Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Throughout the next day, she’d gone through the motions.
Trained, went on a short afternoon mission, and then sat through an agonizingly slow dinner.
The way Karvek had looked at her when they’d locked eyes across the hall—she shuddered at the reminder.
It had taken everything to keep her face neutral.
To smile at him even. But she’d made it.
Now, with the sun tucked behind the fortress walls and the waning moon watching from above, Iryana snuck through the fort.
She kept to the shadows that pooled along the fence line, carefully watching the windows along the back of the houses that lined the main road.
Her cloak and layered tunics fought against the nearly-autumn chill.
Finding the right house, Iryana heaved herself over the fence and crept along the side, stepping around a pile of firewood. She knocked on the door, barely able to breathe.
There was a chance he wouldn’t be willing to hear her out, that after everything he would turn her away. The thought was nearly crippling, but she shoved it away.
When Pyetar opened the door, he froze when he saw her. Flashes of confusion and pain moved rapidly over his face.
Iryana swallowed, at a loss for words.
He blinked and ripped his eyes away from her, leaning out of his doorway and looking around.
“No one saw me,” she assured him.
Pyetar only shushed her and pulled her into his home, quietly closing the door behind them.
Stepping into the small house and looking around, Iryana realized Pyetar had been going to bed.
His home was dark, a lantern casting light across their faces and the surrounding floor, and not much else.
She also realized he was only wearing his trousers.
The sight of his bare chest drew her attention like moths to a flame.
She had felt those muscles around her, seen the way he moved with his sword.
His forging tattoo was on display, and her eyes were as drawn to it as the dakii to their prey.
The purple-gray symbols criss-crossed his torso like chains.
Only now that she’d been through her own forging could she appreciate what his tattoos meant.
Her eyes traced the marks, his pain, his strength. Gods he was magnificent.
She’d been the one nearly undressed last time she was in his kitchen, and she still remembered the way his hands had grazed her sides as he bandaged her wounds. The way his mouth had felt against hers only a few days ago. An unwelcome feeling curled deep inside her.
With a slight squeak, Iryana looked away.
“What went wrong?”
“What?” Iryana frowned, looking back into his tired blue eyes. She forced herself to focus.
“You said you’d explain why Karvek is still a problem. Why your plan failed.” His voice was hard, cold. And he was avoiding eye contact now. “Not that you explained the plan to me in the first place, but something clearly went wrong.”
“Oh.” It felt so long ago that she’d run into him, but it had only been yesterday.
She owed him an explanation.
“I laid a trap for him,” she admitted. “To meet with the mole. My sister was going to kill him, but she failed. And Karvek almost killed her instead.”
“I’m sorry. Is she—” His eyes flickered to hers. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s recovering.” She sighed. “It was a poor plan, though; we need to think bigger if we truly want to stop him.”
“It was certainly a foolish and dangerous plan that I would have advised you against.”
Iryana flinched, but he was right. If she had talked it over with him, maybe they could have come up with something better sooner. But it was done. And she could only move forward.
An awkward silence stretched between them.
“Iryana,” he sighed. “Why are you here?” Pain laced through his voice, and it ripped at Iryana’s heart.
“I should have let you help.” She rubbed her arms, having to look away. “I should have talked to you. I should have done a lot of things.”
He deserved to know why. This is never going to happen. I don’t want it to. That’s what she’d told him, and it was a lie.
“There are things I’ve believed about myself for a very long time,” she said softly. “And I won’t pretend that I’ve moved past them. But I know I’ve been wrong about a lot. That there are people in the world I can trust. That it is worth trusting some people.”
She sighed. Gods, why couldn’t she find the right words?
“I know I’ve been pushing everyone away, and that it’s made things harder.
And that I have hurt the people who were just trying to help me.
” She peeked at Pyetar, who was staring at her intensely now.
“I’ve hurt you, and I never wanted to. I was—I was afraid of hoping.
Thought it would be better to never have you than to lose you.
I don’t know what I’m asking for, what I’m offering.
Don’t know if you will ever forgive me. I won’t ask you to. But I am sorry.”
She closed her eyes and held her breath while she waited. There were so many things she wished for, especially where Pyetar was concerned. But she couldn’t let herself dwell on those things.
