Chapter 2
Lacey
The thing about owning a ranch full of animals is they depend on those that own them for their survival.
Our world could be crashing around us, and I wouldn’t have time to notice because of all the work that still needs to be done.
My mother passed away only twenty-four hours ago, and I have not been able to stop and think about it. Her funeral is tomorrow, and I wish more than anything it was all a bad dream.
Hay needs to be moved from where it was bailed to the barn, horses need to be fed, watered, and ridden. Bills still must be paid.
My world turned upside down, yet the world itself keeps on spinning.
And honestly, I know she is up there in heaven, or wherever she is, laughing her ass off at me because this was her plan all along. She knew the kind of person I was. She knew I would wallow in my-self-pity if I could. So, she and my dad built this fucking ranch knowing it would keep us kids busy.
And I couldn’t love it more.
Scars Creek Ranch has been home since my first day in the world. I rode my first pony by the time I could walk, and there were more times than I can remember that dad caught me out in the round pen with a horse unsupervised before I started kindergarten.
The 200-plus acres of rolling hills, mountains, creeks, and the white farmhouse with the wrap-around front porch, five bedrooms, four baths, and a full kitchen have and will always be home. Our property is so big, it bumps up against the Alabama state line.
Not to mention the cottage on the property that we rent out from time to time. Right now, though, our bookings on Airbnb have been low, and I need to bring up the idea of selling it to Carson.
“Hey little sis. Figured I would find you in here.” The devil himself walks into the barn with a large cup that I am sure has an ice-cold soda for me inside. The pain in my ass always knows the way to my heart.
“Thank you!” I sigh, taking the drink from him and hugging him tight.
My brother and I have always been close. Though he knows how to get under my skin better than anyone, I don’t know what I would have done without him when mom got sick.
He is ten years older than me. My parents always joked that I was an “uh oh” baby.
But they also said the moment Carson held me for the first time, I was his.
Growing up, I never realized how much of a privilege it is to have a close relationship with my sibling, given our age difference.
And believe me, I am forever thankful for it.
He looks around, eyeing all the horses in our twenty-stall barn. “We need to talk about some things.”
I plunge the straw into my cup and take a big sip of my ice-cold soda. “Okay?”
He takes a long breath and lets it out slowly. “I spoke to moms’ lawyer this morning. He wants us to come in Friday to talk about her will.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Why do you seem like something is wrong?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know, Lace. Something in his tone just seemed . . . questionable. He said for us to come together and prepare ourselves for some changes.”
“Changes?” I question. “Carson, you don’t think we will lose the farm, do you?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know Lace.” He runs his hands through his hair—the thing he does when he’s overstimulated with thoughts. “Let’s just get through tomorrow . . . okay?”
Tomorrow. I am gut-punched at the thought of having to stand and hug everyone who comes and tell them everything is okay, when I know I am far from okay.
I know people mean well when they say things like, “Let me know if you need anything.” But the one thing I need is my mother back, and they cannot help with that.
So, I will just nod and smile and fight back tears.
Just like I am doing now.
“Hey,” Carson says, pulling me into him. My head hits his chest and that’s when the tears escape so fast, I don’t notice it at first.
“I miss her so damn much, Carson. There's an ache in my chest and I don’t think it will ever go away.”
He rubs my arms as his hold tightens, “I know, baby sis. I know. I have it, too.”
Carson’s phone starts ringing, making us step back from our hug and he answers. “Hey.” He listens for a moment. “Yes, that’s correct. Red roses and lilies. She loved lilies.”
I smile. She did love lilies and roses. They are everywhere on the farm. One of my favorite pieces of home.
Thankfully, Carson has been taking care of all the funeral arrangements and decisions.
I did not want any part of it. He knows what I like and what I would agree with or not, so I left it all up to him.
I am exhausted from the last few weeks of caring for her.
All the bed changes, baths, and medicine that had to be given.
I don’t think I slept at all the past few weeks.
The morphine she had to have in those last hours was around the clock.
When her death rattle started, I couldn’t sleep.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still hear it.
The moment it started, I knew I was about to lose her, and I couldn’t fucking stop it.
“Sorry about that.” He pockets his phone. “Lisa at the florist wanted to make sure she had the right arrangements for the casket.”
I nod, wiping my eyes. “Mom would be so proud of you, Car.”
He gives me a soft grin, “Not as much as she would be proud of you, Lace. You have shown so much strength in her last few weeks here. You took care of her and stayed by her side, something I would have never been able to do the way you did. You bathed her, fed her, and took such good care of her. I am so proud of you.”
“It was such an honor taking care of the woman who brought me into the world while holding her hand as she left ours.”
I have to fight back the tears again because it was such a privilege to care for the woman who cared for me.
What an honor it was to have her here, in her own home, surrounded by the love of her children and friends in her last days.
It is what she deserved, and I am so thankful we were able to give her that, even though it broke our hearts.
“You are my hero,” Carson says, draping his arm around me and leading us back to the farmhouse. “I love you, baby sis.”