Chapter 11
Present day
Lauren wasn’t in a social mood, but she’d simply had to get away from the resort. She watched an ember from the bonfire drift
upward until it burned out against the black canvas of the night sky. She dug her toes into the sand as she scanned the row
of residential homes lining the unfamiliar north shore of Loon Lake. Some of their windows were lit from within, but many
of the homes must’ve been closed up on Labor Day weekend.
Another reminder that she’d missed the entire summer.
Her gaze drifted across the yard to Carson’s house—or rather his aunt’s, where he was apparently living while he completed
his internship. The sound of laughter carried from the shoreline where Meg and some of the others from her friend group dared
to wade into the cool water, clothes and all.
It was Lauren’s first outing since the accident. It had been a week ago now and her headache had finally subsided. The fog
had cleared, or most of it anyway. Her focus wasn’t great when it came to numbers or figuring out complicated schedules. But
she was back to work.
Meg had said something about the fall inventory, which apparently consisted of accounting for every fork and spatula in each
cabin. Lauren would attempt that task next week.
She checked the time. Sydney’s brother was married by now. Her friend would head back to the city tomorrow. She’d checked on Lauren every day this week, but Lauren hadn’t wanted to usurp her time with her family.
Carson headed her way across the sand, barefoot and smiling. The golden glow of a fire had never danced on such a handsome
face. Tonight he wore a white button-down and a pair of khaki shorts on his lean frame. The sight of him made her pulse race.
That Carina was one lucky girl.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asked as he neared.
“No thanks.” She held up her Diet Coke, then took a sip.
He sank onto the other end of the log. “How have you been feeling? Meg said you’ve returned to work.”
“Nothing too strenuous, and I’m feeling much better, thanks.”
“That’s good. Just take it easy. You don’t want to rush it.”
“Believe me, they’re not about to let that happen.” Jonah was like Big Brother, popping up every time she tried to so much
as pluck a weed.
She watched the others at the shoreline: Meg, Tori and Lori—fraternal twins—and Sam, a guy who appeared to be a few years
younger than the rest of them. They all attended church together, apparently. Lauren and Jonah had been included in the outings
throughout the summer. But she remembered none of it, of course. She’d only agreed to come tonight because Jonah had other
plans.
“How’s the memory coming along?” Carson asked as if reading her mind. “Anything coming back to you yet?”
She shrugged. “Not a thing.” She hadn’t exactly done anything to encourage the resurfacing of those memories. Hadn’t looked
at the photos on her phone or read the old texts.
“Well, give it a little time. The brain’s an amazing organ. Just because you can’t access them at the moment doesn’t mean
they aren’t still in there.”
The thought was meant to comfort but instead felt like an impending threat. Like they could appear any moment and ruin her
future.
“I could put you in touch with a cognitive therapist if you’d like. Sometimes that helps.”
“I’ll let you know. Thank you. It’s very sweet of you to offer.” She decided to change the subject. “I was hoping to meet
Carina tonight—or maybe I already have.” She snorted. “I can’t tell you how weird it feels not to remember my life.”
“I can only imagine. No, you actually never met Carina—and I guess you’re not likely to now. We broke up in June.”
The information barreled through her mind like a train, destination unknown. She took in his wan expression and felt a prick
of empathy. “I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged. “It happens.”
“How long were you together? Sorry if you already told me this.”
“It’s okay. We dated almost three years.”
“You took this internship because you didn’t want to be too far away.” She remembered that from their first conversation when
he’d rescued her on the side of the road.
He gave a wry grin. “Joke’s on me, I guess. But no, she met some guy at school and that was that.”
“That’s the worst.” Or she supposed it must’ve been. She’d never been in love before. Well, not that she remembered.
“It hasn’t been fun. But it’s been a few months now. And my work keeps me busy.”
She studied his face. “Does that help?”
He met her gaze, then broke out into laughter. “No.”
She smiled at his honesty. Wished she could think of something helpful to say. She’d had plenty of disappointments in her
life, but romantic heartbreak was foreign to her. And truthfully, selfishly, she was a little glad to find Carson suddenly
available. But she could hardly admit that.
Meg wandered over just then and rescued her from having to think of an appropriate response.
