9. IF YOU KNEW #2
My nostrils flare as I thrust once into him, filling him up, balls deep.
He groans loudly, slapping his hand on the bed as I begin pulling back slowly.
My body trembles as I let go of his neck, and I press my nose to his hair, needing his scent to ground me.
I’ve never felt anything like this. Hot and wet and tight.
But it’s not just my body reacting to this.
No, that would make it easier. It’s my heart too.
My chest feels tight as I keep pulling back almost all the way and thrust back in slowly, a shallow push.
I do it a few times, and little puffs of air escape between Kenneth’s parted lips.
My movements are experimental as I get to know his body, what makes him sigh, and what makes him beg, and before long, I’m going a little deeper.
A little more. And then a tiny bit more until he’s shaking his head and pleading with me.
I angle my hips and fuck into him, pegging his prostate, and the moan he lets out is so loud and raw, I’m sure it echoes through the entire penthouse. “Is this what you need, baby?” I ask against the shell of his ear, speaking softly, and he nods quickly. “Do you want me to give you more?”
“More,” Kenneth growls. “Harder.”
I oblige, leaning back on my haunches and grabbing his hips, slamming into him hard over and over again.
He’s on his hands and knees now, arching his back into a gorgeous arc, and I follow the line of his spine all the way to the nape of his neck.
His strong shoulders are dotted with freckles, light brown and as delicate as he is, just as I remember from my dreams.
I lean back and watch as my cock goes into his hole.
The way he grips me as I fill him up has to be the best thing I’ve ever seen.
“God, Ken, I wish you could see how good we look together. Your ass…” I moan when he clenches around me, and I see him tighten, his hole shiny and wet. “So pretty. Just like you.”
Kenneth is loud, his moans getting louder and closer to each other.
I know he’s close by the way he trembles and grips the sheets, but he’s not touching himself yet.
I wrap an arm around his chest and sit back further, pulling him up until his back is against my chest, and I’m fucking up into him at a sharper angle.
His head comes to rest on my shoulder as I grab his cock with my free hand and begin jerking it in earnest. Hard and fast.
He’s shaking now, and my spine tingles with my impending release. “Right there,” Kenneth mewls, thrashing in my arms. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop! Oh, fuck. I’m gonna c-come. Don’t stop—”
Kenneth moves up and down now, meeting me thrust for thrust as he chases his orgasm, and the sounds we’re both letting out send a shiver down my spine. I’ve never moaned like this. Not with anyone else.
“Fuck, yes,” I moan. “Yes, Kenny, fuck me back.”
“Oh, god,” Kenneth says, voice breaking as his cock throbs between my fingers. I grip him tighter and peg his prostate harder. “It’s so fucking good. How is it so good?”
“You were made for me, Ken,” I growl against his ear, and seconds later, I feel his hot cum spill over my fingers, cock jerking in my grip. “That’s it, baby. Come for me. Let me see you.”
“Look at me, Conrad,” he moans, and turns his head to make eye contact with me. His eyes are black, pupils so wide the blue is but a thin ring around them.
“You’re so beautiful,” I tell him as I thrust in twice more and still, my body going rigid as I come inside of him.
He bounces on me, fucking me through my orgasm as I shake violently, my grip slipping on his chest. The pleasure is white hot and all-consuming, and it feels like I’m being burned from the inside out. “Mmmfuck.”
“Fuck,” Kenneth says as I flood him with my cum. “You’re perfect, Conrad. Perfect for me.”
He finally stills, his face turned toward mine, and I capture his lips in a slow, reverent kiss.
I show him how much I want him, how much I need him, with this kiss.
He deepens it, groaning as I slip my tongue between his lips, and his hole clenches around my half-hard cock.
The heat of us together is enough to drive me insane, but I push him forward gently and slip out of him, watching as my release trickles out of him.
It’s a slow trickle at first, then a gush, and I smear it against his taint with my fingers.
“That’s so hot,” I breathe.
“You are a caveman after all,” he says with a chuckle.
Kenneth lies down on his side, and I begin to get up so I can go get him a wet rag to clean up with. But before I can go to the bathroom, he stops me.
“No,” he says softly. “We can clean up later. Come lie with me.”
My feet carry me back to bed quickly, and when I’m back at his side, I pull him into my arms and kiss the top of his head.
He sighs contentedly, and I close my eyes as he buries his face in the crook of my neck, throwing a leg over me.
It makes me wonder if he cuddles with everyone or if I’m special.
I’m too scared to hope for the latter, but I long for it with all my heart.
“Tell me about your dreams,” he says, and my breath catches in my throat. There’s no way he knows I’ve been dreaming about him. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
Somewhere with you.
“Married,” I reply hesitantly. “Happy. I’d have a stable job, but not work on weekends. I’d have time to travel.”
“Hmm,” Kenneth hums. “Do you want kids?”
I hesitate again. “Not really. I kind of have envisioned my partner and me living our lives to the fullest.”
Kenneth’s finger draws shapes over my chest, a heart, I think. “I feel the same.” I relax a little, and he must feel it because he chuckles.
“What are your dreams?” I ask him softly.
“I’m honestly not sure,” he replies, sighing. “It feels like I already have it all. My studio, the fame, the money. I’m only missing one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Love,” Kenneth says to me in a small voice. “I’m not even sure it exists.”
That makes me want to shake him. I want to yell that it does exist—with me. I can love him the way he deserves to be loved. “I promise it does,” I tell him instead.
“I’ve never felt it before. Not even with my ex,” he replies. “I’m not sure I want to.”
I frown. “Why not?”
“I’ve heard it hurts like a bitch.” Kenneth chuckles, but my frown doesn’t go away.
“Only when it’s over,” I tell him. “But when it doesn’t end, it can be…”
“What?”
“Transformative,” I say, and he lifts his head to look up at me. I feel his stare on my face, but I keep my eyes on the ceiling. “Life changing.”
“How do you know?” he asks.
“I just do.”
Kenneth chuckles. “Of course you do. You know everything when it comes to being in love, huh?”
“I know some things.” I grin, finally making eye contact with him. His eyes sparkle when I shift to my side and face him. “Want me to show you?”
He gets closer, laying his head on my pillow and leaning in until our noses brush. “And if I do?”
“I’d tell you the truth,” I whisper.
“Which is?”
“If you let me love you, I’d cradle your heart in my hands and never hurt you.” His eyes widen when I say this. “I’d show you how real love truly is, and then I’d never let you go.”
“Is that what you want?” His voice is small, but he leans in further, the brush of his lips against mine making me tremble.
“Desperately,” I whisper, kissing him softly. “Ferociously.”
Kenneth’s exhale is shaky against my lips, and his hand comes up to my face, where he brushes his knuckles against my cheekbone. “I think—” I hear him gulp. “I think I may want that, too.” My breath hitches. “Show me, Conrad.”
“I will,” I promise.
He kisses me softly once more, then pulls away and closes his eyes.
I watch him for a long time, the moonlight now streaming in through the window.
The light is soft, but I can still make out his features.
His breaths come in slower and deeper, and I’m lost in thought for a long time before I fall asleep holding his hand.
He stayed.
For me.
With me.