Chapter 36 #2
In an instant, I wanted to shed the layers of clothing that stood between us.
I stepped back, my fingers trembling when I began to unbutton his shirt, and he followed my movements with anticipation.
One, two, three, four, five… His bare torso emerged, and I rose onto my tiptoes to slide the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.
I admired him like a masterpiece, tracing my fingers along his arm, up to his shoulders, then down his chest and abdomen.
A shiver coursed through him, making him flinch.
The urge to kiss his skin was irresistible, so I pressed my lips against his chest, eliciting a silent moan from him as he tilted his head back.
Zane took my waist and gently turned me around, positioning me with my back to him.
He delicately pulled my hair forward and unzipped my dress, which fell to the floor before I even realized it.
I gasped involuntarily as my bra followed suit, leaving me feeling not embarrassed but rather liberated, free from any barriers between us.
He placed his left hand on my upper arm while the other explored my back, studying every imperfection, every birthmark, and every freckle.
His tender touch sent goosebumps racing across my skin.
He then brought that hand to my other arm, slowly turning me to face him again.
His eyes traced every inch of my body, making my mind buzz with desire.
His hand cradled my neck, then slid down to my chest, moving to my belly button and back to cup my breast. My senses overwhelmed me, and I involuntarily moaned, my eyes rolling back as he pressed his body against mine and kissed me, savoring every moment.
A wave of heat surged through me, intensifying the frustration of my unfulfilled desires.
It was a wild, dizzying sensation, overwhelming and consuming, leaving me breathless.
Zane gently guided me to the bed, pulling back the covers.
I sat, and he coaxed me to lie down while he stood tall before me.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small foil packet, tossing it onto the bed as he unbuckled his belt, unzipped his jeans, and removed the rest of his clothes.
My face flushed with heat at the sight of him, igniting a fire within me.
I was unsure of what to expect or how to act, feeling embarrassed, not because of seeing him, but because of my own inexperience. It felt like an exam for which I hadn't prepared, and I wondered how well I could perform.
He leaned over, removing the last piece of clothing I wore, to join the rest on the floor.
The wrapper was empty, and Zane lay on top of me, trembling as if he were the one unprepared for this moment.
He kissed me repeatedly—on my ear, my neck, my collarbone, my breast, and my abdomen, making me chuckle at the ticklish sensation.
Then he drew his head close to mine, locking his gaze onto me as if to distract me from what was about to happen.
He gently parted my legs and positioned himself close enough for me to feel his need pressing against me.
My body tensed, bracing for both the long-awaited pleasure and the anticipated pain.
Yet he remained still, studying my body as if to paralyze me in the moment.
“Are you certain?” Zane murmured softly, his breath warm against my lips.
“It feels like something out of a film. The classic scenario where a guy asks a girl if she's sure, and the answer is always a resounding yes. But what if I say no? What if I'm uncertain?” I replied, seizing the moment to be a bit cheeky.
“Then it would be a film that no one wants to see,” he quipped, a teasing grin spreading across his face.
“Now…” Zane said slowly, “Shhhh… relax for me.” He pressed his lips to mine again, his tone left no room for argument.
Instantly, I obeyed. A wave of calm washed over me; I trusted him completely.
This was what I had longed for, what I had envisioned and dreamed about.
I craved the thrill of the unknown, craved him.
Often, when we yearned for something so intensely, we built lofty expectations, idolizing the unknown as if it were sacred. Yet, more often than not, it fell short of our hopes. But that wasn't the case. At all.
I felt the warm pressure deepen; I couldn't help but roll my eyes back in pleasure, arching my back as my lips parted, my head falling back against the sheets with a soft moan escaping my throat.
I clutched the fabric beneath me, squeezing it tightly as a tear slipped down my cheek—not from pain, but from overwhelming sensation.
Zane moved with care, his gaze focused on my every shift, searching for any hint of discomfort that might prompt him to halt. But I showed none; the words to express my feelings were beyond my vocabulary.
The pain was unbearable, yet at the same time, an exquisite pleasure coursed through me, merging in a way I had never thought possible.
It was a blend of contrasting sensations, much like experiencing both sweetness and saltiness at once, each vying for dominance.
It felt akin to sipping a scalding drink that was laced with ice—burning and soothing all at once.
The sweetness of pleasure dulled the sting of pain, while that very pleasure surrendered to the onslaught of discomfort. My skin felt like it was on fire, yet it was slick with cold sweat. I couldn't have fathomed such an experience; it was beyond anything I had ever thought or imagined.
The overwhelming sensations threatened to push me over the brink of sanity. Yet, the relentless cramps in my abdomen stabbed at me like daggers, causing my face to tighten in an attempt to withstand the agony. Tears streamed down my cheeks, one after another.
“Are you alright?” Zane murmured, breathless.
I nodded, reluctant to admit the extent of my suffering, while the joy I felt overshadowed everything else.
He glanced down, and that's when I felt the heat of embarrassment wash over me; crimson stains smeared his fingers, and he froze, shock evident on his face, his lips slightly parted in a mix of disbelief and irritation.
“I thought… I thought you and Marco…” Zane’s voice trembled.
“We didn't,” I insisted, shaking my head as more tears fell, soaking the sheets beneath us.
“You dummy, why didn't you tell me? I hurt you,” he said, devastation lacing his tone.
“No, you didn't,” I countered immediately. He remained still, burdened by guilt I couldn't quite grasp.
“I could have… I should have been gentler. I'm so sorry,” he said, shaking his head as he leaned against my chest.
“Zane, look at me,” I commanded. He complied.
