Chapter 33
Beckett
“What the fuck!” is all I hear before two strong hands grab me and throw me in the floor.
“Carson!” Lacey screams. “Carson, stop!”
He ignores his sister, grabbing me and slamming me up against the wall. “What did I tell you!”
“Carson!” Lacey grabs the covers from her bed and wraps them around her. “Stop!”
“No!” he yells at his sister, and that’s all it takes for me to throw him off me.
“Don’t fucking yell at her! If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me, not her!”
“Gladly!” he runs into me, head down and hits my abdomen, tossing me across the floor, knocking over her nightstand. All the contents and lamp flying into the floor.
“What’s going on . . .,” Briggs steps inside.
“Briggs! Help!!” Lacey cries out and he jumps into action, pulling Carson off me.
“Let me go!” Carson claws at Briggs’ hold, but it only tightens.
“You are home early,” Lacey says. “I was going to tell you when you got home.”
He jerks out of Briggs' arms. “Lacey, how could you do this. You know I hate him.”
“And you won’t tell me why!! What happened between you and Beckett is between y’all not me!”
“You want to know why?” he pauses, searching my eyes, wanting to share his reasoning, too. “I’ll tell you why. Because he is the reason father fell over dead in the pasture.”
Lacey takes a sharp inhale of air, unshed tears in her eyes. “Wh-what?”
Carson sighs. “When I found dad, his last phone call was to Beckett. Twenty minutes before he went out into the pasture.”
My heart sinks. I remember that evening. I had a lot to drink, Holden had sent me another text checking in on me, a text I ignored because I felt like he was only doing it because he felt sorry for me, not because he truly cared.
“Upon further investigation after everything else calmed down and we left the hospital, I noticed a voicemail on dad’s phone, sent an hour before his call and text to Beckett that day.
” He turns to me, his face turning cold.
“To sum up the awful way he spoke to the man who raised him and gave him a chance in this life, he basically told dad to fuck off and he never wanted to see any of us again.”
Lacey gasps. “Beckett.” A tear falls down her face. “Is that true?”
I can’t answer her truthfully because I don’t remember the entire thing. I had been drinking and when I am drunk, my deepest fears surface. It’s one of the reasons I don’t touch the bottle much anymore unless I am really overwhelmed with thoughts.
But I do remember calling him, I still have the text he left me on my phone.
I watch Lacey’s face fall when I don’t try to defend myself because there is no reason to.
“I’m sorry,” are all the words I can muster up to say.
“Get out,” Lacey whispers.
None of us move.
“All of you, FUCKING GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” she yells, making all three of us jump.
“Lace . . .,” I start walking toward her, but Carson steps in front of her. “Leave, King.”
“I want you all out of my room, NOW!” Lacey yells again, making it clear she is upset.
“Lace,” Carson whispers, but Lacey just glares at him.
“If you three do not leave my room right now, you will regret it.”
I grab my clothes from last night and make my way out the door, Briggs and Carson not far behind me, and the slamming of Lacey’s door makes my heart tumble into heartbreak.
“My fucking sister!” Carson shoves me out the door. “Even if I didn’t hate you, she is off limits!”
I catch myself before I fall off the porch steps. “Carson, drop it.”
I am in no mood to talk to him about this. I am worried about Lacey and Lacey only.
“What? Can’t say anything to me?” Carson follows me off the porch and into the yard, Briggs not far behind him.
“Carson,” Briggs warns, but Carson ignores him.
“Come on, King, tell me, how did it feel being the one who killed my father!”
I whipped around, tears falling down my cheek. “I didn’t fucking know!”
Carson stops in his tracks, his anger slipping for a brief second but no longer. “Of course, you fucking did! How could you not! How could you leave such a message for him like that? My parents are the entire reason you got out of the hell you were in! Dad didn’t deserve that!”
“I don’t remember what I fucking said, Carson! I was drunk!”
His lips turn into a thin line, pulling out his phone scrolling through it. “Listen to this. I had it recorded on my phone just in the hopes I could make you listen to it one day.”
I’m frozen in place when I hear my voice come over the speaker . . .
Holen…I mean, Hold…Shit. I mean Holden.
Stop fucking calling meee. I know I will never be your trruuuueee son.
You and Jane were j-just trying to help me out of guilt.
Please fucks off and never call me again.
I don’t have anyone and don’t needs anyones.
Screw all of yous. I will make something of myself without yous.
Just fucking leaves me alone. Life is better without the Taylors in it. I never wants to sees you again!
The line goes dead. My heart and mind race. My vision suddenly becomes blurry, my knees feel wobbly. I need to get out of here.
“Where are you going?” Carson calls for me as I take off running towards the cottage, but I ignore him. I can’t focus on anything right now other than the feeling of my heart racing.
I make it inside, tears streaming down my face, but I am not safe from my thoughts right now. I didn’t fucking know what I was saying, and I broke the heart of the only father I knew.
* * *
Lacey
I have been in bed most of the day, only getting up to pee and drink something before climbing back in my covers and sulking in my own pity.
A knock on my door makes me groan. “Go away.”
It opens, but when I turn to throw my pillow at whoever it is, I stop as Lexie smirks back at me. “Don’t shoot. I brought food.” She smiles, holding up a box of pizza and two wine coolers.
Easing the pillow back down, I sit up, giving her my best fake grin.
“Oh, stop that fake shit.” She sees right through me.
“How did you know I was in bed?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Briggs told me you might need some girl time.” She crawls into my bed, setting the pizza box down and handing over a wine cooler to me.
“I am sorry about this morning. Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head, no.
She pulls me into her. “Well, how about we talk about how amazing of a friend I am to come bring you pizza?”
I giggle. “Thank you.”
She rubs my shoulder, her embrace calming me. “You don’t have to thank me, Lace. It’s what we do.”
“I don’t know what to do, Lexie. I wish mama was here.” My tears flow down my cheek again.
Her hold on me tightens. “I know...”