Chapter 29
“Hey, Chickpea, what’s up?” I sank onto the sofa as my sister made a face on the tablet.
“You know I hate it when you call me that.” The nickname came from an unfortunate homemade hummus phase she’d gone through in high school.
She assumed recipes were just suggestions and had made some questionable substitutions for the garbanzo beans, including one with peanuts that ended up being just like the organic peanut butter the whole foods market sold, except according to Mom, it cost twice as much to make and did irreparable damage to the food processor.
“Which is why I remain so determined to use it.”
She didn’t bother to try to hide her eyeroll but she smiled too. “Not much. Busy and tired, but everything’s good.”
“Great. Scott and the kids?” Brick pressed himself against my leg and gazed longingly at the couch.
I should say no, the same way I should have taken him back to the shelter after our run, but I wasn’t going to do either.
I patted the spot next to me, and he leapt onto the cushion, turning himself around in a circle before collapsing in a ball.
He stretched his neck out to put his head on my thigh, and I stroked the soft fur behind his ears.
“Scott’s fine. The kids, on the other hand, really are gremlins. You won’t believe what they did while I was at the zoning meeting.”
My sister and her husband were high school sweethearts. They married young and had three boys in rapid succession. It made the kids close enough in age to work as a team for anything nefarious they decided to get into.
“I can’t imagine.” I stroked Brick’s head, grinning to myself as I waited for her to recount the latest shenanigans.
“They set up a pulley system using the Erector set and climbing ropes you got them for Christmas last year—thanks a lot for that, by the way,” she said, not sounding grateful at all.
I sent my nephews raw materials under the guise of science sets and how-to books about building things like trebuchets from chopsticks and rubber bands with the assumption that the trouble they gave my sister made up for all the times she forced me to act as a mannequin for her fashion design dreams. Seeing straight pins still spiked my blood pressure.
“Cool. They didn’t hang anyone, did they?” I considered the possibilities.
“No, thank God. They sprayed furniture polish on the floor and hooked up a harness to slide the dog back and forth from one end of the room to the other.”
“Well of course. You’d need the polish to reduce friction.” I managed to choke back a laugh but not before Amanda heard it.
“It’s not funny. Do you know how hard it is to get furniture polish off floors?
Scott almost killed himself going to the kitchen that night.
He forgot it was there, hit the slick patch, and did his own Risky Business impersonation.
” She paused, her hand over her mouth, stifling a chuckle. “Okay, maybe it’s a little funny.”
This time I did laugh. Brick lifted his head and let out a low woof, eager to get in on the action.
“What is that?” my sister asked, going on alert. “Was that a dog? Did you get a dog?”
“I did. Hold on a second.” I flipped the camera to show Brick sprawled against my leg, head up and tongue lolling.
“What a sweetie! What’s his name? Boy or girl? Such a sweet baby!” She cooed into the tablet, her voice rising in pitch.
Brick tipped his head to the side, listening.
“He’s a he, and his name is Brick. I adopted him from Crescent City Canines. He was a long-term resident.”
“Poor baby! But he’s got a good home now and no shortage of treats, I imagine.”
I flipped the screen again so she could see the wide assortment of dog toys covering the floor. As soon as Brick got more comfortable with me, I’d take him to the pet store to pick out what he wanted, but in the meantime, I’d had a variety of chewies and squeaky toys delivered.
“You’re going to be spoiled rotten, aren’t you, puppy?”
Brick stared at the tablet, ears pricked and his tongue in his mouth for a change, looking like the good dog he wanted to be.
“That’s the goal.” I ruffled his ears, stroking the soft fur on top of his head, and he relaxed back down against my leg. “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. He was at the shelter for over a year.”
My sister’s eyes went wide, and she gasped.
“I took him out for a run, and I couldn’t bring myself to take him back to the kennel. He wants to be a good dog. He just has a lot of energy. It made it easy for him to get overlooked because most people didn’t take the time to get to know him.”
“I always wondered why you didn’t get a dog. You and Turing were so close growing up.”
