Chapter 16
All morning Lauren kept glancing at her watch. She had only two guests to check out. She’d brought the barn binder she’d found
in her closet but hadn’t found time to review it between tasks.
Meg and Tammy were working in the office and Tom, on Tammy’s order, had gone fishing. The three women ate lunch together,
chatting about the resort, Tom and Tammy’s upcoming travel plans, and town gossip. They carefully avoided the topic of Lauren
and Jonah.
Had they approved of her relationship with Jonah? They seemed to like her well enough, but people sometimes hid their true
feelings. Maybe Tammy didn’t think Lauren was good enough for him. She wouldn’t be the first mother to disapprove of her son’s
girlfriend.
After all, Lauren was leaving at the end of the year. Surely she’d been concerned about the possibility of losing Jonah. Since
Tom had all but retired, it would put the future of the resort in jeopardy. But then, Sydney had mentioned Lauren was reconsidering
her return to Boston. Maybe they were aware of that.
After lunch Lauren pulled out the binder and scanned her drawings. She was no artist, that was for sure. But she got a vague idea of what she’d envisioned for the final product. Of course, without seeing the barn in its current condition, it was hard to know how much effort would be involved. She had made pages of notes, but many of them were half thoughts, sometimes just a word or two. Even so, she was getting excited about the project—it would be a welcome diversion from her troublesome memory issues. She hoped Jonah could shed some light on her previous intentions.
He arrived five minutes early in jeans and a black tee that did nice things for his form. He wasn’t a bulky guy, but he had
broad shoulders that tapered down to a trim waist. His arms were muscular—whether from his work at the resort or time in a
gym, she had no idea.
His face lit up when he caught sight of her behind the counter. “Hey. You ready to go?”
“Hi. Yeah.” She slapped the binder shut. “I was just glancing over my notes.”
He held the door for her, then followed her down the steps, awkwardness trailing them like an unwelcome shadow. Why could
she text him without feeling weird but being with him felt so uncomfortable? He’d apologized for his behavior—which was now
months past. She would just have to get over it.
They treaded across the pine needle carpet, passing the cabins. One of the cleaners was shaking out a rug on Hickory’s deck.
Lauren lifted a hand. “Hey, Pam.”
“How’s it going?” Jonah asked.
Pam beamed. “Hey, you two. Beautiful day. It’s so nice to see you two together again.”
Lauren’s face warmed. “We’re just headed out to the barn. Everything okay with the cabins?”
“Good as gold. We’ll be out of here by two.”
“Perfect.”
Jonah gave another wave. “Have a great afternoon.”
If the comment had embarrassed him, he showed no signs.
A few minutes later when they entered the forest’s shade on the far side of Lauren’s cabin, Jonah broke the silence. “How many cabins are full this weekend?”
“Just three.”
He nodded. “It’ll get busier as we head toward peak foliage, but not like the summer was.” He cut her a chagrined look. “Sorry.
I keep forgetting you don’t remember the summer.”
“I keep forgetting I even had a summer.”
He chuckled at her wry tone. “This whole thing really sucks, doesn’t it? I’m sorry it happened to you.”
“Thanks,” she said distractedly as the memory of him on the basketball court slammed into her heart. He was suffering much
more than she was. How kind of him to consider her feelings when he was the one who was grief-stricken. Heaven knew she’d
hardly given his feelings a second thought since the accident.
They came into the clearing and there it stood. The big barn was rustic red and in need of a good paint job. But the stone
on the bottom was charming, and the structure appeared sound. At least it wasn’t falling apart.
“What do you think?”
“It’s got a lot of promise.”
His eyes warmed about ten degrees. “How did I know you’d say that? When you first stumbled upon it, it was overgrown with
brambles. Took us a week to clear it all. The inside was full of junk that had accumulated over the years.”
She wished she remembered that part. How fun to rummage through someone’s old things. “Anything old and interesting?”
“You were disappointed to find it truly was just a bunch of junk. Wooden crates, ancient cans of paints and supplies, mechanical
parts of machines that probably don’t exist anymore. Most of it went to the trash heap.”
He unfastened the barn door and it gave a loud creak as he rolled it open. “The plan was to seal the boards, paint the exterior, repair the rock mortar, replace the windows, and reshingle the roof before snow comes.”
“Then spend the colder months on the interior.”
“Exactly.”
She stepped into the barn and stopped. Sunlight seeped through cracks in the siding and through the windowpanes, giving the
interior an ethereal glow. The building was spacious, and beyond the thick overhead beams, it opened up to a lofty ceiling.
