Chapter 19. Harriet - Creepy stares
After the visit from Rose’s mother, I had a very difficult week.
Even when Immy was asleep, I couldn’t sleep.
I began crying at stupid things, and sniping at Blake even more.
Belle gently suggested I might need some help.
When she told me that, her face was hesitant, like she thought I’d lash out.
That worried me because I’d never lashed out at Belle.
I must be a raging ball of emotions for her to be so reluctant to talk to me about that.
That day, I booked myself into counseling.
I was living in fear of Rose. I was constantly exhausted and would snap between wanting to be kind to Blake and wanting to rip his head off.
Shelley, the counselor, was so nice. She didn’t think I had postpartum depression but was very concerned I was heading there.
We spoke about everything, and I left after the first session feeling hope.
We’d met twice since then; I’d committed to weekly counseling, and she suggested that when I felt ready, I could bring Blake in for a session so we could talk calmly about everything.
Belle was amazing. She visited, she called, and she always listened.
She sent me funny mothering memes randomly through the day.
When she called yesterday, she asked me if I wanted to go with her to visit her parents for the weekend.
They lived only a few hours away and they were dying to meet Immy.
Blake was encouraging and thought it would be good for me to take a break.
He knew Belle and her parents would spoil me and help with Immy, and was hopeful that I might actually get some sleep.
So, here I was, waiting in the living room with my cases and Immy in her carrier waiting for Belle to arrive.
She was coming here but we’d take my car to her parents because it had Immy’s seat in it.
Belle insisted she would drive, relegating me to DJ duties.
I was so excited. I felt like a kid waiting to be picked up for a birthday party.
Immy had been fed and changed, so I was hoping we could make the drive without having to stop.
I heard a car horn and made my way outside.
Belle ran up the path and grabbed my cases, while I carried Immy.
“Mom is so excited. She’s made you your favorite cookies and Dad has bought four varieties of wine in case your taste has changed.
” Rod and Jane were so sweet. They’d been like parents to me since I’d met Belle and I was thrilled that they were about to meet Immy.
Belle was packing the car and I was clipping Immy in when my spidey senses began to tingle.
I pushed in the last clip and stood up. Rose was at her front door, just staring.
First at me, then at Belle. She stared at Belle for some time.
My friend could obviously sense the weirdness too because she looked up from the trunk and stared directly back at Rose.
Neither of them broke eye contact. It began to get creepy.
“Belle,” I hissed. “Let’s just go.”
“Nope,” she said in a low voice. “This is like a dog thing. The first to break eye contact is showing submission.”
The uncomfortable stare continued. Eventually, Rose looked at her feet and went back inside her house.
When we were safely out of the street, I turned to Belle.
“That was fucking creepy. We should have just left. This isn’t a fight between high school girls, Belle. She’s a fully grown, fully psycho woman. I don’t want you getting involved or making this worse.”
“Yeah, but she needs to know there are people looking out for you and that we’re not going to tolerate her shit,” Belle reasoned.
“I’ve been talking to Shelley about Rose and said that I am considering moving house,” I confessed.
“It’s going to be a lot of hassle, but I can’t live like this.
Shelley didn’t pass an opinion but just said that I should do whatever it is that will help ease my burden.
I think that is moving. I have no guarantee she’s moving.
Wouldn’t she have moved by now? Colin’s been gone a while.
Even if she does move, maybe a fresh start for us would be good. ”
“Whatever you decide, I’ve got your back. My cousin is a real estate agent; let me know if you want me to hit her up.”
“Thanks, will do. I haven’t chatted to Blake yet but I think he’d been keen to move. This whole thing is like a dark shadow that won’t go away, and I feel like we can’t work on our future with Rose hanging over us,” I said.
“I can see why living across the street from Lizzie Borden might have that effect,” Belle commented dryly.
“Blake was definitely a shithead. But his consequences have been more severe than most shitheads who have emotional affairs get. I’m not saying just move on and forgive him, that’s for you to decide.
I’m just saying this whole situation isn’t normal.
Most emotional affairs don’t end in a real-life reenactment of The Hand that Rocks the Cradle . ”
“Fuck, don’t even joke about that. I’m always stressed. I can’t even have a shower when Blake’s not home because I won’t have eyes on Immy.”
“Sorry, you know black humor is my thing. You keep Immy safe beautifully. Just keep being vigilant and hopefully it will be over soon.” She patted my hand, causing the car to veer to the left.
“Hands on the wheel!”
“Whoopsies,” she laughed. “You’re an awesome Mom, Haz, and an amazing woman. Keep talking to Shelley, keep talking to Blake, and keep talking to me. But for this weekend, let’s dump Immy on Mom and Dad and have a rager!”