Chapter 19
Last night, Jessica came over for dinner, with a fruit basket in tow. She was visiting her grandmother, who had been unwell, and had no idea about my mom’s situation. After dinner, she kept me company, and we ended up watching a movie together until her dad came to pick her up.
With no plans for the day and no one to talk to or visit, I thought I'd just indulge in a movie paired with some junk food while waiting for Dad, who mentioned he'd be late and would skip dinner.
After a refreshing shower, I slipped into my pajamas and warm socks, grabbed a blanket and a bag of chips, and cozied up on the living room couch. I ordered a pizza and began scrolling for a movie to watch, but nothing caught my interest—I just wasn't feeling it.
The doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of my pizza, and I still hadn't picked a film. I hurried to the kitchen to grab the cash I had set aside for the delivery, then dashed to the door.
But it wasn't the pizza guy standing there; it was Zane, dressed in dark blue jeans, a black turtleneck, and a leather jacket that seemed a bit too light for the chilly weather.
“No climbing today?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant, even though my heart was a ticking bomb that was about to explode at any second.
“Hey, no need for that. Your dad isn't home,” he replied with a smile.
“Were you expecting someone else?” he added just as the pizza delivery driver pulled up.
We both turned to watch him approach, and the driver eyed Zane suspiciously.
I handed over the cash for my pizza. “So, we're having pizza tonight?” Zane teased.
“We? Who said anything about 'we'? You're leaving. I'm sorry, but I don't have anything to say to you,” I retorted, feeling proud of how indifferent I sounded.
“I have something to say to you. Can I come in?
It's freezing out here,” he said, rubbing his hands together hopefully.
I hesitated, glancing at him. Of course, I wanted to let him in; my curiosity was piqued.
Maybe someday it would get me into trouble.
I stayed just long enough to see if he would ask again, and he did.
I welcomed him inside. Zane moved cautiously, glancing around, and I kept a close watch on him as he headed toward the kitchen.
I slipped past him, placing the pizza on the counter.
I reached for the top shelf, retrieved two plates and some paper towels.
Eating at the kitchen counter felt right.
He took off his jacket, draping it over the chair next to him, and sat down, lifting the pizza box lid.
“Ham and mushrooms? Ugh, that's awful,” he teased.
“What? It's the best topping ever!” I shot back.
“Not for me. I can't stand mushrooms,” he countered.
“Oh, I'm sorry! I had no idea. I could order something else,” I offered, genuinely apologetic.
“Don't worry about it. I'll eat it for you,” he said, glancing at me to gauge my reaction. I felt my cheeks redden. He was willing to eat something he disliked for me. What else would he do for me?
“Can I get you something to drink? I have Coke, juice, or beer,” I offered, trying to make up for my pizza choice.
“A beer sounds good,” Zane replied, maintaining eye contact.
I got up, opened the fridge, and grabbed two beers, hoping it would help ease my nerves.
He raised an eyebrow in amusement and then glanced down at my pajamas, which I had forgotten I was wearing.
Great. Another embarrassing outfit choice.
“What? I didn't intend to go anywhere, and they're comfy,” I defended.
“They're… cute. Are those unicorns?” he teased with a smile.
“No!” I exclaimed, leaning closer, “They're little bears, see?”
I showed him but realized how childish I sounded. He pulled out a key from his pocket and opened both beers. I took a sip for some courage and asked, “You mentioned you had something to say?”
“I do, but let's eat first. I'm starving,” Zane said, taking a bite. I followed suit, but he finished his second slice before I was done with my first, devouring all the mushrooms and leaving the crust behind.
“You're leaving the best part,” I pointed out, gazing at the pile of crust he had left.
“There's nothing on it, just bread,” he argued.
“But it's the crunchiest part!” I insisted.
“Still, it's just bare.”
I decided to drop the subject. No matter what I said, he would keep debating. I was halfway through my beer when I saw him finish his.
“Want another one?” I offered, about to stand.
“No, I'm fine,” he replied, suddenly serious, as if bracing himself for my questions.
I cleared the plates and set them in the sink, planning to wash them later.
I started walking toward the living room, but he didn't follow.
Instead, he rolled up his sleeves and began washing the dishes. I was taken aback.
“What are you doing?” I asked, almost offended.
“Let's not leave a mess for your dad. He might ask questions you would rather not answer,” he replied.
I watched him clean with surprising care and skill.
I found myself captivated by his movements.
As he dried his hands with a towel and approached me, I noticed some bruises on his arms, which he quickly covered with his sleeves.
“How did you get those?” I pressed.
“Not relevant,” he said dismissively.
“So what? You won't tell me anything?” I asked, frustration creeping in.
“I'll tell you what you need to know.”
“And how much is that?” I shot back, feeling angry and desperate to understand him. He didn't answer but moved to the couch, sitting down with a scowl. “Zane, what do you want from me?” I pressed, but he turned away. “Is this another game V made you play?”
