Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Pyetar was breathing heavily, staring her down from the doorway to her room.
He looked like he had at the end of his last fight: wild and out of control.
He wore a fresh shirt, the sleeves pushed up to show the bandages on his left forearm and the gauze wrapped around his right hand.
The blood on the side of his face was gone, just an angry gash left on his temple.
“Did you not hear me at all when I warned you about my brother?” he snapped.
“I heard you. I know he’s dangerous.”
That only seemed to make him angrier. “Then why are you putting yourself at risk with him? I’ve told you what he’s done, what he’s capable of.” He sucked in a quick breath. “And then you try to protect me? Anger him on purpose?”
Iryana took a step closer to him, the room feeling smaller than it had a few moments ago.
“I don’t have a choice, Pyetar.”
“You’ve been so reckless. There are better ways. Safer ways.” He ran a hand over his head, as if he couldn’t stand being still. “Don’t let Karvek get close to you. You’ll get yourself hurt.”
She bristled. “I am here to help my family by preventing Karvek’s war, not to protect myself. I have been at risk almost every day since coming here; this is no different. And I can take care of myself.”
“But I don’t want him to hurt you,” Pyetar pleaded, his voice raw. “I can’t stand to watch him take control of you like he has me. To have his hands around your neck too.”
The tenderness and despair in his eyes made Iryana take a step back in confusion. Her hands were still trembling, but now for a different reason. He shouldn’t be looking at her like that.
Her voice was soft when she said, “I’m here to save my family, no matter what happens to me.”
“Of course it matters.” His face contorted with pain. “I am working to weaken his control of the valley. I have plans; I just need you to be patient.”
“I don’t have time to wait for that! The Second is dead, and there is no one who can be Third. They actually thought I could…” She shook her head with a bitter laugh. “Never mind. Everything I have done will have been for nothing if Karvek just makes it all worse by starting a war!”
The grief surged back to the surface, overwhelming her so completely that she had to close her eyes to keep it in. The room was silent while she wrestled for control of herself until she could open her eyes again.
Pyetar seemed to digest the news, his eyes flicking between hers. With the way he was watching her, Iryana didn’t notice that he was moving closer until he was right in front of her.
“He will destroy you, break you apart until you are just pieces he can move about at his will.”
“It doesn’t matter; I’ll take it. I have to.” Even though the thought terrified her. “I am already broken; he can’t hurt me more.”
Pyetar started shaking his head, reaching for her.
“You don’t understand.” She pulled back. “As long as I can see this through, protect my family, it will be worth it, no matter the cost.” The truth of those words hit her.
She shook at the possibility of them looking at her in revulsion, in disappointment and distrust. Iryana clenched her hands, forcibly closing them into fists. She would do what it took. Whatever that meant.
Her voice was firm as she said, “I have wrongs to right.”
“I don’t want this for you.” His brow furrowed, warring emotions swirling in his eyes. “Let me handle this. You can stay away from my brother.”
Pain twisted her guts. She needed him to understand, to keep his distance. “You need to stop worrying about me. This was never going to end well. Give up on saving me.”
“I can’t.”
Those words knocked the breath out of her. Her eyes blew wide, lips parting. How could someone seem so willing to risk themselves for her? She searched his face for some sign that he didn’t really mean it. That the world still operated as she thought.
Anger set his jaw in a hard line, but something else had scrunched his brow and lit the fire in his eyes. Despite her best efforts, she saw hunger. Want.
A shudder ran through her, and Iryana tried to shake off the feeling that sank deep inside her in recognition. Why did he have to be so attractive? Why did her body have to react to him the way it did?
She couldn’t help but think his insistence on protecting her was cruel. To make her think there was someone she could rely on, someone who would still be there when it really mattered. It was all a lie.
And yet…
Fear and the desire to run battled with the quaking in her chest. Pyetar seemed frozen too—until his gaze dipped down to her mouth.
She couldn’t help the small sound that escaped her lips.
With a suddenness that didn’t leave her a moment for questioning, they moved toward each other. Finally, in agreement. The moment his lips met hers, all thoughts fled.
