Chapter 7
Olivia
Iwoke up thinking about Caleb.
My face scrunched up. He was still on my mind. I didn’t like that.
I looked at the side of my bed. The book was still in the reading chair by the window, in the grey light of early morning.
“I don’t want to see you hurt.”
My face warmed — more obvious against cold.
I thought about his gentleness. His patience. No matter how much I pushed him, he always gave way to me.
Thinking about it only made me think about his face, and the tiniest shifts in his brows and mouth whenever we spoke.
Okay, that’s really enough.
I hopped out of bed.
I did not need to think about this further.
I pulled back the bedroom’s curtain to let the rest of the dawn shine through.
The sun wasn’t fully out yet. A bluish tinge cast over the mountains, creating a somber but visible landscape.
There was fog, but not so much of it that I couldn’t see ahead of me.
Time to jog things off.
This time, I chose to run down the path and into town.
I thought it would be hard, given the drive up to Ashwood estate, but it was relatively easy.
After Stella’s visit at the manor, I started to visit town a little more. Mostly in the mornings before starting my care for Jake.
Most of the lights in town were off, minus the diner and a couple of working lodges.
I tried to take in the little things I saw people were doing: loading cars, sweeping storefronts, hosing down shrubbery.
If I kept my mind busy, I didn’t have to think.
Out here, I could just move. Feel the pavement under my feet. Breathe.
“Well, well, well.” A distant but familiar voice called out.
I turned around. Elias was coming up from around the curve of the main road. His grin was wider than the last time I saw him.
“I must say,” he said between breaths. “This is starting to feel intentional.”
“Hello, Elias,” I said. I tried not to sound too friendly. It was hard, though.
After seeing Elias outside the perimeter, we ran into one another several more times in town. They were always brief. A few hellos and cordial, low-stakes conversations. He threw a few flirts in my direction, and I would wave them off.
Elias gave me a once-over.
“You look more worked up than usual.”
I remembered Jake saying I made faces that were easy to read. I hated that he was correct.
“Trying to stay focused.” I refused to elaborate.
“Hope they’re not working you too hard.”
Our jog slowed down into a walk as we entered the town center. It was comfortable in its own way. We had the excuse of exhaustion and focus on physical activity to keep the quiet from feeling too loaded.
The rest of the town was fully waking up. Metal gates clattered. People moved in and out of storefronts, and others lingered on the street carrying their own conversations.
I was ready to take in the white noise and keep my focus on my feet.
But then Elias stopped walking.
“I’ve been going back and forth on something,” he said. He didn’t bother to face me. “Whether to say it.”
Please don’t ask me out on a date.
“The Ashwoods.”
It was my turn to stop.
I tried to make out Elias’s face. It still carried the breeziness it always did, but there was now a tinge of hesitation.
Or something else?
“What about them?” I asked.
“They have a complicated history,” he said.
“That much I knew. Spooky. Secretive—”
“No,” Elias said, shaking his head. “I’m talking about conflicts.”
I waited for him to continue.
Elias’s eyes wandered around town. He didn’t turn his head, but I could tell he was checking to see if anyone was listening.
“Let’s just say there are people who aren’t too happy with them.”
I ran through what I’d heard about the Ashwoods. The biggest complaint was always about them keeping scarce.
“What problem could people have with them?” I asked.
“Things that old come with problems,” Elias remarked.
Elias took a step forward and faced me properly. He placed his hands on his hips. I noticed him tapping his left foot.
“Look,” he said. “You’re someone who knows how to trust your instincts. I get that vibe from you.”
“And?”
Elias leaned in even closer. His voice remained low. “I’m telling you to trust those instincts,” he said. “Poking around doesn’t hurt.”
There was more sunlight now, but a chill ran down my spine.
I already did my share of poking around. I already asked the Ashwoods more questions than I ever needed to in any other assignment I took.
I knew there was no point in pressing.
“The Ashwoods have been good to me,” I told Elias. It sounded more convincing than it felt.
Elias’s smile tightened. “Of course.”
“And you’re their ‘neighbor’.” I crossed my arms. “Isn’t it bad form to be speaking ill of them?”
Elias’s laugh caught me off guard. It sounded different. It wasn’t airy. It felt… bitter.
“Trust me,” he said. “I am the least problematic of their ‘neighbors.’”
I started walking again. I didn’t need to hear this. At least not from him.
“I’m not trying to look for trouble,” I said. “What I do as their nurse is for me to decide.”
Elias followed. Even with his longer stride, he kept his footwork light. He shuffled alongside me. I ignored him.
“You can’t be serious,” he said.
“I really, really am.”
Elias scoffed. “I’m not trying to offend you,” he said. “I’m looking out for you.”
“I can do that myself.”
This time, Elias’s smile fully disappeared. “At least take what I said into consideration.”
“Bye, Elias,” I said loudly.
My walk broke into a run.
I expected Elias to follow me even more. I didn’t bother to look back to make sure.
Now I was irritated for a different reason.
I got away from the manor so I could stop thinking about Caleb. Now I was forced to.
I heard Caleb’s words again.
“I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Whether Elias was right or just trying to mess with me, the sentence now had a whole new angle.
Who could the Ashwoods possibly hurt?
As the week drew to a close, the Ashwood estate’s energy transformed once more.
The first thing to change was the Ashwood siblings’ routines.
I didn’t see them much because I spent all day with Jake, but now I noticed Donovan was gone days at a time. I didn’t ask. I assumed it was estate work.