She’d been right in her notes—the space would easily seat a hundred people. She’d catered similar-sized venues for Elite.
An old hayloft jutted out on one side of the building, about a quarter of the barn’s length.
In her mind’s eye, she could see the space finished. Add new wood plank flooring, some fairy lights, and a swath of white
tulle draped overhead, and this place would be beautiful. “It’ll make an amazing wedding venue.”
“That’s what you said before. You’d already picked out the flooring, and you’d gotten bids on the exterior work.”
“I saw them in the binder.”
“Mom and Dad already approved them, so you can schedule the work whenever you want.”
“Sooner than later if we’re gonna beat the weather.”
When he didn’t respond, she glanced back where he’d stopped just shy of the loft’s shadow. He was seemingly lost in thought,
his brows drawn, his eyes downcast.
“What’s wrong?”
He blinked up as if just remembering she was there. “Nothing. I just—I haven’t been back here since...”
The accident. She’d been so swept up in her plans for the renovation that she’d nearly forgotten this was where it had happened.
Her gaze returned to the spot at which he’d been staring. “Is that—is that where I fell?”
“Yeah.” He gave her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to go there. It’s probably the last thing you
want to think about.”
She’d wondered about the incident, but everyone avoided talking about it. And she’d avoided the topic too. But now curiosity
got the best of her. “Can you tell me what happened exactly?”
He stared up at the loft and was quiet for a long moment. “We were up there. I was showing you the balcony I’d just cleaned
out.” A wistful look fell over his face. “You were so excited about how spacious it was. You said we could seat six extra
tables up there. You wanted to hang a chandelier and you mentioned the railings we’d need to add. You were excited about the
vantage point it would give a photographer. You were practically beaming.”
His gaze fixed on the balcony as his eyes glazed over, obviously reliving the moment. “We had a date scheduled that night
and you wanted to go get ready. We were going to The Landing.” His expression turned sad a beat before his eyes filled with
tears.
He pulled his eyes away. Scratched his neck as he tossed her a humorless smile. “Unfortunately, I decided the balcony window
needed cleaning right that minute. So I stayed in the loft while you headed down the ladder. I didn’t see what happened. But
you fell somehow, bringing the ladder down with you.” His eyes closed for a long second. “When I looked down you were...
sprawled on the floor, unconscious.” His face went pale. His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I thought—”
She envisioned the horrific sight and a shiver passed down her arms.
“I don’t even remember getting down from the loft or calling 911. I checked your pulse and—”
Lauren’s gaze dropped to his neck, where his pulse fluttered visibly and quickly.
“It took forever for help to arrive. Graham was there. He kept whining. He lay down beside you and licked your hand. Then he got up and circled. They told me not to move you, so I just lay there with my fingers on your pulse, begging God to...” A sheen of sweat broke out on his upper lip. He ran his palms down the sides of his jeans. “I kept thinking, if only I hadn’t stayed to clean that stupid window. If only I’d gone down the ladder first and held it for you.”
She hadn’t known he was plagued with guilt. She set her hand on his arm. “Hey. It’s not your fault, Jonah. It was an accident,
that’s all.”
“I’ve replayed that moment a thousand times, both awake and asleep.”
“You dream about it?”
“More like a nightmare,” he said with a wry tone. His arm flexed beneath her fingers.
She drew her hand away.
He gave his head a shake, dislodging the haunted look from his face. “Anyway. That’s what happened. When the ambulance got
here, they took you away on a gurney and I rode along. You didn’t wake until later when they were wheeling you out of the
CT scan.”
“I don’t remember any of that.”
“You didn’t know what had happened, why you were at the hospital. I told you. Then you asked again a few minutes later. Scared
me to death.”
“The first thing I remember is Carson coming into the room.”
Jonah pressed his lips in a tight line. “Right. He came in and checked on you.”
“I was confused about why you were there.”
He tore his gaze away. “I could tell something was wrong. You seemed different—guarded. You didn’t remember Graham or the
barn, but I didn’t put it together at first. Thought you were just confused.”
“I remember the panic attack.”
He cupped his neck. “Yeah. That was about the time I realized my presence was doing more harm than good.”
It must’ve been so hard for him. If he loved her—which he clearly did—leaving her would’ve been the last thing he’d have wanted to do. But he did it anyway. And stayed away for the remainder of her hospital stay.
No, wait, he’d stayed in the lobby, slept in the chair. She’d forgotten about that. She pictured him huddled in a hard chair,
trying to sleep while the woman he loved was just down the hall, having forgotten all about him.
