Chapter 19 #2
The addictiveness was the worst part. People used and used until it eventually killed them.
Taking away access to the poppy only made it worse.
Everything about it was horrific. How quickly it destroyed the body, how painful the withdrawals were.
It was a way to escape the horrors around them, to escape the pain for a little while.
Seventeen months passed from the first day they heard rumors of beasts to the day they fled Klees, and in that time the poppy took over the streets.
She remembered seeing the addicts from her window before they’d been forced to flee.
The way their bodies had floated right up into the air, hovering a story or two high, pressed against a building or tree where the wind had slowly blown them.
They’d drifted over the walls of the family’s fortress a time or two, bumped up against her shutters even.
She’d never forget the random thuds and cracking sounds when the drug had worn off and the addicts suddenly crashed back to the ground.
Hopefully dying on impact, if they were lucky.
And then they’d given it to her father.
Karvek tossed the flower back, and the baskets were carried off once more, Iryana unable to keep her eyes from following the blonde-haired soldier with the poppies. She felt ill, like the contents of her stomach were about to surge out of her.
“There will be changes to come, but for now, get back to work.”
Slowly, everyone filtered away. Iryana caught Vaneshta’s eyes for a brief moment before she turned away.
When Iryana finally pulled her attention from the direction the golden-haired soldier had taken the poppies, long since out of sight, she found Karvek standing right in front of her.
His face was intense but playful, like it had been the first few times she had met him in his study.
“I think we can do great things.” He tilted his head slightly, the sharp edge of his jaw casting a shadow down his neck. “You have so much potential. I hope you see that now.”
Iryana swallowed. Why did he have to say those things?
“No one here sees you, not the way I do. Beneath the surface, you are so full of pain, of rage.” He leaned closer to her. Could he see her shame? “I have so many plans.”
He didn’t wait for her to answer before he was moving away from her. Was that the only kind of person that could accept her for what she was? Someone just as broken? Someone willing to kill for what he wanted?
Iryana stumbled back toward the barracks, taking a side road to avoid the crowd still working their way back.
Then another Horvol was blocking her path, staring down at her with tormented blue eyes.
Gods, he knew why she was at Midmarket now.
“What do you want, Pyetar?” she demanded. She needed to be alone.
“You helped my brother do this? Why?” Pyetar’s voice was a growl. “Do you have any idea what you’ve helped him do?”
Iryana closed her eyes to find red, blood pouring over the floor. Her voice was a strangled rasp. “I didn’t know what he was going to do.”
Pyetar shook his head. “I don’t believe you’re that na?ve. You just helped my brother start a war. The only person keeping Karvek in check is now dead, thanks to you.”
“He was already in charge here, so it can’t be that different,” she said weakly. She couldn’t help the twist of her stomach, though. Karvek had killed so easily, no hesitation. Controlled her in a way that left her feeling sick.
She had done what she had to do to earn Karvek’s trust. Even if she had known what he was doing, she would have played along, right? She couldn’t worry about the soldiers when the future of her family was being threatened.
Pyetar shook his head. “You are so blind. For all the things you’ve called me, you’re the one that helped a monster.
You think the drug operation is mine? It’s always been Karvek.
” Pyetar stared at her, the look somewhere between pleading and desperation.
“He won’t stop. I was trying to—no, it doesn’t matter. ”
Iryana reared back, trying to keep her voice quiet enough to avoid drawing attention.
“Why would I expect anything but the worst from you, after all you’ve done to my family?
You beat up my cousin! Threatened my grandmother, my entire family!
I’ve seen the way you discipline the soldiers here. That’s been all you!”
Everything about him was tense. “I never claimed to be a good man. But my brother is worse, I assure you.”
Even so, what did it matter? Pyetar clearly wanted people to fear him, so why would she bother looking for whatever motives he supposedly had beneath that? It wasn’t even worth arguing with him.
“What do you want from me?” she asked wearily.
“I want you to stop helping my brother.”
An uneasy feeling twisted into her stomach, but just being against his brother and his schemes didn’t make Pyetar good. Didn’t make him worthy of her trust.
She wanted to pull her hair out. “You’re asking me to choose you as the lesser of two evils? Why? Can you make me a soldier of the 18th? Can you give me a place here?”