“She didn't make me do anything!” he snapped.
“Then why are you here? What do you want?” He stood up, remaining at a distance.
“You,” he said softly. “I want you.”
And just like that, my heart melted. It became lava, burning me from inside. He said what I had longed to hear, but his actions told a different story. At school, he acted like I didn't exist, flaunting his closeness with V. I felt confused about his behavior.
“I don't get it. You say you want me, but what does that mean? You ignore me in front of others and kiss V in secret.”
“Kissing V? What are you talking about?” Zane shouted, clearly angry.
“I saw you two the other day. You looked pretty cozy. I feel like an idiot,” I admitted. He shook his head, as if battling with himself, wanting to say something but holding back. “Zane, I just… I want to understand you, to know you, but you won't let me.”
“I'll tell you everything you wish to know; just ask,” he said, inching closer to me. I sensed his sincerity and knew this was my chance to finally get through to him. I decided to start with the question that had been nagging at me.
“Do you love V?” I watched him closely, bracing myself for his answer.
“Yes, I do… very much.” My heart sank. I would rather not hear any more. I wanted him to leave; this was too much. But then he continued. “I love her because she's my sister.” My mouth dropped open, and I was left speechless. I wanted to laugh at how absurd it sounded.
“Sister? Are you kidding? You're the same age, have different last names, and don't look alike at all!”
“I'm a year older; I have already told you that, and I'm adopted,” Zane explained.
“What?” I needed to sit down; this was more than I expected. I craved honesty, but now I wasn't sure I could handle it. He started to speak, and I listened intently.
“My parents moved here from the North. After years of trying for a child, they decided to adopt and were lucky enough to find me when I was just two months old.
I don't know anything about my biological parents.
A couple of months later, my mom got pregnant with Valentina.
The doctors said it's common, and my parents were thrilled to have two kids after thinking they would never be parents.
But when I was eleven, my mom had an affair and left my dad.
She remarried quickly and moved to London.
V went with her, but I stayed with my dad.
V took her stepfather's last name. Things didn't go as she hoped, and she returned.
I try to stay close to her—that's why I switched schools.”
As he spoke, pieces fell into place.
“But she's so mean,” I blurted out, regretting it as soon as the words left my mouth.
“She has… issues. Some secrets I can't share because I promised her. She wasn't always like this, and I still hope to get my sister back—the one I played hide-and-seek with, the one I danced with. I miss her. But life is tough, and we don't always get what we want.”
I was at a loss for words. I had no siblings and knew nothing about family issues or divorce. My parents’ temporary separation felt trivial compared to what he had endured.
“I really want you to trust me, but I know I need to trust you first. It won't be easy, but I promise it will be worth it,” Zane said, his words resonating deeply within me. I wanted to trust him, and perhaps I already did. Blindly and unconsciously.
“And those bruises on your arms—do they have anything to do with your sister?” I asked, testing the waters to see how much he would reveal.
“No, those are from the gym,” he chuckled.
“Gym? Do you get into fights there?” I asked, surprised.
“Well, you could say that. One day, I'll show you,” he said, moving closer to me once again.
I felt that familiar longing building inside me.
“Can you keep this a secret? No one knows Valentina is my sister, and I'd like to keep it that way.
It's safer for everyone,” he pleaded, his gaze locking onto mine, leaving me no choice but to agree.
I nodded, waiting for him to close the distance between us, but he didn't. “What time will your dad be home?” he asked.
“After dinner. Why? Do you want to leave?” I blurted out.
“Do you want me to leave?” he whispered, his warm breath grazing my face like a gentle caress, a spring flower, a morning breeze, a….
“You can stay a little longer if you let me ask you more questions.”
“I have a better idea,” Zane said, sending a shiver down my spine. My imagination ran wild as I opened my mouth, ready for whatever he had in mind.
“And what's that?” I asked eagerly.
“We still have time for a movie.” He pulled back, heading to the sofa and grabbing the remote. With a teasing pat on the couch, he invited me to join him.
Whatever his reason for this push and pull, it was driving me to the brink of sanity.
He was the one thing I craved above all else, and I was uncertain if I would ever have it.
I fought to mask my surprise, striving to maintain a casual demeanor.
This time, I didn't hesitate. I walked over and sat next to him, feeling his warmth without touching.
I was shaking. Shaking from the need to collide with him. Lava filled my veins, and I could almost see my skin steaming. I fought my instincts, I fought the urge to reach him. Madness. It was madness.
He started a movie I had never seen before. I tried to focus, but it was nearly impossible. Zane didn't move closer; he just stared at the screen, leaving me to wonder what was going on in his mind.
Then the door clicked open, and my dad stepped inside. The look on his face said it all. For the first time in my life, I knew I was going to be grounded, and it wasn't going to be for a short while.