Chapter 17
THE DEVIL MAY CARE
MURMUR LEANED BACK IN HIS CHAIR, WATCHING THE array of emotions flitting across Suyin’s face. There was confusion, shock, denial, and finally, some kind of resentment, as though she were angry with him for daring to suggest that her father was a demon.
Strangely, he didn’t mind being the target of her indignation.
He was the first to admit he didn’t like humans. Even half humans. He didn’t like demons either. He didn’t like anyone. But Suyin was exceptional.
Her company was tolerable. Enjoyable, even. Her intelligence was refreshing. And her body, slender, lithe, graceful—
He quickly buried the arousal that stirred his blood as soon as he recalled the sight of her pinned beneath him. His body was dead. He’d made that sacrifice long ago. It had been a suitable exchange to master his practice. He’d accepted it.
Well, it’s obviously not dead anymore, is it?
It has to be. If it wasn’t, he didn’t know what that meant for him. It had to have been a one-time thing. Nothing had changed. Maybe he’d imagined it.
Denial hinders your progress and rots your mind. Accept the inevitable. The witch has roused your desire, and you should have her. Sate yourself in her. Take her again and again until you’ve fed this urge.
Be silent. He shook himself and focused back on Suyin, still standing beside his chair.
“My father—No.” Her head was down, her gaze fixed on the open grimoire on the table. “It can’t be. He wasn’t—His name was Samuel, not Gamigin, and—”
“Demons often use fake names on Earth when they’re trying to blend in. And Gamigin’s other name was Samigina. Look it up. Samuel seems like a reasonable substitute.”
Her gaze shot to his, eyes wide.
“Did you ever meet him?” Murmur asked, genuinely curious. Much of Gamigin’s life was a mystery to him.
“Technically yes, but he died only a few months after I was born, so I don’t remember him.”
“And what did your mother tell you about him?”
“I—Almost nothing.” Suyin frowned. “But she said he was passionate about demonology, not that he was an actual demon.”
“Well, she lied.”
“Why would she do that?” She searched Murmur’s eyes almost desperately, like she was still hoping for him to spring up and announce this had all been a trick.
“I don’t know.” He softened his tone. Seeing her in distress made him uncomfortable.
He much preferred her hard shell and sharp edges.
“If I had to guess, I would say for your own safety. She likely believed that you, and your father’s legacy, would be safest if you believed yourself simply to be a blood-born witch.
Then you wouldn’t go searching for hints of your father’s past and accidentally expose yourself. ”
“But—” She sputtered. “But I’m not aging!”
“You’re immortal. Of course you’re not aging.”
Her eyes bugged. “I’ve been stressing about this for years. I thought I had some kind of super-charged witch ability that I had no control over, for fuck’s sake. She could have prepared me!”
“As far as I know, you’re the only Cambion in existence right now. She may not have known.”
“The only what?”
“Cambion. A demon-human hybrid. Much like a Nephilim—an angel-human hybrid—you’re immortal, you have special abilities, and your blood has powerful magical properties.
Hence its usefulness in my spell. It was your father who gave me the idea to use it, actually.
He has a whole section of his book dedicated to studying a Cambion’s physiology and the magical properties of their blood.
Another reason your mother may have kept you a secret. ”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’m sure your parents cared about their daughter, and the last thing they wanted was a demon like me hunting you down to use your blood in a spell.
” Murmur smiled without remorse. “So by keeping the truth hidden, even from you, it assured no one ever learned of you. I only did from a vision. Lucky me.”
She ran a hand through her hair. “This is too much to process. I’m not even sure I believe you.”
“The truth is not dependent upon your belief in it.”
“If it is the truth, then what happened to him? My mother told me he died of an illness. But if he was a demon, there’s no way that’s true.”
“It’s not. It was Lucifer. As I told you, the High King seeks out demons he believes to have evolved so he can kill them and claim their souls for his power source.”
Her hand rose to her mouth. “He was killed?”
“Gamigin broke the rules by escaping Hell and living as a human on Earth, so he was free game for Lucifer to eliminate without consequence. Many have tried to do the same, and all have failed. Then Belial and his so-called brothers came along. Somehow, they managed to persuade Heaven to allow them to live freely on Earth. But regardless of whether the rules have been changed, Lucifer will still kill them if he has the chance.”
