21. Twenty-One
Twenty-One
Jake
“ J ake, would you mind staying back for just a minute?” Mrs. Wood calls out when the bell signals the end of the school day.
Today marks the beginning of what’s going to be a grueling weekend, as everyone is working double time to make up for my dad’s poor organizational skills.
I’m due at work in less than an hour, and I have yet to go home, throw something edible together in the crock pot for dinner, and drop the kids off at the sitters.
The last thing I need right now is a lecture from my teacher.
I have a good idea what this is about, and I’m not looking forward to her listing my many shortcomings.
But I respect Mrs. Wood, and I know running won’t solve my problems, so I dutifully wait for everyone to clear out and make my way to the front of the room.
“Take a seat,” she says, nodding toward the empty chair opposite hers with a kind smile. Waiting just long enough for me to get situated, she doesn’t beat around the bush and gets right to the heart of the matter. A straightforward approach I appreciate .
“It pains me to say this, Jake, but we’re more than halfway through the school year, and as it stands, you’re at risk of not graduating with the rest of your class.”
I cringe at her words and sag into my chair, bringing a shaky hand to my forehead. We’re roughly four months away from graduation, and even though I appreciate Mrs. Wood giving me a heads-up, I’m already stretched so thin I can’t possibly do more than I already am.
“Now,” she continues, leaning forward and resting her forearms on her desk.
“I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’m aware you’re helping your father after school most afternoons, but you can’t let your education suffer.
It’s imperative that you improve your grades and focus on getting the credits needed to graduate.
Maybe we could set you up with a tutor? I could also talk with your dad to let him know you’re struggling.
Maybe I can convince him to cut back on your work hours until you manage to get back on track. ”
Yeah, that would go over really well.
“What do you think?” she prompts when I don’t reply right away.
“I think it wouldn’t make much difference.” I try not to squirm under her scrutiny. I hate the way she always looks at me. Head tilted, eyes searching, like she’s trying to solve a frustrating puzzle in her head. Like she can fix me somehow if she can just figure out how to work the problem.
“Jake.” She offers me a sympathetic smile. “This is about your future. About the rest of your life. If you don’t graduate, you won’t be able to go to college. You know that, right?”
I snort with bitter amusement. “I won’t be going to college either way, Mrs. Wood, so who the fuck cares?”
“Language, Jake,” she scolds.
“Sorry.”
“And to answer your question, I care. I care because I know how smart you are. You’re a good kid with a good head on your shoulders.
I just feel like you’re not reaching your full potential, and frankly, I’m a little concerned.
You’re exhausted, Jake. You’re struggling to stay awake during my classes, and you’ve changed from this boisterous, funny kid who loved to laugh to this sullen and serious version.
I know the death of a parent is hard on a child, but I’ve gotta ask.
Is there something else going on at home that I should know about? ”
Straightening in my chair, I lift my chin and do my best to look unaffected.
“I thought this was about my grades. If I wanted to do a deep dive into my private life, I’d see a therapist.”
Mrs. Wood takes a deep breath, frustration written all over her features.
I know she’s most likely heard the rumors, but I’ve realized over the years that people tend to question you less if you can manage to look them right in the eye when delivering your lies.
I don’t enjoy the deception, but my circumstances have forced me to become quite proficient at it.
“Fine. I’ll let it go for now. But I need you to know you can trust me to keep anything you tell me confidential.
I want to help you, Jake, and I would like to see you succeed.
As I’ve said, I see a lot of potential in you, and I’d hate to see that go to waste.
I hope your father agrees that school should be your priority.
I believe it’s in everyone’s best interest not to have you repeat senior year. ”
Fuck. I couldn’t let that happen. The thought of Tessa, Carter, and Megan graduating and going off to whatever college they choose while I’m stuck here for another year without them makes me want to vomit.
I’m burning the candle at both ends and I’m aware I can’t keep this up much longer.
I need to be done with school so I can stop this insane juggling act and focus on work and work alone.
Mrs. Wood is right. I am exhausted, and I’ve become a shell of myself over these past few months.
Everything is just … too much. I have to graduate. Anything less is unacceptable.
“I’ll get a tutor if that’s what it takes to get me out of here.”
This must’ve been the right thing to say, for Mrs. Wood’s concerned expression morphs into a blinding smile.
“Great. I’ll talk it over with your other teachers, as well as your dad. I’m sure we can come up with a plan together. I don’t want you to worry too much. There’s still time, and I believe in you. I know you can make it work. ”
She seems a lot more confident in my abilities than I am. Then again, she isn’t the one having to face my father. My shoulders drop, and I give her a tight smile while I gather my things and leave the room with a heavy heart.