34. PAUL
An obnoxiously loud beep wakes me from my nightmare.
My eyes flutter open against a bright light, and I immediately notice pristine white walls and an overpowering antiseptic smell that fills my lungs.
Where the fuck am I?
Panicked, I try to sit up but am immediately met with pain radiating throughout my chest, eliciting a bear-like groan.
“Paul?”
Turning my head to my side, I see her.
The love of my life.
The mother of my child.
The woman I would jump in front of a bullet for.
And did.
Holding my hand, sitting beside me, Sarah instantly stands, gently resting her shaking hand on my cheek. Her exquisite green eyes lock with mine as tears threaten to spill over and pour down her purple bruised cheeks. She inhales a deep, resigned breath, closing her eyes. “I knew you’d never let me go.”
And with a single blink, everything flashes before me.
Sarah kneeled before Greyson with duct tape on her hands and mouth. Tears fell from her eyes over a fresh purple bruise forming on her cheek.
Greyson pressed a gun into Sarah’s head.
I lunged in front of Sarah, knocking her to the ground.
Greyson pulled the trigger.
A pain spread in my chest that I fought against with everything I had as Greyson attempted to pull the trigger again, but I twisted his wrist, watching as he mistakenly pulled it on himself.
Greyson fell to the floor, lifeless. Blood was pouring out of his neck.
I fell on top of Sarah, trying to keep her safe.
And that’s where my memory stops.
“Sarah,” I croak, my throat dry and tender.
She sucks in her bottom lip, trembling from head to toe. “I thought I lost you.”
“I’m here, baby girl.” I squeeze her hand reassuringly. All I want to do is kiss her. Kiss her with everything in me. But seeing that I can barely sit up, I can’t do that. “I’m going to need you to do something for me.”
“Anything.”
“Kiss me, Sarah,” I beg tenderly.
She offers a half smile before gently kissing my lips, and I cherish every second of it.
As she slightly pulls away, letting out a shuddering breath, my eyes land on her stomach, and fear sets in. “Are you okay? Is Lily okay?” I examine her, panicking that something might have happened to her or our baby.
But this time, her smile grows. “I’m fine.” Her hands rest against her stomach. “And Lily is doing great. The doctors checked me over while you were in surgery and found nothing wrong.”
I smile, relief filling me as I slump back against my pillow. “Thank God.” Sarah holds a plastic cup of water before me, guiding the straw between my lips for a few small sips. “How long have I been here?”
“Five days.” She looks down, clasping her hand around mine. “Do you remember anything that happened?”
I nod. “I remember finding you with Greyson. And I remember the shots going off and falling on top of you. But that’s the last thing I can recall.”
She remains quiet, not looking away from our hands.
“Sarah?”
Her bottom lip trembles. “I was so scared.”
My thumb brushes the back of her hand. “I was, too.” I pat the spot beside me. “Come up here. I need you next to me.”
She shakes her head. “I’ll hurt you. Besides, I should probably go get one of the nurses.”
“Not yet.” I try to squeeze her hand, but my grip is weak. “I just want to be with you right now.” I look down at the bed. “Is it just me, or does this bed seem bigger than a normal hospital bed?”
“It’s bigger. They had to give you one of their special beds because of your height.”
“Then that means there is plenty of room for you to get up here,” I add. “I need you in my arms, baby girl. Please.”
She purses her lips, looking over the free space, before finally giving in. Ever so gently, she slides in beside me, being cautious not to touch me as she lays on her side.
“That’s better,” I note, wrapping my arm over her waist.
She shows a slight smile that quickly fades. Taking a deep breath, she rests her head on the pillow.
“The security team at the arena heard the gunshots and then me screaming for help in the locker room. They ran inside and quickly got the paramedics, who took you to the hospital and brought you in for emergency surgery. I was with you every step of the way, refusing to leave your side, but the second you went in for surgery, your mom took me to get both myself and the baby checked out. Everything was fine, but…there was so much…blood on me. Your blood. Ray and Tina brought some things for me to shower with in your hospital room so I wouldn’t have to leave, and Kevin even brought me a change of clothes from your room.” She gazes down at the oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants on her body.
My clothes.
“Your surgery was a little more complicated than expected and took a little longer than they anticipated because the bullet…” She sucks in a deep breath, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “The bullet missed your heart by only one centimeter.” Her eyes meet mine. “One fucking centimeter, Paul,” she whispers.
The truth of her words rattle me. I almost didn’t make it. I almost died in front of her, never being able to meet our baby. But I don’t want her to know how freaked out I am by this.
“Baby girl, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” I say softly.
“You don’t know that,” she quietly sobs.
“Hey…” I reach for her chin. “I made you a promise, didn’t I? I’m never letting you go, Sarah.” My thumb runs across her cheek, wiping her tears away.
