19. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Lina
T he Poppy has become our go-to spot for girls’ night outs. It’s a Friday night, and the restaurant is buzzing like it usually is. I pinch myself through the dense crowds of people waiting for a table and those standing around the bar. I practiced conversation starters in the mirror while getting ready this evening. It felt weird since these women are my closest friends, but I needed to rehearse ways of avoiding spilling everything that happened between Carter and me.
I’m probably fooling myself. Bailey, Avery, and Piper will see right through me. I’m not ready to tell them yet. I’m still not prepared to admit to myself what’s going on. It’s thrilling but confusing. I haven’t been able to get him off my mind since Seattle.
Last night, I woke up from a deep sleep, turned the fuck on. A fever dream so intense I pulled my vibrator from the first drawer of my nightstand. I played with myself to fantasies of Carter. The way his dark features light up when he sees me, the way his body heat reaches into my core. How he moves so sensually but with a gentle authority. Goddamnit. I came twice that night from mental images of him. That’s how feral I am for that man .
Was it a fluke thing? I think to myself, heading to the back of the restaurant where the patio is located. We were giving in to our urges and having some fun, right? A lot of fucking fun—but harmless fun, right? A shiver moves down my spine.
I haven’t texted him. I’m not quite sure what to do at this point. As if he somehow was reading my mind, my phone buzzes in the back pocket of my jeans.
Carter: Hey, baby.
I click my tongue. I really don’t like it when he calls me baby .
Me: Hi, Captain Hernandez. What can I do for you?
Carter: I can’t stop thinking about the way you scrunch your nose when you’re about to come.
I blush. Fucking Carter —making my pussy throb through a simple text.
Me: Oh yeah? I’m glad you had your fun.
Carter: From the way your pussy came all over my tongue after breakfast that morning, you seem to have had a lot of fun yourself.
Me: Looking for a compliment on your ability to service me?
Carter: No. But I’ll take one anyway.
I can still feel the sensation of his large, ripped body on top of me. And suddenly, I’m questioning leaving girls’ night to satisfy my craving for him. One that I’ve been dying to have again for almost a week.
Me: I smelled you all over me even after I showered. I’d say you did an excellent fucking job.
Carter: I knew it. Feel like taking a run?
I read the message, but I decide to respond later and slip my phone into the back pocket of my jeans. I can’t let a little fling get in the way of my girlfriends.
“Hey, babes!” I call out as soon as I approach the table. We all exchange brief hugs before taking our seats.
“You look beautiful tonight.” Bailey cups my face. “You have this sexy glow about you.”
It’s impossible to hide anything from them. I laugh and shoo her away. “I got a good night’s sleep last night, that’s all.”
Piper takes the chair next to me and waves a hand in front of my face. “Yeah, you have this energy about you.”
I click my tongue and glance over to Avery for help. “Don’t look at me. You totally look like you finally got laid.”
Bailey’s eyebrows raise. “Is your dry spell over?”
“That’s what it is!” Piper exclaims.
I yank my shirt back and forth, feeling flushed. This is going to be more complicated than I thought it would be. “I’m starving. Can we order before you three begin interrogating me? ”
After we order some appetizers and drinks, I take the opportunity to distract them before they turn on me again.
Pinching the stem of my dirty martini, I take a sip. That feels good going down. “So, how’s everything going?”
We work together and keep up with as much of our lives as we can, but girls’ nights like this are where we spill all the tea, and, at times, they can become a little unhinged. It’s fabulous.
Piper bats her eyelashes before speaking first. “Jack and I are officially in escrow on my condo.”
“That’s so exciting!” Bailey shouts.
“I still can’t believe we won’t be working with you anymore.” I frown. “But at least you’ll be out here as much as you want!”
Avery smiles, holding her glass in the air. “Cheers to our Piper Moon and her happily ever after!”
“Yeah, Piper!”
With the clinking of our glasses, my mind chaotically swirls with the possibility of being alone forever. I’ve spent most of my life dating casually. Sure, I’ve had a few long-term boyfriends here and there, but committing myself to someone has been out of the question.
At the heart of who they are, men are perpetually selfish. They make decisions based on what they want at the time they want it. And again, I find myself entangled with a man who is off-limits and unavailable. The ultimate definition of self-sabotage is that I can’t stop myself from hiding behind a wall of a relationship that can never be. Am I protecting myself or repeating the same cycle I’ve become trapped in?
