Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
It feels surreal to be standing in the line of students waiting to be admitted into Wes’s house.
Arms crossed over my chest, I keep expecting people to recognize me as the girl from the forum or the girl who used to be Wes Tucker’s almost-girlfriend.
I wait for them to point and laugh and wonder, what is she doing on the outside?
How did she screw things up so fast? They don’t, of course, too concerned with their own lives to notice me.
Slowly, I inch forward. I know I could probably text Wes to come outside and get me, but I don’t want to burden him. It’s his night. His party. His last hurrah at college. If he still wants to talk, we’ll talk, but I wouldn’t blame him if he’s changed his mind.
I really hope he didn’t, though.
Twenty minutes pass before I make it to the steps, and Kaden shoots me a look of pure disbelief. “Ivy, why are you waiting in this fucking line?” I shrug as he shoos away the girls in front of me and ushers me forward. “Jesus, get in there. Last I saw Wes he was on the back deck.”
I give Wes’s housemate a small smile. “Thanks, Kaden.”
“I’m glad you came,” he says earnestly. “Now, get out of here and go find Doc.”
I nod and step inside, hesitating in the entryway. I’ve been in this house a million times, and yet, I’m filled with uncertainty, wondering if maybe I imagined Wes’s invitation. Conjured it up in my head somehow.
I scan the faces for one that’s familiar, pausing when I spot Audrey in the kitchen. She’s leaning against the counter, a red Solo cup clutched in her hand, and I gravitate toward her.
The moment she recognizes me, she gives a warm smile, and I find myself smiling back, struck again by her resemblance to her brother. “Oh, good, someone I know,” she says, her shoulders sagging in relief. “Hi again, Ivy.”
“Hi,” I say, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden. I shift on my feet. Pick at my nails. “I didn’t, um, realize you’d be here.”
“I thought what the hell. When in Rome, right? Though it’s been a minute since I’ve been to a college party.” She raises her eyebrows at a group of guys playing flip cup in the living room. “There’s a lot more testosterone than I remember.”
“Yeah, that’s a fair criticism,” I say seriously, and she laughs. I gesture at the cup in her hand. “What are you drinking?”
She wrinkles her nose. “A vodka soda. I’d offer to make you one, but it sucks. I’d kill for some Sauvignon Blanc right now.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think the guys keep white wine in stock.”
She snorts. “Yeah, I figured. I’d ask you to put in a good word, but I guess it doesn’t matter now that he’s graduating.”
“That,” I say. “Plus my word doesn’t mean much anymore.”
Her head tilts to the side as she studies me. “What do you mean?”
“Oh.” I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering why I felt the need to say that aloud. “I mean, Wes and I are no longer…” I hesitate, searching for the right term. “Seeing each other,” is what I settle on.
Audrey’s eyes widen at my admission before turning sympathetic. “Oh, Ivy. I had no idea. He was talking about you a couple weeks ago. I’m sorry, I just assumed…”
Her response is so heartfelt, so unexpected, that my throat thickens. I swallow, but before I can respond, a commotion outside draws our attention. Our heads snap toward the window to see that some (probably drunk) guy knocked over one of the deck chairs.
Audrey snorts. “It’s a little early in the night to be destroying property, don’t you think?”
“Understatement,” I say, watching the guy try to right the outdoor furniture. I’m about to look away when he raises his head, giving me a clear view of his face.
The air drains from my lungs.
The room tilts.
The last person I expected to find standing on Wes’s back deck is Mason Bryce.
Anger sears through my chest, uncontrollable and violent, because how could Wes not warn me he was coming? How could he invite him here? How could he do this to me again?
The questions assault my mind, one after another, as panic rises in my chest. I grip the counter so hard my knuckles turn white and focus on my breathing until I calm myself down enough to see reason.
Wes did nothing wrong. He can’t protect me from something he doesn’t realize is a threat.
He can’t warn me about something he doesn’t know is a problem.
And that’s on me. That’s one hundred percent my fault.
“W-When—” I snap my mouth shut as my stutter prohibits me from speaking. My heart slams against the wall of my chest as I attempt to ask the question again. “When did he get here?” I manage, my eyes still locked on the man outside the window.
Audrey follows my line of sight. “Who? Mason?”
I nod, my grip tightening on the countertop. “I didn’t see him at the presentation.”
“Ugh, don’t get me started on that guy. I told Wes not to invite him.”
My brows shoot up at her unexpected response. “You…you did?”
“Oh yeah. Mason Bryce is the most unreliable friend on the planet. By the time he showed up to the stadium, everyone was packing up their stuff. It’s not surprising, but still rude.
” She shakes her head and takes a sip of her drink, wincing at the taste.
“Wes gives him too many chances to be a good friend. If it were me, I would have cut him off ages ago.”
I blink at her, processing this information. “So…you’ve known him for a long time, then?”
Audrey rolls her eyes. “Unfortunately. He was always over at our house growing up, and he was the biggest instigator. Tried to rope Wes into all kinds of bullshit. Thankfully, Mom and Dad put Wes in a sport for every season, and we saw less and less of him. I had kind of hoped their friendship fizzled out, but clearly not.”
“What sort of things did he, um, instigate?”
“When they were kids?” she asks, and I nod.
“Oh, you know. Stupid, dangerous bullshit. Pranks. Lies. Stealing shit from the neighbors. Throwing rocks at cars. Spying on the girl who lived across the street. Annoying the shit out of me and my friends. Honestly, I don’t think he’s changed much.
Mom told me he got into some trouble at Harrington, which isn’t exactly surprising to me.
He has to repeat senior year if he wants to graduate with a degree. ”
“Wow. Really?”
