20. Francisca
CHAPTER 20
Francisca
I listen to my cell ring in my purse, unable to answer it with both of my hands weighted down with shopping bags as I make my way down the sidewalk to my apartment. By some miracle, I manage to get my key in the lock and the door open without setting anything down and kick it shut behind me.
Avoiding PJ jumping around at my feet, I make my way quickly to the kitchen and sigh in relief as I drop everything on the counter. I wasn’t planning on stopping anywhere after my doctor’s appointment, but then I remembered that neither Dayton nor I had much to choose from in terms of breakfast options this morning. Even the basics, like coffee and creamer, were running low, so I decided to make a quick stop at the grocery store. And since I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and was starving as I pushed my shopping cart around the store, I ended up buying a whole bunch of snack foods on top of the stuff we actually needed.
After giving PJ the attention he’s hopping around at my feet for, I take a pack of cookies out of one of the bags, opening it up but leaving everything else on the counter since I’ll take it upstairs with me when I go up to Dayton’s later. I shove one of the cookies in my mouth, then take out my phone and roll my eyes when I see the missed call is from Matthew. I don’t want to call him back, but a few days ago, he told me that he was closing on his loan and that he would have my money for me soon.
“Francisca.” He answers before the phone even has a chance to ring on my end. “I was just going to send you a text.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, how’s your dad?”
“He’s good, getting better by the day.” I take the pack of cookies with me and wander to one of the chairs at the table.
“That’s good news. I’ve been meaning to check on him, but works been busy.” I roll my eyes at the lie, during the time that my father was in the hospital and in the time since he’s called and text more than once, not to check on my dad but to see if I wanted to go out and get a drink or have dinner.
“I’m sure you have a lot more responsibility now.”
“I do; it’s been an adjustment.” At this point, my eyes are going to be stuck in the back of my head if I keep rolling them.
“So, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I wanted to let you know that I have the money for the condo.”
“That’s great news.” My shoulders sag in relief. “Do you want me to send over my bank information so you can wire it to me?”
“I actually had the bank print me out a check, and I can meet you tonight and give it to you if that works.”
“I… What time? I have plans this evening.”
“You can meet me downstairs at my office. I’ll be here for a few more hours, so I can come out and meet you whenever you arrive.”
Darn, I don’t really want to meet him, but I don’t feel like I have a choice. “Alright, I’ll be there, let me get PJ, and I’ll be on my way.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.” He hangs up after saying goodbye, and I glance at the time on my cell, finding that it’s almost five. I know that Dayton said he had a meeting at five, and when we were at the doctor’s, he told me that Clay made a reservation for him and Willow for six thirty and that they would be leaving around six fifteen since the restaurant is just around the corner. If I leave now, I should be back in forty-five minutes or less, depending on traffic.
Shoving another cookie into my mouth I get up and attach PJ’s leash then grab my purse from the kitchen where I left it. As I’m walking to the door, I remember that there is a shipping store where I’m going, and I have a couple of packages I need to mail. One of them being the paperwork to change my last name back to my maiden name.
Grabbing everything I need along with a sharpie marker I head to the door once more and the moment I swing it open I find Dayton standing on the opposite side with his hand up ready to knock.
“Hey.” I smile. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a meeting.”
“I did, but Billy rescheduled it for tomorrow morning.” He starts to step into my space, then realizes my hands are full and frowns. “Are you leaving?”
“Yeah, I’m going to pick up my check for the condo from Matthew and dropping these off since there is a mailing place right next door.”
“He got the loan?”
“He did. He called just a few minutes ago and let me know I could come pick up the check from him.”
“Where are you meeting him?” He asks while bending to give PJ some attention.
“At his office, he’s meeting me downstairs.” I lean up on my toes to touch my mouth to his when he comes out of his bend. “I should be back here in forty-five minutes.”
“I’ll come with you.” My insides twist with anxiety. It’s not that I don’t want him to come; I would actually love it if he did, but his patience with Matthew at this point is nonexistent. Dealing with Matthew, I never quite know what I’m going to get, and I don’t want this meeting ruining our whole evening.