Her chin wobbles. “I love you…so damn much. You did something for me that no one has ever been able to do. You brought color back into my life, and I can never thank you enough for that.” She reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers. “I need you… Lily needs you. So, please don’t ever put me through this again, Paul. I thought…”
“I know.” I press my lips to her temple. “Because I thought the same thing when I saw him pressing the gun into the side of your head.”
I thought I lost her.
I thought I lost my whole world.
I thought I lost the love of my life.
But she’s here, lying beside me, looking like the angel of my dreams.
“Where’s my family?” I ask, looking around the spacious room and seeing their coats and things flung across different chairs.
“Oh.” She wipes her eyes. “Tina took Lucas home to get some sleep, but the rest of them just went to the cafeteria a few minutes before you woke up. They’ll be back any second. They’ve…”
“What?”
She smiles when she says, “They’ve been here for me. I mean, well, they were obviously here for you. But I just felt like they were my…”
“Family?”
Her eyes tear up for an entirely different reason, making me smile.
“They are your family.” I brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
She sniffles, nodding. “The police came by yesterday. But it was mostly just a formality. Ray handled everything with them and stood by my side when they needed to talk to me. They told me that the security cameras captured Greyson forcing me down the hall into the locker room, and then you running in during the game. And the only fingerprints on the gun is Greyson’s. Your coach told the police that he got a call from Greyson’s dad, Mr. Black, right before the game because he wanted to know if Greyson was at the game. He told him he was missing for days and wasn’t responding to any messages.” Her eyes meet mine when she says, “The police will need to speak with you eventually to get your side of things.”
She gently squeezes my hand, her thumb caressing my skin. “Nate, Natalie, Jason, Vanessa, and Glen have been in and out of here the past few days. It’s been really nice having everyone here.” She yawns. And for the first time, I notice the deep, dark circles under her eyes.
“Have you gotten any sleep?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Not much.” Her slender finger points over to the small couch on the opposite side of the room. “Ray insisted that I take that couch as my bed, and I did, but it felt so far away from you. I kept getting up occasionally to ensure you were still breathing.” She slowly rubs her stomach. “You…you saved my life. Our lives.” Looking up at me with a glimmer in her eyes, she says, “Ever since my parents passed…no one…no one has ever loved me or cared for me as much as you have.”
I cup her cheek, bringing our foreheads together. “I would do it all over again, knowing you and our baby are safe.”
She takes a deep breath, her fingers tugging gently on my hospital gown. Her eyes connect with mine, and I find myself getting lost in a deep sea of green.
“Look who finally decided to wake up.”
Kevin’s voice breaks us from the trance. Glancing toward the door, I find my family entering the room with food trays.
My mom quickly scurries over to my free side, dropping her tray on the closest table. “Oh, Paul!” she wails, hugging my head against her shoulder.
I wrap my arm around her back. “I’m okay, Mom. Promise.”
“As much as I want to tell you to never do something like that again, I know why you did.” She looks over at Sarah with a smile, wiping away her tears. “Your father…” She clears her throat before saying, “Your father would be damn proud of the man you’ve become.”
My eyes water as I suck in my lower lip and nod, her words piercing me directly in my aching chest. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Thought we lost you there for a second,” Kevin comments, walking up to the side of the bed with bloodshot eyes.
“You definitely gave us a good scare,” Ray adds, wiping his eyes.
“I’m okay,” I tell them, meaning every word. I’m okay.
Ray grips my shoulder. “Guess we’ll have to take it easy on you for the next few months.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Do I even want to know the expected recovery time?”
“Probably not,” Kevin answers. “But this just means you’ll have more time for video games with me.” He smiles, his eyes watering.
“You know I’ll just kick your ass,” I joke, trying to ease the somber mood.
“You’re delusional. It must be all the pain meds you’re on,” he quips, wiping his face with his arm. “I’m really glad you’re okay, man.”
“We all are,” Mom affirms with watering eyes, wrapping an arm around Kevin and kissing the top of my head, Sarah’s head, and then Ray’s. “We’re a family. A damn strong one, I must say. And there’s nothing we can’t get through without each other.” Her eyes land on Sarah, softening.
Sarah clears her throat, sitting up. “I just want to thank you for welcoming me into your family and making me feel…loved. I had a pretty lonely childhood, and I spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever be a part of a family again.” She swallows, closing her eyes. “But twelve years later, you guys have made that possible for me.” She opens her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek. “And it means a lot to me, so thank you.”
I gently clutch her hand, knowing it took a lot for her to be vulnerable in front of my family. To open up a hidden part of herself for them to see.
“One of the best things that’s happened to our family was adding you and this new baby to it, Sarah,” my mom says, fighting back tears. My mom glances at me quickly before looking at Sarah and saying, “This is your family.”
And I can’t wait for the day I can finally make it official by giving her my last name.