Chapter Seven
Sam took her time walking up the sidewalk to the door.
She knew she was dawdling, but felt like she needed every last minute to prepare herself.
She paused before the red oak door, noticing the camera there, and briefly closed her eyes.
She reached out a hand, but the front door flew open before she could even raise her hand to knock.
Sam gaped at the unruly blond hair and bright blue eyes of what seemed to be a miniature version of Alex standing in the doorway.
“Hello!” the young girl said brightly, squinting at Sam. “Who are you?”
Even though she had seen a picture, Sam was speechless at the uncanny resemblance. She hadn’t known Alex at that age, but she could remember from all the photos she had seen that her daughter was her carbon copy.
“Sophie, this is my friend Sam.” Sam looked beyond the girl and saw Alex standing in the background, a slight smile on her lips. “She’s here for Sunday dinner.”
Sophie took a moment to consider the information, looking Sam up and down as she did.
Sam felt herself smiling at the girl’s boldness.
The physical resemblance was where the similarities wore off.
Alex had always been slightly shy. This girl was not lacking in confidence.
After a thorough and detailed appraisal, Sophie seemed satisfied. “Okay,” she said, nodding her approval.
“Why don’t you go help Gran set the table?” Alex’s voice was filled with affection.
“Okay!” Sophie let the door swing open. She turned and ran from the room, shouting for her grandmother as she did so.
“Wow,” Sam breathed as her attention shifted to Alex. “I don’t think I’ve ever been checked out like that before. And by an eight-year-old, no less.”
“I imagine you get checked out quite a bit.” Alex looked from her face down her body and then back up again. “And I’m pretty sure it’s not just eight-year-olds doing it.”
Sam felt her face flush. She hadn’t been prepared for flirtatious Alex.
Or for the vision of Alex, who looked gorgeous, as she stood before her.
Her hair fell in soft, blond waves to her shoulders, and the worn blue-jean shirt made the iciness of her blue eyes even more pronounced.
Damn, even after all these years, and all the heartache, she could still leave her tongue-tied.
“I do okay,” she said cautiously, clearing her throat. She was happy she had taken extra care with her appearance that day and worn one of the few nice shirts she had brought. Clearly, it had paid off. She did her best to maintain eye contact with Alex, but it wasn’t easy.
“I’m sure,” Alex murmured. She met Sam’s eyes for a long moment before Nadine’s voice interrupted them.
“Samantha Weaver?” Nadine came up behind Alex and paused to assess Sam, who was still standing rooted on the front porch.
“Nadine.” Sam felt herself stiffen, but she kept her tone even. Her eyes never left Nadine’s face. Nadine met her gaze and held it. After a tense moment, the older woman inhaled deeply and then let it out. Sam saw her shoulders heave with the movement.
“Alex?” Nadine asked over her shoulder. “Give us a minute, hon?”
Alex narrowed her eyes, looking from Sam to her mother, then back again, a questioning look in her eyes.
Sam clenched her jaw and gave a terse nod.
I guess we’re doing this now. Alex met her eyes, silently asking Sam if she was sure.
Sam shook her head. After one more sidelong glance at her mother, Alex finally conceded.
“Okay…” She drew the word out, still obviously wary.
Sam sensed that she was giving her time for an escape if she needed one. “It’s okay, Alex,” she said gently. “I’d love a few minutes to catch up with your mother.” She forced a smile, hoping it masked the turmoil she was feeling inside.
“That’s fine,” Alex said slowly. “I’ll be just out back if you need me.” She gave them both another long look before turning away.
Nadine stepped onto the porch. “Come.” She took Sam’s elbow in her hand. “Please, let’s sit.”
Sam shrugged off Nadine’s elbow but followed her toward the swing hanging from the porch’s open rafters.
Nadine knew how much Sam loved the swing.
She had spent hours rocking, sometimes reading, sometimes just thinking, as Nadine and Alex tended to the flower beds, the three of them chatting about anything and everything.
They had enjoyed countless glasses of lemonade on the porch in the summer.
In the fall, they carved pumpkins on the concrete floor.
Now Sam held herself stiffly at the edge of the swing while Nadine sat opposite her in one of the patio chairs. Nadine eyed Sam openly. Sam let her assess but remained still. She wasn’t going to be the one to break first.
