Chapter 41
The sun had chosen to only bless the coast with its rays. About twenty minutes inland, clouds had gathered and the skies were gunmetal grey and threatening. Above the grizzling radio, there was a deep rumble of thunder that echoed about the peaks and glens of the Highlands.
‘Zaza, call Bear Sinclair,’ said Skye.
‘Cannot find Bear Sinclair,’ came the monotone response.
‘Oh! Idiot!’ Skye slapped her forehead. ‘Angry-handsome Man. I mean, Zaza, call Angry-handsome Man.’
If any of this went to plan, she was going to have to change his name in her contacts list.
The phone took a second to connect, but again, went straight to voicemail.
‘Zaza, hang up,’ Skye commanded.
She pulled a sweet from the glove compartment, wondering what she wanted to say to Bear. She pictured his face, his piercing blue eyes, and wondered if she would have to say anything at all. Maybe he knew how she felt all along. There was a thread between them, and over the last month it had tightened and tightened. For Skye, it was if all that time they had existed in the universe for one another, their finding one another pure kismet. Until that afternoon.
She recalled his tone, and bit her lip, asking herself if this was stupid.
‘No,’ she told herself. ‘And even if he does say no, you’ve done the right thing. Not hidden away.’
A plop of rain hit the windscreen, then another. Skye glanced up. A flash of sheet lightning lit up the skies. Thirty seconds later, heavy drops started to rebound off the windscreen, the road ahead disappearing.
She slowed, clunking the gearstick back down. Driving in the city rarely stressed her out — you could only pick up so much speed, and when the weather was bad, you were never going far, the streets tidy and familiar, and straight.
Out here, though, there were surprising turns, hairpin bends. Concentration was key, even when the scenery tried to steal your gaze from the tarmac, especially in conditions like this.
Skye crossed a small bridge over the burn which ran through the Glenalmond estate, not far from where she and Bear had abandoned his car earlier that day.
‘Zaza, call Angry-handsome Man,’ she said, glancing over at the abandoned red hatchback as she passed.
Again, no answer. Skye growled in frustration.
She leaned forwards, trying to work out what was in front of her, the windscreen wipers struggling to keep up with the volume of water coming down. The visibility was down to zero. Driving in the pelting rain was feeling less safe by the second, and Skye’s knuckles were white as they gripped the steering wheel. It would be sensible to pull over, but she didn’t want to stop.
From around the corner, a car appeared, making her jump. It occurred to her that it was the first one she had seen since the downpour began. Most people would have decided it was a fool’s errand, coming out in this.
Her phone buzzed. She could hardly take her eyes off the road, but she flicked them to the screen for a second. Bear!
‘Zaza, pick up. Answer,’ Skye said, quickly.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Please try again.’
‘Zaza, answer the bloody phone. Answer.’ She heard her voice go up a pitch.
‘Would you like me to accept the call?’
How could such a clever machine be so utterly useless? She had known pencils with more intelligence than Zaza.
‘For crying out loud. Yes! Accept call!’
She practically shouted the last words, and there was a click as the connection was made. Skye inhaled sharply.
‘Skye? Are you OK? You’ve been calling me.’
‘Bear! I’m coming to see you. I couldn’t get hold of you. I’m driving back to Edinburgh.’
Bear’s voice faded, then reappeared. ‘I missed all of that. Think it’s my signal.’
It was hers. Between the storm and the mountains of the Highlands, she was surprised the phone had connected at all.
‘I’m coming down to Edinburgh. I need to see you. I . . .’
She didn’t have a chance to say any more.
Skye’s eyes widened as she came out of the next bend. Ahead of her, a deer lay in the road, its fawn standing next to it. She swerved to miss it, the wheels losing contact with the ground below. The car skimmed across the water, spinning around at a right angle to the road.
In that brief instance, she couldn’t remember what to do. Did you steer into it, or was that ice?