Taking a deep breath, I down my entire martini.
“Okay, Lina. It’s going to be that kind of night?” Avery teases .
I need to tell my friends that I slept with Carter—well, twice. And I let him go to town on me in the library of the masquerade party. I can’t keep this in. I don’t know how Bailey kept Mason a secret from us for so long—or Piper marrying Jack in Vegas. They have way more willpower than I do because I’m about to fucking explode.
“I slept with Carter!” I blurt out. The words shoot out of my mouth like a shaken bottle of soda.
Silence.
“Carter, as in your dad’s best friend— Carter ?” Bailey clarifies in shock.
I nod. “Yes. I slept with him—well, twice.”
Piper’s eyes bulge out of her head, and her mouth is agape. “I knew it!”
“I’m surprised it took you guys this long,” Avery replies, casually folding her arms across her chest.
I blush while grinning. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that anytime you two are around each other, the tension is so thick it’s suffocating for everyone else.” Avery sips her old-fashioned. “We were teasing you about it at the masquerade ball, but it’s completely true.”
Bailey’s face remains frozen in shock. “I thought you two were just casually flirting. When did this happen?”
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, remembering the thunderstorm— Wait. This is the first time since high school that my insides aren’t twisting while I remember a thunderstorm. I can’t fucking believe it. Could it be as easy as replacing bad memories with good ones?
My eyes mist. “When we were in Seattle last week. ”
Avery cocks her head to the side while her eyebrows pinch together. “When Carter walked you back to the hotel?”
I nod again, confirming. “That night”—I pause, biting my knuckle—“and then again in the morning.”
Avery’s eyes are as big as saucers. “Oh my god! Lina!”
“Why has The Poppy become a place of confession for us?” Bailey shakes her head, her voice even. It’s like we’re not surprised by our own antics anymore.
“This is true,” Avery states matter-of-factly, tilting her head back.
Piper quickly chuckles and then turns to me with a straight face. “How do you feel about it?”
“I’m not sure. I think it was a one time thing.” I slump in my chair. “Carter is …” Sigh. “… different.”
“I know that look,” Piper says, coyly flipping her hair to the side.
“So do I.” Bailey raises her eyebrows, sipping her cosmopolitan martini.
Avery folds her arms across her chest. “Are you catching some feelings?”
“I have no idea.” Rubbing my lips together, the thoughts of him and what he does to my body rush back. “He doesn’t look at me the way other guys have. It’s almost like he knows me deeper than I’d like, you know?”
Bailey nods. “That’s heavy.”
I run a hand through my tousled hair, pulling it to one side. “Hell yeah, it is.”
“So, what happened after you guys hooked up?” Piper’s words come out anxious .
My eyes drop to my fingers while I shred up a napkin. “We snuggled.”
“Good evening, ladies.” Bailey’s boyfriend, Mason, struts over to the table and leans in to press a kiss on top of Bailey’s head. “Hi, B.”
She tilts her head up to him, smiling. “Mason.”
“What are you all having tonight for dinner?” he asks, resting his hand on the back of her chair.
We all take turns ordering, but he doesn’t write down any food. Piper and I are the pickiest ones in the group, and I get anxious if he’ll get my order right.
“You drive me crazy when you don’t write anything down,” I say, annoyed.
“Have I ever gotten your order wrong, Lina ?” he retorts.
“No.”
“That’s what I thought.” He turns to Piper. “How’s Jack?”
At the mention of her husband, Piper’s face flushes a bright red, which is noticeable even under the dim light and the night sky. “He’s good. He’s bummed that he couldn’t come down this weekend.”
“I bet. I’m glad everything is going well with the winery. That man is a marketing machine.”
“I’m hungry,” I jokingly say out loud, hoping Mason will hear me.
He responds precisely how I imagined. “I’m going,” he drawls.
As soon as Mason heads back into the restaurant, all three sets of eyes hone back in on me.
“You guys snuggled?” Avery’s voice comes out dreamily .
Shoving my face inside my hands, I cover my eyes and nod.
“Oh my god. Lina! What does this mean?” Piper asks.
“I don’t think it means anything.” I look up, resting my chin in my palm. “We like each other—a lot. It’s clear, but that doesn’t mean we can do anything about it more than this.”
Bailey opens her mouth. “But—”
My hand comes up to silence her. “No, B. It’s not like that. Carter and I would complicate things more. I glance over to the couple sitting at the table next to ours. “It’s lust, that’s all. I’m smarter than to fantasize about a love like that.”
