Chapter 50
Chapter Fifty
Hallie
I t’s almost three in the morning when Julie drops me off at my house. I walk in the front door; it’s silent and dark, except for the light on over the kitchen stove. The light was off when I left, which means Ben literally did leave a light on for me. The thought of him walking through my house, turning off the lights for the night, but flipping this one on so I didn’t walk into complete darkness when I got home has emotion clogging my throat.
This is what I want, I realize. To leave lights on for each other when we need to work late. To share space with Ben. To share a life with Ben.
My heart full, I go to the kitchen and rummage around in my “all the things I can’t find another place for” drawer. When I find what I’m looking for, I put it on the counter, tucked out of view behind the coffee maker. Then I go upstairs to get ready for bed.
In my bedroom, I brush my teeth and wash my face as quietly as I can and slip on a sleep shirt. When I go to get into bed, I see one of my giant tumblers on my nightstand. When I open it, there’s ice all the way to the top, just the way I like. And I smile at the man responsible for it.
Ben is fast asleep in the middle of my bed, sprawled out on his back. His face is relaxed in sleep, his long blond eyelashes fanned out across his cheeks. I stand at the side of the bed, just looking at him. He is so beautiful, and he’s all mine. His right arm is flung out over my side of the bed, as if he consciously left it there, waiting for me to snuggle into. I do just that. Sliding into bed, I curl up against Ben, my head resting on his chest. His arm comes around me instantly, securing me firmly to his side. He rolls towards me, bringing his other arm around me and pressing a kiss into my hair.
“Missed you, Hallie girl,” he mumbles. “Proud of you.”
I kiss his chest where my head lays. “Missed you too, Benji. Go back to sleep. I’m here now.”
“It never feels right without you next to me.”
My heart squeezes. Love for him swamps me.
I go to respond, but his breathing has already evened out. He is asleep again, holding me tightly against him. Laying in the circle of Ben’s arms, the future of my career clearly laid, I feel settled and content—maybe more than I ever have been. Exhaustion threatening to overtake me, I let the warmth of Ben’s body, his steady breathing, and the beat of his heart lull me into sleep.
The sun is high in the sky when I wake up the next morning. I peer over Ben’s shoulder and am shocked to see it’s after ten. After working almost all night, Jules and I decided to take the day off. We texted Molly and Emma around midnight, and they enthusiastically agreed. We’re all meeting for dinner later, but a whole day of nothing stretches before me, so I settle back down, prepared to doze until Ben wakes up. I don’t have to wait long. Ten minutes later, he stirs.
Eyes still closed, he kisses my neck, whispering, “Morning, Hallie girl.”
Ben slides his lips up my neck and across my jaw, then takes my mouth in a kiss full of heat and desire. Tongue tangling with mine, the hand wrapped around my hip starts roaming my body. Lips never leaving mine, his fingers creep under my shirt to rub over my nipple, sending lust straight through me. Then he glides his hand down my stomach and below the waistband of my underwear. He drags his fingers through my slit, dipping his index finger inside me where I’m hot and needy.
“Fuck, Hallie, you’re so wet for me.”
Ben uses my wetness to lightly circle my clit, and I let out a whimper, moving my hips in search of more friction. Crashing his mouth to mine, he sinks two fingers inside me, curling them up while his thumb takes over strumming my clit. It feels so good that I moan into his mouth, right on the edge already. But I want more.
Tearing my mouth away from his, I whisper, “I want you inside me. Please.”
“It would be my absolute pleasure.” Ben rolls me onto my back, tugs my shirt over my head, and slides my underwear down my legs, where I kick them away. He strips off his briefs and moves back to press his lips to mine while he hooks an arm under one of my knees, pushing my legs apart. In a single motion, he slides inside of me, and our twin moans shatter the quiet morning.
“You feel so good, Hallie girl. There’s nowhere I would rather be than inside you.”
Ben starts to move, dragging in and out of me lazily, hitting my clit at the perfect angle on every stroke. Dizzy with pleasure, I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He never stops moving, his breath rasping in and out next to my ear, sending shivers up and down my body. I tighten my arms and legs around him trying to get closer, but there is no close that is close enough. I must say that out loud because Ben speaks then, his hips continuing to roll against mine.
“For me either, Hallie. You are my everything. Everything begins and ends with you.”
Keeping one forearm on the bed next to my head to support his weight, Ben slides his other arm under me, holding my hips even more firmly against him while he continues to thrust in and out of me. The sensation of him so deep inside me, his hips rolling against my clit, has me climbing higher and higher until my whole body is shaking and begging for release.
“Ben, I can’t...I’m so close.
“Come for me, Hallie girl. Show me you’re mine.”
