Chapter Four #2
“The day before Christmas Eve! Excellent timing! I can’t wait to have you back,” Autumn said, grinning. “How long are you staying?”
“Until the spring at least,” Bluebell said. “So long as I don’t get bored.”
“When have you ever not been bored in your life?” Maddie teased.
“True,” Bluebell said. “But I haven’t seen you all in an age. It’ll be Christmas, Pip will be home, you’re there, Mads, there’s work to be done. I’ll keep myself busy.”
“I’m here, too,” Autumn pointed out. “Just down the road. I’ll keep you entertained.”
“I figured, since you and Marley are making another baby tonight, you’d be too tired to hang out,” Bluebell said, smiling provocatively.
“You know full well we’re not having any more kids.” Autumn rolled her eyes.
“Another nephew or a brand-new niece would be the absolute best way to get me to stay home,” Bluebell said.
Autumn looked like she might be thinking that through, then folded her arms and pursed her lips. “No.” Bluebell and Maddie laughed.
Never one to miss a cue, the door opened and Benjamin came running into the kitchen in his duffle coat and wellies. His face was flushed red from the cold and his breath was visible, quick and raspy, so they knew he’d sprinted to the house from the garden.
“Mamma, I fed the pig!” he shouted, throwing himself into Autumn’s arms.
“Hurray!” Autumn said, holding her hand up for him to high five.
“I fed the pig, Aunty Bluebell!” he shouted at the TV.
Bluebell acted shocked. It made Maddie smile. Bluebell, who loved pigs, was excited to meet Pigglesworth, who Maddie had told her all about.
“Great work, buddy,” Bluebell said.
“Aunty Maddie, I fed the pig!” he said.
“Wow!” Maddie dutifully reacted as though she’d just heard the news. Benjamin wriggled from Autumn’s grasp, kicking off his wellies and running towards the living room, screaming his news to Marley, Emma and Ben from the hallway as he went. The three women exchanged knowing glances.
“I have enough going on with one,” Autumn said, pointedly. Maddie and Bluebell laughed again.
Bluebell beamed. “I cannot wait to squidge him.”
“Ten days,” Maddie reminded her, but Bluebell was no longer looking at her. She was staring at the doorway behind them, where James was instructing Stevie Licks to come in and lie down. Once she had complied, he turned his attention to them, waving a little awkwardly at the television screen.
“I promised Benjamin I’d stay for dinner,” he explained. “It was the only way I could get him to stop demanding I sleep over. I hope that’s OK.”
“Fine,” Maddie said. They tumbled into silence. Bluebell and Autumn stared at each other through the screen, looking uncomfortable. James remained standing, straight and still, in the corner of the kitchen. Maddie pretended she was busy.
“I’m Bluebell,” Bluebell said eventually.
James nodded. “I remember you from school.”
“I remember you too,” Bluebell said. “Didn’t we kiss once on a school trip?”
“No,” James said, blushing.
“Are you sure?” Bluebell frowned.
“I’d definitely remember that.”
Bluebell squinted at the screen, as though trying to get a better look at him. “I’m sure we did,” she insisted.
“I didn’t kiss a woman until I was, like, nineteen,” James said. “Whoever you’re thinking of, it’s definitely not me.”
“Oh.” Bluebell shrugged. “You must look like someone else. Well, nice to meet you again, James.”
James was now blushing profusely. “Nice to meet you, too.” He took off his wellies and then continued to loiter in the doorway. Maddie turned back to Bluebell.
“Are you going to sleep, sis, or are you hanging out here while I cook dinner?”
“I’ll hang out with you,” Bluebell said.
She was brushing her long blonde hair with an extravagant, beaded hairbrush.
She was still watching James. Maddie knew why Bluebell had chosen to stay.
Her sister would be curious about the obvious tension and wondering why Maddie wasn’t being her typical warm and friendly self.
She wanted to know what was going on. “Sit down, James,” she said, eventually. “Can we get you a coffee?”
“Oh, yes, lovely, thanks.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. Although driven by Bluebell, his request for a drink felt rude and inconsiderate.
She was busy making dinner and he could see that.
She felt subjugated. Maddie wanted to suggest he help himself, but Bluebell — who had a view of everything from where the television was suspended from the wall in one corner of the room — would likely say something about how rude she was being, so she stayed silent and put the kettle on.
James took a seat at the kitchen table opposite Autumn, where he set about watching Maddie make him a coffee, while she simultaneously chopped vegetables for the curry she was making.