Sympathy compressed her chest. “I’m sorry for what you went through. For what you’re going through now.”
His lips lifted in a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’ve already been through this. Not your fault.”
“No, but it’s not yours either.”
He released a heavy sigh. “I guess it isn’t. But it’s our reality now, like it or not. We’ll get through it.”
No doubt they’d do just that. But she couldn’t help but ache for the relationship she didn’t remember.
And as they turned the conversation back to the barn’s renovation, the ache remained, strong and unrelenting. And if she hurt
for something she didn’t even remember, she couldn’t help but wonder—what kind of misery was Jonah enduring?
***
Jonah handed his menu to the server and settled back in the booth. His family often ate out after church on Sundays. But Meg
had made plans with her friends today, leaving Jonah alone with his parents. The buzz of chatter filled the Village Café and
the scent of grilled burgers made his mouth water.
Mom’s gaze sharpened on Jonah as she leaned onto her elbows. “How are you doing, honey? It’s hard to believe it’s been three
weeks since the accident.”
As if he needed the reminder. “I’m fine, Mom. Really. I mean, it’s not ideal, obviously, but I’m still hopeful.”
“Is she doing anything to help jog her memory?” Dad asked. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
Jonah winced. He didn’t want to admit to his parents that she didn’t want her memory back at all. He didn’t even want to admit
it to himself. “Just keep the prayers coming. That’s the biggest thing you can do.”
“Of course, honey.” Mom glanced at Dad, then back to Jonah. “Lauren seems to be excited about the barn renovation.”
“She is.” Something was up. The two of them were trading glances like undercover cops.
“It’s just—your dad and I, well, we were wondering if you’re sure you should go ahead with it, that’s all.”
“With the barn renovation?”
“Right,” Dad said.
Where was this coming from? “That’s been the plan all along, hasn’t it? We approved it months ago.”
“I realize that.” Mom fiddled with her napkin. “But things have changed since then.”
“Not really. We weren’t even a couple when Lauren originally presented the idea. We decided the plan made financial sense
for the resort. There are the initial costs, of course, but the venue will earn back that money pretty quickly. It’s a good
investment.”
Dad gave him a pained look. “It’s not the finances we’re concerned about.”
Jonah didn’t like where this was going. The barn was the one thing Lauren was excited about—minus the dream job she didn’t
realize she’d given up. “What then?”
“Honey, we’re all hoping Lauren’s memory will return and we can all go on with our lives as before. But there’s a chance that might not happen. And if it doesn’t... Lauren will return to Boston at the end of the year, and we’ll be left to deal with that venue.”
“ I’ll be left to deal with it. Come January first, it’ll be my problem, right?”
“Well, that’s just it, honey. We don’t want you to be left with a problem on top of all this heartache.”
He pressed his lips together. “Earlier this summer you said it was up to me.”
“And we’re not going back on that.”
“So this isn’t about you thinking I don’t belong at the resort.”
Mom grabbed his hand. “Honey, we never thought that! Of course you belong.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Or maybe he had. But he couldn’t own up to his real feelings. His parents had been nothing but
good to him. Had given him a far better life than he would’ve had without them. If his mom was disappointed that their family
business would pass to him and not their biological child, well, he couldn’t really blame her. But it was hurtful nonetheless.
His parents stared at him, waiting for him to finish his thought. “I just meant that you seem to think I might be more fulfilled
doing something else.”
“We just want to make sure you aren’t pursuing the management out of a sense of responsibility or expectation. You’re so smart,
Jonah. So capable. There are many other things you could do if you wanted.”
“You insisted I get a degree, and come December I’ll have one. But I haven’t changed my mind about running the resort.”
“That’s not where we were going with this,” Dad said.
Jonah stuffed down a flicker of anger. “Then where were you going exactly?”
Mom shifted in her seat, then turned her big brown eyes on him. “If things don’t go the way we want with Lauren, we just don’t
want you to be left with a venue you’re not interested in running.”
“And renovation debt that requires you to do so.”
“She’ll be long gone and you’ll have that reminder, that’s all. We wonder if we shouldn’t call it quits before we start investing
money in this. Or at least put it off until we see if Lauren’s memory returns.”
“It’s only been three weeks.”
“We know that.”
“Regardless of if she stays or not, the venue makes financial sense. I want to do it.” He wasn’t sure if he could tease out
his own desire for the venue from Lauren’s passion for the project. But he wouldn’t take away the one thing that excited her
about being here. “Is it still my decision?”
Mom and Dad traded a look.
“Of course,” Mom said. “It’s your call.”
“Then we’ll move forward with the renovation.”