Ben speeds up his rhythm, holding me impossibly tighter. He angles his hips so he hits the perfect spot inside me, and I shatter, crying out my release against his ear as pleasure rolls through me.
“Fuck, Hallie. You’re perfect. So perfect. And mine. You’re all mine.”
“I’m yours,” I whisper. “Always. I love you.”
That sends Ben over the edge. He pulls his arm out from under me and anchors it by my head. He seals his mouth over mine and kisses me deeply as his hips lose their rhythm.
“Fuck, fuck, I’m coming.” Ben groans into my mouth and I feel his release pour into me.
I’m still clinging to him like a koala when he rolls us onto our sides and brings his forehead to mine. We’re both breathing hard, chests rising and falling rapidly as we try to take in oxygen.
“I love you too, Hallie. Sometimes, I can’t believe I get to be here with you like this every day.”
My chest aches thinking of all the years he watched me, wishing we could be together.
“I wish I had looked more closely. Maybe this would have happened sooner.”
He kisses the tip of my nose and leans back to look at me. “I think it happened exactly when it was supposed to happen. We are right where we need to be.”
“We are, aren’t we?”
“Absolutely. But pretty soon, the kitchen is where we need to be, because I’m fucking starving. What do you think? Shower and then coffee and breakfast?”
“Are you doing the cooking and the coffee making?”
“You know it, Hal.”
“Then I say that sounds absolutely perfect.”
Half an hour later, I sit at my kitchen counter, an iced coffee with milk and one Splenda in front of me, watching Ben whipping eggs for omelets in a bowl.
“It’s kind of becoming our thing, huh? You making me breakfast every morning so I don’t starve. And you giving me the exact coffee I want, even though I just decided in my head ten minutes ago and didn’t say it out loud, and not telling me how you do it.”
“It is our thing. I hope we have lots of things.”
“How do you do it, anyway?”
“I told you; I see you, Hallie girl.”
I knew he would say that, obviously, and while it used to make me wild with curiosity, it doesn’t anymore. Not much, anyway. Because Ben really does see right down to the core of me. And it turns out, it’s an extraordinary gift to be seen in this way. A life-changing gift. One I wouldn’t trade for anything. All I want in my life is more of this. More of Ben and me. More mornings in the kitchen and quiet nights spent wrapped around each other. As many as I can get. And speaking of which…
“I have something for you.”
He looks up from the eggs. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yep.” I stand and go to the coffee maker, reaching behind it to pull out the key I hid there last night. I turn and take Ben’s hand, pressing the key into it. He stares down at it for a second and then back at me, his blue eyes swimming with emotion.
I reach for his other hand and hold on tight.
“You left a light on for me last night.”
“I told you I would.”
“I know you did, but when I came in at three in the morning and saw it, it made me realize that I never want to come home late again to a quiet house where no one has left any lights on for me. I never want to come home again without knowing that you’re here. I know it hasn’t been that long, and maybe this is too much, too soon. But I want to live with you. All the time.”
“Yes,” Ben says quickly.
“That’s it? Just, yes?”
“Hallie, I’ve been waiting eleven years for you to be mine. It’s not too soon. Just, yes. One hundred percent yes.”
“Okay, well, I know how much you love your loft, so it doesn’t have to be at my house. The key is more of a symbolic thing.”
He chuckles. “Hallie, I love my loft, but it was never meant to be permanent for me. I stayed there all these years because it was easy. I want to build a life with you, right here. In this house you bought and made a home. This is your place, and now it will be our place.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. I want this with you. I want everything with you. You’re my forever, Hallie girl. And I’m yours.”
Ben cups my face in his hands and lays his lips to mine. The kiss says things like, “I love you,” and “I promise,” and “I’m yours,” and “forever.” It is the best kiss of my life, and when Ben pulls away and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug, I’m home.
Ben is my home.
And I will do my damnedest to make sure that I am his.
“I love you, Hallie girl,” he whispers in my ear.
“I love you too, Benji. So, so much. When you move in here, can you bring your couch?”
He laughs then, untangling us from each other. “Anything you want, Hal. Now go sit down. I have breakfast to make. Gotta feed my girl.”
I take my seat back at the counter and watch Ben make breakfast. I fill him in on last night with Julie, and he tells me about some plans he has for the bar now that he officially turned down the Stonegate deal. We fill each other in on our plans for the day and little bits and pieces of our lives, and it is extraordinary in its ordinariness.
When breakfast is ready, Ben puts a plate in front of me and kisses me on the forehead before taking the seat next to me with a plate of his own. I sit in my kitchen over breakfast and the perfect cup of coffee with the man I love straight down to the very bottom of my soul. The one who loves me just exactly as I am.
And there is nowhere in the world I would rather be.