5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
Carter
I remember requesting Lina as my partner for the charity run on a whim one night, but I was still in disbelief last night, when I saw the words written on my email confirming it. At the very bottom of the signup form, there was a field that allowed the participant to put in an anonymous request for a partner you don’t want to work with or a partner you do.
Was it the best decision? Nope. Did I do it anyway so I could spend time with her? Of fucking course.
On my way to the terminal, I take the first seat by the door on the sky tram. I’m heading out for the next three days. When the doors open, everyone clears the small space as more people crowd in. The beginning and end of the week are much busier than mid-week. Since this is a Monday and a typical day for commuters, the airport is filled with people traveling for work.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Looking at the screen, I notice it’s a Florida number. The only people I know in Florida are the Navy.
“Hello, I’m looking for Captain Carter Hernandez?” the woman on the other end of the phone asks.
“Yes, this is Hernandez.” I walk into a quiet nook on the bottom floor of the airport .
“Hi, Captain Hernandez, this is Maggie Wilder. I’m from the Naval Flight School, based out of Florida. Do you have a minute to speak with me?”
I rest my hand on the extended handle of my luggage and stand up straighter. “I do.”
“Great. We wanted to touch base regarding your interest in joining our team and would like to know if you’d be willing to come out to see us in the next few weeks. One of our experienced flight instructors will officially retire next fall, and we’re looking for someone with your experience to fill his position.”
I was on the path to becoming a flight instructor when I found out that my grandmother’s disease was progressing at a rapid pace. I couldn’t pursue it. I kindly turned them down, telling them I had some family matters that needed my attention. She’s the closest thing to a mother I’ve known. I knew I had to take time away to ensure she was cared for.
“Yeah, I’d love to come out to meet you, but I’m not sure I’d be able to relocate by then,” I say, checking my watch.
“We understand, Captain, but we want to keep the conversation open until you are ready to come aboard.”
My friend Brian had been working as a commercial pilot for a few years, and even though his airline wasn’t hiring, he got me in with one where I could be based in Phoenix. This gave me the opportunity to move my grandmother into the best memory care facility in the state. Now, I get to see her often and monitor her care. Her time is short, so I’ve started the process for the two naval aviation schools out of the state.
“Understood. Let me look at my flight schedule for the next month, and I will get back to you as soon as I can,” I offer. This is an excellent opportunity to move into a more rewarding role. I’d love to give to the next generation in this rewarding career field.
“That sounds great. We look forward to hearing from you. Happy landings.”
I can’t even think about leaving my grandmother right now. I flip on my cap and start walking. “Thank you. We’ll be in touch soon.”
Walking through the bustling airport, I always find myself searching for Lina. A quick glimpse of her or a simple conversation makes coming to work that much more exciting. I head to the crew lounge to grab some snacks and a coffee before my flight. There I see my friend Brian on his laptop by the window.
“Hey, man,” I greet, sitting in the chair next to him.
He closes his computer. “What’s up, Hernandez?”
“Nothing much. Just getting ready to head out.”
“Same. So, how’s my daughter?” Brian asks, sitting back in the leather lounger. I cringe. The way my friend refers to Lina as his daughter makes me feel fucked up for the thoughts I’ve had about her.
I always knew Brian had a daughter when he was young, although he barely spoke about her. When he did, he’d get emotional and tell me she was better off with her mother. I recall a time when I asked him why he never had any pictures of her, and he got defensive and said it was too painful.
Like me, Brian didn’t have a typical upbringing. His family lived in poverty, and they barely survived off of government-funded housing and food stamps. He knew the service was his only chance to better his life. I’ve always respected him for that, and I think that led to our brotherly relationship.
I straighten my black tie. “I don’t see her very often, but I’m sure I will more now since we’re partnered up for the charity run in a couple of months.”
“Yeah, how about that? What are the odds that my daughter and my oldest friend would get partnered up, considering how many people work for the airline.” He observes casually.
There’s that word again, daughter.
I shrug, trying to hide my joy at the fact that I made it happen. “I don’t know.”
“I invited her to lunch with Bristol and me last week.” His jaw briefly clenches. “It did not go over too well.”
I’m sure Lina was not happy about that. The little I’ve gotten to know her, she was probably upset by Brian asking her to meet someone he’s recently started dating. I’m sure she felt disrespected. But that’s Brian. His heart is in the right place, but his actions don’t always reflect that.
“I’m not surprised. You haven’t been with your new girlfriend for very long. And didn’t you try to have Lina meet the esthetician you were dating last spring too?”
He gives me a half smile. “Yeah, but that’s because I thought they’d have a lot in common. They both like to get facials and are the same age.”
“Dude. Really? No. I’m sure that’s fucking weird for her.” I sip my coffee. “Lina didn’t grow up with you around. She probably wants to spend the time getting to know you as her dad.”
He leans forward, clasping his hands together on bent knees. “That’s what she said when she stormed out of the restaurant. ”
I arch an eyebrow. “I’ve always been the smarter of the two of us.”
“Fuck you, Jag!”
“It’s true.” I laugh at his use of my call sign. I was called Jag , which was short for Jaguar . My call sign was a nickname given to me by the guys I used to fly with. They gave me Jaguar right away. Known for being fast and quickly moving, jaguars slice through the air like they don’t exist. I took this as a compliment. I don’t hear it anymore since I’m no longer serving, but it brings back intense memories of my time there.
“When I was a kid, I thought it was the best decision to remove myself from her life. I had nothing to offer her or her mother.” He sighs. “But now we don’t know each other.”
“But you’re working on that now.” I rest back in my chair and cross one leg over. “Give yourself a break.”
