Chapter 26
Hayleigh
Hayleigh’s List
· Dance at the movies
· Kissing in the rain
· Do something out of my comfort zone
· Go on a Ferris Wheel
· Buy my own place and decorate!
· Eat cake in bed
· Get over my fear of clowns
· Learn something new
· Attend a cookery class
· Safari
· Tell Morgana no!!
Last week, Nate taught me how to make the basic shape of the box and every day since, we’ve spent an hour working on the finer details. I now know how to plane wood to make it smoother, and yesterday he had me practising curving the edges.
I’ve loved every minute of it, not only because I get to spend time with him but also because it’s giving me purpose at a time when my life feels so purposeless. It doesn’t help that seeing him in the workshop, his top off and his body on display, gets me all hot and bothered.
On our third day in there, I may have stripped down naked while his back was turned and bent over a solid wood table he’d finished that morning.
It was cold, but the smooth wood brushed softly against my body as I flattened my top half across it.
I still remember the look on Nate’s face when he turned around, his eyes widened as he took in the scene in front of him.
I spread my legs apart as far as I could and wiggled my bare arse from side to side.
He dropped whatever was in his hand and strode over to me, dropping to his knees while worshipping me with his mouth.
When I asked him to fuck me, hard, he didn’t disappoint.
I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard before.
I was almost sad when the client came to pick up the table a few hours later, because I wanted to keep it as a memento, but Nate told me I had to wait inside. I couldn’t stop laughing when they turned up, gushing about how smooth and pretty it was.
The thing that amazed me the most? Was the fact that I didn’t bat an eyelid at the vulnerability that comes with getting naked.
Before, I was always critiqued, as if I were on show somehow.
What I ate, what I drank and what I wore were all controlled to some degree.
It had gotten to the point where I dreaded getting undressed and being intimate. It all felt robotic and unfeeling.
Until Nate.
Somehow, he makes me feel everything.
I check my watch, it’s almost time to meet Emmy, we’re doing a bit of retail therapy and lunch in town. I’ve missed my best friend so much, and that’s on me, because I couldn’t get past the fact that I believed I was responsible for her pain.
So I grab my things and fire off a quick text to let her know that I’m on my way. It doesn’t take long before I’m pulling up outside of their home, where she’s already waiting in her garden, waving like crazy.
As soon as I park up, I jump out. “Come here, I need a hug.” I sing a song as I walk over to her, throwing my arms around her.
She squeezes me back. “Are you okay?”
When I pull back and look at her, I nod. “I think I am, you know.”
**********
Our feet ache from shopping, and my arms hurt from carrying all the bags, but there is no way I am letting Emmy carry anything in her condition. Despite how much she tells me she’s pregnant, not made of glass. Still, I’d rather not.
I roll my eyes as she attempts to steal one of the bags back. “You’re carrying precious cargo there, Missy. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you carry these heavy bags?”
Emmy snorts. “They’re literally clothes, as light as anything.”
“Pfft, light as anything. Come on, I’m starved, let's go to CoCo’s for food.”
Distraction techniques work a charm as Emmy’s face lights up. “Ooh, that’s a good idea.”
We walk in and take our seats in the corner booth. I shove all our bags to one side while Emmy’s already grabbing for the menu. I laugh as her eyes scan the options for what she wants.
We each decide to order steak slices, onions, and cheese on a baguette, with salad and fries. The server brings our drinks, and we both opt for mocktails. It feels a little awkward between us, but then I know it’s in my head, and I need to get better at communicating.
“Emmy.” I wring my hands in front of me on the table.
Emmy covers my hands with her own. “Take your time. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I offer a smile and take comfort in her strength. “I know that you said you don’t blame me for anything that happened, but I still feel partly to blame. I feel like I should’ve seen it coming because I spent so much time covering for Pete and his behaviour that it became the norm for me.”
Emmy’s smile is kind. “I always believed you were the perfect couple, but Hayleigh, I didn’t see any cracks. He was extremely clever at hiding his true self.”
I shrug one shoulder. “Cas figured it out, but I didn’t.”
“I guess he did, but he was an outsider, and Pete had already wound himself through your brain. He was cruel, and he knew exactly how to act in front of others so that if you ever told anyone how he was with you, then you’d be the crazy one.”
I nodded. “I felt like the crazy one, but I don’t anymore…” I trail off as Emmy cocks a brow.
“Okay, I’ve let you have your time, but now I want the truth. What are you and Nate?”
Oh god, I don’t even know myself.
I shake my head, huffing out a laugh. “I have no idea, but I do know that he’s amazing in every way. He makes me feel seen, Emmy. I don’t feel scared with him, more like I can take on the world.”
She nods. “It’s because you have someone beside you who has your back.”
“The only way I can explain it is that my life was set in stone before I met Nate. It went in one straight line, following my list, but with Nate, he created a new list for me, and he didn’t laugh at the things I wanted to put on it; he supported me with them.
He doesn’t belittle me, he lifts me up.”
Emmy tilts her head to the side. “Sounds like there’s a but coming?”
Shaking my head slightly, I offer a watery smile. “Not with him, it’s with me. I’m scared, Em. Scared that what I didn’t notice with Pete I could miss again. What if I make the mistake of letting go only to find out it wasn’t the right thing to do?”
“I’m not going to sit here and tell you that what you’re doing is right; that isn’t for me to decide, but I can tell you that you’re not stupid, Hayleigh.
Deep down, you knew what Pete was like, but because he was so good at manipulating everyone around him, people couldn’t help but fall in line. That isn’t on you.”
I smile at her. “I’m happy that you’re finally who you’re supposed to be.”
