Chapter 21
HADRIEN
Ishouldn’t have let her go.
It had been three days since she’d left, and although I’d told myself that my life would return to the way it had been before she stepped into Valgarde, that wasn’t true.
As selfish as it was, now I had nothing to look forward to as I counted down the hours while I rested in stone atop Valgarde.
No joy when she walked out into the sunshine and looked up and waved at me.
No watching over her as she tended to plants in the garden.
No listening to her humming songs as she worked.
The silence around Valgarde amplified her absence.
If I listened hard enough, I could almost make myself believe I heard her humming in the distance, quietly masked by the breeze ruffling leaves.
Sure, Victor and Genevieve came out at times and we interacted in the evenings, but they weren’t her.
Lilia was gone and I knew it was the right thing for her.
Forcing her to stay here while she missed her family would have been inexcusable, especially after seeing her cry over them.
I couldn’t bear to see her unhappy, but that didn’t mean I was happy about her leaving.
Not when every particle of me longed for her.
More regret added to the boulder of weight I carried with me.
But this one pierced much deeper, amplifying my loss.
Gods of Stone, I missed her.
How many times had I replayed each moment we’d spent together during the short time she was here?
From the wariness of each other the first time we’d walked out to the wards, to the electrifying sensation when we first held hands, to the incredible elation when our magic intertwined, creating something—extraordinary.
And our first kiss…
That was the most painful memory because it triggered an avalanche of feelings when I remembered the softness of her skin, the scent of her on my pillow, the taste of her on my tongue. And when I buried myself in her warm, tight, welcoming body…
I replayed each moment where we’d connected while locked in stone, a tormented gargoyle, desperately aching for his partner.
His mate.
My mate.
Although that concept was one I thought far beyond me, one that didn’t fit the life of a former soldier, it had settled into my being with more weight and certainty each day. Despite all our differences, Lilia was the one for me. The only one.
But I’d let her go and she’d gone back to her life, likely already forgetting the time she’d spent here at Valgarde.
Forgetting me.
The sunlight descended agonizingly slow that evening as every part of me inched to break out. When it finally crept beyond the horizon, I burst from my stone cage with an agonized howl. I unfurled my wings as I pounded them through the sky.
I soared over La Forêt de Veillepierre and checked the ward. With the aid of our joint magic, it was repairing. Just sensing the lingering energy of her connection amplified the yearning. I flew over my land, aching for my mate. Craving her touch.
But it was too late, I’d let her go.
As if on instinct, I flew to the edge of the forest, near her village.
At this hour, the roads were quiet. Warm light spilled from the cottage windows below, tiny amber squares lighting the dark.
Which was her home? A figure moved behind one of them as I hovered there, until I realized it wasn’t her.
If she could just step outside one of them so I could see her and know she was okay, would it alleviate some of the anguish building inside me?
It didn’t happen, so it didn’t matter. I flew until my wings grew weary and then returned to Valgarde, my body sagging with fatigue.
The scent of a spicy stew greeted me, and Genevieve had left a note with it in the kitchen. It smelled delicious, but I had no appetite. Instead, I turned toward the library.
When I stepped inside, Lilia’s scent reached me.
It was faint but I’d recognize that earthy, floral fragrance anywhere, one that was uniquely hers.
It triggered memories so vivid, I squeezed my eyes shut as they rushed through me.
The quiet evenings when she read from her books, the joyful hours while we played cards or board games, and the frantic moments when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
I opened the cabinet and pulled out the case containing the poppy. Almost every petal had turned to stone. Only one crimson petal remained, appearing fiercely stubborn despite its fragility.
Only one petal. My time was almost up. Strange how I no longer dreaded the end, with death so close I could practically feel it whisper.