Chapter Fourteen #3
Damn. Why was the universe so cruel? Why did he have to have such feelings for her? A woman who could never be his match.
Because love was a cruel and beastly mistress.
His parents, Rebecca and, hell, almost everyone he knew had suffered because of love and lust and attraction. Although he didn’t exactly feel love for Miss Granger, did he? He couldn’t. He hardly knew her.
‘Well, there we have it,’ he replied with a forced chuckle, desperate to move past the emotion clogging his throat. ‘I suppose since you are all here, you can chime in with your thoughts as well. Even you, Nicholas.’
‘You need more biscuits and cakes, Uncle. Everything else doesn’t matter to me.’ Nicholas stood, biting into a biscuit from the tiered tray of treats.
‘So much for the support from the only other male in the room,’ Lucas teased as he settled on the sofa pretending everything would be fine.
Lucas couldn’t remember a more pleasant afternoon.
Spending time with Diana, Nicholas, Miss Granger and even Lady Buchanan had been…
enjoyable. No one could have been more surprised than him.
Miss Granger had promised to update their calendar of events and even left him an assignment of sorts before departing.
He stared down upon it now, moving the pieces of parchment around and then back again into numerical order.
What if none of these potential matches wished to go to the gardens with him on Friday?
What if none of them wished to have anything to do with him once they saw him without his mask? His pulse picked up speed.
One didn’t shed the title of the Beast of Barnett House overnight, no matter what Miss Granger believed. Nor could he shed the doubt that Rebecca’s rejection of him had generated; it was sewn into the fabric of who he was.
That was the greater worry, wasn’t it? These women might have been interested in Lord Worthing with his scars covered at the masquerade ball, but him without the mask?
He wasn’t so sure. He lacked the confidence of the ladies this afternoon.
They swore he would have to fend off hordes of interested young women at Vauxhall Gardens.
He scoffed. Perhaps the old Lucas could remember such a time, but now?
Doubtful.
His throat dried.
He stared at the numbered pieces of paper on the floor before him where he sat in his art studio. Each candidate had been selected by Miss Granger and written out in a beautiful flourishing script.
Candidate #1: Miss Charlotte Grey
24, family of breeding, no dowry
Interests: horses, singing and embroidery
Candidate #2: Miss Isabella Martindale
23, family of breeding, a small dowry
Interests: pianoforte, poetry and fashion
Candidate #3: Mrs Louisa Chambers
28, widowed, left with little after her late husband’s debts
Interests: art, opera and reading
While Miss Grey and Miss Martindale might be the more obvious choices, Lucas held more interest in Mrs Chambers, or perhaps it was more sympathy than anything else.
He remembered the stories of her late husband’s financial recklessness, her family’s ruin and her rather harried escape with little left to claim, other than the title of baroness.
It seemed she was eager to be rid of her association with the name and wished to remarry, despite it being only a year after her late husband’s passing.
While the other two ladies were eager and bubbly, Mrs Chambers had been more keen to listen to him, and there was a sadness to her that Lucas understood.
Perhaps they would appreciate each other?
He frowned. Or perhaps it was not good for them to be so similar?
All the women were attractive in their own way, but what made one better wife material than another?
He looked at the clock. He needed to decide within the hour if he was to complete his assigned task in a timely manner.
He had been charged with sending an invitation along with flowers to one of them, asking her to attend an outing to Vauxhall Gardens with him on Friday, the last day it would be open for the season.
He stared at the pieces of parchment and felt totally inept at the prospect of this relatively straightforward task. He yanked the bell pull for Denton.
When his manservant entered, Lucas waved him over. ‘Pick one,’ he ordered.
‘My lord?’ Denton asked, staring down at the floor.
‘I am charged with selecting one of these three women I barely know to join me at Vauxhall Gardens this Friday evening. You have a keen eye and you know me better than anyone else. Choose. Please. I cannot, and I will go mad if I sit here another half hour staring at their names.’ He stood and paced the room.
Denton bent down and studied the names and the accompanying information. Then, he stood and said, ‘Miss Charlotte Grey.’ He put his hands behind his back. ‘Anything else, my lord?’
Lucas chuckled. ‘How did you pick so quickly?’
‘She has no dowry and is young. She will be amenable and eager to wed, so she seems the best match until you face what your heart truly wants.’
Lucas stilled. ‘What do you mean, what my heart truly wants?’
‘Permission to speak freely, my lord?’ Denton asked.
‘Are you not already?’ Lucas scoffed, irritated by the turn this conversation had taken.
‘Miss Granger, my lord.’
Lucas’s blood cooled despite the anger brewing in him. ‘I do not want Miss Granger, Denton,’ he argued.
Denton just blinked back at him, unaffected by Lucas’s rather loud protest.
‘Anything else, my lord?’ he asked.
Lucas ran a hand through his hair. ‘Draft an invitation to Miss Grey. Send some flowers to her address with the invitation this evening.’
‘Any particular type of flowers, my lord?’
Lucas met his gaze, hungry for a fight. ‘Whatever the florist recommends. Evidently, I don’t know what I want.’
Denton nodded and left, not responding to the barb Lucas had flung his way, which disappointed him.
He needed to direct his anger at someone, but he also needed them to take the bait.
He didn’t want Miss Granger. And even if he did, he damn well couldn’t have her.
She was his matchmaker. And even if he could…
even if he could…his heart slowed to the harsh realization in his chest, she would leave him once she realised what he already knew.
That he would never be enough for her, just like Rebecca had said.
And he couldn’t allow himself to love someone who would reject him and leave him…again.