“I don’t know if—” he cleared his throat. “I’ll think on what you’ve said. And I appreciate your words.”
Disappointment tore through her. She’d known she pushed him too far, that he wouldn’t be able to forgive her just like that. She’d broken his heart. He might never forgive her, might never let himself feel something for her again. But they still needed to stop his brother.
“We have the same goal right now, Pyetar.” She forced herself to face him, to be brave. “And I have a plan, but I need help.”
“You mean you need my help?” There was a hint of surprise in the way his face opened up.
“The 18th needs you, Pyetar. My family needs me, and they need you.” His place was here, and hers wasn’t. “We need to take on Karvek before he gets any stronger, take control from him and his followers entirely.”
“You know that’s what I want. But nothing I’ve tried has been helping…”
“You have a relationship with the other generals, don’t you?” She hoped she wasn’t wrong. “You implied you talked to the King Commander… when he refused to help, you went to the other generals next, right?”
He narrowed his eyes slightly. “Yes, I’ve known some of them for a long time.”
Relief. She hadn’t miscalculated then. They had the in they’d need.
“Will you come with me to the other brigades? Help me convince them to join us?”
Pyetar looked toward her, his gaze trailing over her, but it was like he was seeing something else. She hadn’t a clue where his mind went, but eventually she heard him swallow.
His voice came out low. “We should start with the North and South River Brigades. They might be small, but they’re the only ones who would risk acting without the King Commander’s approval right now.”
Relief flooded through her. He was going to help. “Okay.”
“We’ll need to come up with a reason to leave the fort.” Pyetar’s voice hardened as a determined look crossed over his features. “It’s time to end this.”
They’d work together this one last time, at least.
“Vaneshta is already working on a cover. And we need to go as soon as possible.”
He looked at her, pain flashing in his eyes. “Alright.”
She offered him a grateful smile, but inside she was breaking.
Iryana met Vaneshta behind the stairs at the estate after dinner, as requested. It was loud in the hall, and Iryana had brought a bottle of honeywine to make it look like they were just chatting and drinking.
Vaneshta leaned close. “The outposts that Pyetar has, the ones you told me about, for staying out of the dakii’s notice while he’s traveling? I need him to draw them on a map for me.”
“Okay, I’ll tell him,” Iryana answered, not sure how that was going to help them.
“The dakii’s paths have been disturbed lately.” Vaneshta smiled. “No idea how that happened.”
Iryana rolled her eyes. Vaneshta was obviously to blame.
“We’re going on a scouting mission,” Vaneshta continued. “Pyetar’s entire squad. We will each be assigned a watch point in groups of two or three, hunkering down for a week to chart the dakii movements.”
“That’s brilliant.” Iryana grinned at her roommate. “What an innovative idea from our youngest sergeant.”
Vaneshta punched her lightly in the arm. “The major certainly thought so; Lidishta helped me sell him on it. I’ve been given full command of the operation.”
“Karvek is probably happy to get his brother away from Myura River while he works on his war plans,” Iryana mused.
The hall door opened, and Iryana clamped her mouth shut to avoid being overheard.
Vaneshta slumped as someone turned into the hallway, starting a drunken-sounding tirade about root vegetables.
Iryana’s heart pounded, but she pretended to be unwillingly trapped in the conversation. Took a sip of the wine.
Thankfully, the other soldier hurried past quickly once he heard what Vaneshta was talking about, likely hoping to avoid being similarly trapped.
The moment they were alone again, Vaneshta straightened. With any hint of stupor gone.
“You’re surprisingly good at that,” Iryana observed.
“I do it more than you think.” Vaneshta winked.
Iryana chuckled. “Pyetar said the River Brigades have their new headquarters at a fortress halfway between here and Rudni Castle, so it will take a few days to get there. And then we—”
“You’ll have to make it quick, but that will work. I will have you assigned with me, and Pyetar with Lidishta. To avoid suspicion.”
“You’ll be alright on your own?”
“Lidishta and I will work together, splitting the time between the two watch locations.”
Iryana nodded, hoping Vaneshta and Lidishta wouldn’t tear each other’s heads off while they were alone for a week. They’d been getting along well so far in their planning, united under mutual hatred, but that might only last so long.
“Good, when do we start?”