27 The Right Thing
The Right Thing
Mom insisted Jack and I not leave so soon, so we ended up spending New Year’s Eve at my parents’ house, too.
It was a good time, especially when my brothers got drunk and decided they could beat Jack at a snowball fight.
I wished I could really enjoy it, but a part of me was unable.
I was too worried about him giving up something that mattered so much to him for me.
And I wondered if I’d have been able to do the same in his shoes.
I thought so, but I wasn’t sure, and that made me question again whether I was being selfish by accepting him staying there.
I even considered—not really, or not exactly—whether I should leave him so he would go.
Because it was obvious that he wouldn’t listen to me.
I didn’t even need to ask. I knew I shouldn’t think that way, but I couldn’t help it.
Jack could tell something was up, of course.
He always could. He tried to force me to talk to him, but eventually he figured out I never would, so he just kissed me, hoping that would comfort me until I got through whatever was bothering me.
How could he be so damn perfect?
It was New Year’s Day, I think, at dawn, when I was finally able to admit what I really wanted.
And I wanted to stay with him.
I’d spent day after day thinking about it, and I knew: I didn’t want to be apart from him.
Our last day there, as we packed our bags, I could feel him looking at me. Eventually he asked, “Are you OK?”
I nodded. He hadn’t asked me for a few days. I tried to throw him off, saying, “I was wondering if I should grab anything else from here to take back.”
With a sly smile, he told me, “I’m on the case. You just relax and let me look through your stuff. I’m dying to discover all your embarrassing secrets.”
I told him I didn’t think there was much there. “Challenge accepted,” he replied.
I grabbed a few sweatshirts out of my closet and tossed them into my hot-pink backpack.
Behind me, Ross was opening and closing drawers.
He didn’t seem too excited about what he was finding.
He dug up a bracelet that I’d never worn, asked if I had any other jewelry, asked why not when I told him I never liked wearing jewelry.
I had to disappoint him and tell him the notebook he found wasn’t my diary, just a place where I wrote down lists of stupid stuff, lists of things I’d been happy to accomplish, like going to Disney World and passing calculus.
Ross wanted to know where he was, and I told him to flip to the back, where all the things I was embarrassed about were.
I wasn’t worried. I’d told him about my failed attempt at sexting, and everything else in there was silly: the time I fell into a swimming pool fully clothed, taking a class I hated just to be with Nelle…
“Where’s Monty?” he asked.
“Jack, I haven’t written in that notebook in years.”
“It’s never too late…” he said before tossing the notebook back in the drawer.
When we were done, we said our goodbyes to my family.
We had decided to catch an Uber to avoid all the tears at the airport.
As my home disappeared behind me, I wondered whether I was doing the right thing.
I could still change my mind. But…no. When I looked at him, I knew I couldn’t.
Being with him was right. I wanted to stay with him.
We didn’t talk on the plane, or even on the ride home.
I didn’t want to, and I pretended to be asleep.
I wasn’t entirely faking. I was exhausted from the stress, and I’d been getting up every morning early to have a little alone time with my mother.
I even threw on sunglasses, because the sun was bothering me, and that was something I never did.
When we were parked, Jack grabbed both our suitcases and dragged them to the elevator.
As soon as we were upstairs, I smelled something burning.
It was horrible. I could hear Naya shrieking through the door.
We threw the door open and found her in the kitchen with the smoke alarm going off, holding open the oven door and letting out a black cloud of smoke.
There was a tray inside, and on top of it, the black remains of what had once been a chicken.
Will, Mike, and Sue were leaning on the bar and cracking up as they watched her.
“See why I didn’t want to cook!” Naya shouted. Then, when she noticed we’d arrived, she tried to cover for herself with the words, “Oh, hi, you guys!”
Jack asked, “Are you trying to burn down my home?”
“Some thanks I get,” she replied. “I wanted to do something nice to welcome you home. There’s ten bucks down the drain, I guess.”
Honestly, the scene had put me in a better mood. I forgot my misgivings and told her, “Listen, if you haven’t gotten tired of cooking, we could go get another chicken and I could give you a hand this time.”
“See! This is why you’re my best friend!” she shouted enthusiastically.
So we went to the grocery store, and then she and Will and I spent the rest of the afternoon cooking and trying not to cause another disaster.