“That’s okay, I won’t be long.” I step outside, and he takes the stuff I’m holding.
“Franny.”
“I seriously won’t be long.” I walk down the sidewalk towards my car with him at my side and PJ running ahead of us. Hitting the button for my trunk it pops open, and he places the boxes inside while I get PJ into the back.
With the sharpie in my mouth, I hook PJ’s leash into his seat, then step back to slam the door, bumping into a solid wall. Turning, I look up at Dayton, and he takes the marker from between my lips.
“You don’t want me to go with you?”
“It’s not that. I just want this done without any drama, big guy.”
“Right.” He mutters, looking unhappy.
“I’ll be back before you know it.” I lean up and kiss him, then scoot under his arm, open my door, and fall into my seat.
Looking down at me his eyes drag from my cleavage to the top of my thighs. Earlier at my doctor’s appointment he made a comment about loving the mid-thigh babydoll dress with a tight bodice and flowy skirt I wore today, but I get the feeling that he doesn’t like it very much anymore.
Squatting down inside my open door he bites down on the lid of the sharpie and pulls out the pen with a pop.
“What are you doing?” I whisper when he slowly lifts the hem of my dress, exposing more of my thighs.
Ignoring my question, he scribbles the word mine in black marker on my upper thigh, it’s small but there in permanent ink and I stare at it in disbelief with my breath caught in the back of my throat. After sliding his thumb over it, like he’s checking that it won’t come off he puts the cap back on the pen and pulls back down the bottom of my dress.
“He’s not going to see that,” I tell him softly.
“No, but you and I will both know it’s there.” He hands me the marker, then wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me forward. I wouldn’t say the kiss is punishing, but it does feel like he’s trying to make a point, and between the mine in permanent marker on my thigh and the kiss he hits the mark. He’s letting me go on my own to see my ex-husband, but I still belong to him. When he lets go and pulls away, it takes a second to get my breath back and my eyes open.
“Message when you get there and then when you are on your way back to me.” His thumb smooths along my jaw as I scrape my teeth over my bottom lip.
“Okay,” I whisper, and he touches his lips to mine once more before he stands and closes my door.
A little under twenty minutes later, I reach Matthew’s office building and dial his number as I drive into the parking garage under it. It rings until it goes to voicemail, so I call back again, and the same thing happens.
“Seriously.” I sigh, pulling into a parking spot
Getting out I grab PJ from the back seat and put him on the ground. I type out a message to Dayton letting him know that I’m at Matthew’s office then I try to call Matthew again, and it once more goes to voice mail.
Grabbing the stuff from the trunk I carry everything with me to the exit and walk around the corner to the shipping store. Luckily, it’s pretty empty so it only takes me a few minutes to get a few documents I have notarized, and the packages mailed off. When I’m done, I try to call Matthew again as I walk to his building but this time the call goes right to voicemail.
“Come on, you can explore on the way back to the car,” I tell PJ, picking him up. When we get inside the building, I bypass the information desk on the first floor and go to the elevator. It’s been well over a year since I visited Matthew at work, but when the doors slide open, nothing has changed. The elegant carpet, expensive wallpaper, and art on the walls all still scream money, but then again, this is one of the best injury law firms around, and they bring in millions of dollars a year.
Placing PJ back on his feet, I walk up to the front desk and the older woman sitting behind it smiles at me then blinks before she lunges out of her chair.
“Franny.”
“Hey, Terry.” I laugh as she rushes around the desk, wrapping me in a hug.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so happy to see you.”
“You too, how are your boys?” I ask as she lets me go.
“Great, giants, gross, so all the G’s.” She laughs.
“So nothing has changed?” I laugh along with her.
“Not much.” She reaches out and grabs my hand, holding it towards her. “You look amazing. How have you been?”
“Really good,” I tell her quietly, and her face gets soft.
“I’m happy to hear that.” She shakes her head then tips it to the side. “What brings you here?”