“Yup. I have a feeling he’s gonna be one of those guys who takes six years just to do their undergrad.” She snickers a little, finding the idea amusing. “When did you meet Mason, anyway?”
“Th-the spring break trip,” I force out, stumbling over the lie. “I didn’t get the best vibe from him.”
Her brows pull together. “Really? Why? Did something happen with him?”
My mouth pops open, but it takes some time for me to formulate a response. “What…what do you mean?”
“I’m not sure,” she says slowly. “But he just seems like the kind of guy where anything is possible, you know?”
Boy, do I know.
Some guys cheer outside, and I glance out the window again. Mason’s nowhere to be seen, and I have a sudden gut feeling that I shouldn’t be at this party any longer. “Well, it was nice, um, talking to you,” I say. “I think I’ll try to find Wes and then head home.”
Audrey frowns, looking genuinely disappointed by my decision to leave. She tips her cup toward me. “Are you sure I can’t entice you to stay with one of these amazing vodka sodas?”
Despite the knots in my stomach, I manage a laugh. “I’m sure. Thank you, though. It was nice to see you again.”
“You, too,” she says with a smile. I give a bit of an awkward wave, but as I turn to walk away, she calls my name.
I glance back at her. “Yeah?”
“Things have a way of working out, okay? Maybe don’t give up quite yet.”
I nod and force a smile I don’t feel. “Thanks.”
Weaving through the party in search of Wes, my heart pounds with the knowledge that Mason’s here and I’ve somehow lost track of him. During spring break, I traced every move he made, but now I fumble blindly through the crowd.
Once I’ve searched the downstairs with no luck, I step onto the deck and scan the mass of people. I don’t find Wes, but when I glance down at the yard, I spot Mason Bryce talking to a pretty red-haired girl.
My spine snaps straight. From the outside, their conversation looks normal.
Just a boy and a girl talking in the shadow of the trees.
But when I peer closer, I notice the way he’s positioned to block the girl’s exit and that her posture seems stiff and unnatural.
Her eyes keep darting to the side like she’s looking for an escape route, and I recognize the look.
It’s the same look I had.
The same look Chloe had over spring break.
A sudden, sick feeling twists my stomach, and I give another frantic glance around the deck. Wes is nowhere to be found, and no one else is paying attention to the couple in the backyard, half-hidden by foliage.
It’s not your problem, says that voice in my head, urging me to back away and leave them be. I should focus on my own issues because let’s be real. I have a lot of them. But even though it’s not technically my problem, the urge to protect this girl surges through me, overpowering reason.
Before I can fully think through what I’m about to do, I stride down the stairs and across the lawn in their direction. The girl’s eyes widen as she notices my approach, and Mason glances over his shoulder, following her gaze. His eyes narrow.
I ignore him even though his gaze on my body makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Even though my heart’s pounding so hard, I wouldn’t be surprised if they could hear it.
Taking a deep breath, I will my voice to come out normal. I fight to keep it strong and steady, injecting my tone with confidence I don’t feel. “Hey, sorry to interrupt,” I tell the girl, wishing I knew her name, “but Quinn said she’s looking for you.”
Mason’s lip curls like he sees right through me. “Who’s Quinn?”
I don’t take my eyes off the girl’s. “Our friend,” I lie, clasping my hands behind my back so that he can’t see the way they’re trembling. It’s a fucking miracle I was able to get my words out without a stutter.
The relief in the girl’s eyes is obvious, and I know I made the right decision. She attempts a wobbly smile, taking a step toward me, away from him. “Oh. Yes. Thanks for coming to get me.”
I smile back at her, just as forced, and stumble over my words this time. “N-no problem.”
“Find her later,” Mason demands, but she’s already moving around him, giving her back to his annoyed expression. She twines her arm with mine, wincing as he calls, “Hey, wait a sec!”
We ignore him. We keep walking, arm and arm, until we make it up the stairs, onto the deck, and become absorbed in the crowd of people.
“Thank you,” she says to me, letting go. “Do you know that guy?”
I grimace. “Unfortunately, I do.”
I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t stop myself from glancing over my shoulder at the last second, only to find Mason rooted in place, his face twisted with an expression I can only describe as furious.
His eyes are trained dead on me.
My chest compresses, breathing becoming difficult, and I quickly face forward again. My skin burns, and there are suddenly too many bodies out here. Too many people around me, sucking up oxygen and radiating heat.
I stumble off the deck, back into the kitchen, and head straight for the downstairs bathroom.
It’s occupied, though, with a line down the hall, and I whirl to face the staircase.
I doubt Wes would mind if I used his bathroom to compose myself, especially in an emergency, so I dart up the steps and slip inside his room, finding it empty.
After locking the bathroom door, I brace my hands against the sink, sucking air through my teeth as I stare at my reflection.
Sweat beads across my forehead, and my hair sticks to my neck.
I tug at the collar of my t-shirt, trying to think of anything besides Mason’s eyes on my face, Mason’s breath in my ear, Mason’s hands on my wrists, Mason’s body on top of me—
Wes.
I think of Wes. Wonderful, beautiful Wes. As long as I can find him, I’m safe. As long as I can speak to him, I’ll be okay. I pull my phone out of my pocket with fumbling fingers and open the thread I haven’t used in weeks.
Me: Hey, where are you?
I stare at the message for a minute. Two minutes. Three. He doesn’t answer, and I tuck my phone away again, splashing cold water on my face and the back of my neck. Taking a deep breath, I unlock the door and resign myself to the fact that I’ll have to keep searching.
I don’t get the chance.
The moment I step into Wes’s bedroom, I find myself face to face with Mason.