Chapter 9
I was a bastard.
I had been comfortable with him, and I said he was gorgeous, and then I backpedalled like a complete spineless asshole.
I had dismissed him without even looking at him.
The truth was, I was terrified. I’d had boyfriends in the past, but nothing was serious.
Nothing gave me the feeling in my guts that I had when I looked at Ellis.
My family life was difficult, and I wasn’t sure I could try to explain that to him.
I also didn’t think I would actually want to hide Ellis from the world like I had with the other men in my past.
My phone interrupted my mental rambling.
“Hello?”
“Ade, it’s me.” My sister, Jennie.
“Hello, brat. What’s up?” I grinned and waited for her.
She sighed. “You’re such an asshole. I’m outside your door. Come let me in!” I snorted and hung up, heading for the front door.
I gave her a hug when she got inside. “Hello, you,” I said into her hair as I squeezed her tight. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
She kissed me on the cheek. “Just happened to be passing.”
Yeah, right. I didn’t believe that for a second. “Try again?”
“Okay. Mum said you sounded like shit the last time she spoke to you and she knew you wouldn’t talk to her.”
“She was right, but what makes her think I’ll talk to you?”
Jennie punched me in the arm and headed straight for my kitchen to put the kettle on.
She moved around the room, getting the cups, the milk, the teabags.
She kept silent the whole time and I sighed, knowing the game she was playing.
She says nothing, and I eventually cave in and tell her what she wants to hear.
“Fine.” I sighed.
She smirked. “It’s clearly a guy. So, spill.”
“Does it have to be about a man?”
Again, she gave me a look and I admitted defeat.
“Okay! It’s about a guy.”
She smiled and went back to making the tea.
“He’s a temp. He came to my office to work as my assistant. He’s gorgeous, and I’m pretty sure he’s gay too.”
She spun around and stared. “You haven’t asked him?”
I laughed and started the pour the milk into my mug.
“How the fuck would that work, Jennie? Come on. Gay men are meant to have gaydar, and just know if a person is gay or not. I don’t have that shit.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m too fucking repressed in my own sexuality, but I don’t fucking know. ”
Jennie put her hand on my shoulder. “Relax. I still don’t agree with Dad on this one. It’s got you all tied in knots, and you clearly really like this guy. What’s he called?” Her smile was comforting, and I did relax a little.
“Ellis Baxter.”
“Ohh! Good name! A strong name.”
“He strikes me as a strong man.” I think about Ellis, and about the fact that me attempting to keep my distance with him has only served to stop me from actually getting to know anything concrete about the man I work with.
Jennie can read me like a book. There are just eighteen months between us, and while I’m the stable one, my sister is the flight of fantasy kind of person.
She lets her instincts and her heart lead her, and I have to be honest, for her, it really works.
For me, I’m not really sure it would make any kind of difference to how I am, and how I’m perceived to be.
“You’ll get to know him, you know? You’ve realised it now and you’ll make the effort.”
I cover her hand on my arm and give it a gentle squeeze.
“I love you, Jen.” There was nothing else I could say aside from that to truly express how grateful I was to have her as my sibling, or for the support, love, and understanding she offered me.
“You’ve dated more than me. How do I get to know him without it feeling forced or like I’m prying? ”
She lifted her mug of tea and walked into my living room, sat on the sofa, and thought about her words before she spoke. For the next hour, my kid sister schooled me in the finer points of getting to know another human being, and how not to come across as a massive arsehole.
* * *
I listened to everything my sister said, and when Monday morning came around, I wanted to put it into play.
But I just couldn’t figure out a way to casually chat with Ellis.
My palms got sweaty, my tongue got tied, and I started to revert back to being a wanker, purely because that was what I was most used to being and most comfortable as.
She texted on Monday evening to ask how I was getting on, and had I got to know him any better.
I’m a failure . I texted back.
Have a little faith in yourself. You’ve been such a monumental prick for so long, it can be hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Keep at it. You can do it!
I chuckled and shook my head. Only my sister could be supportive and insulting all in the one message.
Ellis was pushing me farther and farther out of my comfort zone.
He was the kind of man to make me want more.
He was also the kind of man who inspired me to want to be more.
To do the things I had always dreamed of.
To tell my father that my sexuality wasn’t a business mistake, that it was just who I was, and not only was I proud of it, but it made me the businessman with the loyalty to my family that I am.
I lifted my phone and buzzed through to Ellis’ desk.
“Can you stay late tonight? I have some things I need your help with. I’ll feed us.
” I waited for his reply. “Thank you. I’m sending you an email outlining the work for tonight and the prep I need done for it.
Also, there’s a new meeting at half four.
I have a representative of JLC coming in before we meet again with those assholes at the end of the week.
” He laughed and told me it was no problem and hung up.
The sound of his laughter echoed in my head.
I wasn’t sure there was any part of that man I wasn’t enjoying being around. His laughter was delightful.
* * *
By nine thirty that night, there was a Chinese takeaway spread across the coffee table in my office, and Ellis and I were making the most of it and the cold beers I’d had delivered too.
More and more, the chatter drifted from the job in hand to general exchanging of information between two people who were trying to be more like friends than employees of the same company.
“Looking forward to another meeting with Jenkins and Lowell?” I grinned.
Ellis grimaced. “Can we have the rest of the day off again afterwards?”
“Unfortunately, no. If only. They’re a pair of draining bastards.”
He groaned, and his head fell back to rest on the cushion of the sofa.
There was something about that sound, something about the look on his face.
All sense left me, and I leaned over and coupled my mouth with his.
I cupped the side of his face and licked my tongue along the seam of his lips, begging him to part them.
His fingers found their way to the hair at the nape of my neck.
His mouth opened, his tongue duelled with mine, and I moaned against his mouth.
Lust and a rampant need took over us both, and the sexual chemistry that had been brewing over the last few weeks exploded.
I pressed myself against him, and his hand went for the bottom of my shirt, pulling it free from my trousers, allowing him to slide his hand underneath it and touch my bare skin.
I moved back, bringing him with me so I could have him lying back on the sofa, positioning myself between his legs, feeling his hard cock pressed against me, hungrily devouring him with my mouth. He pulled me hard against him, both hands under my shirt grabbing my skin, needing me closer.
All I could think about was how much I wanted him naked, how I needed to be naked with him, and how much I wanted to find myself inside him. I needed Ellis more than I had ever needed any man my entire life, and every ounce of that feeling poured out of me into him via our lips.