was what she needed.
“No. I just don’t want to mess up your pants.”
“Too late. I’ve done that already. I’ll tip my dry cleaner. A lot.” I wrapped my arms tighter around her, pressing my lips to her hair.
She relaxed into me, letting her head rest, heavy against my chest. We cuddled sometimes after sex.
That part wasn’t new. The connection was nice.
But this was something else entirely. This urge to hold her—to not be away from her for even a minute—and the way she melted into me, small and boneless, was different than what we usually experienced.
I wanted to protect her, curl myself around her and shield her with my body while she took all the time she needed to come back to herself.
I’d take care of her. For someone who’d gotten used to everyone taking care of what I needed, it was a heady feeling to be responsible for someone else’s well-being.
I didn’t think it went as far as the sub drop I’d read about, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
I was in charge, on duty, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it.
It made something inside my chest shift in a way I’d never really felt before.
I cradled her head against my chest and made the chair spin slowly, side-to -side. Not with my normal nervous energy, not exactly. More because the movement seemed to soothe us both.
“That was intense,” she said after a few more minutes of cuddling.
Her body didn’t feel quite so relaxed, but she didn’t bother to raise her head from its spot on my chest, which suited me. It felt so right to hold her; she could keep it there as long as she wanted.
“Too much?” It didn’t seem like things had gone too far, not for me anyway, but I hadn’t been the one bent over the desk with my ass in the air.
“No. You were perfect. Very in character. The clothes were a nice touch.” She slid her hand over my dress shirt, resting her palm against my chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything other than a T-shirt.”
“Sometimes I have to meet investors and clients in person. I’ve been told you shouldn’t wear board shorts for meetings.
I don’t have much in the way of dress clothes, and I don’t dress up more than I have to.
” I didn’t. For some people, dressing up was like putting on armor.
For me, it felt like sliding on a skin that didn’t quite fit.
As a kid, even wearing jeans made me feel like my clothes were attacking me. That hadn’t changed as I grew older.
“You should. It suits you. Get it? Suits?” She giggled as if it was the funniest thing she’d ever said.
I joined her because I couldn’t think of a more appropriate response to holding a giggling woman in my arms, regardless of how bad the pun.
“Not likely.”
“Pity. It’s hot. I’d be helpless against a jacket.”
If it elicited this kind of reaction from Elena, I might be convinced to wear a collared shirt more often, regardless of how itchy it made my brain.
“Pretty great chair, huh?” She didn’t wait for my response, which was probably for the best.
I hadn’t given it much thought beyond being grateful my back didn’t bother me after long programming sessions, but she was right; it was a pretty great chair.
“This is the first time I’ve been in your office. Beyond something with computers, I don’t even know what you do.”
“I guess it’s never come up.” I knew she used design to make people’s lives work better.
She’d done it for me. She’d mentioned the odd detail about projects she was working on when we were together, but we’d never really talked about my work, partly on purpose.
Once I got started, I had a hard time judging when people were genuinely interested or when they were just being polite.
Until the moment they walked away with their eyes glazed over.
“Tell me.” She settled back against my chest as if she knew I’d do what she said.
Not a bad assumption, given the way our relationship worked. Even the spanking bit had been me following her lead.
So I talked. I told her about the 3D protein models and the drugs the scientists were working to create.
I told her about the good parts of AI and the bad and how quickly my field was changing.
When she didn’t move, I kept talking, partly to give my overactive brain something to do and partly because it felt good to tell her.
After a while, I stopped, worried that I’d actually put her to sleep, droning on about excessive energy use and processing needs.
“Is it like the bitcoin thing?” she asked, sitting up a little straighter. “The one where they brought coal plants back online to provide power to mine imaginary currency?”
“It’s a lot like that, but both the good and bad implications are bigger.” That felt like an understatement, but with every moment, she seemed to be coming back to herself. I’d made it this far, presumably without boring her. I wasn’t about to push my luck by over explaining.
“How do you decide what you’re going to work on?” She ran a hand over her hair, smoothing the strands from sex disheveled to the sleek style she usually wore.
“The same way anyone does, I suppose. What sounds like fun, what would do the most good, what will pay the bills.” I hadn’t worried about the last one in a long time.
I spent most of my energy making sure I used my power for good instead of evil.
It sounded silly but as the technology grew, it was getting harder to tell the difference.
“That makes sense.” She glanced from me to the door to the bathroom and back, clearly preparing to make a break for it. “I don’t think there’s a ladylike way to do this.”
“Be bold. I’m going to grab a pair of shorts while you clean up.”
“Oh God. Your pants.” She looked mortified, which was not at all the look I wanted her to have.
“So worth it.” I pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before she climbed off my lap and made a dash for the bathroom.
By the time she came back, smooth, polished, and looking more like herself—just wearing a very short skirt—I’d ditched the pants, dress shirt, and shoes in favor of my regular shorts and T-shirt.
This was the part where we usually kissed goodbye and returned to our normal lives, but I found myself reluctant to end our time together.
“Do you want to stay for takeout?” We’d never eaten together, but I’d never spanked anyone either. It might be a day for firsts.
She tipped her head to the side, her forehead creased as if she was considering. In the end, she shook her head.
“I’d like to, but I can’t.” She crossed the distance between us, sliding effortlessly into my arms. “I really wish I could.”
“Another time.” I pressed my lips to her forehead, holding onto her for a few moments longer than normal. I didn’t want to let her go, and she seemed reluctant to leave.
“I should go.” She tightened her arms around me, holding me close, and then she let go and headed toward the entrance.
I followed, shoving my feet into the loafers I kept by the door. “I’ll walk you out.”
“You don’t have to.”
I knew I didn’t; I’d never done it before. But something about holding her this time, of taking care of her, made me want to keep doing it.
“I want to.”
Standing side by side without touching, we rode the elevator to the parking garage.
Every floor seemed to take us farther away—literally and figuratively—from the emotional thing we’d shared.
By the time we’d reached her car, I’d started to feel the edge of awkwardness between us.
She brushed a quick kiss over my lips, before opening the car door.
“Thanks for everything.”
“It was my pleasure.” I watched her climb into the car and saw a scrap of lace on the passenger seat. Without thinking, I reached across her to snag her panties.
“Give them back!” She tried to grab the black lace, but I shoved them into my pocket.
“No. Maybe this will remind you not to be careless with your things in the future.” I slid a bit of the command I’d used earlier into my voice, but when I met her gaze, I couldn’t maintain it.
“Maybe,” she said, smiling up at me. “If I forget, you can remind me.”
I waited for her to pull out of the garage and then grinned like a man who’d had some of the best sex of his life as I rode the elevator back to my loft.