28. Alex
“Men really do suck,” Ben shouts, his cheeks a blotchy red.
It is over ninety degrees outside, but he and Alex are three shots in at a bar near Tech Me Out. They’re surrounded by a bunch of dart boards, a pool table with scraggly felt, and framed, signed jerseys hung on wood stained walls. There’s also several college students who have yet to figure out their alcoholic limits, but there’s no better time to do so than on three-dollar Thursday.
As for Alex and Ben, they don’t usually need a reason to come here, but their relationship slumps are as good as any.
Between Valentin and TJ, who expressed it probably wasn’t a good idea for them to pursue anything, Ben is now in the same boat as Alex, albeit not the same row.
She’s been occupying herself with work, and things have been pretty tedious at Tech Me Out.prism too. Since Antonio has been “super busy” with developments on the hotel, Alex gets her debriefings from Gio, but the most interesting thing that’s happened is learning he has a garden.
When he’d first mentioned it, she’d thought he was talking about weed, but pictures show thriving greenery and a pastel palette of flowers. He’d started it with his ex, Jess, who he was apparently with for five years. Alex still feels bad for assuming he shared Antonio’s allergy to long term attachments.
“Can I buy you a drink, sexy?”
Alex spins into a lanky, unkempt stranger. “I’m good, thank you.” She turns back quickly.
He scoffs. “Are you too good to even look at me?”
Oh boy. Alex rolls her eyes, but stays put. “I said no thank you, my guy.”
“What a bitch. Pay for your own shit.”
She exchanges baffled looks with Ben. “Is he threatening me with what will probably be a twenty-five-dollar check? If that?”
Ben laughs. “Remember where we are.” Then he mumbles, “I sure do.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
Alex tilts her head. “Benjamin.”
“I’m just saying…there’s a place where the bill would have been zero dollars.”
“But not zero peace of mind.”
“Right, I forgot you can barely even say his name at the moment.”
“Not true! Antonio, Antonio, Antonio. See? Nothing happened.” But Ben gasps and points behind her, and although Alex knows there’s no one there, she still turns to confirm. “You’re such a jerk.”
“Oh, drink up, beautiful.”
She would, but she doesn’t actually have anything left to drink, so he orders her a mango daiquiri. It’s ridiculously sweet, and she knows Dara would have made one much better.
That makes Alex glad she didn’t go to the club at all today. She may not have seen Antonio physically for a while, but her mind has been torturing her with its annoying six degrees of separation. Sometimes it’s outright, others, not so much.
There was a time the sun had beamed down on the silver metal of the cup holder in her car, and she’d started thinking about the amazing slushie (coincidentally also mango) she’d had, and how the cup was too big to fit in Antonio’s cup holder, and he didn’t want her hands to freeze, so he’d held onto it while they were driving from the movies to go get dinner, and it was chivalrous (also, unnecessary and kind of silly) but the point is that the sun had shone down on his watch the same way and it made her want to see it (him) in person.
So does this daiquiri.
Girl, get it together.
She and Ben ride out their buzz, but the later it gets, the more the median age of the crowd lowers. Most of them are probably looking to get settled before the baseball game starts, which means it’s time for them to go.
“You ready?” Alex asks.
“Yup. Let me go to the bathroom really quick, though.”
“Okay. It’s getting stuffy in here. I’ll be out front.”
Alex grabs a flyer for a past trivia night and fans herself while walking outside. The streets are totally empty aside from an occasional car or two. Her swatting uses more energy to cool herself than actually doing so, but she gets chills all over for a different reason.
Suddenly, footsteps rush her from behind, and panic saturates her body, fusing her legs to the ground.
A moment too late, Alex finally regains mobility, only to have her scream muffled into the hand of an unknown individual. She claws at a forearm while being dragged rashly into the alley next to the bar. Her assailant pushes her against the bricks, causing a yelp to escape under the scaly hand and her glasses to fall.
“Why would you even come to a place like this if you were gonna act all high-and-mighty? You think you’re better than me?” The man she rejected earlier sneers.
Alex squirms and clasps his thumb between her teeth. He recoils briefly before taking both of her wrists and immobilizing them above her head. One hand reaches in his pocket to slip out a shiny, silvery blade. Alex’s eyes clamp shut as she feels the cold metal crawl down her face.
“What do you want from me?” Her voice rattles in her throat as she finds the courage to reopen her eyes.
“An apology. Obviously.” The punk’s beady slits stare straight through Alex as he smiles menacingly.
She hyperventilates as the knife makes its way underneath her tank top. She looks skyward, feeling the fabric tug against her before ripping apart and falling to her sides.
“Turn around,” the man barks, but she remains bound to the wall. “Turn the fuck around!”
Alex whimpers, rotating her body slowly. For a split second, she feels his grip loosen on her wrists, and seizes the opportunity to jerk her hands down and duck away from him. Still, all it takes is a quick stretch of his leg to trip her, and she wails as her hip slams on the concrete. Filth clusters under her fingernails as she tries to claw away, but he pulls Alex by her calf and traps her underneath his body.
He clamps his fingers around her throat, and Alex feels like she’s seventeen years old.
Not again. Not again.