“Mom took care of Turn. I was worried I’d get distracted and forget.” When I said the words out loud, the idea sounded silly. There was no way even I’d get so caught up in my thoughts I’d forget about Brick, and he wouldn’t let me if I did.
“Unlikely,” said Amanda, shaking her head. “What changed your mind? Aside from that adorable, irresistible face. Such a sweet puppy.”
Brick’s gaze shifted from me to my sister’s cooing coming from the tablet, and I swear he did the closest thing dogs could do to smiling.
I thought about how taking care of Elena when she got sick had shifted my perspective and how to explain that to my sister without her making that squealing noise about a relationship I was pretty sure didn’t exist.
“I helped a friend out, and it convinced me I could handle having another living thing depend on me.” I stroked the dog’s head, and he let out a contented sigh. “That and I couldn’t bear to take him back to the kennel. The lady who runs the place is great, but it’s still a kennel.”
“Well. Whatever the reason, I’m glad you found each other. This friend isn’t a woman, is she?” She watched me with the look I’d seen her use on my nephews when she was trying to elicit a confession, and I fought the urge to squirm.
And then I realized my sister might be able to help me sort out my reaction to Elena, the benefit, and the tailor.
At the very least, she could let me know if she thought I was being too sensitive.
I didn’t know if it would change what I did.
The dog helped—a lot—but I still felt pretty bruised, whether it was justified or not.
I was also old enough to know that just because I wanted something, didn’t mean it was a good idea or that it would work out even if it was.
The world was filled with variables, only a fraction of which I could control.
“Good Lord. I can see you thinking from here. What’s going on with you? Spill it.”
“The friend I helped out.” I watched her face as her gaze zeroed in on me with laser precision. “We’ve kind of been dating.”
“I knew it! I knew there was something going on. That’s fantastic, Jake. A dog and a girlfriend. It’s like Christmas has come early!”
Her face lit up, and I couldn’t help but smile in return, even as I tried to figure out how to temper her expectations. I also didn’t love that things that were perfectly normal for other people made my sister practically gleeful when she thought they happened to me.
“I said we were dating. She’s not my girlfriend.” I really wanted to add yet, but I still couldn’t get my head past the idea that we were too different to make things work. She and Essex looked perfect together. I’d never be able to fit that seamlessly into Elena’s life.
“Okay,” she said, shifting on the couch, her face softening. “Do you want to tell me about her?”
I told her everything except the negotiated sex part.
I told her about seeing each other casually and how that started to get more frequent.
I told her about Elena’s job and how she helped me with design stuff at my place.
When I told her about Elena staying with me when she got sick, my sister started to smile again.
“It sounds like you really like this woman. What’s holding you back?”
“We’re so different. She’s poised and beautiful.
She always knows exactly the right thing to say and do.
There isn’t anything awkward about her. Awkward is my middle name.
We don’t fit.” It sounded whiny and weak when I said it, but there it was—the truth of what was holding me back.
Essex was just a visual representation of what I already knew to be true.
Elena and I didn’t fit in the same set. We were incongruous.
“You’re middle name is Andrew, and the rest is bullshit too.
You are wicked smart, incredibly competent at what you do—half of which I honestly still don’t understand, but I know your work makes people’s lives better—and you’re kind and generous.
So the social things might not come easy to you, and you don’t always see the details that matter to other people.
It’s because your brain is busy with different important things. ”
I might have been angry if anyone else had minimized the ordinary things I struggled with the way she did, but Amanda knew me better than almost anyone.
She knew what school had been like for me and how awkward I’d been with her friends when she tried to include me.
How lonely I’d been before I figured out how to build a small community for myself. It’s why I always valued her advice.
“She invited me to a party to meet her friends.”
My sister arched a brow and started to smile.
“She sent me the address of her tailor,” I added before she got carried away. “And then followed up to make sure I went. Presumably because I can’t be trusted to dress appropriately to go out in public.”
“Okay, if she’s really not your girlfriend, that might be a little much.” I saw the crease form between her brows and knew she was trying to find the best spin. “I mean, Scott barely picks any of his own clothes anymore, but that didn’t start until after we were engaged.”