“I have a lot of regrets, you know?” He shrugs a shoulder. “And now we’re in uncharted waters. I want to be the dad that I wasn’t able to be, but at the same time, she’s a grown woman now.”
“I can imagine it’s a tough situation, but at least you’re in Lina’s life trying to have a relationship with her,” I point out.
Brian rests his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know my place in her life now.”
I give him a firm look. “To be her friend, Brian. That’s all she needs.”
He blows out a deep breath. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I want nothing more than to have her be a bigger part of my life and me in hers.”
It makes me sad for him. I’m sure having a child at sixteen was extremely difficult, and then making the decision he did by stepping away? I would never want to have to go through something like that.
“Take it slow, give her time, and respect the fact that she’s willing to let you back in,” I say. “That says a lot about the type of woman she’s grown into.”
When I hear my own words, my insides warm. She is one hell of a woman. I should know. I’ve been watching her from a distance for almost a year.
But I can tell this is a touchy area for him. I never had the chance to have children, but I also never messed around without being safe, either.
There’s a brief silence before he changes the subject.
Brian’s posture straightens. “Have you heard back from the aviation school in Florida about the flight instructor position?”
“Some of the guys I’ve been in contact with said it can take up to a year for this specific program.” I glance at my watch, making sure I’m still on schedule. “But oddly enough, I heard from them this morning.”
“I’m not surprised.” He juts his chin out and squints his eyes. “They’ll want to roll out the red carpet for you.”
“Thanks, man. They want me to fly out in the next few weeks to meet with them,” I explain.
Brian’s forehead furrows. “You’re not taking anything on now, right?”
I shake my head. “No, I can’t at this point. I need to stay here, but I agreed to a meeting. Then followed up by reiterating that I can’t accept anything for some time, obviously,” I tell him while waving at another pilot who walked by .
“And you’re sure you want to go back to Florida to teach cocky students like we used to be?”
I laugh. “I want to be in the air as much as possible. Sure, I’ve enjoyed the stability of commercial flights, but the only thing keeping me stationary at this point is my grandmother.”
Brian cocks his head to the side. “I bet Bristol has some girlfriends that she can introduce you to.”
“Way to be obvious about changing the subject.” I look away, annoyed at him offering what I know he thinks is charity. I do not need help getting laid. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
“Hernandez, you used to love hooking up with as many incredible women as you could. What the hell happened?”
“It was different back then. I was younger and looking to have fun,” I say, lifting off the chair. “I have to head toward my gate.”
“You can still have fun. We’re not that old, man.” Brian grabs his coffee in one hand and puts on his cap with the other. “You’ve been in Phoenix a year, and I haven’t seen you date or even hook up with anyone.”
Brian and I used to have fun back in the day, but life changed. Both of us swore off settling down with the type of freedom we had. Having a different woman in multiple countries isn’t something I’m proud of now, but I didn’t go to college, so that was me living out those partying years. Except, unlike college, my playful days didn't end at one school—they spanned multiple continents.
“I’m not looking to get my dick wet,” I snap.
Brian turns to me, grabbing my shoulder. “I get it. And I know you’re not planning on being here long term, but let me at least set you up with one of her friends. ”
I exhale, exasperated, before nodding in agreement to get him off my back. I have no plans to follow through, but at least I can make him happy in the moment. I feel sorry for what he’s struggling with regarding Lina.
He laughs loudly. “I knew you’d give in!”
I can’t tell him that the only thing I want to do is find the perfect woman to make love to over and over again for the rest of my life. But it’s true. And what’s also true is that I keep imagining Lina as that woman.
From the first moment I saw her strut up the skywalk and over to Brian on that day many months ago, she lit a flame inside me, and it grows every time I’m around her. I’ve traveled a lot throughout my life, and with that, I have seen—and experienced many types of women, but none remotely compares to her.
But she’s the only one I can’t have.
I’m driving home from game day at the memory care facility when I finally get the courage to text Lina. Now that I have an excuse to see her more often, I want to start as soon as I can.
Me: Hi, Lina, this is Carter. Looks like we’re going to be partners for the charity run next month.
Why does this feel like a start to something I might not be able to control? Pulling into my building’s parking garage, I sit in the car and obsessively watch as three small dots bounce up and down while she types.
Then they disappear. What? The message says read, so I know she got it. Was she typing out a response and decided not to send it? Maybe she’s with that guy I saw her with at the restaurant last week? My fists involuntarily form tight balls.
After a couple of minutes with no response, I push open my car door and slam it shut.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why the hell do I care so much, and why is it that I barely know her, yet it feels like she’s a part of me already?
“Get it the fuck together, Hernandez,” I mutter under my breath, hitting the up arrow on the elevator.
Simultaneously, as the doors open, my pocket vibrates. I slide it out to see if it’s a response from her.
Lina: Hi, Carter.
A shot of adrenaline. A release of dopamine. A breath of life .
Before I have the chance to tap out a reply, another message comes through.
Lina: I’m happy to be partnering with you.
Me: I think it will be fun. How do you feel about us getting together for a run soon?
Lina: That sounds good. We can take a look at our schedules.
My heart pounds in my chest. This could be a horrible idea.
Me: I’m free tomorrow evening .
I fire off, hoping she’s free too.
Lina: I fly out tomorrow morning for three days. Want to try when I get back?
Fuck. Okay, not a big deal.
Me: Okay.
Lina: Thursday?
Me: Thursday it is. I’ll text you.
Lina: Talk to you then.
Me: Happy landings, Lina.
Lina: Thank you.
And that's that.