Time became very slow as she skated towards the edge of the road. She barely dared look and see what was next to her. Best case would be flat land, but there could be a ditch, or worse. Skye closed her eyes. And then slammed on the brakes.
With a series of bumps, the car ground to a halt. Skye’s heart was pounding so fast she thought it might burst.
She stayed where she was, rigid in the seat, the seatbelt digging into her neck. Her eyes were still screwed up tightly. Despite knowing she was upright, she didn’t dare open them.
‘Skye? Skye? Are you there? What the hell was that noise?’
Bear! He was still on the line.
‘What noise?’
‘The squealing? Are you OK?’
The brakes. She hadn’t registered them making a sound. ‘Bear. You’re there. I’m fine. I’m just . . .’
Skye opened her eyes, wound down her window and peered out of the window. Rain hit her face, splattering the door and the dash. The car had come to rest on a patch of grass, the front bumper crumpled up against a fence post. Beyond it was a field, which soared up into a high peak. The other side of the road was a cluster of pines. A couple of horses were padding over to say hello, there was nobody else in sight.
‘Skye?’ Bear sounded concerned.
‘I’ve come off the road. I was about to hit a deer, and . . .’ She turned the key in the ignition. The engine made a yowling sound, then died away. She tried again. ‘Now my car’s stuck. I’m what, half an hour from Eastercraig, somewhere.’
‘I’m coming to get you,’ said Bear.
‘But you’re in Edinburgh? I’m fine, really. I’ll call roadside assistance, and then ring to get help from Hamish.’
‘No. Skye, I’m on my way now. I’ve just passed the garage outside Kirkmuir. I’ll be there in ten minutes.’
‘What? You’re where?’
‘Stay in the car, Skye—’ The phone cut out. ‘I’ll be there in―’
Bear fell off the line. Skye reached out to take her mobile from the holder, only to find herself pinned to the seat by her seatbelt. Her neck felt sore. She unplugged the belt, leaned forwards and dialled again. She had no desire to employ Zaza again today.
Nothing. Bear must have disappeared into another signal dead zone. If he was where he had said, he wouldn’t be long.
Skye grabbed her coat, and ran into the storm, back up to where the deer had been. Her legs felt as though her bones had been replaced by jelly, but she needed to know if the deer was dead, if the fawn was OK.
As she got closer, rain dripping off her nose, she realized it was breathing. She crouched down low over the deer. Its chest rose and fell rapidly, its body struggling with invisible wounds. There wasn’t, as far as Skye could see, blood on the road.
She stood up, and squinted through the rain for the fawn. It was nowhere to be seen. Terrified by her car, it must have darted into the trees.
She got her phone, relieved this spot had signal, and called Hamish. The Glenalmond estate was so vast, it might sprawl this far. If not, he would know whose land it was. The first time, the phone went through to voicemail, but on the second attempt, Hamish picked up. Skye shuddered with relief.
‘Skye? Aren’t you on your way to Edinburgh?’
‘I was, but I swerved to avoid a deer. I came off the road, and my car won’t start. But Hame, there’s an injured doe here, and her fawn has run into some trees. I’m somewhere past the turning to Ben Hendry, roughly ten minutes from Kirkmuir.’ Skye wiped rain from her face.
‘Stay put. Holly’s still here, and she and I and Paolo will come out. And Chloe too. We’re pretty much done, and Mum and Dad can hold the fort until I’m back.’
As they hung up, the heavens were lit up by another flash of lightning, silhouetting the towering peaks. A round of furious thunder rolled through the valley.
‘You poor thing,’ Skye whispered, getting back down on her haunches. ‘Hold on, OK? You’ve got a little one to care for.’
Hardly audible above the roar of the storm, Skye heard a car. She looked up, and waved her arms, hoping that whoever it was wouldn’t hit them. It pulled over by the side of the road, a swanky navy hybrid.
The window wound down, and Bear stuck his head out. Skye’s heart leapt. She used a hand to beckon him over.