Caleb’s activity was the opposite. I usually saw him in the morning in the kitchen and then late at night at the fireplace. There were some days he’d be in his study, usually the middle of the week, but now his schedule felt more erratic.
I caught his footsteps at odd hours. Far deeper into the night. Far earlier than dawn.
“It’s a busy season,” Maureen said, while we were both in the kitchen.
She finished plating a dish she made for Jake. With him being in less pain, she threw herself into making heartier meals.
“Oh?” I didn’t know how to ask without sounding too invasive.
“Yes,” she explained. “It’s nothing to fret over. Things will go back to normal soon enough.”
But even that felt like a lie.
From my bedroom window, I would catch Tomas at the perimeter watching the woods.
“Afraid I can’t make it this week,” Stella said over the phone later that week. “Have some things to deal with at The Tap.”
After her first visit, she would come in every now and then. Usually with a few bottles in tow. We talked, she complained about the bar, made passive remarks at Donovan, and zipped.
But now, she was making herself scarce.
I thought back to Elias’s words.
“I’m telling you to trust those instincts.”
Perhaps the only positive change was Jake’s condition.
He was steadier since I’d adjusted his regimen last week. His exhaustion had eased, and his fever held just over 100°F.
The tradeoff was the silence.
We would chat our normal amount, but he had less energy.
I asked if it was his pain.
Jake merely looked at the window. I noticed he was gazing in the same direction Tomas always patrolled.
“I’m just extra tired, nowadays,” he explained. “Maybe my body’s just catching up from all that previous pain, you know?”
“Do you want me to read a book to you today?”
Jake remained distracted, but he nodded.
Even with his condition finding a moment of respite, I used every excuse I could find to stay by Jake’s side. I stayed past the necessary hours, trying to convince myself that it was my way of making sure he didn’t relapse.
The truth was that focusing on work meant losing myself in things that made some form of sense. Business. Routine. No questions or emotions needed to play a part in this.
I didn’t need to feel bothered. I didn’t need to wonder.
I made peace with this already, I reminded myself. This is just how they are.
But there was always a “why”, wasn’t there?
Late afternoon, I went to the private library to return a book.
Caleb was there.
He was at the far window, his back to me. I could tell he recently came in. His jacket was damp from the mist, and I could see mud tracked onto his shoes. I even caught a few specks of it on his jaw.
Even standing still, his breathing was off. His hands fumbled with the pages of the new book he was reading, whereas before, he always handled them with ease.
He was tense from something. It wasn’t unlike when I first found him.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Caleb turned.
“Olivia,” he finally registered. His surprise smoothed into composure, and he nodded. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” I said. “How long were you out?”
Caleb’s brow furrowed. I pointed to his feet.
“Ah, yes,” he said. “Not long. Maintenance. The estate’s large, so we have a duty to maintain some of the forest areas. Falling branches, cracks in the road…”
“And you’re sure you’re okay?”
Caleb snapped his book shut. He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. “I am.”
I should have left, but I couldn’t help but linger.
Maybe it was what Elias said. Maybe it was the heavy atmosphere.
But whatever the case, I wanted to stay next to him.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb asked.
I realized I was staring at him.
I crossed the room before I thought about it. I stopped in front of him. Caleb stiffened, but he didn’t move away.
There was no fireplace in the library, but I could feel warmth radiating around me. My heartbeat was steady, but also louder in my ears. I noticed it matched the narrow rise and fall of Caleb’s chest.
“Nothing,” I murmured. My eyes lingered on Caleb’s face. I couldn’t look away.
I focused on the dirt on his jaw.
“There’s just a little something on your face…”
Without thinking about it, I reached up and pressed my thumb against the smear on his jaw.
Caleb’s hand shot up and covered mine.
Oddly, it didn't startle me at all.
Caleb’s hand pushed my palm flat against his face. I realized the warmth I felt was coming from him. His breath stopped, so did mine.
His eyes were on mine now. Those pale green, gentle but focused eyes.
Caleb looked at me like I was the only solid thing in the room. As far as I was concerned, he was the only thing in the room as well.
There was no carpet under my feet. No light coming from the lamp in the corner or the cracks in the library window’s blinds.
A million possibilities ran through my mind, but all of them wanted — almost expected — the same thing.
I waited.
Instead… he pulled away.
Caleb turned his head and lowered his hand.
I retreated as fast as I could. My heart kicked out of rhythm. My face flushed. I lowered my arm. The room settled again.
Neither of us said anything for a moment. The fire in the hearth down the hall made a small sound.
Caleb then reached past me and picked up whatever paper was on the desk behind me, and the studied normalcy of the gesture made something in my throat tighten. He said good night, quietly, and left.
Once again, he left me alone with my own feelings. Wordless and confused.
I picked up a different library book and left. I didn’t bother to check the title.
I tried not to think too hard about what that meant.
My phone buzzed in my hand.
Stella
This week is DONE. Please tell me you’re free for drinks this weekend.
I typed back: Yes!
I stared at the screen for a second, then set the phone down and pushed myself off the bed. Sleep felt like the better option than sitting there and turning the same thoughts over again.
The hallway was quiet. I passed the back window on my way to the bathroom — and stopped.
Caleb stood at the tree line.
Still.
His back was to the house, shoulders set like he was listening for something out in the dark. I caught his profile when he shifted, just slightly. And something in it didn’t match.
He was stripped of his usual calm, his usual control.
He was afraid.