16. PAUL
Today kicked my ass, and that’s putting it lightly.
After losing our first game on the road, I got stuck sitting next to Greyson on the plane ride home, who was nothing but a dick, insisting he needed to use the armrest between us. At least I had the aisle seat and could stretch my oversized legs. And to top it off, I still haven’t heard from Sarah. Not once.
She completely ignored the text I sent her after our date, and it fucking sucks.
No.I internally shake my head. It hurts.
All I know is the minute I walk through my front door, I plan on taking a long, hot shower and collapsing on my bed for the rest of the night—absolutely nothing else.
Opening the front door, I find Natalie watching TV on the living room couch.
“Hey, what’s up, Natalie?” I drop my sports bag beside the door, planning to take care of it later.
“Paul!” Her eyes widen. “Don’t you have a game tonight?”
I shake my head. “It was this morning. Got switched because of a scheduling conflict.”
“Well, it looks like you’re just in time then!” she exclaims. “Sarah’s on her way over for a movie night.”
My brows furrow as I slam the door firmly behind me at the mention of Sarah. “Sarah?”
“Ow!”
I stiffen, feeling heat creep up my neck, realizing who I just shut the door on.
Fuck!
“Sarah, I’m so sorry!” I open the door wide, pressing my hand onto her lower back, leading her inside. “Shit. Are you okay?”
She rubs her forehead. “I’m fine. No big deal.”
But it is a big deal. She’s so small, and I’m so big. I didn’t mean to hurt her. Fuck.
“Wait here.” I quickly look between her and the kitchen. “I’m going to get some ice!” I run to the kitchen, pull out the ice tray, and slam it on the counter. Cubes fall everywhere, but I grab most of them and bundle them in a plastic bag. Returning to the living room, I find Sarah sitting on the couch beside Natalie.
I sit on her free side and gently press the ice to her head, where I notice a small purple bruise forming. “Maybe I should take you to the hospital to get checked out for a concussion.”
“Paul, I’m fine. I swear. I don’t have a concussion.” Her hand lands on my thigh, and all the air in my lungs evaporates. “I was looking down at my phone when I walked up the steps. It was my fault. Don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry.” I scrape the palm of my hand down my face.
The front door opens, revealing Nate, who walks inside with a few pizza boxes in his hands.
“Hey, man. You made it in time for movie night.” He places the boxes on the coffee table and sits on Natalie’s free side.
It’s getting tight on this couch, so I stand, still holding the ice against Sarah’s head.
“I’ve got it,” Sarah says, placing her hand over mine to take over. I can’t help but notice how small and soft her hand is compared to mine.
“Yeah. Sorry again.” I squeeze the back of my neck. I can’t believe I just fucking did that.
“What did you do to the poor girl?” Nate asks, smirking.
I gesture toward the door. “I shut the door on her face. Completely by accident,” I add hastily.
Nate shakes his head, restraining a laugh.
I’m such an idiot. “Well, I better go shower. Enjoy your movie night.” I take a step on the stairs when the sound of her voice brings me to a screeching halt.
“Aren’t you going to stay for the movie?” Sarah asks.
My eyes lock with hers, and when I internally ask, Do you want me to stay? with my brow raised, she nods just the slightest bit.
“Yeah. Sure. Let me shower real quick, and I’ll be right down.”
She smiles, appearing relieved by my answer.
After I get out of the shower and slip into a pair of grey sweatpants and a black T-shirt, I head downstairs, finding the three of them on the couch, so I take the love seat. Quickly, I hide a small shopping bag on the other side of the chair before anyone sees it.
“So, what are we watching?” I ask.
“The new Halloween movie,” Nate responds, handing me a slice of pizza on a plate.
“I love scary movies,” Sarah notes.
“I don’t.” Natalie frowns. “You told me we were watching a romantic movie.”
“It will be romantic, baby.” He lifts his arm, and she instantly cuddles into his side. “Because I’ll be here to keep you safe.” He kisses the top of her forehead, and she giggles, swatting his chest.
The two of them couldn’t be more in love.
“I hope you have the ice cream I like,” she murmurs.
Nate laughs as he stands up. “Let me go get everything.”
“And the whipped cream and toppings!” Natalie calls out to him.
That boy is whipped. I chuckle to myself, knowing I would do anything to be just as whipped if it meant being with someone I love.
“I can’t believe Thanksgiving break is coming up,” Natalie mentions, positioning pillows around her. “Are you heading home for Thanksgiving, Sarah?”
Sarah’s lips part. “I…umm…” She quickly looks down at her lap and then back at Natalie. “I have so much to do for my art show, so I think I’m just going to stay here.”
“Really?” The corners of Natalie’s lips turn down. “You can’t take a tiny break to spend Thanksgiving with your family?”
Sarah subtly shakes her head. “No.” She tries to give a tiny smile, but it looks forced and unnatural.
“What about you, TB?” Natalie asks, cocking her head to the side.
I chuckle at the nickname Natalie has bestowed upon me.
