Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
KIKI EMMERSON
M y fingers tremble as I unzip the wedding dress. I can’t get my heart to stop racing. I knew Tobias was handsome, but I had no idea he was so charismatic. My skin is on fire. I can’t catch my breath, and my knees are so wobbly I think I might fall down.
Standing there, in his arms, I thought I was going to faint. He looked too good in that white dress shirt. I take in a deep breath and scold myself. Why am I being this way? It was nothing. Skyler wanted us to dance. So what? Why am I acting like a hormonal teenager?
I change into my cut-offs and t-shirt. I feel so underdressed in this fancy mansion, like I should be wearing a frilly dress with white gloves and a parasol. I look out the window and try to get my heart under control. I watch the waves hitting the beach. It calms me. This is the ideal life.
The smell coming from the kitchen is amazing as I walk down the stairs. I walk into the dining room and see a large stack of pancakes with ham sitting on a platter, and my guess is Skyler chose the meal tonight. It makes me grin. Pancakes were always my favorite dinner growing up, too. Skyler climbs into her chair. Tobias scoots her to the table, then sits next to her.
I can’t tell if Tobias was affected by what happened because he won’t look at me. Maybe he’s embarrassed his brother caught us slow dancing in his daughter’s bedroom while I was wearing someone else’s wedding dress. My face still feels hot.
I notice an empty place setting next to me as I sit down. “Who’s coming?”
“Micah, my youngest brother. He’s late. If we wait for him, the food will get cold.” He picks up the platter and passes it to me. “Let’s eat.”
I slide two pancakes and a piece of ham onto my plate and pass it back to him. I’m so glad I don’t have to eat gas station food tonight or sleep in that dingy hotel.
“I put the paperwork in your room.” Tobias avoids my gaze. “If you can fill it out tonight, that would be great.”
I try not to react as my stomach clenches. “Okay,” I say casually. I wonder how long I can put off filling out the paperwork before Tobias will start to suspect something. Why did I think I could just come be his nanny without him wanting details from me, like my legal name?
Skyler happily munches on her pancakes. I focus on her and her smile. She looks so much like I did at that age, it’s amazing. I can also see a bit of Randy in her, but I don’t dwell on that. I regret so much of that time of my life. I want to forget about Randy.
A teen walks in and sits at the empty seat, and I assume it’s Micah. Tobias shoots him an annoyed look. “You’re late.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles. He looks at me through his long hair. “Hi.”
Tobias motions to me. “This is Kiki. I told you about her. She’s going to be living here and taking care of Skyler. Kiki, this is Micah.”
He raises his chin and grins at me. “Nice to meet you, ma’am. My brother didn’t tell me you were so pretty.”
Heat rises to my cheeks, and I know I’m blushing. Tobias looks like his eyeballs are going to pop out of his head. I quickly grab the pancake platter, passing it to Micah. “You must be hungry.”
“Thanks.” He takes a stack of pancakes. He’s cute, in a teenager kind of way. I bet all the girls at school swoon when he walks by.
“Do you play any sports?” I ask him, trying to engage in conversation.
He shakes his head. “I ran track for a while, but I’m not into that anymore.”
I raise my eyebrows. “What are you into?”
“Music. I play the guitar. I’m saving up for some better recording equipment.”
“Oh? Do you have a job?”
He grins. “Even better. A YouTube channel.”
His grin is infectious and makes me smile back at him. “Does that bring in money for you?”
“Not yet, but it will. I’m almost at a thousand followers.”
“Nice.” I grin at him.
The conversation falls as we eat. I glance at Tobias. “You have three brothers, right? I’ve only met two.”
He nods and swallows. “Yes. Levi is in Atlanta attending college. But he’ll be coming home soon. The semester ends in a couple of weeks.”
“He didn’t tell you?” Micah says, leaning forward.
Tobias stares at this brother. “What?”
“He’s coming home early.”
A vein on Tobias’s neck bulges. He slowly shakes his head. “No, he didn’t tell me this.” His voice is measured.
Micah pinches his lips together and raises his hands. “Don’t get mad at me. I’m just letting you know.”
“Why is he coming home early?” I can tell Tobias is making an effort to speak without raising his voice.
Micah shrugs. “Got done early?”
“Finals are in two weeks. One doesn’t just ‘get done early’ from college finals.” His voice is still controlled, but I’m afraid the fork in his clenched fist is going to bend.
“Hey, maybe he took the tests already?” I say, trying to be helpful.
Tobias lets out a breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “He wants to quit school. Again. I warned him that it would be difficult to go back later. He told me he’d finish the semester before making a final decision. I guess he changed his mind.”
I swallow, sympathy shooting through me. If I could do my life over, I would take school much more seriously. I would stay out of trouble, graduate high school, and go to college. Now I’m stuck with janitorial jobs, and that’s if I’m lucky. “If you want, I can talk to him about it.”
His gaze travels over me. “What do you mean?”
“About how much I regret not going to college. Maybe he’ll listen to someone who is not so…” I pause, trying to find the right word. Grumpy isn’t it. Uptight is also the wrong word. “Close to him,” I blurt out, grateful that phrase jumped into my head.
Tobias’s gaze softens. “You’d do that?”
“Of course.”
Something shifts behind his eyes, but I can’t figure out what it means. He blinks and looks down at the table. “Thanks,” he says softly.
“Can we go to the lighthouse tonight?” Skyler asks.
Tobias picks up his knife and cuts into his ham. “It might rain. Best not to go tonight.”
Skyler frowns. “But I want to show Kiki.”
I glance out the window. “It doesn’t look overcast. I bet we could go see the lighthouse before it starts to rain.”