She clung to him as he pulled her closer. Her hands tangled in his hair; his wrapped around her waist. Warmth flooded through her from his body pressed so tight to hers. It felt so good.
Pyetar kissed her desperately, as if the act itself could keep her safe.
His mouth was hot, moving urgently against hers as if pleading with her.
Her chest was still tight from the panic and despair of the last few days, but it only drove her further into a frenzy.
She couldn’t kiss him deeply enough, couldn’t get close enough.
One of his hands slid up her back and over her shoulders. He cupped her jaw, thumb trailing over her cheek. Then his hand slid back to her neck, tilting her head back to deepen their kiss even further. Iryana groaned against him.
The way he was touching her—it was almost reverent. She should have expected it after the way he’d taken care of her injuries. The way he’d carried her after rescuing her from the dakii.
Mere whispers of thoughts crept in, only to be batted away by another kiss, another touch.
This isn’t what it’s supposed to feel like.
Pyetar sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, and her whole body tightened. Her hands dragged down his shoulders, gripping the soft white fabric of his shirt, holding him close as he resumed their desperate kissing.
This is nothing like being with the others. This is more than cold, physical touches to drive the loneliness away.
She trailed her tongue against his lips, and his chest vibrated with a deep groan. His hands grew wild, sliding along her back, her arms, down her side.
This won’t last.
The heat of his breath trailed along her jaw. A soft gasp escaped her lips as her head tilted back even more. His lips pressed to her neck, and a shiver raced down her spine.
She would drive him away.
Iryana slowly moved backwards, pulling him with her, until her legs hit the side of the bed. Pyetar lifted her, sitting her on the bed. Her legs wrapped around him, and he started tugging at the few straps of her armor she had fastened.
He would see her, see what she was really like. The pieces.
He pressed against her, and the jolt of need through her body had her back arching. His hands traced a fevered path up her thigh as she ripped his shirt free from his pants and pressed her hands to the hard muscles of his stomach. Need coiled through her body.
“Iryana,” he whispered. Half-groan, half-plea. He stilled against her, clutching her even tighter.
The pain that would bring…
She froze.
With a groan, Pyetar tore away from her. He bumped into the table at the center of the room in his rush to get away, his hands raised as if to ward her off.
Iryana stared wide-eyed at him, her chest still heaving. Oh no, no, no, her mind screamed. What had she done? She had to take it back. Then she realized the way he was looking at her.
He stared back with undeniable horror on his face. Almost as if he weren’t even seeing her. A shudder worked through her body, and she felt naked. Exposed.
“We—we can’t,” he gasped, shaking his head. His shirt was still hanging open; she could see the muscles along his chest straining as he heaved in each breath.
Her stomach tightened, but she let out a relieved sigh. They couldn’t. He was right.
That would be that. She wouldn’t have to worry about him getting too close.
Before she could tell him she agreed, that they could go their separate ways and pretend it never happened, Pyetar fled from the room.
Iryana stared at the slightly ajar door, telling herself it was a good thing. Now he knew; now he would keep his distance. But she felt worse than before, far worse. The ache in her heart throbbed even harder. She shouldn’t have let him get so close, shouldn’t have dropped her guard.
Not bothering to fix the straps of her armor or grab the rest of it, Iryana slung the meager bag she’d packed over her shoulder and slipped out of her room.
There was no time to regret her choice. She had a duty to her family.
She had a field of poppies to burn.
The night was oppressive, cloying and reeking of pine. Every cracked branch, shifting creature, and change in the sky had her tensing up again. Now that she finally had a plan, Iryana was terrified of it being taken away from her.
But she was here now.
Iryana stepped through the trees, taking in the vast field of dark purple and black resting in the moonlight. A shiver crept over her skin, making her hair stand on end.
The flowers were small, so delicate looking, to cause such trouble.
Confirming she was alone, and no one was stationed at the field like she’d feared, Iryana dropped her bag by a spindly pine.
It wouldn’t be until at least tomorrow before a patrol came past this area; she had confirmed with the maps in Karvek’s office when he wasn’t there.
A danger of its own, but she wouldn’t think of that.
She gave herself a moment to imagine the flowers burning, Karvek’s soldiers finding the patch in ashes come morning. Then she got to work.