She wiggles in her seat. “Why, thank you. So come on, tell me what else Nate Peterson is good at.”
My cheeks heat. “Sex. The sex is off the charts–” I laugh my head off when Emmy puts her fingers in her ears, singing la-la-la.
She shakes her head. “Please don’t, not the details, I can’t.” She fakes gagging, and we both crack up laughing. She sobers up and rests her head on her hand, smiling. “Honestly, I’m happy you’re happy, and I’m glad you’re finally opening up.”
I open my mouth to respond, but I don’t get a chance when a voice speaks up from the side of our table, a voice that feels like thousands of tiny icicles are piercing my skin.
“Hi, Emmy, Hayleigh. How are you?”
I turn in my seat, taking a quick look at Emmy to make sure she’s okay before coming face to face with none other than Emmy’s piece of shit ex and Pete’s worthless brother, Chad, or Count Dickless as we used to call him.
I cross my arms, not letting the fact that he’s hanging over us both get to me. I level him with my best I’m-a-bitch-stare. “Chad, what a displeasure it is seeing you here. What do you fucking want?”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “I deserved that–”
I cut him off. “You’re damn right you deserve it. I thought you didn’t live here anymore?”
He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I don’t, but I was here to…” He trails off, looking at Emmy with sudden unease.
I click my fingers. “Hey, eyes back here, you don’t need to talk to her.”
His eyes cut to me before he wipes a hand down his face. “Okay, I’m just going to say this. My father died of a heart attack, and my mother is petitioning the courts and using all the power she has to get Pete out on supervised visits, firstly to attend the funeral and–”
“To get him out for good?” I finish off for him, and he nods. A skittering of fear rushes through me when I think of Pete getting out.
I don’t know what to say or what to think. I know I should have some witty comeback, but I freeze, and that look he’s giving me makes me want to puke – Pity.
“Thanks for letting us know, Chad, but we aren’t interested in anything your brother says or does, and if he comes near any of us, know his life won’t be worth living.” Emmy’s voice floats through the air, as cold as steel, but it does the trick.
Chad nods once before turning to leave, stopping and turning back to face us.
“I realise I did a lot of shitty things to you, Emmy, but I did love you in my own way, and I wanted you to know I’m against Pete’s release.
” With that, he turns and walks away as if he hasn’t dropped a giant shit bomb on us both.
The server turns up a few moments later, placing our food on the table, but my appetite has gone; the flavours smell rotten, and the food turns to ash in my mouth. I push my plate away and bury my face in my hands as sobs wrack through my body.
Emmy’s arms encircle me. “We’re in this together, you and I.
It doesn’t matter what happens with him; he doesn’t get to decide what we do with the rest of our lives.
He doesn’t get that privilege of seeing you shine, and you will shine, Hayleigh, because I promise you, after every storm breaks, the sun’s right there waiting for you. ”
“I love you, Emmy.” I return her squeeze and ground myself with her strength.
She whispers in my ear. “Not as much as I love you.”
**********
After dropping Emmy and all of her bags off at her home, I drive straight home myself. I need to process what Chad had told us today. I drag my bags out of the boot and fish through my handbag for my keys.
When I open the door, I quickly drop the bags on the floor and lock it behind me. As I look down, an envelope lies on the mat, snagging my attention. Dread seeps through my insides, churning my stomach until the contents from today threaten to make an appearance.
I bend to collect the envelope, but I already know what’s inside it because it’s the same as the last one. That haunting off-white colour, the address from the facility where Pete currently resides, albeit possibly temporary. What I don’t understand is how he knows where I live.
But then of course. I do know.
His mother.
And I bet everything I own that my mother told her where to find me.
I wait for the feeling of betrayal to hit me, but it doesn’t.
I don’t know fully what that means, but I do know that I’m no longer going to let my family, no, not my family, Morgana and Frank Wallcroft, decide what I do with the present or the future.
I should want to scream and shout at her, but I realise that it’s pointless; she doesn’t care, she never has. I take out my phone and re-read the message I received from Thea last week, and I can’t help but feel that something still doesn’t sit right in my gut.
Thea
I’ve decided to go ahead with the wedding. We’ve postponed it by four weeks. You are no longer invited, and I think it’s best you stay away for good.
I honestly believed we were growing closer together. I thought she wanted out and away from them, but she was too scared to push for that. I was so sure, but maybe I was wrong.
My phone ringing interrupts me, and when I look down, a genuine smile blooms on my face as Nate’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hello, handsome.”
His voice has me smiling as he replies. “Hi, beautiful. So I’ve managed to get you a cooking lesson.”
I grip the phone a little tighter as my throat closes. This man, the way that he thinks of me and my stupid list.
I clear my throat. “Oh, wow, really?”
He laughs. “It isn’t with a Michelin chef or anything, but she is free tomorrow.”
My brows crease together. “Nate, tomorrow is Sunday. What place offers lessons on a Sunday?”
“May Peterson does. It’s our monthly Sunday dinner, and you’re invited. I was telling mum about your list and how you only have a few things left to tick off, including cooking. She offered to help.”
“I’m invited?” I hate how uncertain I sound.
“You’re important to all of us, Hayleigh, but more so to me. I want you there, always.”
I nod my head even though he can’t see me. “Okay.”
He talks to me about his day, and I listen intently to his voice about how excited he is with the new job he’s taken on, and I find myself not wanting to hang up. I want to know everything he has to say.
He makes me feel like I’m important to him, and for the first time ever in my life, I truly believe that. It’s part of the reason I don’t want to tell him about Pete; I don’t want this conversation to end with him worrying.