“I’m just picking something up from Matthew.”
“Oh, are you two…” she trails off.
“No.” I shake my head, knowing what she’s asking.
“Darn.” I have no reply to that.
“Is he around? I tried to call, but he’s not picking up.”
“That’s odd, he was just in his office.” She walks back around the desk and picks up the desk phone putting it to her ear. “Hey, Franny’s here are you available?” She asks then smiles bright and gives me a thumbs up. “Alright I’ll send her back.” She puts the phone back down. “He’s in his office you can go on back.”
I don’t want to go back, I want him to meet me like he said he would, but apparently, that’s not going to happen.
“Thanks Terry, is he still in the same office?”
“Oh no.” Her eyes widen. “Since making partner, he moved, he’s now at the end of the hall, just keep going, and you’ll run right into it.”
“Thanks.” I let PJ lead the way down the hall and since the entire front of Matthews office is made of glass, I can see him sitting at his desk. He’s not on his phone but his laptop is open in front of him.
When he sees me, he gets out of his chair and walks to the door, opening it.
“Hey.” He holds it for me to come in, but I don’t make a move to step inside.
“I tried to call you.”
“Did you?” His smile doesn’t even falter.
“Multiple times.” I force a smile.
“Weird, my phone didn’t even ring.” He grins as his gaze travels down my body, lingering a moment too long on my breast. “You look beautiful. I love the dress.”
“I’m sorry.” I ignore the compliment and the comment about my dress, both of them making me feel itchy and uncomfortable. “I don’t have a lot of time I need to be somewhere in the next twenty minutes.”
“Well you’re here, at least let me show you my office.” He wraps his hand around my upper arm and pulls me inside taking the choice away from me. “What do you think?” He waves his hand out to encompass the room.
“It’s nice.” I look around. “You have a great view.” And he does. He’s on the top floor of the building with a corner office so you can see the city out the windows, and with the sun low on the horizon the buildings are all beginning to glow a pretty gold color.
“Thanks, I’m enjoying all the sunlight.”
“I bet,” I tell myself that I shouldn’t get annoyed, but I’m annoyed he told me that he would meet me downstairs, then likely avoided my calls so that I would have no choice but to come up here. And then he knew I was here and didn’t just come out to meet me; instead, he had me come down to his office, and still, he hasn’t made a move to give me the check. The reminder of how manipulative he can be grates against my skin, making me wish I had said yes to Dayton coming with me.
“I was even able to get that desk I always wanted.” He motions to the huge mahogany desk in the middle of the room.
“That’s awesome, I’m happy for you.”
“It’s nice, right?”
“Very.” I force another smile. “I’m sorry, Matthew, but I really do have somewhere I need to be.”
“Of course, sorry.” He says over his shoulder as he walks towards his desk. “What are your plans this evening?”
“Dayton and I are babysitting his nephew.” I lean over to pet PJ when he jumps up on my leg. I didn’t miss that he didn’t even acknowledge my pup or miss that PJ didn’t even attempt to greet him.
“Dayton?”
“You’ve met him.” I don’t give him a description, he’s not stupid he knows exactly who Dayton is, they’ve met and been introduced multiple times. He’s just playing dumb so that I’ll think that Dayton is so insignificant to him he didn’t even bother remembering his name.
“Are you two dating?” He picks up a piece of paper from the corner of his desk.
“Yes.”
“Oh,” He seems surprised by my honesty. “Is it serious?”
“Very.” I take a step in his direction. “Is that the check?”
Dropping his eyes to it he looks at it for a long moment then shakes his head. “Yeah, sorry.” He holds it out to me.
“Thanks.” I place it in my purse without even looking at it. “Well.” I take a step back out of his space. “It was good seeing you.”
“You too,” he mutters while staring at me like he’s never seen me before.
“Have a good night.” I turn on my heels, hurry to the door, and then out it.