‘What the heck are you doing? Get here now,’ he yelled.
Skye frowned. ‘I can’t,’ she cried. ‘She’s injured.’
‘The storm is directly overhead, Skye. There’s one cluster of trees. You’re at risk of getting struck.’
A bolt of panic that felt as if she had been zapped by a stun gun hit her. Skye hadn’t considered this.
She looked at the doe. ‘Help’s on its way,’ she said.
Skye ran to the car. Bear opened the passenger door, and Skye threw herself in.
‘I didn’t think,’ she gasped. With her sleeve, she tried to dry her face, but her cardigan was wet through.
The mountains were illuminated by another flash, accompanied by more thunder. Bear switched the headlights on, making sure other cars couldn’t miss seeing the deer.
Bear looked at her, face full of concern. ‘Come on, take that off, and grab a blanket. I’ll turn the heating on. Oh, Skye, you’re bleeding.’
Skye looked at him. ‘What? Where?’
She raised a hand to her head, felt around, then examined her fingers.
‘Where your seat belt was,’ said Bear.
Skye wriggled out of her cardigan, and Bear took it and chucked it onto the back seat, then pulled a cashmere blanket through to the front. As she wrapped it around her shoulders, Bear produced a handkerchief from his pocket, another of his grandmother’s, and held it gently to her neck.
‘It’s not too bad,’ he said, quietly.
He was very close, and she could hear his voice reverberate through her body. It was making her pulse dance.
‘Is this your mum’s car?’ said Skye, her eyes alighting on the cream leather interior, taking in how immaculate the vehicle was. ‘From what you said she isn’t going to be thrilled that I’ve dumped half a gallon of water over the upholstery.’
She was putting off the conversation she needed to have, she knew it but couldn’t stop herself. She wanted to prolong the moment when she knew it really was all over between them, before it had even started.
‘Aye,’ said Bear. ‘And aye, she’ll be underwhelmed when I return it to her. Skye . . . I need to tell you something.’
It was time. The last truth had to out, and she couldn’t put it off any longer. Whatever Bear was going to say, she needed to let him know how she felt. Skye swivelled round in her seat, and pulled her knees up under the blanket.
‘Me first, please. Look, Bear, I told you everything about me, and perhaps it made you think twice, but I was driving back to tell you how much I like you. The last month has been amazing, and I can’t handle the thought of never seeing you again.’
He didn’t reply. Skye felt her blood zing around her veins as her fight-or-flight urge started to kick in. She closed her eyes, scared to look at him, terrified she had said too much and that she had misread the pull between them.
‘Skye?’ Bear sounded sincere. ‘Skye?’
She opened her eyes and looked right at him. His face was set, those bright eyes waiting for hers to meet them.
‘In that case . . .’ he said, in a low voice. ‘That makes two of us.’
Skye let out a gasp of shocked relief, a half-laugh, but Bear wore a serious expression and continued. ‘I will warn you, however, as of this afternoon, I’m a guy without a current situation, but I do have prospects.’.’
‘As if that matters,’ said Skye, wanting to tell him her news. ‘Because actually . . .’
She hesitated.
‘What?’ he asked. ‘What is it?’
‘I handed in my notice. I’m going to look for a role where I can be of more use to the world. I know it sounds idealistic, but somebody has to be, right?’
Bear nodded. ‘The world needs people like you,’ he said. ‘I’m so proud of you, Skye. You’ve faced your fears today.’
Skye felt her heart grow stronger at his words, but she hadn’t finished.
‘I have to go back to being a person who stood up for what they believed in, although this time I’ll go about it the right way. I have to be myself. Once I sorted that out, I realized that there was one last thing I had to be honest about — my feelings for you . . .’ She paused. ‘I hope that the real me is someone you might want to be with.’
It was as if Bear was looking into her soul, and Skye felt electricity in the air, nothing to do with the storm outside. It pulsed through her, her fingers and toes tingling. She could see crinkles forming in the corners of Bear’s eyes, a smile forming. She felt the corners of her mouth turn up in response.
