Chapter 21
“I thoughtI’d never see the day where you’re totally in love,” said Bridgette while munching on a jumbo tomato and cucumber salad.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re having fun with this, I see.” I frowned over a heaping plate of sushi. I had the afternoon free, and Julia was busy working on a new campaign. The girls were with Peter for dinner later, so I was a free man. It felt kind of off having nothing to do with the people who had quickly become integral to my life. While I loved the new routine, I was unsettled when I didn’t see them. Their absence created a void I waited to fill, and it started to hit me that maybe I was growing too attached. Also, the fact I had told Julia I loved her two weeks ago, and she still hadn’t reciprocated the gesture was a tad disappointing, but I wasn’t shaken. I guess I wanted it all, and the hardest part was finding the patience. And this was how I met Bridge in the city at one of the restaurants she designed. Lately, it seemed the only place I saw my cousin involved in her work because this was how Bridgette kept herself sane. She distracted the fuck out of herself.
“Oh, I’m just teasing.” Bridgette twirled lettuce around her fork. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Please, I get hurt? You should be worried about the other person.” I snorted, but I stopped at the sickening thought of me hurting Julia. That was the last thing I wanted to do to her. I couldn”t deny my feelings for her had grown deeper by the day. Every time we were together, I fell harder for her. But a lingering question gnawed at me: did she feel the same way? Was she just enjoying what we had now, or did she see a future with me?
The age difference between us added another layer of complexity to our relationship. At twenty-seven, I still had so much ahead of me—dreams to chase, goals to achieve. Julia, on the other hand, had already experienced marriage and motherhood. She carried the weight of past heartbreak and trust issues that came with her divorce. While we navigated these differences as best as we could, there were moments when they cast a shadow over our love.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Bridgette began.
“Which means I’m definitely going to take this the wrong way.” I stared back at her blankly.
“Was Julia damaged by her divorce where she hasn’t said I love you back?”
“Bridgette, with all due respect, you can’t talk about damage.” A flash of anger ripped through me. Why did Bridgette need to say that to me? As if Julia would never heal and meet me halfway so we could thrive as equals. Where Julia would tell me one day she loved me. I wasn’t even looking at Bridgette when I commented, but when I lifted my gaze from my spicy tuna roll, her glassy eyes stared at the ceiling, fighting away fat tears.
Bridgette pushed the salad away and threw her napkin on the table. “What kind of thing is that to say?”
“Oh, come on, Bridge. I didn’t mean it.” I grimaced.
“Well, you can’t just say things you don’t mean.” Bridgette glared.
“What I meant was, you can’t sound all judgmental. I’m not saying you’re like Julia, but the two do share something in common.”
Bridgette crossed her arms, shook her head, and clenched her jaw. The trifecta signs that I should shut up, but I didn’t listen.
“Look, you even have to admit, when was the last time you gave a guy a shot?”
“How are you turning this on me?” Bridgette jabbed her chest.
I sighed, seeing the line I crossed. Bridgette was right; I shouldn”t have redirected the conversation to her own love life. However, my frustration and uncertainty about my relationship with Julia clouded my judgment. ”I”m sorry, Bridge.” My voice softened. ”I didn”t mean to make it about you. It”s just... I”m starting to feel like maybe Julia will never be able to fully open up to me.”
The glare plastered to Bridgette’s face melted as quickly as it appeared. She reached across the table and placed her hand on mine. ”Listen, I know Julia has been hurt in the past, and I didn’t mean to fill you with any doubt. Trust me, she knows how lucky she is to have you.” Bridgette released a breathy laugh. “If I’m being completely honest? I’m still in shock I’m hearing this from you. It’s like I’m sitting across from a new you.”
“I’m telling you. I’ve never felt this way about a woman before in my life. She’ll come around, right?”
“Of course, Julia will. She’s not stupid.” Bridgette squeezed my hand and reclaimed her salad.
“I can’t wait for you to meet her.”
“Oh yeah?” Bridgette’s brow popped. “I’m sure I’ll like her.”
“You’ll love her.” I popped another mouthwatering piece of sushi in my mouth.
“True. But will she love me back?” Bridgette thrust her tongue into her cheek.
“Ha-ha. Very funny.” I bowed my head. “Hey, want me to text Julia asking if the two of you can meet?”
“You’re going to ask now?” Bridgette shifted.
“Yeah, why not?” I didn’t see it as a big deal. Plus, it gave me an excuse to speak to Julia, which always sparked my heart.
“Isn’t she busy at work?” Bridgette’s leg shook under the table, and I knew what it meant. She was nervous. “Seriously, don’t bother her.”
I smirked at Bridgette”s anxiety. ”Oh, don”t worry, Julia”s not that intimidating,” I teased.
“I am not intimidated.” Bridgette fanned her face. “You’re making me frazzled.”