When the chicken was ready, we set it in the middle of the coffee table.
Sue came in sniffing the air. Soon everyone else was gathered, and immediately Mike started complaining because the television was turned off.
“Mike,” Naya upbraided him, “this is our Christmas dinner. We should talk, not look at the stupid TV.”
“Christmas is over,” I told her. “It’s January now.”
“Whatever,” she said. “We didn’t get to see each other for the holidays, so can’t we just fake it for a day and try to be happy together?”
As everyone agreed, Mike butted in, “Where are my presents, then?”
Naya murmured with embarrassment that she didn’t have any. Sue reminded him that he wasn’t supposed to be living there and that he could consider not being homeless his Christmas present. Mike protested that we’d all be bored if he wasn’t there to entertain us.
“Or happy,” Jack said. “It’s one or the other.”
“Help me out, future sister-in-law,” Mike pleaded, and I told them, “Leave the poor thing alone.”
They did, but not because they felt bad for him or cared about my opinion.
It was just that they were hungry. When we finished, we watched a terrible Christmas movie.
Sue and Mike bitched about it the whole time, Will and Naya just made out, and Jack and I watched in silence.
He was the only guy I’d ever met who actually tried to watch the movie when he told his girlfriend that was what he wanted to do.
If I tried to distract him, he’d even get angry, which I have to admit I found hilarious.
I couldn’t help but grin as I stared at him.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing. I don’t want to distract you,” I said.
“You’re already distracting me.”
“It’s just…I’ve got a Christmas present for you.”
“Give it,” he said, eyes pinned to the screen.
“It’s not exactly a conventional present.” My cheeks got hot as I said that.
He smiled mischievously and responded, “I want to see it.”
“What about the movie, though?”
“Screw the movie.” He stood up and pulled me behind him into his bedroom, where he sat on the bed and said, “I’ve got something for you, too. It’s a birthday present, but you can have it early.”
“My birthday’s in a month!”
“It’s always better to be prepared,” he replied. I was excited as he walked over to his dresser, opened a drawer, and tossed me a small package in wrapping paper.
“I don’t know if you’ll like it,” he said as I tore off the paper. “This whole gift-giving thing is kind of new for me.”
Inside was a small cardboard box, and inside that was an even smaller box made of blue velvet. I could see he was getting impatient, but I was so excited my fingers weren’t working right. “Hurry up!” he said, and I was surprised to find inside a silver key.
“What is it?” I asked, confused.
“It’s a key to the apartment.”
“I don’t get it. I already have a key.”
“It’s symbolic, dummy. Today marks three months since the first time we kissed. And I know I said on the Ferris wheel you didn’t have to answer me right away, but you know, I got impatient. My idea was to wait to ask you if you’d make it official on your birthday, but I just couldn’t.”
He looked so nervous—I’d never seen him that way. It was cute, and I almost wanted to treasure it.
“I don’t know what to say,” I told him. “I think I hate you a little.”
“Why?”
“Because my gift sucks compared to yours.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” he said. “Now hand it over!”
“Patience!” I told him. “Jeez. Go sit on the bed and behave. And turn your back to me.” He did as I said, though he tried to turn his head once, and I had to tell him to stay still.
I hurried to the closet as he hummed, pretending to be distracted.
I kept glancing over to make sure he wasn’t peeking.
Thankfully he didn’t. I found what I was looking for.
He acted like a little kid the whole time, asking, Can I turn around now?
How about now? Now? And I kept saying No, no, no!
Finally I warned him that if he kept asking, I’d go even slower on purpose.
I could tell by his voice how funny this was for him, and I saw him tapping his fingers on his knees.
Once I was ready, I took a look at myself in the full-length mirror. I was blushing like crazy already.
I had put on the lingerie set Shannon bought me. It was all lace and satin, very sexy, and very weird, at least for me. Feigning annoyance, Jack called out, “I’m falling asleep!” and I said, “Just a little longer.”
I let down my hair. But then I pulled it back and let it down again and pulled it back again before finally deciding to leave it down for good, though even then, I wasn’t sure.
I pulled my bangs behind my ear, wondering why the hell I was so nervous.
It was just underwear. He’d already seen me with even less on.