She can’t focus on how long she struggles. She can’t pay attention to the nicks that mar her arms and chest until she successfully knocks the blade from his hand. Alex can only concentrate on preventing her attacker from getting his “apology”. She lifts her hips into a bridge, wraps her arms around him, and manages to flip him off, the force sending him into the brick wall behind him.
So he can’t follow her, and also because he deserves it and so much more, Alex awards him with all the gravity she can transfer from her foot to his crotch. Twice, for good measure.
“Fuck!” he yips.
“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” Alex’s breaths are dizzying, but she does her best to make a coherent call to 911, and then Ben.
As the adrenaline wears off, Alex feels like she’s underwater. Things are happening rapidly around her, she’s sure, but she moves in slow motion—or in effect, she doesn’t move at all. Someone holds her hand and guides her from the alley, and she sees flashing lights, she hears an inquisitive horde, and she feels the sting of her wounds.
“Alex. Alex!”
Ben’s voice sharpens, and Alex hurls herself into his chest, nearly falling off the stretcher in the ambulance where she somehow ended up.
“I—” Ben drapes his arms around the tops of Alex’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “Stupid fucking universe just keeps picking on you.” His tears lose their warmth as they run down the side of her face.
“Hey,” Alex croaks. “I’m alright. I’m alright. He didn’t get away, did he?”
“No, they’ve got him in cuffs already. I think the police want to ask you a few questions, but I can tell them to fuck off and just take you straight home.”
She strokes the old-paintbrush-like tails of French braids going down her chest. “No, it’s OK. I’d rather get it all over with now.”
“Okay.”
Alex does her best to answer as thoroughly as possible, hoping that the more cooperative she is, the faster things will go, and the less follow-up will be necessary. Everything seems to have happened in a blur, so by the time she gets to Ben’s car, she’s exhausted, but also jittery.
She closes her eyes and sees that drink in her hand, bigger than her head.
The gorgeous birds resting on the balcony.
Pure sand, crystal-clear water…
And now, stormy eyes.
“Rise and shine, beautiful.”
Alex blinks awake and stretches out, then rubs her face, now tight and puffy. She yawns and worms out of the car before walking to the building entrance. “I can’t believe I fell asleep. I thought I was too wired.”
“I’m sure you needed it. Just like you need a vacation.”
“Va-ca-tion. Hm. Is that Spanish?”
“This isn’t the time for jokes,” Ben says, a mixture of pity and scolding in his tone. “We need to get you out of here. You’ve had a cabin picked out to see that aurora thing for how long, now?”
Way too long. Alex bumps into the door portal of the elevator while pulling out her keys. “You know it’s not like I haven’t wanted to get away from it all or whatever. But after James, I focused on school, then work, and not getting myself killed by Ivan. I was working on getting healthy.”
“Enjoying yourself is part of being healthy, too.”
“True. You could give Ki a run for her money if you wanted to, you know?”
“What money? You don’t pay either of us for our guidance.” Ben winks.
Once they get into her condo, he beckons Alex to the couch before wrapping his arms around her, gently. “In all seriousness, though, my advice is limited and biased. You’re my best friend, and I love you, so I always want to see you thrive. I don’t care about being that nice to other people. You, on the other hand, seem to pull out the best in anyone.”
“If that were true, I’d be up under Antonio right now instead of you. No offense. You know you’re a top-notch cuddler, but…” Alex laughs softly and clicks her tongue.
“None taken. He’ll come around.”
“Hold on.” She puts her chin on Ben’s shoulder. “Now you’re team-Antonio?”
“I’m team-Chalex-being-happy.”
“Daaamn. You haven’t called me that in years.” Alex cracks a smile.
Ben has a phone book’s worth of nicknames for her, each one having its own sentiment. “Chalex” is one of the earliest. For the first few years after discovering her biological name, particularly during her college years, Alex couldn’t figure out whether to introduce herself as Charlie or Alex. She’d say “I’m Ch-Al”, or more often, “Al-Ch”, but “Alchar” doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. Ben called her Chalex and said she didn’t have to choose until she was ready.
“I know.” He looks to the ceiling and waves his hands apart. “Chalex. You and Antonio should name your baby that. I won’t charge you.”
“And you could never, because there is no way I’d give that name to any child.”
“No? Chalex Benjamin Moretti doesn’t have a ring to it?”
“I’d sooner pick a name like Hayleigh. L-e-i-g-h. God, there were so many of them in school. Do you remember Mazeleigh?! ”
“Yup. And Bayleigh.”
“There was definitely a Kayleigh.”
“Was there a Tayleigh? I feel like there was.”
“Ugh. We should stop! Stop. Ow.” Alex wheezes. “Seriously though, Chalex sounds like a drug you hear about when you’re home sick during the day and you’re watching TV. Chalex may cause side effects such as diarrhea, blindness, loss of smell, or death. Ask your doctor if Chalex is right for you.”
Ben slaps the couch cushion. “Oh shit, you got the voice down, too!”
After their laughter dies down, Alex lets out a contented sigh.
“I love you, Mami. I’m so glad you’re OK,” Ben whispers.
“I love you more. Thank you for always being there for me.”
“Same. Good thing too, ‘cuz making friends like that at this age? Yikes.” Ben stands up and takes two mugs from the upper kitchen cabinets, and Alex knows exactly what’s coming next.
She puts on the latest episode of Insecure while waiting for him to work his magic.