Chapter 9
Caleb
Aforeign scent sat wrong along the eastern perimeter. I tracked it without thinking, the tension pressing against our territory staying with me as I moved.
I picked up Olivia’s scent in the distance. Stella said she’d be at The Tap. I didn’t think twice.
But then her scent changed.
Something I grew accustomed to over the years were the different fragments of Olivia’s scent. I could pick out her anger, her frustration, any unease or anxiety she felt.
Tonight, however, it was different. It was sharp — and wrong.
My heart sank.
I closed the distance as fast as I could. What was half a mile became nothing at all in a matter of seconds.
I didn't need to think about where I was going — I only needed to follow the pull of the bond.
I heard the impact. Metal. Tires losing the road.
My chest tightened.
I scanned the roads frantically.
In my wolf form, it was easy to make out shapes in the darkness. I could narrow my focus, zoom in through trees, and determine movement from other living creatures.
A brighter patch of light came from the slope below. I could see Olivia’s car flickering by a tree stump. The headlights died out as quickly as they’d come on.
In the distance, I could hear her running.
Olivia’s scream cut through me. That’s when I saw three more shadows move after her. I closed in. I hopped from the edges of the mountain and pursued the group on the ground.
They saw me. They sneered, then moved faster ahead.
The wolf inside me tensed. It had no desire to stay still any longer. After that, it blurred.
In a way, I remembered what happened. The bites, the lunges at Olivia, how I fought back. But the memory of everything felt hazy.
All that mattered to me was that nothing touched her.
Seven years ago, I swore nothing would touch her again. I broke that once. I wouldn’t again.
When I shifted back, my heart was still pounding furiously. I almost expected it to stop.
“Caleb?” Olivia's voice broke on my name — thin with fear, heavy with relief.
I looked at her. Just being this near her, made the energy surge back through my muscles. I took a step forward. I stumbled.
Olivia rushed toward me and draped her parka over my shoulders.
Her skin brushed across mine. I wanted to pull her in, embrace her, make sure she was real — alive.
I took a deep breath and forced the urge down.
In the distance, I could hear the Voss pack's wolves vanishing into the tree line. They were gone, but I knew that didn’t mean safety.
I walked in the direction of Olivia’s car.
“We need to go.”
It was past midnight when we finally returned to Ashwood estate.
The kitchen was empty save for Olivia and me.
Olivia’s first aid kit lay open on the table. The scent of antiseptic felt unpleasant for my heightened senses.
I looked at her. Her focus was on the bite marks on my arms. She dabbed disinfectant on them and brushed off the debris. Seven weeks of watching her work, and I had never seen her hands anything but steady.
She said nothing.
Olivia spared me questions during the ride earlier, as well. We both knew when to wait.
“This might sting a little,” her first words since the altercation.
I didn’t flinch as she pressed the iodine down deep into the crevices of the wound. I could feel the wounds themselves slowly retracting, fresh new skin covering them.
Olivia stared at me, but chose not to question it.
Instead, she held the gauze in place. She followed protocol anyway.
Once she tended to — or attempted to — most of my wounds, she finally sat across from me. The kitchen booth’s seats were only a foot or so apart. But I never felt as distant as I did now.
“Tell me,” she said. It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t a demand either. “Tell me everything.”
Years ago, I imagined how this conversation would go. I still wasn’t prepared.
I started the only way I knew how.
“I’m not human,” I murmured. “Not the way you mean.”
Olivia answered the next part for me.
“You’re a werewolf.”
I nodded. Half heavy with guilt, half relieved she finally knew something I'd always wished she could.
“We prefer to call ourselves wolves,” I explained. “But, yes.”
Olivia started putting away the medical supplies, a habit of hers to keep her hands busy when she needed time to process things.
I went on, a little more quietly. “We live in packs, and we hold territory. The Ashwood estate is the one that belongs to my family.”
Olivia’s brows lifted. “Jake,” she surmised.
I nodded. “Yes,” I said. “And the ‘condition’ he has is him experiencing his first true ‘shift.’ The first shift takes a toll. It hurts. His body’s changing.”
My voice trailed off.
I thought about how much Jake suffered since his shift first showed signs. The guilt of keeping it from Olivia weighed on me for his sake as much as for hers.
“I had no way to tell you ways to properly help him,” I said. “Not without telling you everything.”
“If he’s turning into a werewolf,” she said. “Then why have a human take care of him at all?”
“We needed someone who could be present for it medically. Jake’s still mostly human. If the shift took too much of a toll on his body, it would be hard to say if he would survive.”
“Hence you hired me.”
I nodded yet again.
"We hired you specifically." My fingers drummed once against the table before I caught myself.
I was getting closer to what I had always wanted to say.
"You were already here. Bringing you into the estate was the safer option — safer than leaving you in town, in a place I couldn't watch, before Voss did. "
“Voss?” she asked.
“Our rival pack,” I said. “They’ve been prowling the territory for ages. Our conflict is as old as the mountains themselves. If they found you, it would be far too dangerous.”
Olivia circled back to the larger point. “So why would they be looking for me? I don't know anything. I'm just a travel nurse who —"
She stopped. From her scent, I could sense the slow arrival of realization. Something that she herself never examined until just now.