‘What do you think?’ said Bear. ‘The real you is exactly the person I want to be with.’
Skye bit her lip, holding his gaze, then leaned in. Bear reached out, put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her closer. He moved with caution, taking care where she was hurt.
His lips finally met hers, and as they kissed Skye felt nothing but pure happiness radiate through her. More than happiness. She had never had a kiss like it, and she held tight to Bear, never wanting to let him go.
* * *
‘So, why did you not want to come back with me earlier? You sounded so far away on the phone. I thought you were letting me down gently,’ Skye said, pushing her back into her seat.
Bear looked at her as though she had put one and one together and made seventy-three. ‘I would never do that.’ He scratched his neck as he thought about it. ‘Maybe it was this? The bank approved my loan.’
Skye squealed. ‘That’s what you meant about prospects! I’m such an idiot — I cut you off as you were telling me. I’m so sorry. And I can’t believe I didn’t ask you. Bear, that’s amazing.’ She threw her arms around him, then pulled back, still gripping his shoulders. ‘That’s brilliant.’
Bear grinned. ‘Thanks. I had everything I needed, so I went to the office and resigned. In the same way you want to be you, I need to be me. It wasn’t an easy conversation though, so perhaps that’s why I sounded distracted. I’m sorry if I did. I had to psyche myself up for it.’
A rapture rushed through her, warming her body. They were like two halves which fitted together perfectly, lost to each other but now found. Without knowing, and like at so many other points in their lives, their actions today had mirrored one another’s, each of them taking a risk to live the lives they wanted.
Skye let out a laugh of joy and relief.
‘Don’t apologize.’ She flung her arms around him afresh, squeezing him tightly for a second, before moving back a little to speak. ‘How did your mum take it?’
Bear grimaced. ‘She was disappointed. But also upset that I’d not told her before. She can’t be that annoyed, though, or she wouldn’t have agreed to letting me borrow this to come back and see you.’
A kind of calm descended over Skye, as if the universe had found harmony once more. She leaned in, and kissed him once more.
‘It’s as well you did, really,’ said Skye, when she could again think clearly. ‘Seeing as I trashed my car and almost got struck by lightning as a result.’
A car pulled onto the road ahead, drawing Skye’s attention. ‘Oh, look! There’s Holly, Hamish and Paolo. Oh, and Chloe too. Do you think it’s safe to get out now?’
‘The rain has eased off,’ said Bear. ‘So I’d imagine so. Hey, before you get out, where were you planning on staying tonight?’
Skye grinned. ‘It’ll be a shame not to enjoy my four-poster this weekend, but I think a B&B, don’t you?’
She stopped, and squinted ahead. ‘Oh my gosh! Terrible timing, but hold that thought.’
A fifth figure had got out of the car. With more white hair than when she had last seen him, and a very fine tan, Uncle Hugh stormed towards the car with intent.
Skye leapt out, and ran towards him. ‘Uncle Hugh! I’m so glad you’re here.’
He took his glasses off and eyeballed her. ‘I get back from holidays, call Holly for an update on the surgery, and turns out all this is going on! Why didn’t you try harder to get hold of me? If I’d known you were here I’d have come back immediately,’ he said gruffly. Then he beamed. ‘Come here.’
‘For that exact reason,’ said Skye. She threw her arms around him. ‘But I’ve been very well looked after in your absence. And you know what? I’ve had a wee crisis, but I think everything’s going to be OK.’
‘Well, I’m very glad to hear it.’ Hugh smiled.
She looked over to the doe, who was being treated by the roadside. ‘Is the deer going to be OK?’
Hugh put a hand on her arm. ‘We’ll see, we’ll see. I’ll let Holly work her magic. And who is this?’
Hugh peered around Skye, who spun round to see Bear approaching.
‘Ah,’ said Skye. ‘There’s someone I’d like you to meet.’