18 Original
Original
I felt almost lightheaded as I reached arrivals.
I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous, but I was.
My legs were trembling, I was gnawing at my lower lip and I felt claustrophobic as I emerged among a wave of travelers.
Past the barrier I saw families reuniting, and I felt a pang that I’d left my own family behind.
But then I saw Naya. She pushed through the crowd, stepping on toes and shoving aside little kids to get to me.
She didn’t care, and I loved that about her.
I saw Sue looking half-asleep and munching on a bag of chips. But honestly, the simple fact that she was there melted my heart. Maybe she really did like me after all?
Jack was there, of course, looking calm on the surface, but I could tell he was tense. Naya shrieked loudly enough to make the whole room turn to face her. I guess making a scene in airports was starting to be my thing.
She jumped into my arms, almost knocking me over, shouting, “Finally! It feels like you’ve been gone forever! Imagine how hard it was for me without you, all alone with those three!”
“Sorry…” I mumbled.
“Are you done yet?” Ross said, bringing me back to reality. “You’re not the only one who wants to say hi to her, Naya.”
“She’s done,” Will remarked, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her gently away.
When I looked at Ross, I realized exactly how much I had missed him.
It was as though I were seeing him again after an eternity.
Not that I needed him, but I had felt his absence physically as I slept alone, as I walked around the house feeling cold because his eyes weren’t on me, as I sat on the sofa without him there, watched TV without hearing his commentary…
Knowing this both excited me and made me feel afraid.
I was afraid because I’d never felt like that, so emotionally open to someone, as if I were exposing more of myself than I was used to and in that way, perhaps, making myself a target.
I thought he was going to say something, but there was no need to.
And why bother? It was evident what we felt when I grabbed the cords of his hooded sweatshirt and pulled him toward me.
His body tensed with surprise as my lips touched his.
When I’d finished kissing him, I didn’t dare look at him.
I just hugged him tight, hid my face in his shoulder, and sniffed. I had even missed his scent.
What was happening to me? I smiled at Will over his shoulder, and Will reached up and mussed my hair. Naya was shocked. Will less so. He grinned and nodded. He reminded me of Spencer. Like a better version of Spencer, one who didn’t throw his chocolate cereal in my hair when he got mad.
“How are your parents?” Ross said.
“Good. Actually they’ve never been as nice to me as they were those two days.”
“That’s how it is when you miss someone,” Sue said. I took advantage of the moment to thank her for coming, and she gave me a confused look. I don’t think she was used to being thanked for things.
“Shall we?” Ross said.
“Can we please?” I asked. “My contacts feel like they’re burning through my irises.”
They had come in Ross’s car. I smiled when I saw the stickers on the back of it. I sat in the passenger seat and took off my coat. He smiled as he turned the key and took off.
“So what have you guys been up to?” I asked.
“I hung out with my dad,” Naya said. “Will and Chris and I had dinner with him.”
“We also went to another one of Ross’s mom’s exhibitions,” Will said. “His mom obviously asked about you right away. I think it made Ross a little jealous.”
“If it makes him feel any better,” I responded, “my family asked more about him than they did about me. How was the exhibit? I wish I hadn’t missed it.”
“Don’t worry, you can go to any of the next fifty. They get more and more boring every time.”
I told them what I had done with my time at home—about my parents, my siblings, my nephew.
I didn’t mention Monty, of course. Thankfully no one noticed—except Ross, I think.
He kept looking at me expectantly. When we parked and went inside, we ran into Agnes, and she asked about my visit.
She was sweet, as she always was. Before going inside, she told us Mike had just shown up.
And when we opened the door, we saw him sitting on the couch yawning.
He stood and hurried over to hug me, picking me up off the ground.
I was taken off guard and didn’t know how to react.
“Finally, the peacemaker’s back,” he said as his brother scowled.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“I’ve come to realize your boyfriend’s mood is entirely dependent on whether or not you’re around. Now at least he won’t want to bite everyone’s head off all the time.”
Ross sighed and pushed him back toward the sofa, telling him to stop being an idiot.