Once he was served, the three women carried on speaking as though they were all in the same room.
They discussed family and the things they’d do together when Bluebell got home.
Bluebell insisted she didn’t want to do anything, just sit in and spend time with them all.
Maddie and Autumn laughed at that, exchanging knowing glances.
Bluebell loved a party. There was no way she’d stay home.
When Ben, Emma and Marley entered the kitchen and joined James and Autumn at the kitchen table, the chat continued without interruption, as though Bluebell was right there with them all.
They talked about the news, pop culture and conspiracy theories.
Bluebell told them all about the dogs she was taking care of, expressing her sadness at having to say goodbye.
Every now and then, someone would leave to check on Benjamin, who was in the living room watching videos.
Maddie, who was hyper aware of James’ presence, because it was rare for strangers to witness these conversations, saw him watching the interaction with great interest.
Half an hour later, Marley re-entered the kitchen having checked on Benjamin, and clapped his hands together resolutely. “Right, love of my life, let’s go. We’re losing valuable childfree time.”
“We’re childfree right now,” Autumn pointed out.
“Was he all right?” Maddie asked Marley.
“Watching pig videos.” Marley rolled his eyes. “I wish he was this chill at home. He’s constantly full of beans.”
“I wonder who he gets that from,” Emma teased.
Marley put on his coat. “I don’t have time for this flagellation, Mum. I need to romance my girl.”
“Woman,” Autumn, Maddie and Bluebell corrected him.
“Woman,” Marley repeated. He grabbed Autumn’s hand and pulled her enthusiastically towards the door.
“See you tomorrow, loves,” Ben bid them farewell.
“Be careful on the roads, they’re icy!” Emma called after them. The door closed and the kitchen was silent for a moment while their absence was absorbed. Aware that Emma would be fretting, Maddie gave her mother’s shoulders a squeeze.
“I don’t think I’ve ever come across a family so close,” James observed. They were the first words he’d spoken since his exchange with Bluebell.
Emma smiled. “That makes me feel very proud,” she said.
“You should be.” James nodded.
“Dinner is almost ready,” Maddie said. Hearing him say nice things about her family made her uncomfortable when he was so rude to her.
“What are we having?” he asked.
“Vegan masala,” Maddie said.
“Much better than the beans on toast I normally have.” Maddie thought he was talking to the room, but when she glanced at him, he was looking right at her. “Thank you,” he said.
Maddie nodded. She didn’t know what to do. She was surprised by this elaboration, given he’d hardly spoken a word to her in almost two weeks. Before she could stop herself, she offered him a polite smile. He nodded in a curt but not unfriendly way.
“I’m going to go,” Bluebell said. “I can’t keep my eyes open. Love you all.”
They chorused a goodbye and the screen went black. Emma looked bereft once more. Maddie smiled sympathetically at her mother, handing her an oven mitt and nodding towards the oven, beeping in alarm. The naan breads were ready.
After Ben and James had set the table, they coaxed a very tired-looking Benjamin into his booster seat and Maddie placed an unspiced version of the curry before him with some rice and naan. He tucked right in.
“Are you sleeping at the big house, James?” he asked.
“Not tonight, buddy,” James said.
“Will you put me to bed?”
James’ eyes darted to Emma for help.
“I’ll put you to bed, darling,” she said.
“I want James to read me a story.”
“This is lovely, thank you for cooking it.” James gestured to the curry. Maddie got the distinct impression he was trying to change the subject.
“You’re welcome.” Maddie passed him the rice.
“Will you read me a story, James?” Benjamin persisted.
“Benjamin,” Emma warned.
“I can stay and read him a story if you guys are OK with that?” James said. “But I have to go after that, Benjamin, because I have to take Stevie home.”
“Stevie can sleep with me,” Benjamin said.
“Benjamin,” Emma warned him again, shaking her head, albeit with a small smile on her face. “Eat your dinner before it gets cold. Be quick, now. It’s almost bedtime.” She turned back to James. “That’s very kind of you.”
They ate in silence for a while, the only sound their chorus of clinking cutlery.
Maddie felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach — a sadness that hadn’t seemed quite this strong since the summer they’d been nursing Bowie — and tried to get it under control.
She reminded herself that all was OK — Bowie was at peace, her family were all safe and happy, Bluebell and Pip would be home soon, and work on the retreat was progressing on schedule.