Pyetar’s eyes shuttered, his jaw tightening. “Is that really more important than the atrocities Karvek will commit?”
For her, yes. It had to be. “If you don’t have another option for me, we’re done here.” She moved to step around him.
“There are other brigades. Further south, I know the—”
“No,” she cut him off. She couldn’t go further from her family. “Not going to happen. It has to be the 18th.”
Pyetar pressed his palm against his forehead as if a deep ache was building because of her. “My brother loves power, and now he can operate in the open. You have no idea what he’s been doing. He wants more territory; he wants influence. And he’s going to start a war to get it.”
She sucked in a breath. She’d been so distracted by the poppies that she had forgotten that part of Karvek’s speech.
“That can’t happen.” If it did, things would only be worse for her clan.
How was she supposed to show the duchess they could control their post, with a war going on beyond their wall?
“You should go home to your family.”
“I can’t.” For so many reasons, she couldn’t, especially now.
She needed Karvek on her side; it was the only way to the metal well—but she was so out of her depth. There wasn’t much time left if Karvek was truly going to start a war. Did she even have until winter?
Pyetar watched her, and she thought she saw a flicker of understanding. Her anger faltered for a moment. Perhaps he was as trapped as she was.
She couldn’t take back what she had helped Karvek do, wouldn’t dare give back his approval even if it were possible.
But maybe Pyetar wasn’t as much her enemy as she’d thought.
Maybe they could be on the same side in wanting to prevent a war.
She just couldn’t under any circumstances let Karvek find out.
“We’re both stuck here,” she said carefully, watching his reaction closely. “And neither of us want a war.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He sighed and shook his head, then spun on his feet and stormed off.
Iryana leaned against the barracks wall beside her, the sun-warmed stones soothing.
Everything was a mess, and she had no idea if she had made things irreparably worse. She just had to hope she could fix it before she had to tell Hadima what she’d done.
Iryana slipped into her room that afternoon, only to freeze when she saw Vaneshta sitting on her bed and staring at the wall.
It was the first time she’d been alone with Vaneshta since she’d gotten back that morning.
Iryana hadn’t been avoiding her, but she certainly hadn’t been looking for her either.
“Uh, hi.”
Vaneshta looked over; a bored look on her face. “Oh, look. She’s back.”
Iryana wanted to turn around and leave. Avoid the awkwardness and hope she could find someone else to room with instead. But that wasn’t an option, and Vaneshta being mad at her wouldn’t help. She didn’t want Vaneshta to be mad at her, to blame her like she blamed herself.
“Look, I’m sorry,” she burst out. “The major—I mean the general—said I couldn’t tell anyone. And I don’t think Karvek is someone I can disobey.”
Sharp eyes pierced her and held her there for an excruciating amount of time. “Has he accepted you into the 18th yet? For your service?”
Iryana looked at her feet, stomach dropping beneath the floor. “Uh, no. Not yet.”
“Whatever. You’re still on the team. And I need us to work together.”
Iryana nodded quickly. “Me too.”
“Besides, at least one good thing came out of this. A less psychopathic captain.”
Iryana frowned. “Who is it?”
Vaneshta glared at her like there was something wrong with her. “Pyetar, obviously. Weren’t you there when he was belted as Darish’s replacement?”
Great.
“Well, yeah. I just didn’t realize that meant he’d be our captain…”
“I don’t know what your problem is with him.” Vaneshta sank onto her bed, dangling her feet off the edge. “He may be a dick, but he’ll keep those he’s in charge of alive. Can’t be mad about that.”
She wanted to argue, but Iryana remembered the way Pyetar had taken charge when they’d been repairing defenses outside the wall and the dakii attacked.
“Perhaps there could be worse choices,” Iryana admitted generously.
Vaneshta rolled her eyes, but a slight smile tipped her lips. “Don’t be so overcome.”
“I’ll try.” Iryana stepped a little further into the room, shuffling awkwardly.
“So now that your super secret mission for our great and glorious general is finished… are you done sneaking around?”
“I hope so.” Gods, she really hoped so. At least on Karvek’s behalf.
“Good, because I’m not above kicking your ass to get you in line.” Vaneshta pointed at her. “I mean it.”
“Yes, Sena.”
Iryana stirred her bowl of stew absently, scanning the room carefully.