Chapter 28
Skye let the water numb her ankles, before hitching her skirt into her pants and edging deeper into the sea. A voice behind her called her name, and she turned around to see Bear.
She felt her lips split into an involuntary smile. ‘How nice to see you in person.’
Until then, Skye had been standing at the edge of the group, every so often flicking an eye backwards, wondering what Hamish was saying to Paolo.
‘Not going to fall in, are you?’ said Bear.
He leaned over, put a hand around her shoulder and tugged her towards him to give her a kiss on the cheek. He pulled away, leaving his hand where it was, and Skye felt heat emanate from that spot.
‘I’ll try not to. How’s your week been? How’re things down on the farm?’
‘They’re OK,’ he said, finally removing his hand, only to drag it down his chin. ‘It’s not been the farm that’s the problem.’
‘Have you started working on another project?’ The thought left her feeling empty.
Deep down, Skye knew that Bear was going to have to return to Edinburgh at some point. In fact, she would be going back first. It made her feel like a Dalí painting come to life, time melting away and everything else around her distorted. Once they were home, would they see each other again?
‘Not yet. It’s more . . . I’ve got to have a conversation at work that I don’t want to have,’ said Bear. ‘Let’s not talk about it now. I don’t want to bring the mood down at the party.’
Skye shook her head. ‘You wouldn’t be. Why not get it off your chest? That way you might be able to enjoy the atmosphere here.’
‘I am enjoying it,’ said Bear. ‘Has there ever been a better advertisement for quitting the city and running off somewhere that feels like you’re not even on the mainland any more?’
He waved his hand across the scene before him, and Skye followed his gaze. He was right.
‘I’m glad you’ve finally been converted, though I’m not sure either of us would be happy here, knowing we have to untangle problems at home,’ said Skye. ‘Come on, out with it.’
Bear sighed. ‘You’ve worn me down . . . I need to have a conversation with my mother. Not in her capacity as a parent — that would be fine. But in her role as my boss. There’s a manager above me, other people I report to, but what I want to do, I need to tell her first.’
‘Ah. This is your secret project?’ asked Skye.
It felt like a joke, how often they referred to it, and yet still Skye didn’t know anything about it. Bear completely refused to divulge a single detail.
Bear nodded. ‘Indeed.’
Skye smiled triumphantly. ‘You’ve given away a huge clue. It’s a work thing. You’re quitting?’
She’d decided to guess big, but Bear didn’t reply. He turned and looked at the sea.
‘You want to leave?’ she cried, so that Holly and Chloe, who were stood nearest them, looked around. She lowered her voice, and side-stepped closer to him so their arms were touching. ‘Am I right?’
Bear looked down at her. ‘You might be on to something. Not straight away, though. But please, please don’t say anything to anyone. If anyone up here found out about it, and it got back to my mother before I’d had a chance to go to her myself, it would be really unprofessional. And there’s the double whammy that she would also take it personally.’
‘She wouldn’t, would she?’
‘Telling her I don’t think my vision fits with that of the firm? Her firm? I think it would come as a massive slap in the face.’
‘But you’re not rejecting her as your mother, just as a boss.’
‘I would hate to upset her though. I would like her to be proud of what I’m doing, but she might see it as me throwing all the opportunities she gave me back in her face.’
As Bear contemplated the ramifications of quitting, Skye mused how so much of her life had been spent trying to make things right with her parents. Trying to show them that she was forging a path of her own, after the enormous blip of her teens.
She still hadn’t called them. The previous day she had fobbed them off with a text, skirting around the fact that she wasn’t on the holiday they thought she was. Remorse wended its way through her at how she was pushing them away, shutting herself off. But how would they react, her father in particular — with his ethos of redemption through acts of service — to the fact she was endangering all those years of hard graft?
Bear sighed. ‘All I can see is that she gave me a chance, at one of the best architectural firms in the country — I mean, the place is globally recognized; they get commissions from Chicago to Chennai — and I’m chucking it away.’
She understood him, she really did. But he was going on to bigger and better things. His mother would appreciate that. By comparison, Skye was going nowhere, backwards even, which was all her parents might see.
Skye looked at him. ‘You’re not beholden to your parents,’ she said. ‘It’s their job to try to give you the best start in life . . .’
Skye’s parents had tried to, in their own ways, even though it led to blows. It must be hard to know, as a mother or father, the correct way to raise your child.
A chill breeze flickered across the beach, and the lapping waves splashed up Skye’s legs.
‘. . . You’re your own person,’ she concluded. ‘You’ll have earned her respect.’
For some time, that had been Skye’s aim with her parents, but she was starting out from a very different baseline. It was harder to gain someone’s respect when you’d lost it and had to earn it back.
‘Why not tell me where you’ve got to with Auchintraid,’ she said, keen to change the subject. ‘Wow, my feet are really chilly.’
