Chapter 9
E
llie sat in the front row of the sprinter as they rode back to Shy’s house to retrieve their cars.
The night had been ruined. Ellie was numb.
Her heart hurt so much that she felt nothing.
Tessa had cried herself to sleep. As she laid her head in Ellie’s lap, Ellie stroked her hair softly.
If Ellie could carry this pain for her baby, she would, but life didn’t work that way.
Her phone rang, and she scoffed when she saw Loyal’s name pop up on her screen.
She couldn’t even think about a man right now.
In fact, she hated all men just off the strength of Cairo being on the same team.
Bitch-ass nigga, she thought. She regretted coming home.
If she had stayed away from Michigan, like she had planned, her daughter’s heart would still be whole.
Friendsmas is a joke, she thought. There wasn’t a bit of Christmas cheer in sight.
The entire van had been silent. No one spoke and she was sure it was because they didn’t know what to say.
Her life was a spectacle and if these weren’t her closest friends, she would be certain that the gossip would be all in the streets by now.
She was mortified. It was this exact feeling that she had avoided all these years.
She hadn’t wanted witnesses to the unraveling of her marriage, but now her loved ones had front-row seats.
Sloan sat in the back of the van, tucked away in the corner as she rested her head on Cassidy’s shoulder. He lifted his arm, and she leaned into him, exhaling as he rubbed circles into her shoulder.
Her heart was so tender at the thought of Ellie’s situation.
“I got her,” Cassidy whispered in her ear.
She looked at him, trying to make out his features in the dark to no avail.
He lifted a hand to her cheek and caressed the side of her face reassuringly, and Sloan sighed.
She lifted her feet onto the empty seats beside her and laid her head in his lap as he kneaded the tips of his fingers into her scalp.
There was such comfort in his touch, so much gentleness, and caring that she had no choice but to hand her anxiety over to him.
She sighed as she closed her eyes. She was asleep before she knew it.
The hour-long drive passed by in what felt like the blink of an eye, and when Sloan felt Cassidy shift, she was aroused from her rest.
“That’s a wrap, everybody,” Shy said dryly, standing and getting out of the sprinter first. “Court, come on, girl, let’s get you settled.”
“Good night, everybody,” Court said, giving Ellie a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder before she exited the sprinter. One by one they got off and Cassidy picked Tessa up from Ellie’s lap.
“I got her, E,” he said. Ellie nodded and then Sloan grabbed Ellie’s hand and led her off the sprinter.
“Do you two want to stay the night with me tonight?” Sloan asked as they followed Cassidy to Ellie’s car.
Ellie shook her head. “No, I just want to get home. How am I going to explain this shit to my baby, sis? He’s the only father she knows. He is her father, Sloan.”
Sloan nodded her head in support. “He is. All daddy’s ain’t made equal, unfortunately.
Cairo has turned into such a bitch-ass nigga, but your baby has so much love, Ellie.
” Sloan glanced at Cassidy who was placing his niece gently in the backseat.
He grabbed the snow brush from the trunk and began to clear Ellie’s windshield.
“She will be okay eventually and we’re all here for y’all.
Whatever extra support you need. We got you. ”
Ellie swiped away a renegade tear and sniffed away her frail emotions, as she blew hot air into her cold hands.
She couldn’t allow her own feelings to take over because she knew once Tessa awoke, she would have to be strong for her.
Tessa would have questions and Ellie had to be able to answer them without breaking down.
“Thanks, Sloan. I love you. I’m going to head home. ”
Sloan nodded and hugged her friend long and tight. “Okay. Text the group chat when you make it. I love you. If you need anything, call me.”
Ellie walked to her car and hugged Cassidy next before getting inside and driving away.
“Let me get you on your way, too,” Cassidy offered, walking beside her. “You got a scraper?” he asked as she unlocked the doors.
“Yeah, it’s in the back.”
She opened her door and hopped inside as she watched him stomp through the snow as he rounded her car, cleaning off the windows. His nose was red by the time he finished.
“Be careful out here on these roads,” he warned. “None of that lead foot shit. You still drive like you racing everybody on the road?”