“I can't fathom how this could be any better than it is. The only reason I'm upset is that you stopped. Please… I beg you, don't hold back. I want you. I want all of you—body and soul, remember?” I pressed my forehead to his, pleading silently.
“I…” he began, but I cut him off.
“Don't give me more pain by holding back what you've already given. Please! I need you more than you know. I care more than you realize. Just grant me this wish—be mine.” I captured his lips in a deep kiss, as if I were trying to take his very last breath.
My wish was fulfilled, and everything intensified—each movement heightening the experience, spiraling upward into something greater. His rhythm was steady, but I craved more, pressing myself against him, matching his every motion.
I couldn't stifle my cries; I moaned again and again.
It was like a rocket soaring higher and higher.
Our bodies melded together, and I envisioned our souls—two swirling forces of energy above us, round and radiant, intertwining and releasing a dazzling light.
Once they collided, they merged into one, spinning faster until they became an even blend, crashing back into us, causing my body to arch and my eyes to shut tightly.
I was breathless, desperate for air, my lips parched.
Emotional waves crashed over me relentlessly, offering no reprieve.
My muscles twitched, pleading for mercy.
I gasped for air, faster and faster, until there was no air left.
It felt like we had consumed all the air in the room.
My body contracted rhythmically. I was drowning in my own emotions.
Zane’s back arched as he released himself, his head thrown back in ecstasy, his body rigid like marble.
Fireworks exploded in my mind as the intensity of those moments left me reeling.
Nothing in my youthful, inexperienced mind could even begin to comprehend the depth of what I had just experienced.
Zane lay by my side, both fighting with our defective lungs. A new, unknown feeling was invading my body and mind. I would never have enough of this; I would never, ever have enough of Zane.
Once we had both caught our breath, Zane stood up and slipped into the bathroom. I could hear the shower turning on, and I understood why—there was far too much of me on him, more than I would have liked. He was quick, though, and soon emerged from the bathroom, wrapping a towel around himself.
He sat down on the bed and took my hand.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.
“It feels like I've been transported to another planet, and I'm not sure if I've returned yet,” I joked, though I knew he was asking about something else entirely.
“Do you need any help?” he inquired gently.
“No, I'm fine, thank you! And I'm sorry for the mess,” I said, attempting to stand. His eyes widened, clearly showing that I had no reason to apologize.
I made my way to the bathroom, naked, casting a quick glance back at the red stains on the sheets that reminded me of my embarrassment. Once inside the shower, I struggled to remain still; the pain and cramps were overwhelming—far worse than my usual period.
I wished things could be different, that we could just snuggle in bed for a while before showering.
But reality was what it was, and I had to deal with it.
My bag, along with my hygiene supplies, was still in the bathroom.
I had been prepared for this, knowing it might happen, but I had completely forgotten to pack something to sleep in.
Stepping out wrapped in a towel, I spotted Zane in his underwear, adjusting the bed.
“What did you do?” I asked, bewildered, noticing the fresh sheets.
“I… I took off the soiled sheet. I checked the closet, but there weren't any new sheets—just towels. I put a towel underneath and covered it with the flat sheet. We can just sleep under the bedspread,” Zane explained as if trying to fix a mistake.
But this was my fault for not communicating better, and I felt embarrassed once again.
“You didn't have to do that. I could have managed,” I replied, feeling flustered.
“I could have ironed the shirt myself too,” he smiled, easing my tension. “Come lie down,” he encouraged, motioning toward the bed.
“I forgot something—I don't have anything to sleep in,” I confessed. Without a moment's pause, he reached into his backpack and pulled out a t-shirt, handing it to me.
“Here, take this.” I gratefully accepted it. Zane then slipped under the covers and opened his arms in a welcoming gesture for me to join him. The persistent pain in my lower abdomen must have shown on my face because he noticed it immediately. “Lie down on your back,” he instructed.
“Why?”
“Trust me,” he replied softly. I complied, resting my head on the pillow as he turned onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow while his other hand began to move in gentle circles on my abdomen.
His touch was soothing; he was my cure. “Is that any better?” he asked quietly.
I took a moment to reply, sensing his gaze on me. “What is it?” he pressed.
“Nothing… it's just that you're so different now. I remember how things were at the beginning of the year…” I trailed off, hesitating.
“About that… I never actually said I was sorry. I was foolish. I lied about Jake and Emily’s video recording because I wanted your attention, and I went about it all wrong.
I pretended to be someone I wasn't, or maybe I just didn't know who I was until I met you,” Zane confessed, still rubbing my abdomen.
“Do you finally understand who you are?” I murmured softly.
“I know who I want to be,” Zane replied, his eyes momentarily drifting into a void. I couldn't help but wonder what secrets he was keeping locked away. There was a nagging feeling that he bore a weight that remained hidden from everyone else—a silent wound that only I could sense.
I wanted to delve into it, but it wasn't the day for heavy conversations. It was a moment for just the two of us. Gradually, my own pain began to fade while we cuddled, sharing kisses and laughter as if the world beyond these walls didn't exist. Eventually, we surrendered to sleep.
“Hey,” a voice broke through the haze, “wake up.” It was Zane. I felt clammy and breathless, struggling to grasp reality.
“What happened?” I mumbled, realizing morning had almost arrived. Zane remained silent; he moved and sat on the edge of the bed, knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them, staring down at the floor.
“I'm sorry.” There was a deep sorrow in his tone.
“Sorry for what?” I pressed, bewildered.
“I'm sorry I hurt you. I…”
“What are you talking about?” My confusion only deepened.
“You said something while you were asleep…” he confessed.
“What did I say?” The silence lingered long enough for my mind to race with possibilities.
“Please, stop, please…”