Chapter 27 #2
The stream of emotions rolling through his little mind is too familiar to me. I remember being told that my parents had passed away.
“No, Pop. That can’t be true. They were coming home and we were going bowling tomorrow for Dad’s birthday.”
I was fourteen, but I felt so helpless, so vulnerable—probably a lot like Gus right now.
Tears fill my eyes as he wrestles with coming to terms with something so devastating. There’s a haunting familiarity that’s a punch to the gut. He’s done this before. He’s lost someone he loves already. And he’s thinking about that.
It has to feel so … big.
This is so unfair.
His hands ball into fists at his sides. His eyes are foggy when he looks at his dad, and his voice breaks when he speaks.
“So, he’s gonna die?”
“I’m sorry,” Jory says quietly. “But yes. It seems that way. Probably in the next day or two.”
He nods slowly.
“If you want, we can go to Ohio and try to make it in time for you to say goodbye,” Jory says. “But that’s up to you. Your mom’s there now, and your aunts and cousins are with her. So, she’s not alone.”
Gus springs to his feet and lunges across the room, tackling me. I catch his flying body as his arms wrap around my neck and he sobs into my chest.
I hold him with one arm and cover my mouth to try to soften the sounds of my own cries. He shakes with the force of a much older person as he spills his heartache onto me.
Tears stream down my face as I comb my fingers through his hair, rocking him back and forth. I want to tell him that it’s going to be okay and that it’s okay for him to be sad. But none of those words can make it past the lump in my throat.
Jory watches the two of us, his eyes cloudy. He sniffles, letting his head hang.
“This stinks,” I whisper, continuing to rock him. “I know it sucks so much. I’m so sorry, Gus.”
“It’s not fair.”
“I know it’s not.” I rest my cheek against the side of his head as he begins to calm down a little.
“If you’d like to go say goodbye, your dad will drive you to Ohio tonight.
” My gaze connects with Jory’s and the pain in my heart is reflected in his eyes.
“You don’t have to go—it’s your choice. You get to choose what’s best for you.
But your mom might like to have you with her. ”
Gus pulls back, wiping his face with the back of his hands. “Is Papa in the hospital?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Then, yes. I want to go there.” He sniffles as his lip quivers. “I need to tell him I love him.”
I give his hand a squeeze. “Of course, buddy.”
“We’ll need to head to our house and pack you a bag,” Jory says. “Can you wait in the car for me and I’ll be right out?”
He nods, his shoulders carrying the weight of the world on them. He looks up at me, gives me one last lingering hug, then heads to the driveway.
Once he’s gone, I blow out a long breath while drying my cheeks. “That’s not heartbreaking or anything.”
“I don’t know when I’ll be back,” Jory says. “I have no idea what I’m walking into, you know?”
I nod. “Yeah. I get it. Can I help at all? Can I make you hotel reservations or something? If it’s eight hours there, you’ll need to sleep before you come back. I expect this will be an emotional trip for you, too.”
He sighs, getting to his feet. “I don’t fucking know. I guess it’s probably better just to get something when I’m there. I don’t know what’s close or if Gus will stay with me or his mom …”
I follow him to the front door, rubbing his back between his shoulder blades as we go. I just want to touch him, to help him.
He stops at the door, turning to me, cupping my face in his palms, and studying my face with an intensity that sends a chill through my body.
“Be safe, okay?” I say, fighting to keep the emotion out of my tone. He doesn’t need my insecurities tossed on him today, too.
His lips meet mine in the sweetest, gentlest kiss. It lingers for a few long seconds before he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine.
“Everything I fear in life, I wind up facing much faster than I expect.” He takes a deep breath. “I lost my dad at eighteen. I became a dad to a pre-teen and had to grow up overnight. My career is shorter than I expected.” He pulls back, looking me in the eyes. “And I have to say goodbye to you.”
Tears roll down my cheeks because this really feels like goodbye. A real goodbye. The final kind.
“I gotta go,” he says. He rests his lips against my forehead before walking out of the house.
Once the door is shut, I choke back a sob. Because sometimes your heart knows things your brain can’t process. Or maybe things your brain refuses to accept.
But in the depths of my soul, I know what just happened.
He said goodbye.
I knew he was going to go, that he wasn’t staying in Sugar Creek, but it wasn’t supposed to end like this. We were going to have a few more weeks together. He would have had time to invite me to go with him.
Is this it? Are we done forever?
I cover my mouth, my knees going weak, and slide down the wall until I’m sitting on the floor in a heap of tears and misery. Gus is broken. Jory is struggling. And I can’t be there to help either of them.
It’s the two of them against the world … without me.
Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I do what I always do when I need a friend.
Me: Hey. You free? I could really, really use a hug.
The bridge of my nose burns as I wait for her reply. Thankfully, it comes in seconds.
Mira: On my way.