Chapter 17
Iwoke up in a dark room, sweaty, with my hair stuck to my face and my mouth tasting like ass. It took me a minute to remember where I was; when I did, the mortification returned in full force.
I’d thrown up on Jake and then apparently fallen asleep in his bed.
Oh God, what else had I done? I never drank to excess, even in college because I didn’t want to lose control of myself.
And I sure as hell didn’t want to throw up in public.
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, willing my memories away.
When that didn’t work, I glanced to the opposite side of the bed and realized I wasn’t alone.
Jake slept, sprawled in an X across the bed.
He’d tossed off the duvet, leaving him bare except for his boxers and sporting some impressive morning wood.
I paused for a second to enjoy the view until the idea of him waking up before I had a chance to brush my teeth and try to fix my hair drove me to my feet.
I managed to stand for a few seconds, swaying on my feet. My head pounded, my vision went fuzzy around the edges, and I collapsed back onto the mattress.
“Hey, wait a minute,” Jake called in a sleep-roughened voice.
I wanted to escape to the bathroom before I had to turn and face him, but even if I managed to get to my feet…I couldn’t stay vertical.
“Let me help you.” He hurried around the bed to wrap an arm around my waist and help me to stand.
Tucked in against his bare chest with his erection pressing against my hip should have felt a little familiar.
But when I breathed in the green tea scent of him, I got a whiff of stale sweat that could only be coming from me.
I let him lead me to the bathroom without raising my head to meet his gaze.
The last thing I wanted to do was look at the beautiful man—or his feet, dammit—while I felt like and was pretty sure I looked like, the walking dead.
I let him steer me to the bathroom, closing the door on him as soon as I was inside.
It was worse than I’d imagined. My normally light-brown hair lay plastered in greasy strips on my head, and the dark circles, a combination of mascara and whatever made skin shadowed, had set up camp under my eyes.
With my huge charcoal-smudged eyes, pale skin with unhealthy gray undertones, and Jake’s giant T-shirt hanging off my shoulders and down to my thighs, I looked more homeless urchin than sexy play partner.
There was precious little I could do about it, but I could start by getting the horrid taste out of my mouth.
I found the toothbrush Jake gave me in the holder beside his sink and brushed until I couldn’t taste anything but mint.
By the time I used the facilities, I felt closer to human, but I still didn’t look it.
A basket of washcloths and hand towels sat beside the seafoam glass vessel sink.
It was the only color in the room, which felt clean and bright and like the ocean at the same time.
I let the water run until it turned hot.
Dipping the edge of the terry cloth in the stream, I dabbed at the circles, trying to get off the makeup smudges.
It didn’t help. I needed a long, hot shower, but just brushing my teeth and taking care of the basics left me feeling wrung out.
I didn’t trust myself to stand that long in the shower.
I sat on the closed toilet lid, considering my options.
Maybe I could take a super quick shower, just to rinse the sweat off my body and out of my hair.
Maybe I could wait until Jake wasn’t paying attention so he wouldn’t see what I looked like and sneak out.
I could call Alex to pick me up. She wouldn’t judge me for looking like a zombie.
None of which seemed fair to do to the man whose feet I’d thrown up on and who’d taken care of me all night.
I didn’t remember everything, but I thought I remembered talking to a doctor. What kind of doctors still made house calls? I’d have to pay Jake whatever it cost him for that. There’d been Gatorade he’d held so I could take little sips, and—oh God—a trash can he’d held for me to vomit into.
Maybe I could just live in the bathroom now. It was a lovely room. I could sleep in the freestanding tub. I’d have to figure something out about food. My stomach churned at the thought of ever eating again, so maybe that wasn’t such a pressing issue.
“Everything okay in there?” Jake called, bringing me back to the embarrassing present.
“I’m just going to take a quick shower, if you don’t mind.” I’d have to lean against the tile wall for support and cut things short if the lightheadedness got worse. But there was no way I was leaving the bathroom looking and smelling like I did now.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Hold on. I’m coming in.”
The doorknob started to turn, and I braced myself for what I was sure had to be a look of disgust on his face at my appearance.