But Suyin seemed to barely be listening. “You’re saying my father’s—Gamigin’s soul is trapped right now. By Lucifer.”
“Yes.”
“He’s stuck in a horrible prison of endless suffering, like in your vision?”
“Correct.”
“And if your spell succeeds, he’ll be free? So he can go wherever he deserves to spend the afterlife?”
“Also correct.”
“With … my mother’s soul, maybe.”
“Perhaps, yes.”
To his vast surprise, Suyin’s eyes filled with tears.
Murmur blinked at the sight. He’d done all manner of things to her—isolation, starvation, threats, terrorizing her with his souls—and never once had she shed a single tear. But now, at the mention of her dead parents, her eyes filled with emotion.
She turned around and leaned her back against the desk beside him, dropping her head into her hands. Her hair fell over her face, and she stayed like that, silent and unmoving, for long enough that Murmur began to feel mild concern.
“Suyin,” he said gently. “As fascinating as the sight of your mental breakdown is, might I suggest you speed up the process a little? I’m rather bored.”
Her head snapped up, and she pinned him with a furious glare. “You’re kidding me, right? You just dropped this bomb on me, told me that my entire life is a lie, and you’re bored by my emotional reaction? Fuck you.”
He nodded with approval. This mood was much better. He preferred her anger to watching her shut down.
“You’re an asshole.”
“Yes. Are we done now?”
She pushed off the desk and seemed to shake the remnants of shock from herself. A strange sense of pride filled him. She kept surprising him, and he kept liking it.
He didn’t regret telling her his secrets either. He wasn’t entirely sure why. It served no purpose to him. If anything, it hindered his progress, wasting the time it took to answer her questions.
His death vision was drawing closer by the hour, but all of a sudden, he was in no rush to get back to work.
Part of it was simply because it felt good to finally explain the inner workings of his mind to another.
He’d never revealed his plan to anyone, and speaking of it for the first time brought a certain clarity to his unstable thoughts.
Even the ever-present screams of the souls in his head had lessened in intensity.
Another part was that he liked how Suyin’s mind worked. She reminded him of himself long ago, before the tormented souls and visions of the future had whittled away the edges of his sanity.
She was a distraction he didn’t need … but perhaps one he wanted.
If his plan failed, he would die. He supposed that would cause anyone to behave a little recklessly. As long as it didn’t completely derail his progress, he decided there was nothing wrong with enjoying himself a little. He’d certainly spent enough time being miserable and alone in his lair.
He smacked a palm on the desk suddenly. “We’ll cast the spell tomorrow. I’ll finish repainting the lines with Raphael’s blood and then—”
“Raphael?” Her eyes widened. “The Raphael? The archangel?”
His mouth twisted. He hadn’t meant to let that slip. The last thing he needed was Suyin trying to liberate his valuable blood source. Then he’d have to punish her, and he didn’t feel like doing that.
A distraction was the best way to make her forget about it. Luckily, he knew just the thing.
“I have several more of your father’s grimoires,” he said. “If you want to learn more about him, you’re welcome to look at them while I finish. I don’t need you today.”
His plan worked, and her eyes widened again. “He wrote more than one?”
“Yes. But this one”—he tapped the open book before him—“is by far his greatest achievement. And the only one that discusses the existence of Cambions.”
“Can you …” Her gaze darted away and then traveled back to his.
She seemed to be gathering her courage. “When you’ve finished your work for today, can we go through The Book of Gamigin together?
I’ve read it a hundred times, and I never got a single iota of the information you just told me about it.
I want to read it again and finally understand it. ”
He pursed his lips. Wasting more time. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t.
She’ll be gone soon, and you’ll be all alone again. Enjoy her while she’s here.
Stupid impulsive inner voice. He could feel himself caving.
Suyin’s efforts to persuade him weren’t helping either. “If your spell fails or if you somehow can’t stop your vision from happening, shouldn’t someone be left alive besides Lucifer who knows all these secrets?”
He scowled. “You’re trying to manipulate me again.”
She shrugged unashamedly. “I’m just saying …”
He considered her point. If he failed at changing his vision, everything he’d learned from Gamigin’s book would die with him. Lucifer would continue imprisoning demon souls.
The consciousness of Hell was changing, and Murmur had theorized that more demons would be developing souls than ever before. There would either be a great shift, or Lucifer would dominate, becoming more powerful than ever, and things would remain how they had always been.