Chapter 24
Beckett
Lacey rides off with the other men, looking back a few times, likely making sure neither of us is throwing punches now that we are alone.
Her eyes hold mine, telling me something silently. I cannot seem to understand what it is.
Eventually, the sight of them all gets smaller and smaller, and it’s just Carson and me, alone, with Nugget.
Carson sighs, “I’ll do it.”
I shake my head, “No, let me.”
He walks over to his saddle, lying on the ground where he had taken it off Nugget, reaches in his bag on the saddle horn and takes out his pistol.
For a moment, I realize he could easily shoot me, too, throw me in the river, and be done with me for good.
But then again, he would have to hear it from Lacey for the rest of his life, and she may never forgive him for being such an idiot.
Honestly, as mad as he has been toward me, he may just ask for her forgiveness later. Then again, Carson is many things, but stupid has never been one of them.
I give Nugget one more pat, “Your pain will be gone soon, buddy. Tell Holden I said hey.”
I stand, walking over to Carson, who lets out a single tear before he raises his arm, the gun tight in his hand, and aims towards Nugget. He takes a long breath and pulls the trigger, hitting his beloved horse in the head.
Kill shot.
He then turns to me, his pistol still in his hand.
“You don’t belong here, King.”
Ah, there it is. I knew him wanting me out here with him was too good to be true.
“I don’t know why my mother left this ranch to you, too.” His voice is cold. “You lost the privilege of being family when you did what you did.”
I don’t say a word, just nod.
He obviously has yet to read his mother’s letter.
“And Lacey,” he steps into me. “Stay away from her.”
“Carson, you are looking at me like I am going to fuck your sister.”
His nose is almost touching mine. “I saw her going to the cottage last night. Stay. Away. From. Her.”
Now he is starting to piss me off. He cannot tell me what I can and cannot do. If I want to be around her, I can.
“She is grown, Carson. And I never told her to come over last night. She came on her own.”
He huffs, “I am telling you, King. This is your only warning. I may not be able to get you off my ranch legally, but I can keep you from her.”
“Have you told her that?”
He huffs again. “Lacey trusts me. She will do as I say if I tell her to.”
And honestly, I don’t think he is far off from that. Carson is the only family she has left. No matter how much she yells at him for being stupid. Blood is still thicker than water.
I nod, knowing there is no stopping him. “I am sorry about Nugget.”
He stays silent.
His hardened exterior is back up.
I can hear the backhoe off in the distance, Carson sits down by Nugget, his back to me giving me the cue to leave.
Grabbing my horse from the field nearby, I climb up in my saddle and decide to take the long way back to the barn.
* * *
Fifteen minutes later I come up to a spot in the woodline that is thick. Large forest trees cast dark shadows over the forest floor from the harsh sun above.
I know exactly where I am. A place Carson, Holden, and I would visit often on horseback.
He would take us up here and tell us stories about manhood and how to be a gentleman.
The talks got more in-depth as we turned into horny teenagers when he found condoms one night in the cottage all used and not thrown away.
“Are you two sleeping together or with girls?”
He asked the question out of nowhere one afternoon. I almost fell out of my saddle and Carson took off in a laughter that echoed throughout the woods.
“What? Girls! Oh my god!” I am embarrassed.
Holden laughs, “I mean you would always be part of the family either way,” he pauses, “But I had to ask to keep myself from wondering.”
“Dad, why were you in the cottage snooping?”
Holden snaps his eyes at Carson so fast. “I pay for the damn thing, don’t I? Hell son, I can snoop in your room if I want to. I paid for it all. Don’t you start that shit with me.”
“Yes sir.”
“Boys, I want you to know something.” Holden’s voice turns serious.
“I want you to know how proud of you both I am. Becoming young men is not easy. Your hormones are raging, thoughts and feelings get more focused at the forefront of your mind, but you two always seem to take care of this ranch and each other. I am proud of you for that. No matter what, always take care of each other.”
Carson and I nod proudly at one another.
“For your mother’s sake, please don’t get a girl pregnant and always be good to her. Don’t let me find out you are mistreating any female, or you will regret it.”
“Yes sir.”
“Never let a girl come between you and never let life come between you either. It will pull you both so many different ways, but the most important thing is sticking together.”
We stop at the creek, letting the horses get a drink of water.
“Just like the creek, life flows. Sometimes it is rough, and sometimes it is a steady current going through different phases. Either way, it always flows. Never let life stop your flow. Never let life take you down. Keep flowing. And flow together.”
I stop my horse at the same creek from my memories, letting him get a drink from it just like we did that day.
Thinking about Holden’s words, the memory, the way Carson hates me now.
I was just a kid then, life had fucked me up, and instead of flowing with it, I pushed the other way against the current.
And now I’m paying the price for that mistake.
I was just a kid, drowning in emotions too big for me to take on alone. I was fighting like hell to stay above the current. But no one stops to think about that.