“TB?” Sarah’s brows furrow together as she repeats the letters out loud.
“Teddy Bear,” Natalie clarifies, sounding proud of herself. “He’s a big guy with a soft center. It fits him perfectly. Don’t you think?”
Sarah’s lips curve up. “It sure does.”
“I hope everyone wants ice cream,” Nate says, walking in with several flavors, bowls, spoons, and all the toppings you could imagine.
“So, Paul, do you like scary movies?” Sarah asks.
“Like them? I love them,” I say matter-of-factly, trying to impress her as I take a scoop from the chocolate ice cream container.
But thirty minutes into the movie, I remember that I, in fact, do not love scary movies. Not one bit.
My eyes flicker to the couch to see if anyone else feels the same way, but I find Natalie sleeping against Nate, who looks to be having difficulty keeping his eyes open. And Sarah, who’s watching the movie with wide eyes, shoving popcorn in her mouth. Nate glances at me, then at Sarah, and then back at me with a mischievous grin.
“Well,” Nate starts. “I’m going to bring this one to bed. See you guys later.” He lifts Natalie in his arms and winks at me as he passes me to go up the stairs.
This is probably the time to say something, but I’m coming up blank. My whole mind is a fucking blank canvas when I’m around her.
“Is there a blanket I could use?” Sarah asks, wrapping her arms around herself.
I reach for the one on my lap, knowing it’s the only one down here. “Here. You can use this one.”
“Oh no. I don’t want to take it from you.” She swats the blanket away.
“I promise it’s fine.” I push the blanket toward her.
She purses her lips and then stands. “I have a better idea.” Taking a step, she sits beside me, our thighs touching. “We can share.” Her fingers reach for the blanket, pulling it toward her and spreading it over our legs.
“Cool.” I clear my throat.
Cool?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I reach over the side of the chair and grab the hidden bag. “I ah…got you something.”
Placing the bag on her lap, she scrunches her face, unsure what she’s about to find.
“Why?” she asks.
“Just open it.”
She sighs and quickly pulls out the contents, holding the black fabric between her fingers.
“I felt bad about your dress getting ruined the other night, so I went to the store to get you a new one,” I tell her.
She rolls in her bottom lip. “That was really sweet of you. Thank you.” She folds the dress, placing it neatly back in the bag. “About the other night. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your text after; it’s just…”
“I know, Sarah.”
She tucks in her chin, glancing down. “I don’t think you do,” she whispers.
My fingers tilt her chin up to face me. “Then why don’t you tell me?”
She shakes her head. “Can we just keep watching the movie?”
I hesitate, knowing I should push her when something is holding her back from me. But reluctantly, I release her chin. “Okay.”
She leans back, brushing her arm against mine. “But you don’t like this movie, do you?”
“I mean.” I shrug. “I wouldn’t say it’s one of my favorite movies.”
“What’s your favorite movie?”
“Pshh. That’s a tough question. There’re so many.”
She puts her index finger to her cheek, tilting her head. “On the count of three, name the first movie that comes to mind. One. Two. Three.”
“Star Wars: Episode Four,” I rush out. Shit. Why did I say that? She probably thinks I sound like a weird nerd.
You are a nerd.
“I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies. Let’s watch it.”
My brows crease. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty into this one.” Just as I look at the screen, the man has a knife the size of a baseball bat going into some person’s stomach—instant regret.
Sarah notices my reaction and giggles. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
She steals the remote and types in some words, and soon after, Stars Wars: A New Hope is playing on the TV.
“Okay, but if you don’t like it, we can shut it off and put the other movie back on,” I suggest.
“I always watch scary movies, so I want to watch something different tonight.” She pulls the blanket up higher on her waist.
“You do?”
“Yeah.” She shrugs her shoulders. “I can’t explain it, but those movies are like comfort movies. Like It, Halloween, Sleepy Hollow.” She looks lost in thought when she says, “It’s probably because Halloween was…is my mom’s favorite holiday.” She gazes over at me. “You think I’m weird. Don’t you?”
My lips curve up as I shake my head. She’s worried I’m going to think she’s weird when I was worried she was going to think I’m weird. “No, not at all.” As she turns her eyes toward the screen, I say, “So, my buddy Will told me you were at my game the other night. Heard you had special seats.”
She subtly shakes her head, pursing her lips. “Nope. He must have me confused with another girl who wanted to watch you play.”
I rub a hand over my face, laughing. “Why can’t you just admit you went to my game?”
She sighs, tossing her hands in the air. “Fine. I went to your game. Happy?”
“Why did you go?”
She looks down at the remote in her head. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
I let out a deep breath. “Can we cut the crap, Sarah?”
Her eyes shoot up to mine, widening.
“We both like each other. Probably more than like each other. And I’m tired of dancing around this thing we have going on.”
She bites down hard on her lip, her brows pinching together in concentration. “You shouldn’t like me.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I don’t know, we’re just…different.” She looks away from me. “You’re this gorgeous basketball god that all the girls at this school fawn over, and I’m just…me. I’m nobody.”
