Chapter 39 #2
“You go to enough away games, you start to realize every arena is modeled the same.” She points to the door in front of us. “He should be in there.”
I turn to Jett. “Let me talk to him first, okay? Will you guard the door?”
He doesn’t have to be asked twice as he gives me a firm nod and stays behind as I dart through the door.
My first thought is about how gross it is in this locker room.
The smell is abhorred because of the shared space, but it’s also absent of any descenter.
I have the slight suspicion that it’s on purpose to overstimulate the other team before they’ve even hit the ice.
There’s so many smells, and the space is so small, that I feel an instant headache coming in.
I round the corner and see him, sweaty and defeated, his jaw clenched so hard it looks like he might pop something.
“Coach, I told you it could wait until halftime,” my blond alpha says, but then he looks up at me, his eyes widening in fear as he growls. “Rory, you shouldn’t be here.”
I stop in my tracks at his tone, hearing all alpha and not the softhearted, goofy man that I know. A whine makes its way up my throat without permission. I’m trying not to focus on the subconscious fear that wants to rise at the sight of his alpha being so close to the surface.
When he sees that I paused, he sighs. “Baby, I am feeling too much right now. My alpha is angry . I don’t want you to witness it.”
I peer closer at him. The energy rolling off of him is almost pulsing, his dominance fully in the front seat. I should be scared, and a small part of me is, but I’m also mesmerized. Like this part of him was meant for me to witness. His pure power radiates and calls to me like a beacon.
“Why do you not want me to witness you like this?” I ask as I step closer to him.
“You shouldn’t have to. You said you didn’t like seeing this side of alphas. I don’t want you to regret giving me a chance.”
The worry falls away at the confession, and I close the space between us and sit beside him on the dirty bench.
“I won’t ever regret it,” I tell him. “I want to know and see every part of you.”
“But I don’t like when I feel like this…
when my alpha rages. It doesn’t feel like me but sometimes it’s so hard to let it subside.
Like I’m on guard, like someone could come and hurt me or the people I love,” he rasps.
My breath hitches at his words, and another crack that I once thought I had morphs back together.
Alphas are just as affected by their biology as omegas. The acts of one don’t reflect them all. The sole difference between different alphas are how they handle it, how they consciously acknowledge their dominance.
My alpha is pouring his heart out to me and it’s the strongest I’ve ever seen him. I’ve never been more proud to call him mine.
“You are an alpha .” I place my hands gently on his cheeks, cradling his face so he can look at me. “But you’re not just an alpha. You’re a wonderful person. And you feel so deeply and you’re honest about it. I know these things. I’m never going to judge you for your instincts. Never .”
“But… your past,” Dax mumbles but still he places his hands on top of mine.
“My past made me put my guard up, made me constantly worried that someone was going to come hurt the ones I love,” I growl.
“I went after Stacia’s ex with a bat because I heard him use his dominance to beat her down.
I left as soon as I turned eighteen because when my mother’s punching bag died, she turned to me.
She revels in her dominance and anger, loves that she can bark people into submission.
” I pull him closer to me, making sure his eyes meet mine.
“You are nothing like that. That’s why I love you. ”
Some of his anger visibly dissipates in response. Both surprise and hope circle his deep blue irises. “Did you just—” His mouth gapes open, and his hands move to cradle my own face. “You love me?”
“So, so much,” I say, barely above a whisper, but he hears me clear as day.
His palms on my cheeks ground me as he gives a wet laugh. His chest erupts in a sudden purr, the vibrations visibly pulsing around us. “I love you, too.”
When our lips meet, it’s soft but also greedy, like we can’t get as close as we want to. Our scents morph together and almost act as a barrier to the disgusting array of smells around us, leaving us in our own perfect bubble.
It’s that reminder of the dirty place we’re in that makes me pull back a little, scrunching my nose with frustration. “I would gladly return the favor from your birthday party if we weren’t in a literal cesspit.”
Dax barks out a laugh. “We have all the time in the world. We can revisit that later.”
He pulls me into his side and I fall into it with ease. We fit together so perfectly that I give a euphoric sigh.
“I actually have something to ask you,” he adds, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard it.
“Oh?” I raise a curious brow. “You’re not going to ask me if you did the wrong thing out there, are you? Because if I’m honest, I don’t think you hit him hard enough.”
“No.” He rolls his eyes jovially. “My family is having Everett and Jett over for Thanksgiving. Everett’s mom will also be there. I was wondering if you wanted to come, too.”
I can already tell that the grin on my face is going to hurt my cheek muscles but I can’t stop it. “You’re inviting me to meet your family? Oh, we must be official. This is exciting,” I tease.
“We’re in love,” Dax reiterates the scene from a few moments ago. “I want my family to meet my pack. The people who make me happiest.”
“My dad would have loved you three,” I say without thinking, and I realize that it’s true. Each of them would have had an amazing relationship with him. And even though they can’t, that’s okay. Just knowing without any doubt that he would be proud of me is enough.
“I know, baby,” he replies, wiping the tear that I didn’t even know was there. “We would have loved him, too.”