There was no reason at all for her to feel this way. It didn’t make things any better.
“Are you OK, love?” Ben asked. “You’re quiet tonight.”
“I’m fine.” Maddie pushed her plate away.
“Are you finished, Benjamin?” Emma asked. Benjamin, who had ripped a piece of naan bread into the shape of a pig and was noisily pretending it was eating his curry, nodded. “Let’s get you in the bath, then,” she said.
“Storytime is at seven thirty, James,” Ben said. “Right after bath time, so we’ll have a glass of wine in the living room, if you fancy it?”
Maddie hoped he’d say no. She enjoyed a glass of wine with her parents most evenings. They’d be leaving soon. She didn’t have many nights like this left to enjoy. He’d be intruding.
“Sounds good,” James said.
“Red or white?” Ben asked.
“Red?” James said, in a manner that implied he wasn’t sure which was correct.
“Excellent choice.” Ben pulled a bottle of red from the wine rack.
Maddie thought about making her excuses and heading upstairs, but straying from their routine would alarm her father and prompt a future conversation Maddie didn’t have the energy for.
It would be much less effort to endure things for the evening, so she watched her dad pour four glasses of wine and then followed him to the living room, delivering Emma’s to the bathroom on the way.
Ben and Maddie took their usual seats, Maddie on the floor in front of the fire and Ben in the armchair by the window.
James perched on the edge of the sofa, commanding Stevie Licks to lie down at his feet.
“How’s your mum, James?” Ben asked.
“She’s all right, thanks,” he said. This was the standard answer he always gave every time anyone asked. Maddie got the impression he wasn’t close to her, despite the fact they lived together. He changed the subject. “How’s Pip doing?”
“He’s well, I think. He’s so busy. He calls me, blurts stuff out for ten minutes and then tells me he has to go and hangs up the phone.
” Ben chuckled, shaking his head. Maddie smiled fondly.
Her little brother was a socialist political campaigner and human rights activist. He had a huge group of friends and a very active social life.
He was living in shared accommodation in London and enjoying himself immensely.
Maddie missed him so much her heart ached, but she had no desire to deprive him of his chaotic youth by telling him so.
Pip was wild, but he was also family-orientated.
If he had any inkling how deeply his family missed him, he’d be home in an instant.
“He sounds really cool,” James said.
“He is, I think,” Ben said. “Though I’ve long since accepted I’m no longer the arbiter on what is cool.”
“He is cool,” Maddie concurred, setting aside her dislike for James for a second to brag about her little brother. “Though he would tell me I’m not allowed to say that, either.”
“The first rule of being cool is that it’s not cool to be labelled cool,” James said. Ben laughed. “I know that because I’m cool,” he added.
“I thought it was fine if other people called you cool, just not if you called yourself cool,” Ben said, thoughtfully.
“Dunno.” James shrugged. “I’m too cool to think too deeply about it.”
They tittered then fell into a comfortable silence.
Maddie watched the clock. She couldn’t wait for James to leave so she could have her parents and her home back to herself.
She could just about handle having someone who didn’t like her around from nine to five, but not in the evenings.
This time was sacred to her. It was when she unwound.
She stared out of the window, fretting. Outside, the snow was falling fast.
“I hope Pigglesworth is all right out there in this weather,” Maddie said. She was talking to her father, but somehow James concluded her concerns were directed at him.
“He’ll be warmer than we are,” James reassured her. “But I’ll look in on him before I go.”
“If your farmer mates could see you now,” Ben said. “Worried about the safety and comfort of a pig.”
“I wasn’t there long enough to make any friends,” James said.
He looked right at Maddie as he said it, as though it was important she knew that he meant it.
“Thanks to you.” He raised his wine glass to her.
Maddie blushed and shrugged. “I’m really enjoying working here.
Not only do I get to be with Stevie all day, but I’ve found it really rewarding helping Pigglesworth. ”
Maddie knew they were waiting for her to say something, but she had nothing to contribute. It had been Marley and her parents, really, who had floated the initial idea. She’d done nothing except relent because she’d been too tired for theatrics and thought his dog was cute.
“We’re enjoying having you here, James,” Ben said. “When are you planning on running away again?”
“I reckon by the time you open in spring I’ll have enough saved up to tide me over on the next wave of my travels.”
“Perfect!” Ben said, standing up as his mobile phone began ringing. He checked who was calling and Maddie saw his face drop. She panicked.
Something was wrong.