“Yeah, it will be fun,” Micah says. “I haven’t been there in a while.”
“Is your homework done?” Tobias raises his eyebrows.
“Yep. Finished it all.” Micah flashes a grin, and I notice he even has a dimple. I’m now sure he’s a heartbreaker at school.
“Please, Daddy?” Skyler’s eyes grow large, and I want to pick her up and take her to any lighthouse in the world.
“All right,” Tobias finally says. “But only if you eat your ham.”
Skyler nods and starts eating the small pieces of ham that Tobias cut up for her. I inwardly smile and keep that little trick for future use. In no time at all she’s finished and we’re ready to leave.
Tobias leads us to the garage where his SUV sits. Skyler buckles herself in and I climb into the seat next to her. Micah takes the front seat. “How far is the lighthouse?” I ask.
“It’s a fifteen-minute drive.” Tobias backs out of the garage. “It’s not a real lighthouse. It’s just a replica they build in Centennial Park for kids to climb on. It overlooks the ocean.”
Skyler pumps her little feet in excitement. “Can we climb to the top?”
“Sure.” Tobias pulls the car out onto the street. We drive along the shoreline. I stare out at the water, the rocks, and the bright azaleas that have been planted in the medians. What a lovely island my daughter gets to grow up on. My heart swells as I look at Skyler and think about the time I’m getting to spend with her. She was adorable today as we had our pretend tea party.
Soon we pull into a small gravel parking area. A red and white lighthouse sits amid a grassy area, along with a swing set and a couple of benches. Skyler unbuckles and we climb out. A slight breeze blows as she runs toward the lighthouse.
Micah races after Skyler. “Wait, Little Pup. I want to go up with you.”
I smile at Tobias. “Little Pup?”
He nods. “When she was a baby, she’d make these little noises, and Micah thought she sounded like a puppy. It’s stuck ever since.”
My heart warms. “That’s sweet.”
As we walk toward the lighthouse, giggles echo through the walls. I can’t help but smile.
“So, you didn’t go to college?” Tobias asks.
That familiar pang that I get in my chest when I think about how messed up my life is shoots through me. “Yeah.”
“Can I ask why not?”
I take in a deep breath. “A variety of reasons, but mostly because I was young and didn’t think school was important. Now that I’m older, I see how limited my opportunities are.” Especially with a criminal record.
“You’re not that old. You could still go to college.”
I try not to scoff at him. Besides the huge roadblock of the money involved I don’t even know if I could get into college. “Maybe,” I say to get myself out of that conversation.
“If you did, what would you study?”
I get a little annoyed that he’s asking me so many questions. I decide to turn it on him. “I don’t know. What did you study? Finance?”
We enter the lighthouse and start climbing the wooden stairs. “I actually didn’t get to go to college,” he says softly. “My parents died, and I couldn’t.”
“Oh.” Now I feel horrible for assuming and bringing up a painful subject.
The structure is about three or four stories tall, and it doesn’t take long for us to get to the top. I step out to the railing. Skyler runs to me and grabs my legs. I crouch down and lift her into my arms. I know she’s really too big to hold like this, but she feels good there. Like she belongs with me. She points out at the sea. “Kiki, do you see that big rock?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s called Seal Rock. If you look closely, it looks like a seal.”
I squint at it and can see it. “That’s cool.”
She wiggles and I set her down. “Come here. There’s more this way.”
I follow her around the top of the lighthouse, and she shows me the docks and the buoys, and the ice cream stand that isn’t too far away. Then she grabs Micah’s hand. “Let’s play pirates. You stay up here and look out for us, okay?”
“Okay.” I have no idea what playing pirates involves, but I can stay and be the lookout.
Skyler and Micah disappear down the stairs. I stand at the railing and Tobias comes to my side. The noises of Micah and Skyler clomping down the steps grows softer until we can no longer hear them.
I feel so bad for what I said earlier, I grip the railing and lower my gaze. “I’m sorry I brought up something painful.”
He shifts beside me. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.”
“I made an assumption that people with money have easy lives and can do anything they want.” Saying it out loud makes me cringe.
Tobias shakes his head. “It’s not like that.”
“I’m starting to understand.” A breeze blows through my thin t-shirt. The sun is about to set, and it’s getting cooler out.
“After my parents died, the money was a pressure, not a relief.” Tobias stares out over the ocean and swallows. “It was stifling.”
I can’t even imagine money being this way. I’ve lived my whole life without it. “How so?”
“I was just a kid. I had no idea how to manage my parent’s money. What if I spent it all? What if I lost what my parents and grandparents built up? I was terrified to touch it. But I had to. I had three younger siblings to take care of.” He runs a hand over his hair. “It was a nightmare.”
I try to think how I would feel if I was suddenly in charge of money that was not my own. “What did you do?”
“I read a lot of books and online articles on how to invest. I knew if I didn’t invest the money, it would just dwindle away. I couldn’t get a job. I had to take care of my siblings. So, I learned by trial and error how to invest and grow the money that way.”
I look at him, impressed with what he’s done. “Looks like that turned out well.”
He turns to me, his gaze meeting mine. His expression weighs down on me. “I still feel like the money isn’t mine.”
On impulse, I reach out and touch his hand. His skin is warm, and tingles zap up my fingers. I withdraw my hand. “You’ve built up quite a business. I googled you. You’re very successful.” He’s a multi-millionaire. I’m not sure what he started with, but he’s made the news quite a bit.
“So, you know my story, since you googled me. But you’re a mystery.” He turns toward me, his gaze intense. “What’s your story?”