I walked back to our room and changed clothes, putting on my pajamas—a.k.a.
Jack’s sweatshirt and sweatpants. And it felt like heaven.
My bliss lasted just a few seconds though, because when I walked out of the bedroom, there was Lana.
I didn’t say anything to her, even when I saw she was looking at me.
I didn’t want a spat. Not tonight, anyway.
I just wanted to get along. And I definitely didn’t want to cause problems for Jack now that I knew she was going to be around.
When everyone turned to me, I said, “I’ve got a surprise for you all. ”
I took out the two Tupperware containers my dad had left in my suitcase and told them, “My father’s cookies. His special recipe. And he went all out…”
Before I could even finish talking, Jack had taken them from my hands.
Everyone jumped at them like seagulls. Will was the only one who even remotely tried to get anyone to behave.
He wrestled the containers away from Ross and set them down on the table as I said, “Will, you’re the only true gentleman here.
Now, those are for everyone, so please share. ”
The only person who didn’t try one was Lana, who just observed everyone with a frown on her face. When the cookies were half-gone, I asked her, “What’s wrong? Aren’t you hungry?”
“I just don’t want to gain a hundred pounds,” she said.
“They’re whole wheat,” I responded. “My mom’s on a diet. Or she pretends to be. So she forces my father to cook healthy.”
I don’t know why I was trying to be nice to her.
She certainly hadn’t been with me. But I knew it was stupid for us not to get along, and I wasn’t going to act like a child with her.
She hesitated, but she must have sensed there was going to be a peace treaty between us—for now, at least—so she grabbed one, and I think it was the first time I ever legitimately saw her smile.
“Shit!” Naya called out. “I just remembered you and I are supposed to be on a diet, Jenna. Don’t tell me you broke it while you were home.”
“You’re literally eating a cookie right now, Naya,” Ross told her.
“It was my mother’s birthday. I didn’t have a choice!” I protested.
“Traitor!” Naya said.
I apologized for my weakness, but said my diet was officially over.
Jack welcomed me back to the normal world, and Sue asked whether they could throw out all the bags of salad in the fridge.
Will reminded Naya that she’d just had a hamburger the day before for dinner, and she finally gave in, saying, “You know what? I guess the diet’s over for me, too.
” I threw a cookie at her, but when it landed in her lap, Mike snatched it up and ate it.
We hung out and talked and ate for an hour—especially Ross and Will, who, despite their thin frames, were like two bottomless pits.
Lana didn’t hold back either. When it was close to bedtime, Naya decided she wanted to go back to the dorm.
Lana announced she would leave with her and gave a goodbye hug to everyone except Sue and Mike, and that included me.
It was weird—she’d never even touched me before.
Confused, I clapped her on the back. I didn’t know if she was just in a good mood, if she had some wicked trick up her sleeve, or if my father’s cookies worked miracles.
Once they were gone, Will announced he was going to bed and Mike encouraged Ross and me to leave, too.
“I’ve got a lady friend I need to call, and I don’t need you all here pestering me,” he said.
Jack warned him against bringing her over, and Mike shot back at him, “Bro, I just said I needed to call her. It is kind of fucked up, though, when you think about it, that you can do whatever you want back in your bedroom with Jenna and I have to stay out here on the couch all by myself.” Ross scowled at him one last time as we walked back to the bedroom.
Once I lay on the bed—so soft, so comfortable—all my stress and all my worries disappeared. I asked, “Would you think I was crazy if I told you I’m so used to sleeping here that my own bed at home felt weird to me?”
Ross smiled, but didn’t say anything, and I added, “Oh, I forgot. I’ve got your check for the cost of the plane ticket.”
“Keep it,” he said.
“It’s yours, though, Ross.”
“Think of it as an early Christmas gift, Michelle.”
“If you call me Michelle, I’m going to start calling you Jack.”
“OK, Michelle,” he said, and I threw my phone at him. “Wow,” he said, “you must hate it if you were willing to sacrifice your beloved cell phone to get me to stop. Is there any particular reason why it bothers you so much?”