Lauren counted the mugs in the Hickory Cabin and wrote the number on the checklist. Eight. Two were missing. She moved on to the dinner plates. This kind of work, simple though it was, now took her full concentration. This was her fifth day doing inventory and she was only now on the last cabin. Of course she’d had other tasks requiring her attention—preferred tasks. She dreaded returning to this counting and math and spreadsheets. Jonah had offered to help, but he’d no doubt insist on working side by side, and that would make the chore even harder.
Because avoiding Jonah had become job numero uno .
He made her uncomfortable with his steady gazes and concerned looks. He was so different from the Jonah she remembered. It
wigged her out and she didn’t know how to respond.
A text message vibrated her phone. Seeing it was from Sydney, she finished accounting for the plates and took a short break.
Her friend had practically begged to come see her after her brother’s wedding last weekend, but Lauren put her off. As nice
as it might be to have her friend nearby, Sydney was hoping to be promoted to manager at the restaurant where she worked.
And taking off abruptly right after a week’s vacation wouldn’t help her cause.
How’s it going? her friend had asked.
Fine, I guess. Doing inventory on the kitchen supplies at the moment . So thanks for saving me from that.
What are friends for? Still foggy?
Math has never been my friend.
How’s everything else?
She hadn’t really opened up to Sydney about everything. Hadn’t opened up to anyone. Maybe it was time to unload.
Everything feels so weird. Jonah keeps coming around, staring at me with these hope-filled eyes. I feel so much pressure to remember. Like everyone’s just looking at me wondering, Do you remember anything yet? No, I don’t! And you know what? I don’t even think I want to.
Oh, honey. I’m sorry. That’s gotta be tough.
The Lauren everyone expects me to be—I don’t even know who she is. She fell for someone I don’t even like. I can’t help but hope she’s
gone for good. I feel like a stranger in my own life.
Maybe you should come home, Lauren. Escape the pressure. Maybe you’ll feel more like yourself.
Tempting.
You can stay with me till your job starts in January. I’m sure your new boss will understand.
But Lauren had committed through the end of the year. She couldn’t risk losing the job at Glitter. She had to finish well
here. She wasn’t a quitter. And maybe Olivia would understand if she explained about the brain injury, but she didn’t want
to give the woman cause to worry about her mental health—she’d asked Tammy not to mention it to her friend. It didn’t sound
as if they kept in close contact anyway.
That’s sweet of you, but I only have a few more months here. The family has been so nice to me, I’d hate to desert them. There
are good things too. They’ve made a lot of the changes I’ve suggested. Meg says they’re very happy with the increase in revenue,
and she’s been a good friend through this.
I had no doubt you’d do a great job. But just know my door is open if you change your mind about coming home or about me coming
there.
Thanks. It helps knowing that.
She thought about this morning when Jonah had asked if she wanted to see the barn she’d apparently begun renovating. “You
were really excited about turning it into a venue,” he’d said. “We got it cleaned out and tore away all the scrub brush from
the exterior. I thought you might like to see it.”
He was obviously eager to spend time alone together. And maybe he hoped her seeing it would spark a memory. She wasn’t interested in either. She told him she wanted to finish inventory today. The disappointment that spread across his face made her heart squeeze a little.
She stared down at the cursor in the text box. Then she began writing. Did I talk to you about Jonah? What did I see in him? Before she could second-guess herself, she sent the message. Then wished she hadn’t asked. Because she didn’t want to have
feelings for Jonah.
Once you got to know him you thought he was sweet. You said he made you laugh.
That just didn’t compute with what she remembered of him. It doesn’t seem possible.
I was a firsthand witness. I’ve never seen you like that before.
Like what?
So happy. Unguarded. You don’t drop your guard for just anyone. I was skeptical at first, but after seeing you together those
few days, I could tell it was the real thing.
It doesn’t feel anywhere close to real.
Trust me, it was. I was jealous! Here I am on every dating site in existence, going out on multiple dates a week, and I can’t even find a guy worthy of a
second date. And you happen upon some prince in backwoods New Hampshire.
But where was it all going? We were presumably in love, but my life is in Boston and his is here.
You were mulling all that over the last time we spoke in mid-August. I don’t think you and Jonah had talked it through yet.
But you thought he might expect you to change your plans, and you admitted that you were actually considering it.
This is such a mess.
Hey, it’s gonna work out. Hang in there.
Thanks for chatting. I should get back to the spreadsheets.
Don’t overdo it!
Yes, Mommy.