Piper rubs my shoulder, and I can feel she’s about to refute everything I’ve said now that she’s experienced what real love is. That doesn’t mean it’s meant—or even suitable for anyone else.
“I’m done talking about it, okay?” I straighten in my chair. “It happened. I don’t know what it means or how we’re moving forward. All I know is”—I pull my lips to the side of my mouth—“that it happened, and it felt nice.”
A dense silence fills the air around the table as these three women, who I know have my best interest at heart, try to romanticize the confusing emotions I have going on with Carter. But they also know that I’m more of a skeptic and cynic than all three of them.
I’m in control, and I know myself. Carter and I slept together a couple of times, but it isn’t going to change anything. It had been so long since I’d gotten laid, and we’re both adults. We can handle ourselves around others without it getting complicated.
Everything is going to be fine.
***
I open the door to my townhouse a short time later to find a blond guy with a backward hat sitting on my couch. “Can I help you?”
He briefly looks up from his phone to give me a quick nod. “I’m Riley.”
“Are you here for my sister?”
The guy’s eyes run the length of my body. “Or you.”
“Gross,” I spat. “I hope you’re fucking kidding.”
“I am.” He smiles, flashing me his overly whitened teeth. “Older women aren’t my thing.”
Older? My mouth drops. “Wow, you’re already making a great impression, aren’t you?”
“Bye, sis. I’ll be back later tonight!” Zoe calls out as she descends the stairs two at a time. The smart-ass guy on my couch stands up and walks toward her, wrapping a loose arm around her neck.
God, I’m glad I’m not in college anymore.
“Where are you going?” I press, dropping my keys in the bowl by the door.
“We’re going to a movie, then bowling afterward,” she replies, flipping her jacket over her shoulder.
“Okay. Be safe. And don’t stay out too late,” I remind her, heading into the living room.
A second later, I hear the door close behind me. Kicking off my shoes, I grab the remote to turn on the TV, but a light knock stills me.
I bet Zoe forgot her key again. I huff an exasperated breath and shuffle over to the door with heavy feet.
“Forgot your—” My breath catches. My stomach flips on its side. “Carter?”
He’s standing on the step with a hoodie on and a backward hat, oddly similar to what my sister’s date was wearing. “You left me on read . ”
And there goes my heart as it drops from my chest, then trips and falls right into the palm of his strong hand. My eyelashes flutter. “What?”
“You left our text on read ,” he repeats, this time slower, stepping into the house. His warm body against mine.
I’m hit with the potent scent of Irish Spring. He just took a shower. Swallowing the drool about to roll down my chin, I shake myself to gather my thoughts. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that.”
His eyes bore into mine as he stares down at them. “I got worried.”
A tight smile slips at his unapologetic attentiveness. “I was out for girls’ night. Do you want to stay?”
“Sure.”
Closing the door behind him, I’m already thinking about where in this house I’d like him to pound me. My body is already humming. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“A bottle of water is fine.”
I sprint into the kitchen, overheated by his presence. Fuck, he smells good. We can be friends. It’s completely fine. Opening the fridge, I bend to grab a cold water bottle from the bottom shelf. Then I feel the warmth of his hands glide up the curves on my hips. My eyes fall closed as I stand and lean into his embrace, craving for him to touch more of me.
“Hi,” I purr.
“I missed you,” he groans, sliding his hands under my shirt until he finds the sensitive peaks of my breasts. With a gentle pinch, my head falls back onto his shoulder.
“Fuck, I missed you too.”
Tilting his head to the side, he runs his tongue along the seam of my lips. On instinct, mine darts out to taste him. Heaven. Our tongues tangle for a beat before he captures my entire mouth in his. I suck him in. He spins me around to face his front.
“I need to feel your cock inside me,” I moan into his open mouth, having no shame in my state of desperation.
“I knew your pussy would get needy for me,” he growls, hoisting me on top of the counter. “It’s all fucking mine.”
“Oh god, it is.” I claw at his belt buckle. I’m throbbing, wet, and starting to get delirious. Powerful euphoria is tucked inside his pants. My pussy begs for his dick, and I can’t even think about anything else except for the sensation of every bump and groove of it.
“Maybe we just do this one more time and then that’s it,” he breathes out, his hands pawing at my shirt.
“I’m sure it will be out of our system soon,” I agree, pinching the hem of my shirt to help him slide it over my head.