“Seriously, Bridge. Why are you so nervous?” I caught her wrist mid-air, quelling the human fan.
“Because Julia is suddenly your world, and what if we don’t get along? Maybe I’m just acting a little selfish.” Bridgette pushed a loose dark brown lock behind her ear, taking a small bite of cucumber.
“Just relax. Julia is one of the nicest people, and I’m not just saying that because she’s the one.”
Bridgette dropped her fork onto the plate, triggering a deafening clank. “Wait, what? The one? Did you just say the one?”
“I did. I’m probably the only man on Earth to believe the woman I confessed my love to, who hasn’t reciprocated, is still the one. But hey. I guess when you know, you know.” I shrugged.
“Did you ever feel anything like this with Libby?”
The mention of Libby’s name sent ice throughout my body, and I froze. When I met Bridgette’s gaze, she knew.
“You never told Julia about Libby, did you?”
I held Bridgette”s gaze, feeling a lump form in my throat. ”Not exactly,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. ”I haven”t told her about Libby.”
Bridgette leaned back, her eyes widening. ”You haven”t? Why not?”
”I don”t know,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. ”It”s complicated. Libby... she was a big part of my life and changed me.” I leaned forward. “Look, how I treated Libby was awful. I led her on and made her believe I was the one for her when I knew I never truly or could ever love her. It’s a part of my life I’m not proud of, and I’ve blocked it out.”
“It’s going to come out. Just saying.” Bridgette held up a warning hand.
“How could I let my mom control me like that? It’s what brings the most shame. Every part of that relationship with Libby was lived to please my mother. It was pathetic. And that is why I don’t speak about it. Because any woman who hears that will instantly think I’m the biggest momma’s boy. That is not who I am.”
“I know. If anything, now you live to piss your mother off.” Bridgette laughed.
“That’s not entirely true.” I drummed my fingers on the table, realizing I’d never be able to finish my lunch if I kept talking about my mom. Pulling out my phone, I texted Julia. “You’re slick, though. You got me all distracted. I almost forgot to text Julia.”
Bridgette rolled her eyes, continuing to eat. I, on the other hand, was done.
Me
What are you wearing?
Julia
Not now. I’m busy.
Me
Aw, that’s too bad. I wanted you to meet the other woman in my life.
Julia
Fine. You win. What’s up?
Me
Will you go to coffee with my cousin Bridgette? I’d love for the two of you to meet. I think you’d hit it off.
This wasn’t the first time I spoke about Bridgette to Julia. She knew of my cousin’s past and listened attentively whenever I brought her up. I could tell Julia sensed an unspoken connection between them. And it wasn’t because they were divorced. They were two strong women who fought hard for what they had today.
Julia
Of course. I’d love to meet her! Is she free next Monday after work?
“Are you free next Monday after work?” My eyes lifted to meet Bridgette’s steady gaze. She pushed around the food on her plate, and I couldn’t tell if she wanted to meet Julia. “If you don’t want to go, you can always say no. I’ll just make up an excuse.”
“Did anyone ever tell you how annoying you are?” Bridgette squinted.
“Great! Next Monday it is.”
Me
That works for Bridgette. Thanks for this, babe.
Julia
Of course, my love. I’m about to go into another meeting. Talk later…xx.
Love? Did Julia use that word in a context close enough for me to believe she loved me? Who was I kidding? Of course, she loved me. I didn’t need to hear the words to know it. Her actions spoke the sounds she couldn’t form…at the moment. I failed to wipe the goofy smile off my face and caught Bridgette staring at me.
“Julia just said, ‘my love’ to me.” I held up the phone before chucking it onto the table.
“Here we go.” Bridgette rolled her eyes. “Are we going to analyze that line for the rest of the day?”
“No, no.” I waved a dismissive hand, even though my mind had already raced to figure out that small phrase. Instead of driving myself crazy, I took my phone and pulled up an app to send a dozen red roses to Julia’s office.
“What are you doing now?” Bridgette motioned to my cell.
“I’m sending roses to Julia’s work.” I hit complete, and my order was confirmed. “They should be there in an hour.”
“Oh, my God. You really are serious about Julia.” Bridgette’s eyes bulged.
“Don’t worry. You’ll find someone like me one day.” I grinned, showing off every single tooth.
“I don’t even know who I’m sitting across from now.”
“You are sitting across from someone absolutely in love for the first time and who will burst if she doesn’t say it back.” I ran my hands through my hair, messing it up without a care.
“It’ll happen. Just be patient.” Bridgette patted my hand, doing her best to reassure me.
Patience was never my strong suit, especially when it came to emotions. But I trusted Bridgette”s words, knowing she had been through the ups and downs of love. I never wanted to experience the downs with Julia because she was my light. And I’d prefer her to stay on at all times.