“Boy, I drive just fine, thank you very much,” she defended. “You tried to teach me to drive one time. You can’t hold that against me my whole life.”
He chuckled, rubbed his hands together, and blew hot air into them, before stuffing them in his coat pockets.
“I really hate this for Ellie,” Sloan said as she started her truck and turned sideways so that she faced him. “I hate this for Courtney too. Friendsmas isn’t feeling so festive this year.”
What should have been an epic reunion was turning into a week filled with hurtful memories. She couldn’t say it was all bad. As she stood in front of Cassidy, she saw a silver lining, standing right in front of her.
“Yeah, I’ma swing by and check on Tessa in the morning. She’ll need to know she has a man in her life that she can count on. That nigga doing some damage, man,” Cassidy stated. He clenched his jaw tightly, grinding his teeth so hard that his temple pulsed.
“The best thing you can do for them is fill in the gap,” Sloan advised. “He’s still Brooklyn’s dad. There’s only so much straightening you can do to him.”
Cassidy struggled with falling back when it came to this, and she could see it.
“Bye, guys!” Lola shouted as she walked by Sloan’s truck. “Cassidy, I’m headed to this lounge I know. Live music, good food. It’s a vibe. Drinks on me if you’re interested.”
Cassidy’s brow lifted at her boldness. She was on his radar. He hadn’t missed the flirting Lola had engaged in all day. She was young and uncomplicated, and she wanted him to know it. Sloan shook her head and awaited his reply.
“I’m good, man. I’ma call it,” Cassidy said, letting her down gently.
“I swear these young hoes don’t have no home training,” Sloan stated in disbelief.
Cassidy laughed and licked his lips before stuffing his cold hands in his jacket pockets.
“She’s harmless,” he laughed and looked down at his feet.
“Harmless my ass. She’s throwing pussy at you and you eating the shit up. You whole ass blushing right now!” Sloan shot back, rolling her eyes.
“Ain’t nobody thinking about that girl, man,” he denied. “I’m a little preoccupied with somebody else. Can’t figure out how to get around all her walls, though.”
Sloan hadn’t expected him to be so honest. Her stomach hollowed as he stepped closer, occupying the space between her body and the door.
“You’re in my head, Sloan,” he admitted as he placed a hand to the side of her face. He leaned into her and rested his forehead against hers. He didn’t know if she was trembling because she was cold or if she was terrified.
“I can’t,” she whispered as she snapped her eyes closed and pulled back. She was running.
“Why do you do that?” Cassidy asked. “It doesn’t feel good to know you’re afraid to get close to a nigga. I heard you the other day. I did my dirt, but I paid for it too, Sloan. I’m not that kid anymore. I’m not a bad man.”
“I know you’re not,” Sloan sighed.
“Then what is it?” Cassidy asked. Sloan looked off, and she began to fidget as anxiety filled her body.
“It’s nothing,” Sloan insisted. He had the deepest eyes.
She could only imagine what they had seen.
When he stared at her, she felt transparent, like he could see right through her to the center of her soul, where she hid her secrets.
“Please stop looking at me like that. I can’t go there with you.
We don’t match. You don’t check any of my boxes, Cass, and yes, you served your time, but you still took a life, Cassidy.
That’s not a small thing you’re asking me to overlook. ”
Cassidy scoffed and took a step back, nodding his head in frustration as he closed her door.
“Say less, Dr. Martin.” She had offended him, and now he was walking away.
Her head was spinning because she was relieved and horrified by his departure all at the same time.
She hopped out of the car and stormed after him.
“That’s it!?” she yelled.
Cassidy spun on her suddenly. “Fuck you mean is that it? Should there be more?” Cassidy asked, annoyed and face bent in confusion.
This woman was his sister’s best friend.
She was a puzzle he couldn’t quite crack, but damn if he didn’t want to crack that bitch.
He knew she had her reservations. He could see her battling with herself every time they were in the same room.
He was trying to respect her boundaries, but Cassidy wanted Sloan in the most addictive way.
“Could there be more?” she shot back.
“How much truth can you handle?” Cassidy asked.
“That’s all I ever want to hear from you. The minute you lie to me, we no longer communicate,” Sloan said.