When he saw me sitting on the closed toilet seat, he tipped his head to the side and smiled. “You poor baby.”
He closed the distance between us and reached out to cup my face. I wanted to turn away from his gaze, but I couldn’t. Nothing in his expression said he was judging me or my appearance. I only saw concern.
“I don’t want to risk you slipping and falling.”
“I’ll be fine.” I could hope anyway.
His expression made it clear he didn’t agree. He probably pictured me falling and cracking my skull open, adding bleeding all over his tile to my list of embarrassments
“If you really want to shower instead of just getting back into bed, I’m going in with you.”
“You don’t have to do that.” I tried to come up with a good reason to put him off, but given all the things we’d done together, modesty didn’t make any sense. I couldn’t think of anything else.
He didn’t bother to respond. He simply turned on the shower. Reaching into the small cabinet beside the sink, he pulled out two huge white towels and set them on the counter. Taking my hand, he tugged me gently to my feet.
“Arms up,” he said gripping the edge of his T-shirt and guiding it up my body and over my head.
My nipples tightened in the cool air, and I watched his gaze catch on my breasts for a second before he bent down and stripped off my panties.
He shed his boxers and caught my hand in his.
If I’d been feeling a fraction closer to human, I’d have reached out to touch him.
Even in my mortified, slightly delirious state, I could appreciate his broad chest and the muscles carved into his abs.
Keeping hold of my hand, he opened the glass shower door and led me inside.
With multiple jets, including a rain shower in the center, the spacious tile enclosure had more than enough room for both of us, but Jake kept his hands on me.
He guided me under the warm water, holding my upper arms as I tipped my head back under the spray.
When I righted myself, the world shifted and I swayed slightly.
Jake held me steady, pausing until I got my bearings again.
“Okay?” he asked, concern etched in his expression.
“I’m all right.” The water washing over me warmed me, banishing the chill.
Keeping a hand on my arm, he pressed his body against mine as he reached for a bottle of shampoo.
Despite the feel of his body shadowing mine, his skin against mine, there was nothing sexual in his touch.
Instead of getting me off, he was taking care of me.
I didn’t know where to put that in my head, and I was too tired and wobbly to try to find out.
Instead, I stood still and waited while he squirted shampoo into his palm and the shower filled with the indescribable scent of Jake.
The one I’d never been able to figure out.
I glanced at the bottle but couldn’t focus enough to read the label.
He brought his hands to the crown of my head and started to work the lather through my hair. His strong fingers massaged my scalp, and I bit back a groan of pleasure.
“Lean your head back, baby.” He cradled my head as I tipped back under the water.
It wasn’t the first time Jake had used an endearment like baby or sweetheart with me, but it was usually when we were in the middle of doing deliciously filthy things together.
This was a completely different experience.
He was tender and careful as he rinsed the soap from my hair, protecting my eyes with his hand.
I stood still, frozen partly because I didn’t trust myself to move too quickly without wanting to pass out again and partly because of his tenderness.
Jake ran his soapy hands over my body, without a hint of heat in his touch. When he decided we were clean enough, he turned off the shower and helped me step out into the steam-filled bathroom. He stood, dripping on the floor, while he dried me off and wrapped me in a towel.
“Stand here for just a second,” he said, making quick work of drying off himself and tying a towel around his narrow hips.
Rivulets of water still trailed down his back and his hair hung tousled and wet around his head. I reached out a finger to trace a drip running over his shoulder, but my hand shook as the chill passed through me again. I was freezing in the warm room.
“Let’s get you back in under the covers.” Keeping a steadying hand on me, he snagged a T-shirt from the drawer and helped me pull it over my head.
He settled me against the headboard and pulled the duvet up to my chin before towel drying my hair.
I didn’t have many memories of my grandmother.
She died when I was still in elementary school, but the ones I had were good ones.
I’d go to stay with her when I was little and I remembered her giving me a bath at night, wrapping me in a towel and holding me close.
I’d felt safe and cherished. Jake’s care made me feel the same.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” I said as he laid a fresh towel under my damp head.