“Sam,” Nadine finally began. “I need to tell you how sorry we were to hear about your mother. I know what she meant to you. I can’t imagine what you had to go through.”
Sam tipped her head in thanks but remained silent. She didn’t think Nadine had kept her out here just to offer her condolences. Sam sat in silence, waiting.
“Alex came back home a few months ago,” Nadine finally began. Sam cocked her head and frowned slightly. This wasn’t what she was expecting. Nadine smiled dryly. “I know what you’re thinking. But please, give me a minute to get it all out. I feel like I have some time to make up for.”
“You don’t have to make up for anything, Nadine,” Sam pointed out. She pushed the swing into a slow rock. “You’re entitled to your opinion.”
Nadine regarded her for a moment before nodding in agreement. “That may be,” she agreed. “But opinions can change.” She looked out over the yard for a minute, and Sam wondered if she needed the time to collect her thoughts. Eventually, her eyes returned to search Sam’s face.
“You know,” Nadine began again, “Alex was very young when she married Scott.”
“I know exactly how old she was,” Sam ground out through her teeth. She swallowed thickly and looked away. She had heard about Alex’s marriage from Jordan, who had seen Alex around town occasionally. It had hurt then, and it still hurt.
Nadine’s face softened, the hard lines around her mouth melting away as she looked at Sam. “I understand that’s what you believe,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “But there’s more to the story than you realize.”
Sam’s head whipped back to Nadine. Now the older woman had her attention.
“She would never tell you how bad it got, but Alex was not in a good place after you left.” Nadine seemed to be choosing her words very carefully.
Sam resisted a snarky comment about Alex not telling her anything—because they hadn’t spoken in years.
But she could see how hard this was on Nadine, and she wanted to see where it was going.
“She tried very hard to be what she thought we wanted her to be. And at the time, yes, it probably really was what we…no, I wanted her to be.” Nadine paused and shook her head ruefully at the memory.
Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes. Sam opened her mouth to speak, but Nadine raised a hand to stop her.
“No, Sam,” she said firmly. “Hear me out, please?” Her eyes searched Sam’s. After a bit of consideration, Sam gestured for Nadine to continue.
“Thank you.” She smiled gratefully. “Alex was devastated. There is no other way to put it. She wouldn’t eat.
She couldn’t sleep. She finished high school in a daze, but just barely.
It was good that she had already finished all her college applications.
Otherwise, she might not have been admitted.
” Nadine paused, seeming to lose herself in the memory.
“She went to live with family in Maryland. And didn’t speak to her father or me for several years.
“We heard from my mother that her first year was still a struggle, but she seemed to be getting better. Maybe it was the distance from us.” Nadine shrugged.
“Anyway, she turned to the first guy who asked her out. And that was Scott. He was a good guy, a decent man. He treated her well. He was stable. At the time, it was the best that she let herself hope for.” She shook her head sadly, her eyes welling up. “And that was my fault.”
Sam looked at Nadine, wondering precisely what the woman was trying to say. But still, she didn’t interrupt.
“I let my little girl think she had to sacrifice herself to be happy.” The tears escaped and rolled down Nadine’s cheek.
She hastily brushed them away. “Alex spent so much time trying to do what she could to please her father and me, trying to be what she thought we wanted her to be.” She choked out a bitter laugh.
“And what I really should have wanted was for her to be happy—to be herself—and love her no matter what. But I was so stubborn. So foolish. And so…wrong.” Nadine shook her head helplessly.
Sam stopped the swing’s motion and crossed the porch to take the chair beside the other woman.
They sat side by side silently for a long moment, gazing across the yard and into the distance, until Sam broke the silence.
“Alex wasn’t the only person you hurt, Nadine,” she said quietly, but firmly. “What about how you treated me?”
“I’m not proud of how I acted, Sam.” Nadine looked down at her hands.
“You told everyone who would listen that I corrupted your daughter, that I forced myself on her, that I was a dirty sinner that was going to hell.” Sam wiped at her eyes. “You tried to turn everyone against me.”
“I know,” Nadine whispered. She looked over at Sam. “It took Alex leaving for me to realize that I might be wrong.”
Sam let out a hollow laugh. “You think?”
“I don’t go to that church any longer,” Nadine said. “I found someplace else that helped me realize that being a Christian isn’t about judgment and condemnation. It’s about love.” She looked over at Sam.