Chapter Fourteen #4
Allaston knew that would be his answer but she was not discouraged.
“Then mayhap you will at least think on what I have said when the time comes,” she said quietly.
“Mayhap you will think of mercy the next time you are faced with a frightened woman whose only crime was living in a castle you want as your own. Throw her in the vault, or do whatever you have to do in order to keep her from your men, but I would pray that whatever comes, you consider showing mercy in all things. I… I want to be very fond of you, Bretton. Mayhap even love you. Please give me a reason to.”
Bretton refused to look at her, as he was in the process of removing his mail and tunic, thinking to use some of that sweet-scented water on his dirty, weary body.
More than that, he thought that he needed some time to think on all of this.
There had been a great many things said over the past several minutes.
He needed time to digest it all. He was, at the moment, overwhelmed by everything.
He wasn’t accustomed to such personal conversations.
Give me a reason to love you. He just couldn’t bring himself to speak on it.
The mere thought made him feel wildly uncomfortable and wildly joyful.
Since he couldn’t adequately respond, it was best not to until he could.
“The room I rented is directly across the corridor,” he told her, ignoring her last statement altogether. “You may go to bed. I will be there shortly. If you run into any hazardous situations in the three steps it takes to cross the corridor, then scream. I will come.”
Allaston watched him as he peeled off his tunic, revealing a magnificently scarred and sculpted chest. She was beginning to feel disappointment that he hadn’t responded to her statement regarding mercy and love, but seeing his bare flesh quickly diverted her attention.
Having never really seen a naked man under such intimate circumstances, her cheeks immediately flushed red and she averted her gaze.
But she wasn’t embarrassed enough that she didn’t sneak a couple of glances before quitting the bathing room.
He was rather delicious to look at and the sight set her heart to racing.
It didn’t take much imagination to think of his flesh against hers, something completely foreign to her but utterly titillating.
She was so caught up in stealing glances of his naked skin that she smacked into the door as she went to open it.
Startled, she grasped the latch and threw open the door.
“I will bid you a good sleep, then,” she said, trying to cover up her embarrassment.
Bretton was running a rag along the back of his neck. “Why?” he asked. “I will be with you in a moment.”
Allaston didn’t reply. She was too busy trying to get away from the sight of all that naked flesh.
Once inside the small but comfortable chamber across the hall, she noticed that someone had put food on the small table near the very warm hearth, and she delved into the bread and cheese hungrily.
She even took a piece of cheese to bed with her, eating it lying in bed as she thought of her conversation with de Llion.
There wasn’t much to think about, really.
The conversation had been circular, as she had mentioned, rolling over the same subjects again and again, only now there was the added element of a marriage between them.
She could only pray that she could eventually break de Llion down of his hatred against her father.
Perhaps if she could make him happy, if she could fill those big holes inside of him that drove the man to do what he did, then maybe he would be willing to forget about de Velt.
Perhaps she could fill his mind, and his heart, with something better. It was all she could truly hope for.
I am not sure I can let go of what I have become.
His words kept rolling over in her mind but she pushed them aside.
She wouldn’t dwell on them, not tonight.
Finishing her cheese, she said her prayers and rolled over, falling asleep almost immediately.
Exhaustion and a full belly saw to it. She was sleeping so soundly that she didn’t hear Bretton enter the room a short time later.
Noticing Allaston was asleep, he wasn’t really surprised.
He was almost relieved. He just didn’t have the energy to continue their conversation.
Therefore, he finished the food that was left on the table and lay down on the floor next to the tiny bed.
It wasn’t where he wanted to be but he suspected she would not take his presence on the mattress next to her very well, undoubtedly leading into more of an exhausting conversation and a restless night.
And he very much wanted to rest and to think about what had been said.
For him, there was so much more at stake, things she would never understand.
It was much more than showing mercy. It was trying to change the unchangeable.
Did he want to do as she asked? He did. Whether or not he could was another matter altogether.
Her hand was hanging over the side of the bed, right over his head.
Reaching up, he stole a secret touch of her soft flesh, as light as butterfly wings, as he thought on the things she had said to him.
Give me a reason to love you. He wanted to.
With God as his witness he did. But he wasn’t sure he could.
The entire ride back to Cloryn the next day was completed in brooding silence.