‘Aye. Mine are cold and all. Mind you, after the burn, I’d have thought you were OK with it. You risked coming fully clothed.’
‘I’m intending to stay dry, thank you,’ said Skye, meeting Bear’s eye.
‘Your track record isn’t great,’ he said with a roguish grin. ‘Not that I minded.’
Skye raised her eyebrows. ‘I’d argue you’ve seen enough of my bare flesh to last you a lifetime.’
A comeback was on the tip of his tongue — Skye felt a frisson run up her spine as she imagined a protest against her last statement — when there was a roar. Greg and Angus, down to trunks, had run into the ocean. Leaving the water immediately, and shaking themselves off like wet dogs, the Dunbar brothers walked up the beach, Holly and Chloe keeping a distance.
‘Shall we follow them up?’ said Skye, resigned to the fact the moment they’d been sharing was over.
Bear nodded. ‘Let’s.’
Smoky air floated on the breeze. The bonfire was now burning brightly, making Paolo’s scene look almost pagan, and as they walked, Skye felt herself bumping shoulders with Bear every so often. The sand formed uneven ridges beneath her feet, and sent her veering towards him, or at least, that was what she told herself. Every time their fingertips brushed past each other, she had to stop from reaching out, hoping he would fold her hand in his.
When they reached the bonfire, they sat down next to each other. ‘Can I get you a drink? Another of Paolo’s cocktails?’ Bear asked.
‘I’d love one.’
She watched as Bear got up and wandered over to the cool box. Greg and Angus, now both wrapped in towels, were grabbing beers, and Bear paused to talk to them.
Hamish scooted up next to her, exuding an air of mischief. ‘That was a serious conversation you were having there.’
Skye allowed herself a smile. There was no point in hiding anything from Hamish. He’d known her too long for her to try and fib her way through it. He knew where the bodies were buried, and anyway, this was hardly scandalous.
‘I would totally let him feed me cinnamon buns while showing me timber frames,’ sighed Skye.
‘Is that . . . Do you mean actual timber frames? Or something else. I think of myself as being relatively down with the kids, but I’ve not come across that one . . .’ said Hamish. ‘Does it mean “muscles”? Or his, you know . . .’
Skye raised her eyes to the sky, where clouds were starting to blow in. ‘Come on, Hame. I’m talking about architecture.’ She paused, wanting to articulate herself clearly. ‘When we talk, I feel like everything is all right. I’m completely relaxed. More than I have been for months.’
‘Ah. So you could fart around him?’
‘What?’ Skye spun and looked at him.
Amusement danced across Hamish’s face. ‘You know. Fart blanche. You are at complete ease in somebody’s company,’ he said, stifling a snort.
‘I have boundaries,’ she said, feigning primness. ‘And that is one of them. You wouldn’t dream of doing it in front of Paolo.’
‘Fair enough.’ He chuckled. ‘Have you told Bear about Hurricane Skye, then?’
‘Absolutely not. Hurricane Skye is on a need-to-know basis. Now, haud yer wheesht.’
Hamish smiled at Skye’s colloquialism, then muttered something about getting another drink, and disappeared to the other side of the bonfire, as Bear sat down in the sand next to Skye and passed her a glass.
‘One fabulous cocktail for you,’ said Bear. ‘And one for me. I was drawn in by the glace cherries. I can never resist them.’
‘I didn’t have you down as someone with a sweet tooth. You look like someone who takes care of themselves. Eats seven a day, all colours of the rainbow. Avoids deep-fried Mars bars.’
‘Are you kidding? I’ve got hollow legs. Which is great, considering I’ve got a real sugar addiction. My granny’s cinnamon buns are the best thing in the world. I’ll have to bake you some.’
It had to be a sign. Skye felt herself blush at an image of herself reclining on a sofa, being fed morsels of one by Bear. For some reason, they were both in togas, and Bear’s hung perfectly from his shoulders, revealing strong arms. And there was a cruck frame building around them, which hardly fitted in with the rest of the Roman-themed vision, but Skye didn’t really care about that.
There was laughing from the other side of the bonfire. Greg, it seemed, was intent on starting a raucous round of touch rugby. ‘Everyone has to join in,’ he said. ‘While the burgers cook.’
‘Burgers which are straight from Auchintraid Farm,’ added Chloe.
If Skye had been at risk of losing herself completely in her vivid daydream, the thought of this was enough to halt it.
‘Not the ones in the field the other day?’ she said.
‘Their friends and relations,’ said Angus, coming and standing before them, brandishing a rugby ball. ‘Are you two in?’
Bear got up. ‘I reckon so. Skye?’
‘I guess so,’ she said, and got up too, hoping Bear was on the opposite team and found reason to tackle her.