Her eyes finally met mine. Compassionate but unwavering.
It was time.
“It's because of seven years ago," I said.
I was on a run. Northern California.
We have allied packs scattered through the Cascade corridor, and a few times a year I head south to reconvene with them. Allies only stay allies if you maintain them, after all.
During one of my patrols there, I made my way through the Redwoods. I made it a point to avoid the tourists hiking along the trails.
But then…
I caught your scent.
At first, I didn’t know what it was. There’s no warning. It just… hit. The wolf knew first, and then it bled through, and suddenly everything else went quiet. Whatever you were thinking about a second ago — gone. Like it never mattered.
For me, it felt like a shockwave. I almost lost my footing along the mountainside.
It was followed by the gentle spread of warmth.
I followed it. Recklessly. Desperately.
You were there. With your family. I believe you were eighteen at the time.
Your parents were ahead of the trail while you lingered to watch a few birds.
I remember you standing in a wash of afternoon light watching a hawk cut through the canopy like you had all the time in the world.
That’s when you saw me.
Our eyes locked. I couldn’t look away. It was like time didn’t exist.
You were the only thing that mattered.
When wolves find their mate… they claim them. They make their bond known and let it form.
I couldn’t do that to you.
You had an entire life ahead of you, a world where you were happy.
It took every ounce of strength in my body, but I tore myself away.
I told myself I was giving you time. That I’d come back when you were older, when I’d figured out how to do it cleanly — how to approach it without dragging you into something you didn’t choose. I told myself I’d do it right.
And then… the accident happened.
“The accident happened,” Olivia repeated.
I nodded solemnly.
“Those… vile creatures attacked you and your parents,” I affirmed. “I made myself scarce after seeing you only to feel your end of the bond in distress.”
Olivia's body stiffened. Her jaw tightened, and her gaze drifted to a point on the table between us. But I forced myself to continue.
“You almost died that night,” I said. “When I saw you lying there, barely breathing, covered in wounds… I almost lost it.”
My lips pressed tightly together.
To this day, the image haunted me.
“I saved you in the only way I knew how. I shared my life force with you.”
Olivia straightened up.
“Wait…” she murmured. “The ranger that was hovering over me that day…”
I nodded.
“I went to you before anyone approached,” I explained. “I shared my blood with you. That was enough to not only lock our bond in place, but to keep you alive. My only wish was that I could have done the same for your parents. I…”
I couldn’t keep my voice steady. Guilt ground against my bones like a mill.
“I’m so sorry, Olivia…” I murmured. “I understand if this changes… everything.”
I had nothing more to say after that. The air between us stood still. For everything I was capable of doing as a wolf, I couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze.
I felt Olivia stand up. I expected her to leave the kitchen. Instead, she sat next to me.
I finally looked up.
An ache carved itself through my chest as I stared at her. Her eyes showed no resentment or disgust, only wonder.
Olivia smiled, the most open smile I'd ever seen in all her weeks here.
"Of course I can't see you the same way," she breathed. “You saved me.”
The back of her fingers ran across my face. Something heavier than breath lodged beneath my ribs. I kept my face still and held her gaze as long as I could.
Olivia put her hand against my chest. The same gesture as that first morning on the lawn — palm flat, fingers spread across the center.
I could feel her own heartbeat through it. It began to beat in sync with mine.
I closed my hand over hers. In seconds, the gap between us vanished. I clutched her hand tightly as she leaned into me.
Her lips firmly pressed against mine. I kissed her back. Every ounce of longing I had pushed itself into that one singular motion. All sense unraveled after that.
Olivia’s breath seized as my arms pulled her closer. It was the closest our bodies had ever been. Her hand clutched the collar of my shirt. I could feel the seams snap under the tension.
Stop. The only sane part of my brain cautioned me.
I wanted to be with her. I wanted to stay.
I turned Olivia around so that her back was pressed against the chair. She looked at me, patient but anticipating.
Stop.
I froze. I pulled back.
Olivia gasped as she tried to catch her breath. I pressed my forehead to hers and stayed there, trying to clear my head.
Finally, I straightened up.
Olivia’s hand dropped limply into her lap.
"You should get some rest," I said. My voice was still shaking. "We can talk more in the morning."
Olivia merely nodded.
I left the kitchen, my mind racing.
I rushed out to the end of the hallway as fast as I could. I put my palm against the wall and stood there. I couldn’t fully register what just happened.
“You saved me.”
She said it so simply. So definitively. I could have corrected her. I could have stopped her.
The story I told Olivia tonight was true. But I failed to tell her everything. Olivia thought I saved her. What she didn’t know was that I was the one who put a death mark on them.
The plaster was cool against my forehead. Outside, through the window at the end of the hall, the fog thickened over the tree line.
I stood in the shadows.
I pushed off the wall and walked toward my room.
I didn’t go back. I did not let myself think about the way she'd said my name, or the warmth of her forehead against mine, or any of it.
I was not particularly successful at any of these things.
One day, I insisted. One day, she’ll know the full truth.