I reach out for her, gently tilting her chin toward me. “Hey, you’re right. I am a gorgeous basketball god,” I tease, making her scowl.
“You’re a real piece of work.” She nudges my arm with her shoulder but eventually lets out a little laugh. She turns to face me. “You seemed kind of tense when you first got home. Bad day?”
I know she’s deflecting, hoping I forget what we were just talking about and I’ll give her a few seconds to think that.
But only a few seconds.
“Yeah, kind of. Just a lot on my mind.” My fingers push back her hair, combing through the silky strands. “But it’s a lot better now.”
She blushes, easing into my touch.
“So, you going to tell me the real reason why you aren’t going home for Thanksgiving break?” I ask. “Because I know you didn’t give Natalie the honest one.”
She tenses, withdrawing from me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her against me. “We don’t have to talk about it, but I’m not okay with you spending the holiday alone.” I twirl a piece of her long, dark hair between my fingers. “You’re coming to my house for Thanksgiving.”
“W-what?” She laughs nervously. “I am not coming to your house for Thanksgiving.”
“And why not?”
“Because…” She fiddles with the blanket on her lap. “Because we barely know each other.”
I arch a brow. “You’ve come multiple times on my cock. I would say you know me much more intimately than most people do.”
Her cheeks blaze in a red hue. “You know what I mean.”
“All right.” I shrug. “My favorite color is green, my favorite season is winter, I have a lightsaber collection, I’m not big about going out and being with crowds, but I do like to read, and I’ve read every Harry Potter book five times. I have two brothers and I’m the middle child, I drink only iced coffee no matter what the temperature outside is, I’d like to get a dog someday, I can’t cook for shit but I’m really good at ordering food, I’m basically a Ping-Pong pro, and I like you.”
Her eyes widen. “Stop saying you like me.”
“Why?”
“Because—”
I press two fingers to her lips.
“You’re going to say something to try to push me away. It’s a defense mechanism you have. And I’m telling you right now, it won’t work anymore.”
Her eyes water the slightest bit, revealing how right I am.
“I know you’re scared. You’ve repeatedly told me that you don’t do relationships, but that’s not true, is it?”
Her eyes close as defeat dances across her features.
“You’ve never been in a relationship because you keep your guard up. It’s not that you don’t do them; you don’t allow anyone to get close to you. But guess what?”
I remove my fingers from her lips.
“What?” she whispers.
“I’m not just anyone.”
Her big green eyes pierce mine.
“I’m the guy who will change that for you.”
Her body relaxes beside me as she takes in my words. “Okay,” she breathes.
“Okay?” I ask, a little shocked. “Just like that?”
She closes her eyes. “I’m tired of fighting this.” Her eyes open, vulnerability flashing across them. “But can we start slow? I just have some things I need to…figure out first.” She looks down, her hands fisting the blanket.
I grip her chin lightly, angling her face up toward mine. “We can go as slow as you want. Although we have covered all the bases…”
She shakes her head, but there’s a small smile on her face.
“And Sarah, if you ever refer to yourself as less than me again, we’re going to have a problem. I never want to hear the words ‘I’m nobody’ coming out of your mouth when you’re everything to me. Understood?” My thumb floats over her parted bottom lip.
She swallows and then hesitantly nods. “Yes.”
“Good. And you’re coming to Thanksgiving at my family’s house. It’s only a thirty-minute drive from the city in the suburbs.”
“That doesn’t really feel like starting slowly to me…”
“If I tell them we’re just friends, will that make you more comfortable to come over?”
She bites her lower lip and nods.
“Okay. Then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Thank you.” She reaches up, placing the palm of her hand against my cheek. Her thumb brushes over my stubble as her eyes fixate on my lips.
I lean down before I can stop myself, pressing my lips to hers. I can feel her body melt against mine until, suddenly, she pulls apart.
She looks down. Anywhere but at me. “What about all those other girls?”
“What other girls?”
“The ones that fawn over you at your games or when you’re out in public. When I went to your game, two cheerleaders thought they were going home with you that night. And then, when we all went to that new bar, a group of girls just flocked to you at the table like you were a celebrity.”
I sigh. “I won’t lie to you and say that doesn’t happen because it does—a lot. But I genuinely do not give one shit about those other girls,” I state firmly.
“You don’t?”
I shake my head. “You’re the only girl that’s taken up space in my head. Night and day.” My lips land on her temple. “Playing basketball professionally and being known for having a famous father will, unfortunately, keep me in the spotlight. Girls will see my name and the dollar bill signs but they don’t see me. The real me. That guy I reserve only for you.”
She studies me momentarily, taking in my confession before simply snuggling beside me, pulling the blanket up around us, and hitting play on the movie.
“Paul?”
“Yeah, baby girl?”
“Do you really have a collection of lightsabers?”
“Yeah, but don’t tell Nate. He thinks I only have two.”
We both laugh, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, I’ve broken a piece of the indestructible wall she keeps up around her heavily guarded heart.