When I get to the front desk, I say goodbye to Terry, then get on the elevator and type out a message to Dayton, letting him know that I’ll be home soon. His reply of ‘good’ is almost immediate; his next message of ‘Did it go okay?’ comes a second after that. I text back that it was fine, he doesn’t need to know that Matthew didn’t meet me like he said he would. I just want to focus on the positives, and one of those positives is that Matthew and I are well and truly done. Sure, we will always be connected through our families, but after today, there is nothing else tying us together, so unless we happen to be at the same function, I won’t need to see or talk to him again. That feels good, really good.
* * *
Leaving Dayton in the bathroom, still brushing his teeth, I walk to the bed and pick up one of the books he purchased for me after I mentioned to him in passing that I hadn’t had time to make it to the bookstore to pick up a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting .
Not only did he get me that book, but he also got a few other basics along with my current read, which was written by a first-time mom who was nervous about motherhood.
Getting comfortable with my legs stretched out in front of me, I open the book to where I left off and feel my nose scrunch as I read that while I’m pregnant, I might get hairier. I’m sure it’s not as bad as the image in my head, but all I can picture is me all of a sudden becoming a sasquatch. That, on top of the accidentally peeing all the time, should be fun.
When the mattress moves, I set my book aside and watch Dayton crawl up from the foot of the bed towards me while I smile.
“I think that you should have this tattooed after the baby gets here.” He says wrapping his arms around my thighs pressing a kiss to my skin.
“I’m not getting the word mine tattooed on my thigh.” I thread my fingers through his hair as I laugh.
“You’re right, you should just get my name.” He licks over the ink that is still staining my skin even after our shower.
“You’re crazy.”
“Or am I a genius?” He sucks on my skin, and my hips lift off the bed. Smiling, his hand travels slowly up my thigh to my stomach. “How are you feeling?”
“Good.” I cover one of his hands with my own. “Happy.”
“You’re getting bigger by the day.”
“I read that he or she is the size of an avocado right now.”
“Oh yeah?” He says softly.
“In just a couple of weeks, we have the appointment where we will find out what we are having.”
“What do you want, a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know.” I roam my eyes over his face and try to picture what our baby might look like. I wonder if it’s a boy if he will have his eyes and hair or if it’s a girl if she will be blessed with his long, thick lashes. “What do you want?”
“As long as they are healthy, I don’t care.”
“Me either.” I reach out and slide his hair off his forehead where it’s fallen. “I hope that they are as adorable as Rowen,” I tell him, and his face gets soft.
Having never babysat before, I was a little nervous about watching Rowen this evening, but from the moment Clay and Willow left to go to dinner, Dayton and I just kind of fell in sync. We fed him dinner, played with him, and then got him ready for bed before Dayton put him to sleep. I’m sure doing that every day will be exhausting and that no two days will ever be the same. But it gave me a tiny glimpse of what it will be like when we are parents, and I have no doubt that he’s going to be not just a great dad but a great partner.
“I’m going to have my brothers come over in the next few weeks and help me clean out the guest room so that we can start setting it up and getting it ready for the baby.” My heart starts to pound. “I figured we can get the crib and stuff now, then decorate when we know if it’s a boy or a girl.” Oh god, I feel lightheaded. “What’s wrong?” I focus on him and not the sound of blood rushing to my ears and find his brows drawn together.
“I don’t know. I mean, I love that idea, but I don’t live here and…”
“But they will be here.” He says softly cutting me off then continues gently. “And as their dad, I want them to have a space here.”
“Of course.” I agree with my heart feeling heavy because I want to be here too. I want to be part of that plan, but part of me is still terrified that we are moving way too quickly and this bubble that we are living in right now is going to burst and… And if that happens, I will be right back where I was when I left Matthew—living in my studio trying to figure out who I am and what I’m doing. Only I’ll be doing that with a baby that I share custody of with him and absolutely heartbroken because I have never felt about another person the way I feel about him.
“One day at a time, Franny.” He slides up my body and pulls me against his chest. “We’re still taking this one day at a time.” His lips come to rest against my forehead as he continues to speak. “And every day, I’ll continue to choose you.”